FBI/CIA:
Rule no3: Don't marry out of pity

baralatie: @OP!
WOW!u av a handful!
Best dnt answer any of his cals!

chidyhels: U have said it all,why do u want us to advice you again.

A matured lady like u shud knw hw to keep him off. You are leading him on,you better stop it and ask him to get a life.
Keeping him on the frndzone is nt advisable,dnt be selfish.

LadySophie:

I'm not leading him on at all. He is the one who seem unable to walk away, to let go. I am a very principled and sincere person especially when it concerns to matters of the heart. I hate playing with people's emotion and i have spelt it out to him to the extent of being insolent towards him which i regret. He always compares any girl he meets with my standard and according to him, ( he comes back to give me analysis of any girl he meets ) they always fall short of his expectations. I hate cutting friends off my contact cos i see that as being rude and heartless. I am of the belief that he thinks well of me and loves me to want to marry me, even though i feel he is not right for me, i should at least reciprocate is goodwill by being friendly with him but firmly mark the boundary. Not picking his calls, to me is rude and that is the last impression i want anyone to have about me.

lorialuv:

My point exactly, don't marry outta pity, be serious and tell him ur mind.. And also limit ur interractions wit him and his family.. Goodluck!

Jazz247: @rigormortis
I love your analytical explanation.
Op should just tell us that the guy performance on bed is below average. Age is not a barrier.

rigormortis: judging by the rule that you don't serve when you are older than 30

you should be around 28 at most when you served

since you are 5 years older the guy should be around 28-5=23yo

4 years later you are now about 28+4=32

the guy is around 23+4=27

if your child is now 14, you had your baby when you were around, 32-14=18yo.....maybe 17 going to eighteen

when you were serving your child was around 14-4=10 years

my point is

a 27 (in love) year old guy with a job plus the child's mothers little financial input and love should be able to take care of the child and family unless there is something else hidden you have not told us

if you can do it at 17/18 yrs, and at 28yrs alone while the child was 10, now that you have a 27yo guy to help out and a child at 14...is now a teen, it should get a lil easier for you unless there is something else hidden you have not told us

I am not into that every body must be married by all means stuff, but if you are a girl and single mom and willing to marry
28+4=32 yrs...you are not getting younger unless there is something else hidden you have not told us

judging by numbers you can marry him cos age is nothing but a number

but judging emotionally, this cant be calculated.....if its not there just let him go

but I feel like you have left something important out
cos judging by numbers only this story doesn't add up...no pun intended

tellwisdom: You don't need any advise young woman. If you don't want him for marriage, but only for friendship, tell him.
I might choose to tell you something contrary to your wants which is against the law of Kabumbulumboo . #Just respect your wants

Re-edit your subject

ITbomb: When is Nigeria match showing.
I bet 10k for Nigeria , pls everybody help me pray for those overage youngsters.
.
Back to topic, sit him down and tell him exactly what u r telling us now. If he insist then , ride him down.

LadySophie:

Please how will you want me to re-phrase it dear?

Tell me you just re-edited it

specialguest: From your post i can deduce two facts.
1) you are not comfortable with his denomination
2) you do not think he is matured enough to handle a wife and a step son
I consider these two enough reasons not to get married to any guy sentiments aside.

Above all pray about it and search within your heart , your answers lies there.

LadySophie:
I don't have a heart to ride people down

solomon111: Age is nothing but numbers.
The guy is an adult and has probably weighed out the pros and cons.
So before i go further with my advice, i would like to ask you a question.
Do you love him enough to marry him if he were older than you?

ITbomb:
Then I guess you have the heart to subject two souls to a life of regret and frustration.
.
See the scenerio
You have not given him enough reason to back out. To tell him that you are a mother and older means nothing to him as he has probably weighed all those things and concluded that age is not a problem.
Tell him the truth that this is beyond age issue , that it is a psychology issue which will prevent you from respecting him and doing your duties as a wife to him. Tell him you need an older man to respect that without respect the marriage will be frustrated , insist that you respect him as a very loving friend but you just cant translate that respect to him as a husband.
Finally , tell him you need your son to marry a younger girl as his father had married her, as such you would not set a wrong precedent for your son. It may sound hard and harsh but it will prevent future regret and even elevate your relationship as a true friend to him.
.
If he still insist, then do the needful .
But remember that you have reached your peak in attractiveness and declining , while the guy is just entering to era of ravaging sexual hormones. Prepare to get him a junior wife when your strength no longer matches with his energy and demands

LadySophie:


Dear Rigormortis, there is nothing hidden again, i have bared it all. Finance is not my problem here, not that am so rich though. I am working and he is also working. My son's upkeep has been the responsibility of his paternal family so that if i choose not to contribute to his upkeep, he lacks nothing. I want a man i can look up to, not someone whom i will always have to give corrections and control. I will want my man to always take the lead, while i follow and i will be comfortable when this man is older.

LadySophie:

Yes a zillion times! He is a great guy! I'm just not comfortable with the age difference cos in my widest marriage fantasies,. I have never imagined myself with someone younger as a husband.It is his persistence made me to seek other people's views.

thorpido: Well seems you can't marry him cos your heart is not there including other factors of age,responsibility,maturity,a child etc.
He seems to be infatuated by your maturity and experience(what I call Usher Raymond factor).I don't think he's matured enough to handle what he wants to get into.
Let him go by winding him down.Give him less attention and hardly pick his calls.It may seem rude cos I think you have a nice heart but it's good for him.As long as he gets your attention,his infatuation won't go away and it's not helping him.