Hi fellow nairalander,
Pls I need sincere and unbiased advice on this.
My sis got engaged some months ago to a very lovable guy. Disaster struck when few months after d introduction ceremony he changed the password to his fones. They were really opened to each other b4, but suddenly he chngd his passwords. When my sis asked he brushed her off saying its guys thingy, that he and his pals talk raw on chat and wouldn't want her to see such, that he's only protecting her so she won't be hurt. She accepted and they moved on fine.
Just some weeks ago she just tried a password and the phone unlocked! There she saw he has been philandering with so many girls and the brutal part the girls doesn't know he's engaged. She told him and they fought over it, one of his sis intervened and they settled. The guy said it was nothing serious just fun.
After they've settled, d girls never stopped calling, she pointed this out to him. Instead of rectifying this, he changed the names so she won't suspect a thing.
This is the only major bad habit this guy have, he's a nice and caring guy, someone ull never suspect could cheat and whatever he buys he buy in her name (her first name and his surname) to the last pin in his house, this shows he means well and want a future with her.
Now he's always clearing chats and call log.
Their wedding is in 4mnths time, my sis is torn.
Pls any advice will be appreciated.

I'm afraid to say but the truth is your sister's fiancé loves the attention he gets from girls. He definitely loves her and is showing all d signs but he just wants to play around as much as he can.

My advice is simple: while playing around, he should sternly protect himself from impregnating another lady (cos that could lead to something else) and also protect himself from STDs that he could affect ur sister with. Any other reason might not stop him from being who or what he is.

This guy is going to cheat if he marries your sister.it's left to your sister if she's ready to live with that.

Permit my bluntness,if your sister doesn't cancel this wedding,she might end up lamenting on family section.It ll definitely get worse after marriage.


Abeg what thorpido said.

If u still need ur sister's life, tell her to run for her life

thorpido: This guy is going to cheat if he marries your sister.it's left to your sister if she's ready to live with that.

@ OP GBAM! Dazz all o! Its eida she takes it or d rest is history!

Don't mind all this embittered Old lady without marriage experience talking , you can see the man loves your sister that he buys everything in her name he cares and all ,he doesn't abuse her the only thing here which is really not a problem is that the guy just wants to have a feel of what it feels before getting hitched, nothing more the guy is a good man.

Nolongthing1: Don't mind all this embittered Old lady without marriage experience talking , you can see the man loves your sister that he buys everything in her name he cares and all ,he doesn't abuse her the only thing here which is really not a problem is that the guy just wants to have a feel of what it feels before getting hitched, nothing more the guy is a good man.

Hehehehehehehehehe! I sincerely hope your post is sarcasm!

Right from the times of old; Man has always been polygamous in nature. He may sincerely luv you your sis the way you claim, but still feels the urge to play around. Funny enough, a hundred-and-one other ladies will jump at this guy if you your sis leaves him.


Its really a dicey situation!

Your sister is confused.
It is either she accepts him the way she is. . .or she moves on!
He is not going to change.
Cheats need love, sex, and marriage too!

MEN ARE THE CHEATS BEFORE MARRIAGE!
Women become the greater cheats AFTER MARRIAGE!


Ask your father and mother! YOUR SISTER HAS NO BUSINESS DATING A NIGERIAN MAN. . . NOT TO TALK OF MARRYING ONE.
SHE NEEDS TO JOIN A NUNNERY. . . AND PHOCK JESUS CHRIST ONLY. . .EVERY DAY AND NIGHT if she wants TRUE MONOGAMY!
She sef go soon turn 'ASSSHAWO', with all this STRRRESSSS SHE IS GIVING HER AZZZZZ. . . locked phone and all. . . . . After the so-called MARRIAGE-SHAM! Mu he he he he he he

I would rather have a PLAYBOY in bed than A NAUSEATING, BORN-AGAIN-HYPOCRITE-CHRISTIAN-PSYCHODELIC-MONOGAMIST.
If I were to choose between being a 4th wife to a Muslim or an ONLY WIFE to a CHRISTIAN. . . .I WILL CHOOSE THE FORMER!
At least. . . I always know where I stand!


[size=20pt]EVERY WOMAN OR MAN HAS A CHOICE TO MAKE! OP. . .DO NOT CRY FOR ARGENTINA PLEASE. . . .She has a choice to make![/size]

[size=20pt]A WOMAN WHO DECIDES TO GET MARRIED. . . TO A NIGERIA MAN ESPECIALLY HAS SIGNED A DEATH WARRANT. . .
She either dies of AIDS or a MASSIVE HEART ATTACK!
Either way. . . death is a SURE BANKER!

LADIES. . .PLEASE, CHOOSE 1 OR BOTH!!!
[/size]

NIGERIAN WOMEN SABI STRESS DEMSELVES SHA. . . . BECAUSE OF BLOKOS! TUFIAKWAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zu9QM1LQR2g


*4:15. . . .off to work jare. . .and the holiday shopping continues. . . .just when i thought i was done*

. . . .logging my sweetazzze off. . . .

By the way, when you say they fought over this issue, were there any blows thrown? Because that's another issue right there. And the fighting is not going to be less after they get married; rather, it'll be worse, because he clearly has no plans of leaving those girls behind. No need to tell you the ugly outcomes of domestic violence. Listen, marriage is for leaving and cleaving to the ONE, not the many. If he's not ready to do that, maybe he's just not ready, and maybe he's not the one.

Do Not accept/ tolerate wat u can't live with while dating cos like dey say marraige will only expose it further.
He says he is just having fun, but how do u shake a leper without allowing it get t d elbow?
If she can't live wit it.. .
Her choice

ifegy: By the way, when you say they fought over this issue, were there any blows thrown? Because that's another issue right there. And the fighting is not going to be less after they get married; rather, it'll be worse, because he clearly has no plans of leaving those girls behind. No need to tell you the ugly outcomes of domestic violence. Listen, marriage is for leaving and cleaving to the ONE, not the many. If he's not ready to do that, maybe he's just not ready, and maybe he's not the one.

No exchange of blows and all that, I meant intense exchange of harsh words but later he calmed and begged her.

I really appreciate all the responses, thnx for taking out time to reply.

@op,there is nothing confusing here,its left to your sis to decide what she wants in marriage.
D guy is a good man,he is just trying to let your sis know who he is so she can make up her mind.
She should know that whoever you marry is a reflection of your intelligence.
She should think deep, far and pray,as long as she feels peaceful marrying him,why not.

OP this issue is very clear,the guy likes exploring that doesn't mean he doesn't love your sister. Marriage or your sister can not change him untill the day he decides to leave that life. Its going to be his personal decision.

If your sister has also explored well in the past,I would have suggested she overlooks it, with time he may see his foolishness. As far as she doesn't bring a woman home or openly disrespects your sister,I will advise her to stoop to conquer.

The above is the street smart way out. On another level if she can't cope with this she needs to call that marriage off. RIGHT NOW!

wwwlord:

OP this issue is very clear,the guy likes exploring that doesn't mean he doesn't love your sister. Marriage or your sister can not change him untill the day he decides to leave that life. Its going to be his personal decision.

If your sister has also explored well in the past,I would have suggested she overlooks it, with time he may see his foolishness. As far as she doesn't bring a woman home or openly disrespects your sister,I will advise her to stoop to conquer.

The above is the street smart way out. On another level if she can't cope with this she needs to call that marriage off. RIGHT NOW!

seriously will you give your own sister this advise. If her fiance is openly cheating will you advice your sister to marry him just because she needs to "stoop to conquer"?

Op the truth is can your sister accept this man as he is without hopes of her "changing" him in future.? If she can accept him as he is then all good if not........... The guy is being real your sister needs to face reality of who he is rather than what she hopes he will be.
They will be together for a long time,can she put up with this for a long time till maybe he gets old and retires from the game.

Nashville:

seriously will you give your own sister this advise. If her fiance is openly cheating will you advice your sister to marry him just because she needs to "stoop to conquer"?

Mr know it all, the poster would have left the relationship if she can't cope,so what's your noise all about?

wwwlord... and u were d one d@ threw ur girl out for almost the same reasons... I SMH for nigerian men...

cancerlib: Hi fellow nairalander,
Pls I need sincere and unbiased advice on this.
My sis got engaged some months ago to a very lovable guy. Disaster struck when few months after d introduction ceremony he changed the password to his fones. They were really opened to each other b4, but suddenly he chngd his passwords. When my sis asked he brushed her off saying its guys thingy, that he and his pals talk raw on chat and wouldn't want her to see such, that he's only protecting her so she won't be hurt. She accepted and they moved on fine.
Just some weeks ago she just tried a password and the phone unlocked! There she saw he has been philandering with so many girls and the brutal part the girls doesn't know he's engaged. She told him and they fought over it, one of his sis intervened and they settled. The guy said it was nothing serious just fun.
After they've settled, d girls never stopped calling, she pointed this out to him. Instead of rectifying this, he changed the names so she won't suspect a thing.
This is the only major bad habit this guy have, he's a nice and caring guy, someone ull never suspect could cheat and whatever he buys he buy in her name (her first name and his surname) to the last pin in his house, this shows he means well and want a future with her.
Now he's always clearing chats and call log.
Their wedding is in 4mnths time, my sis is torn.
Pls any advice will be appreciated.

Since you will appreciate any advice...

Your sister WOULD HAVE LEFT if the man was not caring aka buying things in her name (besides, are they officially married that he is using her first name and his surname?)

If your sister decides to marry him tomorrow, please do not start crying about that the husband is wicked or cheating; Don't disturb God with your prayers either.

veave: wwwlord... and u were d one d@ threw ur girl out for almost the same reasons... I SMH for nigerian men...

As in eh! I'm surprised myself.
wwlord, you complained days ago about your gf exhibiting similar traits-deceit, lying and hiding things from you.

Now this poster's future in law is doing same and you typed that? I SMH!
Talk about triple standard!

Since you typed that, I suggest you take your girl back too.

Back to Poster,
Marriage only brings out more than we initially saw. See, he won't change; it will only get worse. Can she stomach it?

Remember what we ignore/pay little attention to in courtship become BIG issue in marriage.

As far as I'm concerned, he's using his generosity to capture your sister so he can do his own thing.

If they marry and she complains about this same issue at hand, he will remind her that he's fulfilling his responsibilities, so why the complaint.

veave: wwwlord... and u were d one d@ threw ur girl out for almost the same reasons... I SMH for nigerian men...

Dont mind the idio.t.a, someone who couldnt stand his girl banging a married man is here telling a girl to stoop to conquer..

@Poster please tell your sister to shine her eyes, the guy even seems manipulative, they aren't married yet but why is he buying properties in the girl's name? You think he cant change the name if your sister pisses him off? You dont know he is trying to hook her abi? Lol,its an overused thrick in playboys books. Madam chaircover the sage and chairperson of this section has also given her verdict, the case is closed.

women and their biological make up will always fail miserably because they are driven by emotions.....see as this no good brotha is fooling around and she says thats the only major bad habit bwaaaaah!
she catches him doing wrong and focuses on BS while she should have focussed on the DECEIT, the lack of RESPECT that this man is showing her. and when she catches him , he says he will stop then LIES some more.
any smart person would have run away from this disaster waiting to happen, but not this woman, she want to stick to this no good man, at all cost.

OP
i wish i had any advices but since i know that lady wont listen to the OBVIOUS, i will instead wish her a happy miserable married life.

Nolongthing1: Don't mind all this embittered Old lady without marriage experience talking , you can see the man loves your sister that he buys everything in her name he cares and all ,he doesn't abuse her the only thing here which is really not a problem is that the guy just wants to have a feel of what it feels before getting hitched, nothing more the guy is a good man.

Can she tolerate his cheating attitude for the rest of her life? If yes, let her go ahead with the marriage. The choice is all hers. A broken engagement is far far better than a broken marriage.

jumzzy448: Can she tolerate his cheating attitude for the rest of her life? If yes, let her go ahead with the marriage. The choice is all hers. A broken engagement is far far better than a broken marriage.

sadly, many would simply tolerate this to "stay" married. marriage is the ultimate goal to many miserable women out there who have nothing going on for themselves. their parents have been telling them from the day they were born that marriage is the ultimate, so thats what they believe.....and whether they marry a donkey or an ape, it is irrelevant to some of these women.

Not all nice caring guys make good husbands.
If this guy can't commit properly now why should that change after marriage?
It's really for your sister to decide on what's more important: a husband that is faithful or a husband that buys her all the things she needs. If it's the latter then she's got the perfect guy and if the former then she knows what to do.

The idea of cancelling a wedding must be hard. Family and friends are so excited and the parents have been boasting, spending money and making preparations. To call that off would of course call unwanted attention and drama and unfortunately most Nigerians would not see his player habits as a good enough reason to call the whole thing off. But it may be worth it to save herself from a miserable marriage.

Abeggy! forget about his buying things in her name. Those are material things and surely would not be able to sustain issues by the time yawa go gas. Remember love is blind but marriage is an eye opener. If at this stage your your sis is seeing all this after marriage she would see times 20 of this because he would not just be able to stick with her alone.
The issue of even impregnating women is even minor, what if he should contact AIDS while playing around? What could be as sadening as a married woman being infected by AIDS by her proclaimed husband?
Your sis really need to think and take a wise decision. She still has an option now but once married it would be very difficult to leave ooo. But if she feels all the consequence attached to marrying such a man is no big deal, then let her go ahead.

Poster, can you send the link of this topic to her so she can read others' opinions?

ferhyntorlah: Poster, can you send the link of this topic to her so she can read others' opinions?

Sure, done that already. Tx