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Nairaland’s Singles And Married e-Summit {Season 2 - DONE} - Romance (4) - Nairaland

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Re: Nairaland’s Singles And Married e-Summit {Season 2 - DONE} by vivianc(f): 9:56pm On Nov 17, 2013
@Seagold: If the only thing you could deduce from my points/posts is gender equality, i'm sorry its not my fault here, its yours. So I can't help you.

But if there is/are any point/points not 'moral' enough for you and you want me to address, i'd gladly do it.

PS: Don't expect me to go all religious.
Re: Nairaland’s Singles And Married e-Summit {Season 2 - DONE} by Psychedelia(m): 10:02pm On Nov 17, 2013
*Subscribing*

Me I just dey observe...
Re: Nairaland’s Singles And Married e-Summit {Season 2 - DONE} by Nobody: 10:27pm On Nov 17, 2013
vivianc: @Seagold: If the only thing you could deduce from my points/posts is gender equality, i'm sorry its not my fault here, its yours. So I can't help you.

But if there is/are any point/points not 'moral' enough for you and you want me to address, i'd gladly do it.

PS: Don't expect me to go all religious.
Re: Nairaland’s Singles And Married e-Summit {Season 2 - DONE} by Homguy(m): 11:04pm On Nov 17, 2013
vivianc: I think people are not even ready to have a mature discussion.

So much for our relationship speaker!
Re: Nairaland’s Singles And Married e-Summit {Season 2 - DONE} by Odunharry(m): 11:15pm On Nov 17, 2013
Abeg Make una no abandon d thread o..
Re: Nairaland’s Singles And Married e-Summit {Season 2 - DONE} by Matthewbriggs(m): 11:21pm On Nov 17, 2013
vivianc: I think people are not even ready to have a mature discussion.


Viviance you try, like I pointed out earlier. Your write-up is quite insightful, your point were well researched, ... Moreover personally I wouldn't near any woman that tries to implement all that rules you've stated..., AT ALL. Because for me relationship is not a game of control, of manipulation, of pulling facades. Relationship is not a chess game, it's not an EGO game.

Relationship is about two people who are in love with each other, coming together to understand each other better, in a bid to see whether they can build a future together.

To effectively build this future, openness, sincerity, LOVE IN IT'S REAL ESSENSE is essential. I understand that one of the key challenge we all face is finding the right person. But personally I believe if we focus on building our self to becoming the ideal mate the right man/woman will find us and vice versa. You attract what you are.

I hate MIND GAMES. Once a woman tries to play it with me... I drop her like it's hot... I like my woman real, I like to see her flaws, to witness her tears, her desperation, her sadness, her weakness, her strength, her glory, her passion, her fears, her anger, her dreams. I want to know HER. I want to fall love with her soul. for who she is, I hate facades, the use of games to hide intention. I understand no one wants to feel hurt and therefore tries to guard their heart but I tell you today, been vulnerable is not a sign of weakness but of strength.

Been the first person to say I love you, to Care, to go the Extra mile, to say I Want you, to Call, to say how you really feel, is empowereing, It will make you stronger and can help strengthen your relationship..

Watch this ted talk, I think it will change the way you perceive relationships. ( http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html )
It is called The power of vulnerability .

#Matthew briggs the fire... #thinks out loud
Re: Nairaland’s Singles And Married e-Summit {Season 2 - DONE} by Homguy(m): 11:32pm On Nov 17, 2013
For what its worth, sagamite's choice of words quite leaves alot to be desired, but he was SPOT ON. Most ladies would readily agree i think.
@ SEAGOD, i sincerely think anyone who needs a step-by-step manual on how to lead his relationship shouldnt be on this thread. The base level intelligence in here should require strictly IDEAs,which sagamite has dropped. Humans are dynamic, how you ADAPT ideas garnered here is best determined by the situations around your relationship which often varies widely. Hence, giving case studies are not as important the backbone ideas themselves.
@ VivianC, i concede you are a very good writer, cool headed, intelligent, composed ...but i know am not far from right to say your article solely advocates for female equality, not a bad thing though but the routes you gave are quite unwholesome for relationships to thrive! Especially,when you have to hew,haw, pretend and scheme to achieve it. I PUT IT TO YOU ,DO YOU DO ALL YOU ADVISED LADIES TO DO IN YOUR CURrENT RELATIONSHIP? Giving life building advice regarding relationships includes more than googling up several feministic lines and dressing them up. I noticed tinges of foreign concepts not applicable to the nigerian cultural setting too. Thanks for the effort tho.
Re: Nairaland’s Singles And Married e-Summit {Season 2 - DONE} by Adaeze003(f): 12:37am On Nov 18, 2013
Well I don't think its a good idea to have one person speak for the girls and another speak for the guys!

If a girl who does all that viv said/wrote meets a guy that does what saga said/wrote we all know that the relationship won't work. Why? Well on one side of the ring we have a lady who thinks she's more important and on the other a guy who thinks he is.

I know I'm not a speaker but I just have to say this, a relationship is not a freaken warfare! Its about the TWO people involved! None is the 'boss' of anyone(that's just childish). Its about two MATURE people coming together to make life more beautiful and complete and in my opinion, for it to work you just need to love the person.

Yea I know everyone says love is not enough but I don't mean that giddy feeling you get when you just start dating(that will definitly fade cheesy) I mean love the person enough to want to understand, tolerate and even compromise on what makes you happy for him/her as long as its reciprocated. Love is never one sided, if you don't feel like you're getting the same in return then the love isn't there. In other words, don't do all the loving!.

Well I know there's more(other technical/important details) but I hate to bore peeps with long articles. Still, I hope ya'll got my point. cheesy cheesy
Re: Nairaland’s Singles And Married e-Summit {Season 2 - DONE} by vivianc(f): 12:57am On Nov 18, 2013
.....
Re: Nairaland’s Singles And Married e-Summit {Season 2 - DONE} by vivianc(f): 1:01am On Nov 18, 2013
@Homguy: You are totally ignored. Why? This is not a gender bashing thread. You go on and on, yet, you haven't made a single reseanable point neither have you pointed any part of my posts and said, "Here, what do you mean by this and how would it sustain a relationship." Don't you think its a more intelligent approach?
Re: Nairaland’s Singles And Married e-Summit {Season 2 - DONE} by vivianc(f): 1:54am On Nov 18, 2013
Adaeze003: Well I don't think its a good idea to have one person speak for the girls and another speak for the guys!

If a girl who does all that viv said/wrote meets a guy that does what saga said/wrote we all know that the relationship won't work. Why? Well on one side of the ring we have a lady who thinks she's more important and on the other a guy who thinks he is.

I know I'm not a speaker but I just have to say this, a relationship is not a freaken warfare! Its about the TWO people involved! None is the 'boss' of anyone(that's just childish). Its about two MATURE people coming together to make life more beautiful and complete and in my opinion, for it to work you just need to love the person.

Yea I know everyone says love is not enough but I don't mean that giddy feeling you get when you just start dating(that will definitly fade cheesy) I mean love the person enough to want to understand, tolerate and even compromise on what makes you happy for him/her as long as its reciprocated. Love is never one sided, if you don't feel like you're getting the same in return then the love isn't there. In other words, don't do all the loving!.

Well I know there's more(other technical/important details) but I hate to bore peeps with long articles. Still, I hope ya'll got my point. cheesy cheesy

I like to think that at this level in my life I have gone beyond your post content, and so are most ladies I know, that is why I skipped this phase.

One more thing, the third paragraph of your post contradicts itself. On one hand you are preaching love the person, on the other hand you are preaching don't do all the loving.

You also went ahead to say love is not enough, but understanding, tolerance, etc. Which brings me to this question, "are tolerance, understanding, sacrifice, trust, patient, faithfulness, etc not subsets of love?"


If you follow God's definition of love (which is the most authentic btw), you would find out its ridiculous to say, "I love him but I can't make sacrifices for him or respect him." Don't you think its ridiculous too? Well, i'd like to say one gets to a certain point in life where alot of things would begin to make greater sense to one.


Alot of us know things about what you posted, and alot of us practice them, both in relationships and in marriages, but the bigger question is, "why are things not working out?" both in dating and marriages?

If a lady comes to you and say, "I love my bf so much but he is withdrawn, the spark has died on his part and he seems so distant like he doesn't wanna be with me anymore," what would your practical advice be? Would you say someone in this scenario has a complete relationship?

We have cases of seemingly perfect relationships hitting the rocks, why?

The above scenario is an example of what people face in relationships. Which is beyond the phase of what you posted.
Re: Nairaland’s Singles And Married e-Summit {Season 2 - DONE} by Idowuogbo(f): 1:59am On Nov 18, 2013
Hmmmmm...
Re: Nairaland’s Singles And Married e-Summit {Season 2 - DONE} by 190: 2:06am On Nov 18, 2013
smh!!
Re: Nairaland’s Singles And Married e-Summit {Season 2 - DONE} by 190: 2:06am On Nov 18, 2013
some people got all the time in their world

dont worry i wont call names grin grin grin grin
Re: Nairaland’s Singles And Married e-Summit {Season 2 - DONE} by Homguy(m): 3:07am On Nov 18, 2013
Adaeze003: Well I don't think its a good idea to have one person speak for the girls and another speak for the guys!

If a girl who does all that viv said/wrote meets a guy that does what saga said/wrote we all know that the relationship won't work. Why? Well on one side of the ring we have a lady who thinks she's more important and on the other a guy who thinks he is.

I know I'm not a speaker but I just have to say this, a relationship is not a freaken warfare! Its about the TWO people involved! None is the 'boss' of anyone(that's just childish). Its about two MATURE people coming together to make life more beautiful and complete and in my opinion, for it to work you just need to love the person.

Yea I know everyone says love is not enough but I don't mean that giddy feeling you get when you just start dating(that will definitly fade cheesy) I mean love the person enough to want to understand, tolerate and even compromise on what makes you happy for him/her as long as its reciprocated. Love is never one sided, if you don't feel like you're getting the same in return then the love isn't there. In other words, don't do all the loving!.

Well I know there's more(other technical/important details) but I hate to bore peeps with long articles. Still, I hope ya'll got my point. cheesy cheesy
couldnt be better said, lady. Bookmarked!
Re: Nairaland’s Singles And Married e-Summit {Season 2 - DONE} by vivianc(f): 3:25am On Nov 18, 2013
Let me give real life situations of what people face in relationship.

I called an ex of mine recently and asked him, "What really happened us, what did I do?"

His response was, "Nothing, you were really cool. But you loved me too much that you lost your self control and started chasing me. And you let me get away with so much crap and those things killed my interest."

Guess what? He was right! He would always tell me, "You love me too much, its choking me. Allow me to come for you, allow me to miss you." For years i classified him as a jerk until recently I realised he wasn't. I chased him away with my actions.

Another guy told me,"No matter how perfect a lady is and how much she loves me, once she starts chasing me my interest dies. I'd want her to love me but I want to do the chasing."

Another one who has been chasing me for years now told me something. I asked him,"why don't you wanna leave me and go find someone else?" His response was," The more you run and I chase you, the more excited I get."

3 of my female married friends said," The reason I married my husband was because he refused to go away, he was really crazy about me but I didn't feel the same. The man I was even busy chasing did not have time for me, he was busy chasing someone else."

My course mate's husband said, "The day I decided to marry Mary was the day she made me come to her house under the rain. I had to park my car and work down the bad road to her house while the rain beats me. I was used to girls chasing me but she was really different."

My lawyer said, "The reason I broke up with my last gf was she had no life outside me, no friends, nothing. Her life basical revolved around me. She wants me to babysit her all the time, gets lonely and mad when I leave her to hang out with my friends and cries over everything. I loved her tho but I felt choked."


My cousin sister said," Before I married my husband, I left him becos I wasn't crazy about him and started dating a guy I was crazy about. I would fly from Abj to Phc every weekend to be with him, cook, clean, do his laundry. I was always the one begging him or else we would keep malice for weeks. I was always crying. All my friends advised I should leave the guy but I was determined to make it work. One day, I brought up the "M" word, he told me I was desperate, that i was putting pressure on him. His statement hurt me so much that we got into a fight and he stopped talking to me, when I cooled off I went to him to apologise but he told me he needed space. I had to fly back to Abj. All this while I was killing myself for this guy, my husband was still chasing me. One day I finally made up my mind and married him and I have never regretted it since then."

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Re: Nairaland’s Singles And Married e-Summit {Season 2 - DONE} by vivianc(f): 4:01am On Nov 18, 2013
Then let me give movie examples.

In Mr.& Mrs. (which is a Nigerian movie based on real life story). When Mrs Abbah was being too nice and let her husband got away with so much crap, the man didn't appreciate it. He neglected her, abused her both emotionally, se..xually and physically. But when the wife stood up for herself, got herself a job and treated him as if she didn't love him, the table turned around. He realised how irreplacable his wife is.

This is what Mr. Kenneth Abbah told their divorce lawyer when she enquired why he threatened his wife with a divorce when he knows he still loves her. He replied, "I didn't think she would grant me the divorce. I only wanted to clip her wings, and make her beg. She usually does that, her life basically revolved me."

In Desperate housewive: When Susan Delfino heard that her husband goes to a strip club, she rushed home and nagged the husband about it. The husband looked at her as if she was crazy, nothing Susan said maid sense to him, instead he thought Susan was trying to control him. This is what he said," You cannot tell me what I can or cannot do! What kind of marriage is this? But when Susan decided to be a stripper since he loves watching them, he promised never to go to a strip club again.


Dolly Patron, when asked in an interview the secret of her successful marriage, she said,"Whenever I notice my husband get bored with me, I just give him space to miss me. I just pack my bag and go away for the weeked, and by the time I get back the sparks will be there again."

Etc.

1 Like

Re: Nairaland’s Singles And Married e-Summit {Season 2 - DONE} by Nobody: 7:54am On Nov 18, 2013
Re: Nairaland’s Singles And Married e-Summit {Season 2 - DONE} by Nobody: 7:59am On Nov 18, 2013
@homeguy, a lecture is suppose to be engaging, elaborating, concise, apt, descriptive, detailing with 'wisdom' drawn from experiences on such topic being considered for presentation. The 'lecturer' is also expected to research on his chosen presentation so that his lectures appears broaden and encompassing.

Who is a lecturer? A lecturer is one who teach his students what they don't know or better still how to improve. We all know what a relationship is, we are all involve in one and we all read ''romance'' books to keep relationship working yet did that stop Governor (Barrister) Chime's wife from running away from her matrimonial home? Imagine, a whole governor can't sustain a relationship and by your definition he should know what a relationship is!

You saying I shouldn't be here cos I requested guide from 'experiences' of speakers is a defeatist ideology. I can't subscribe to that analogy. Gov. Rochas Okorocha last month delivered a lecture at the university of Nigeria, Nsukka on the : Role of leadership and accountability. What did he do, he taught the professors, lecturers, students, distinguished guests on that topic with detailed emphasises drawn from experiences and research. He got applauded all the time.
Do you mean the professors and university lecturers shouldn't be there because they are all authority in the academic parlance?

@VivianC, I can see you are doing the needful lately. Congratulations!
Re: Nairaland’s Singles And Married e-Summit {Season 2 - DONE} by Homguy(m): 8:38am On Nov 18, 2013
@ SEAGOLD, I meant no insult whatsoever to your person. Apologies. I didnt totally rule out the importance of analogies,real-life examples and personal experiences in sagamite's lecture but you will agree with me the main idea/reason behind every action taken is much more important than that action itself. Imagine sagamite loading us with scenarios,experiences e.t.c without the main idea behind those actions he or others took. When faced with a different scenario rooted in the same idea,a lot of readers may find it hard to deal with them.
There's a reason most academic lecturers teach basic ideas in the tertiaries and encourage you to research applications of those ideas. Such a method develops your innate reasoning ability to solve problems,as opposed to being spoon-fed.
To wrap up, i do concede that sagamite's article would have been more rounded with real life applications,sketches and experiences of his ideas.

@ VIVIANc: Intresting examples you have got there. From your last post, the king poles,i believe are;
1. Too much of anything is bad.

2. Get your own life independent of your partner

Now, there are better ways to pass those THOUGHTs across without sounding fiendish. Nice week, pips
Re: Nairaland’s Singles And Married e-Summit {Season 2 - DONE} by Adaeze003(f): 9:50am On Nov 18, 2013
vivianc:

I like to think that at this level in my life I have gone beyond your post content, and so are most ladies I know, that is why I skipped this phase.

One more thing, the third paragraph of your post contradicts itself. On one hand you are preaching love the person, on the other hand you are preaching don't do all the loving.

You also went ahead to say love is not enough, but understanding, tolerance, etc. Which brings me to this question, "are tolerance, understanding, sacrifice, trust, patient, faithfulness, etc not subsets of love?"


If you follow God's definition of love (which is the most authentic btw), you would find out its ridiculous to say, "I love him but I can't make sacrifices for him or respect him." Don't you think its ridiculous too? Well, i'd like to say one gets to a certain point in life where alot of things would begin to make greater sense to one.


Alot of us know things about what you posted, and alot of us practice them, both in relationships and in marriages, but the bigger question is, "why are things not working out?" both in dating and marriages?

If a lady comes to you and say, "I love my bf so much but he is withdrawn, the spark has died on his part and he seems so distant like he doesn't wanna be with me anymore," what would your practical advice be? Would you say someone in this scenario has a complete relationship?

We have cases of seemingly perfect relationships hitting the rocks, why?

The above scenario is an example of what people face in relationships. Which is beyond the phase of what you posted.

Lol... Dearie you don't understand my post at all pls read again we're almost saying the same thing(in this post). I didn't seperate love from tolerance and so on. And when I said don't do all the loving I meant a relationship should not be one sided. Don't know what you consider wrong in this statement or should one party love while the other receives all the loving without giving back? Hmm. There's really no argument here.

And for going beyond 'this' stage my dear its the little things that count now and even in a marriage not a thousand rules. Not saying your posts are invalid but for how long can one keep up all that? And can you pls fit a guy into your posts? As in how it'll work out(after all a relationship is about two people). There's allot more to a relationship like I said but I'll leave the floor for ya'll speakers. smiley
Re: Nairaland’s Singles And Married e-Summit {Season 2 - DONE} by Adaeze003(f): 10:17am On Nov 18, 2013
@viv

So your gal pals settled? That's normal na, gals settle because the clock is ticking and all that. Not that its bad o! If they can stay happy then that's great. And its common knowledge that guys don't like it when you come on too strong(it appears desperate). Like I said, your posts are not invalid just too much. Loved your first and second posts anyway. You did well(better than mr sag anyway) I agree with most of what you wrote I must say but its just one sided plus people differ, what works for nkem might not work for ada. Anyway, you're just one person so I can't expect you to know all. smiley
Re: Nairaland’s Singles And Married e-Summit {Season 2 - DONE} by vivianc(f): 11:14am On Nov 18, 2013
@Adaeze: I don't know how to say this but if you still believe a woman's biological clock ticks, you shouldn't be here.

Then unto other things, would you love a man if you are not absolutely sure he loves you? Do you give your all on a platter of gold without a man earning it? If you do, good for you!

God as our creator loved us first. Isaac in the bible worked for 14yrs free of charge just to prove his love for his wife. From Genesis to Revelation, there is no where God commanded women to love their husbands, nah, that commandment was given to men. Infact, there was a punishment God attached to this command if any man defaults, he said his blessing won't be available for that man. He commanded women to reciprocate and submit, why? Because he knew women would be abused the other way round.

There was no where in my posts that I said women should act as if they are more important, no, I said women should love themselves first, then allow the men to love them before they give their all.

So if you don't consider worthy enough to be fought, honestly that's ur biz.

1 Like

Re: Nairaland’s Singles And Married e-Summit {Season 2 - DONE} by vivianc(f): 11:36am On Nov 18, 2013
@Seagold: Yes! I said you shouldn't be here cos if all you could deduce from my posts is gender equality, then you don't the capacity to understand my posts.

Ok, i'm come down to the level you understand.

When I said women shouldn't cook 5 course meal for men in the beginning of the relationship. I didn't in no way suggest that they should forego cooking entirely, or ask the men to do the cooking.

Why did I say so?

I have brothers and single uncles, whenever i'm around cooking, cleaning and doing their laundry, they go into the core bachelor mood. But the moment I stopped doing all those things and they started doing them themselves, i'd start hearing, "nna menh, I need a wife!" My immediate younger brother is who not even upto 25yrs said to me, "Adanne, i'm getting married next year, I can't continue like this."

Now, let's substitute this equation in a relationship: If a woman is always around a man who has not even committed to her yet, talk more of marriage, and she cleans, cooks, does laundry and have s...ex with him, what do you think would happen? The man is simply eating his cake and having it, he is enjoying the full benefit of marriage anyway, so what's the rush?


So I ask you, where did gender equality come in? Kindly point that out.
Re: Nairaland’s Singles And Married e-Summit {Season 2 - DONE} by Adaeze003(f): 11:40am On Nov 18, 2013
Don't know why you are trying to make this about me with the whole 'good for you' talk. One thing I hate is people taking jabs @ my person from what I post here. Not cool! Plus we aint fighting(atleast so I thought). You have your opinion and I have mine.

And uhm... The whole biological clock thing is a figure of speech and yes, its ticking for every woman unless she doesn't want kids/healthy kids.
Re: Nairaland’s Singles And Married e-Summit {Season 2 - DONE} by vivianc(f): 11:50am On Nov 18, 2013
@Homguy: You are still a kid my dear. You attacked me when I said women should be in control of themselves, but jumped up in joy when sagamite said men should control women.

You freaked out when I said women should give their all to a man that has earned it, but jumped up in joy when Sagamite said women should work hard to earn a man's love and attention.

You freaked when I said women shouldn't compete with any exes or a girl in the office, give men ultimatums, or try to manipulate them by flirting with other men, but you jumped up when sagamite said men should make themselves challenge to women, and make them know their are other women somewhere, that would clip their wings. He also said you should stop when women lose their bargaining power.

grin grin grin oh boy! You are one hell of a kid.
Re: Nairaland’s Singles And Married e-Summit {Season 2 - DONE} by Nobody: 11:56am On Nov 18, 2013
@Vivian, I want to help out out and present this topic the way it should be but my lengthy responses keep disappearing, I don't know whygrin and its frustrating!



Please follow my summission till I am done. I am approaching it in gradual phase cos I am losing data
Re: Nairaland’s Singles And Married e-Summit {Season 2 - DONE} by Odunharry(m): 12:10pm On Nov 18, 2013
Vivian C nice one dear.....
I like da part u gave illustration which i will like many ladies subscribe to..it better they stay with a man that love them,..though many ladies will prefer a guy they love ova a guy who s ready to do anytng 4 dm..

Cntinue with ur lecture..BTW where is DX?
Re: Nairaland’s Singles And Married e-Summit {Season 2 - DONE} by Nobody: 12:18pm On Nov 18, 2013
I think I don't need to criticise without doing the "needful" so I'm going to address this discourse the way I think It should go.

"TOWARDS A COMPLETE RELATIONSHIP"

Relationship is the coming together of two or more persons to work on their differences in other to achieve a certain outcome/objective beneficial to the parties involved. But I will divulge on emotional relationship which is our main focus involving two adults with different perspective towards live, orientation and background getting together to 'work' on their inadequacies in other to satisfy their 'common' objectives.

Relationship is work and not a fantasy. Marital bliss to my idea is not 'frivolous entertainment' , unrestricted access to social commitments, nor a wonderland. For couples to sustain a relationship, a lot of work, sacrifice and commitment is expected.

We must understand that relationship involve the male and female gender at least in our typical African society. A man has a set orientation and upbringing while growing up while a woman also approaches life in another dimension. I think to form a cohesion, stability, understanding in relationship, we must sacrifice, let go of certain characteristics to make it 'work'. Relationship is not a 'contentious' hegemony, it is the ability of condescending in order to achieve results. In other words, we need to know that we are not perfect, but trying to attain perfection building on ones 'shortcomings' and inadequacies. ''your weakness is our strength"

First and foremost, before a man and woman comes together in a relationship, their is always an attraction involved. The woman has accepted HIM out of millions to be with him while the man has also made up his mind to SETTLE with her afterall she is not the most intelligent, beautiful or smart but the attraction is encouraged. It is also that same likeness that enables the lady to allow the man into her HONEYPOT unrestricted! So, in essence this two individual already knew the are coming into this 'union' as imperfect being willing and ready to do the needful.

The bible stated that God created Eve for Adam not with variety of choice. The happenings in the Garden of Eden was what God used to demonstrate to Adam and his later offspring(we) that he never created a perfect woman. God has expected us to work out our imperfections and live happily. I don't subscribe to divorce, I encourage work. Divorce to our tradition and culture is alien to us, I still wonder how our cultural heritage passed down from our fore fathers is in concord with biblical tenets and principle when even Christianity visited us yesterday.

So when a man and a woman comes together, we expect them to be happy. There would always be contentious issues, teething problems, imbalances, et all but how they are able to overcome this inevitable scenerios is our concern today. The ability of them 'working' to overcome is aptly necessary so that such attitude, principle can be passed down to their generation and when society sees them, we naturally become jealous and says they are happy and we are always ever ready to unlock the magic wand that held them tight. So I will be dwelling on those 'magic' I have been privilege to unlock. grin

1 Like

Re: Nairaland’s Singles And Married e-Summit {Season 2 - DONE} by Nobody: 12:29pm On Nov 18, 2013
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Re: Nairaland’s Singles And Married e-Summit {Season 2 - DONE} by Nobody: 1:05pm On Nov 18, 2013
(2) The success of every relationship is the end result and not how many you 'dropped' as though it is hot. That's to imbibe failure over and over again.

Before you get committed in your relationship, have you studied each other so well, do you share same vision and aspirations, is he/she as intelligent as you desired, what their I.Q level,is your disposition in tandem, how about temperament, religious belief etc. Most of the point including others unlisted should be critically examined before you commit into any form of relationship. If you think you can cope, then the turbulence afterwards should embolden you to navigate and stabilise.

Completeness in relationship is when your partner is happy. We need to work on the overall satisfaction of our mates. When you partner is happy, evidently you are happy also. But is that it, completeness in relationship is when your children is fully trained, when both of you could jointly put a roof over your head, when there are guarantee social security, when respect is mutual, when love is reciprocated and when everyone live under the same roof irrespective of myriad problems that is inevitable.

In relationship, a woman has a whole lot of roles to play. In essence, truth be told that's her primary constituency. Women are naturally the manager of homes. They are the keepers of home and when things goes wrong, a woman should be held responsible for abandoning responsibility. A man should also understand that he married a helpmate, the suppose mother of his children and the sole provider of his 'flesh' food. He should love, adore and cherish her. Protection, and provision mustn't exclude her. Men don't break 'home' women do or ohh at least the vow. Remember, we mustn't be mad at the same time, and we must always eschew forgiving for tranquillity to prevail

Now I will dwell on RESPECT, UNDERSTANDING and TOLERANCE, the three cardinal points I suppose will entrenched a COMPLETE relationship...

Stay gluegrin
Re: Nairaland’s Singles And Married e-Summit {Season 2 - DONE} by Homguy(m): 3:54pm On Nov 18, 2013
vivianc:

you can keep taking all the cheap swipes you want at everybody. Just shows you are really a grownup as u insinuated! Dx, nice concept but this choice of speaker?!
SeaGold:
Some enlightening posts you have got up there!

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