,
I’ve considered writing something to you that
you’d actually see for a very long time.
However, none of the things I would actually
say in an actual letter would probably do either
of us any good.
You see, I’m very angry with you. I wouldn’t say
I hate you because some deep place in me still
values the years of friendship you gave me.
And the long talks we had. The few dates we
went on. The reality is that I gave you a part of
me and if I hate you, I’d also be hating myself. I
would say that a lot of this is just misplaced
anger, but it’s also really not.
There is a big part of me that wants to hurt you
as much as you hurt me when you told me that
you regretted taking my virginity. Frankly, I
angrily sat there as you told me about all these
girls you were seeing and how shitty the dates
went. And I was happy with your misery. I saw
it as karma biting you in the ass.
I hope you know how much your words hurt
me. I don’t think you’ll ever fully understand the
deep emotional gash you put into my soul. You
concreted all those people saying I wasn’t
good enough and added a mark of your own.
Years later, I still have a hard time believing my
loving boyfriend when he says he loves me and
that he won’t do exactly what you did. I still
can’t talk about a guy with your same name
without getting angry. I still cry when I think
about what you said and I think it will always
have that affect on me.
Truthfully, you are basically the essence of an
asshole. You talked to me when you were
bored. You went out with me when it was
convenient. You used me. You used me in a
way that no one should use someone. You
knew damn well who I was when you decided
to take me up to your bedroom that day.
Maybe you were thinking with your dick. But the
reality is that you’re pretty fucking awful in bed.
In fact, I think I can safely say… you are the
worst. You’re pretty much the reason why I
KNOW that size means nothing.
Frankly, I trusted you. I trusted you with my
body and I also trusted you with my feelings.
You never had my heart. I didn’t love you. I
didn’t sleep with you because I did. I let you
have my virginity because I trusted you. And
you betrayed my trust. Sometimes I wonder
why our friendship always seemed broken after
we slept together. You thought I was in love
with you. I wasn’t. I would never say I loved
you. I’m not really sure what I was looking for
at the time. I was pretty damn naive and I
admit that. But I still damn well know that you
did me wrong. The second you told me you
regretted sleeping with me… I know you did me
wrong. Except you like to forget that you said
that to me. I never will. And I don’t think I can
ever forgive those words regardless of if you
meant them or not.
I guess the point to this entire letter was just for
you to know. I’ve never really told you how
angry I was or how much I cried over all of this.
I kept it inside. Maybe I let it slip once or twice,
but I don’t think you fully can ever understand
the deep impact all of this has had on me. Not
only does it hang in my past, it also slipped
into my future. I always hoped that one day I’d
“get over it” and find a way to move along. But
that’s easier said than done. The reality is that
it is going to be something I’m going to have to
carry with me for the rest of my life. Anytime
someone asks me about losing my virginity,
I’m going to get upset. It’s always going to be
a sore spot.
It would be easy to just send you this really
angry email or facebook message out of the
blue, but I really don’t see a point. I’m angry
with you and I pretty much always will be. It
seems pretty bold to say something like that,
but let me explain. When I let you take my
virginity, it was a huge deal for me. It’ll be
something I’ll remember for the rest of my life. I
waited for as long as I did because I wanted it
to be right. I didn’t want to be pressured into it
like I almost was at 16. I wanted to do it
because I wanted to do it. If you’d never told
me that you regretted it… I would have gone on
the rest of my life being perfectly fine with my
choice. We wouldn’t have strained our
friendship. You see, the second those words
spilled out of your mouth… you made me regret
it. You became that asshole who took my
virginity. Now I’m forced to look back on it
almost as a mistake. Like something I should
be ashamed of…
I damn well should not be ashamed of having
sex. No one should. No one should be ashamed
because they chose to have sex. And you
making me feel bad for having sex with you,
that was probably the worst thing you could
have done. I know you think you were doing the
right thing by pushing me away after so I
wouldn’t fall in love with you or something. But
the reality is that I knew you couldn’t give me
what I wanted. I wanted to date and pursue a
relationship and I understood you didn’t. All I
wanted after was for things to go back to
normal. To not feel like less of a person. I
wanted to feel the same way I felt before.
Comfortable around you. I was fine with being
your friend. That was the least you could have
done. Was be my friend. But obviously that was
too hard for you.
All I ended up feeling after was not good
enough. I was good enough to have sex with at
the time, but GOD forbid I was good enough to
be friends with still. You ended up making a
huge mistake. And I’m pretty sure it was on the
advice of a friend. You probably shouldn’t listen
to that person for advice, by the way.
The reality is that I’m not in a place where I
regret having sex with you and letting you take
my virginity. I regret how things went after. I
regret not being more apparent with my future
plans. You didn’t love me. And I don’t love you
and I never have. I cared about you. A lot.
Maybe a small part of me still does. But I’m
always going to be bitter about how you made
me feel. Actions like that have an everlasting
effect on a person and their future
relationships. And all you did was add to my
insecurity.
Now I know I don’t have a time turner and I
can’t go back. Or even try to venture to fix any
of this because the damage is already done.
I’m just writing this to let myself know that I
really didn’t do anything wrong. Having sex
with you was just in my life path. And if I try to
change that I potentially change my future and
my present.
Frankly, I also just want you to realize how
much of an asshole you are. I hope you learned
something from this and never ever put another
girl what you put me through. I know damn well
you won’t ever be able to fix things between us
and frankly, you don’t deserve to even be given
the chance. Just be careful in the future
because words are so so powerful. Just think
before you speak and be careful who you take
your advice from… they’re probably steering
you wrong.

So who are you addressing the letter to?

Bla bla bla. Crap.

*sniffs*

Vivly: So who are you addressing the letter to?

Lol it's just a letter I saw a girl sent to her bf probably Andy blaze

Starbank: Lol it's just a letter I saw a girl sent to her bf probably Andy blaze

You saw a girl send a letter to her bf?

Starbank: Lol it's just a letter I saw a girl sent to her bf probably Andy blaze

Is Your name Linus Uba?

Blah blah blah, story of her life -_- sex is full of ups and downs...literally..maybe he didn't like the fact that u were a screamer