Hey ladies,I opened this thread specifically for you... For us all. I have been reading too many sob stories on the internet and its getting really tiring and annoying when I see women both young and old falling for the same traps and getting messed up every time!

Now, I'm no love guru but I am a woman who has been able to learn, study and understand what it takes to be in and have a healthy relationship. So any of you mature folk that has anything to add or to disagree with is very welcome.

Here are some tips I want to share with you lot. Note: Please they are not rules, they are tips from my own personal thoughts.

TIP ONE: Know what you want. This is because when you know what, you will refuse to settle for less. You will refuse to be a push over and you will definitely be able to hold your own. Know what you want in a guy, know what you want out of a relationship and if you are currently in one, know why you are in it and if these reasons don't make sense then get the heck out!

TIP TWO: Sex doesn't equal Love.God has created men in such a way that they don't necessarily have to be in love with you to sleep with you ( ask prostitutes for verification). They'll sleep with you whether they love you or not so never you think you can win a man's love through sex. It is a lie from hell. Respect your body, Own it! If he wants the cookie, let him buy the jar. Its as simple as that. If he cannot wait for you or marry you, let him take a long walk. If he doesn't love you, he doesn't love you...move on! Don't start having sex with him. If you're in a relationship where all he wants from you is sex, sex and sex..please leave that guy! He doesn't love you babe.

TIP THREE: If he is cheating on you, please kindly show him the door. As in hold the door open for him to walk the hell out! This is the mistake many women make. You are dating a guy that is always cheating on you with every chance he gets and you kid yourself with the fact that since you are the main chick there is no problem. Actually madam, there is a problem! For starters how do you even know you are the main chick? Even if you are, a guy who cheats doesn't respect you and if you keep staying, some day he'll bring one disease for both of you to share. Please leave. Now this is my opinion.. Some ladies stay with these kind of guys and openly claim they are 'happy' because according to them he finally 'changes'. Well then that's your decision to make. Do it at your own detriment or success. Goodluck with that though.

TIP FOUR: Stop blessing your boyfriend with money everytime. Now hey, I'm not saying don't help out every now and then but paying his car loans, paying half of his rent, giving him huge amounts of money for projects is a big fat NO-NO!! Stop it, stop it, stop it!!!!! I have heard stories from girls of how they gave their boyfriends money and when they eventually break up, these girls start lamenting.You are not his bank or his wife. Why should you keep spending on a guy like that? Stop it if you are doing it! Once in a while get him a nice gift, take him out..surprise him with maybe a game cd he had been planning to buy but no don't go all out!! You may say "oh no girl,I'm the giving type, I just love giving, oh its just how I show love" I can understand that but please use wisdom and discretion when being a giving type. You can show him some love without unnecesary cash spending.

TIP FIVE: Don't be a Lord of the rings. If he puts an engagement ring on you, biko you guys should start talking wedding highest highest in a year's time. Don't start strutting around like a peacock with an engagement ring for the next 100 years. With no offence to Toke, please learn from her own story. If he isn't ready to marry you in the next one year tops then he shouldn't put an engagement ring on your pretty little finger. This is because by wearing that ring, every self respecting seriously searching guy will see you as unavailable and mark you off as someone's property. So be wise!

TIP SIX: if he is physically or emotionally abusing you, are waiting for your death to be on Linda Ikeji's blog before you let go? God forbid! If that guy is abusing you, please I beg you in the name of all that is dear to you, drop him like hot akara and tear race that'll make even bolt blush! Please! He will not change, things will not get better, marriage will not change him.. Those are all lies! Leave that guy NOW!!! You are strong woman, you need a man that can compliment your strength not pull you down.

TIP SEVEN: Stop telling your friends everything about your relationship. A lot of good relationships have crashed because of this issue. As girls we always love to gist..tell our friends about that designer bag our boo surprised us with or the lovely gifts he gave you as a birthday gift or how generous and kind he is bla bla bla... You should know when to draw the line. I'm not saying don't gist with your friends but be smart about it. When you and le boo have a resolvable issue, work it out together. Stop crying to your friends. Just stop it. You can discuss it with an elderly and more experienced woman that you trust and respect or even your mum if you guys are pretty close. I'm not saying all friends are out to steal your man, that's not what I'm saying but unfortunately, we can not see what is inside the hearts and minds of people that we love so please protect yourself and your relationship. Stop revealing too much info.

TIP EIGHT: Develop your character. Beauty isn't everything. I have met a lot of facially beautiful ladies who even I as a lady admired but when I got to know them, I was appalled to say the least. Any woman of character is a beautiful woman and every man wants a woman wit a good character. Learn to smile. Look neat and decent. Be respectful and polite to everyone you meet whether young or old. Don't just be nice only when its an attractive looking guy involved. Be nice to everyone. Have an approachable demeanor. Stop frowning as if you just finished fighting war. Smile and be happy! A lot of people have met their spouses through that elderly woman that they were so wonderful to who thought "wow my son should meet this amazing young lady" or through that little boy who kept telling his uncle about how kind and sweet his teacher is and the guy just couldnt to meet you. Or even by observation..that guy that watched you handle a situation with character and tact. You never know my people. You never know. Now I'm not saying be nice with a hidden agenda o...because you want to marry,that's not what I'm saying mbok. I'm saying develop a lovely character and be kind to all.

TIP NINE: Have something you are doing. Stop depending on your man for money for even ordinary pad. He is not your father. Get busy. Get something doing. What are you bringing to the table? Don't be a liablity. Be an asset. Be independent. An independent woman is an attractive woman. I had a friend who was selling cakes while on campus so being a student is not an excuse to be dependent on a guy.

TIP TEN: Don't be afraid to be single. My friend once said "I'm single but I'm not lonely". Learn to be happy in your own company. Learn to love yourself and be fufilled with or without a man. With this type of atmosphere, you won't be in such a haste that you'll jump into a meaningless and toxic relationship. You'll be able to shine your eyes and look wella before leaping. Even if you are in a relationship, go out with your friends, travel, have fun. Don't be too clingy and dependent on your guy for your happiness. Live your life o jare. Self love and self fufilment is very important.

Tip ELEVEN: Ask questions. If you are in a relationship.. Ask important questions that may affect you guys before you jump into marriage. Don't let the love shack you to the extent that you won't ask the necessary questions. Then you guys will get married and nobody will hear word again. Ask questions now and reach and agreement now or keep silent forever when you get married.

TIP TWELVE: This is the last and most important tip of all. Now,I don't know about you but I believe in Jesus Christ. So dear ladies, my golden advise is please seek God first. With him is the most important relationship you'll ever have or need.



Happy New Year and Goodluck

If all ladies abide by your 'tips' don't you think lesbianism will be on the increase and the 'world of relationship' will be in shambles?

Best bet, do unto your man what you want him to do unto you.

Really? And may I ask what is so impossible about my tips that will make a lady opt for lesbianism instead?

Nice writeup...Love the tips

Thanks misskeri!

Write from 2day to tomorrow.. they will still do it.
Women are vulnerable and too emotional..
A woman will tell u today that Men are dogs, I won't date men again, 2mao she will say When I love my boo.. women are structured like that and no matter what most women will still fall into this traps..

the major thing is for them to find d right guy who loves them.. don't rush into anything, don't rush into sex, don't rush into marriage if u don't love him or if u know he is violent. some gals even have this believe that a woman beater can change! pls if he beats u, leave that relationship immediately! a man who beats a woman will never change.. no sensible man will raise his hands on a woman.
Well women as she has said know what you want.

Your tip number 3. Make me sef reverse am for guys. Guys if she want ur cash, make she open leg or if she say no openin of leg till after marriage, u sef follow tell her say no spending of cash till after marriage.

Girls get this mentality say boy must to dey buy things for them, say that one show say d guy love them. Hw una take dey show say una love d guy?.