Please I need your opinion on something that is keeping me up at night. I met my boyfriend in November 2010 and after only four months of dating he proposed to me on Valentine's Day in 2011. I was really excited and believed he didn't want to waste time and was eager to marry me. But it's going to three years now since we got engaged and he hasn't said anything about a wedding. Every time I mention it he tells me I'm acting desperate that I should calm down that if he didn't want to marry me he would not have given me a ring. We are both over 30 so I don't understand the delay. What bothers me most is that he's not even talking about it. I suggested we get married the last week of December 2013 so we can begin a new life in 2014 but he said he will let me know when he's ready. Should I give him an ultimatum or just be patient?

NB: This question was asked by a lindaikeji member. so i bring it here Nairaland for your contribution.

source:http://www.lindaikeji..com/

The point here should be ''After wedding, what next?''. Its not about your getting married that matters but how prepared you are to face what comes after wedding.

Your man may be having some financial issues, more like ''Psycho-financial issues'' as I termed it . Maybe he is going through some family responsibility pressure.

Y engage d lady in d first place wen he knws he wasn't ready to marry soonest? if he was trying to use dat and scare off oda guys frm d lady, den i tink dats selfishness............havin said dis, d decision is ultimately d lady's to make.

shegxi: Y engage d lady in d first place wen he knws he wasn't ready to marry soonest? if he was trying to use dat and scare off oda guys frm d lady, den i tink dats selfishness............havin said dis, d decision is ultimately d lady's to make.

Well said.

shegxi: Y engage d lady in d first place wen he knws he wasn't ready to marry soonest? if he was trying to use dat and scare off oda guys frm d lady, den i tink dats selfishness............havin said dis, d decision is ultimately d lady's to make.

just what i was about saying

I have experienced this before early last yr and I kinda draw the guys attention to it but nothing made sense instead he looked at me like a desperado.. oh well! When I cldnt take it anymore I called it off and he was surprised about the fact that I could do that. And at the same time his reaction made me believe he's not so into it. As at the last day of 2013 he's still banging on my phone, asking for us to meet up and all that... I am at that point where I really cant be bothered and the truth is am done with it. If he took me for granted before he will do it again so why put myself thru the emotional trauma. WISDOM is so needed for situations like this. what works for me may not work for you. Follow ur heart lady but the truth is the guy no ready!

A funny reply on linda ikeji blog goes like this: Engagement is when you propose to a girl you are soon going to marry. Proposing to a girl to scare away guys for some years is WITCHCRAFT

the thing with marriage and age with ladies is really becoming an issue.
I know that the decision to get married is not something u joke abt.
Btw,is the lady in question desperate because she feels she is geting old or because she feels her friends are getin married so she shld?
She shld just sit her ass down and not jump into making wrong decisions that she will later regret

Some guys use d notion of proposing to have free access to sex, and some gals has been brainwash that proposin means marriage. Guys are very deceitful.

psalm68: the thing with marriage and age with ladies is really becoming an issue.
I know that the decision to get married is not something u joke abt.
Btw,is the lady in question desperate because she feels she is geting old or because she feels her friends are getin married so she shld?
She shld just sit her ass down and not jump into making wrong decisions that she will later regret

my guy, gettin old or nt, her freinds gettin married or nt, 3yrs of engagement is too much, dats d mata here.

Av u eva heard of a ten year courtship dat didn't lead 2 marriage,even if d guy proposed!wat i wud advice d lady in question here 2 do is dat she sud sit ha man down and av a crious talk with im,don't mind waheva he says,he jst ask im where u stand in hez life,are u jst a gf or d mother of hez kids...i guess hez response sud let ha knw d next step 2 take.

shegxi: my guy, gettin old or nt, her freinds gettin married or nt, 3yrs of engagement is too much, dats d mata here.

dont get me wrong.3yrs or watever doesnt in anyway suggest she is wasting her time or not.i simply said she shld sit herself down,think abt her life and make decision without any pressure.datzall

Ermm sobwhat

abdulkayus: Some guys use d notion of proposing to have free access to sex, and some gals has been brainwash that proposin means marriage. Guys are very deceitful.

So what does it mean when a guy propose to a lady o? I believe and know that when a guy gives a lady a ring they say "will you marry me" or will you be my wife" I never heard of can I engage you for donkey years.. so bro explain urself better

abdulkayus: Some guys use d notion of proposing to have free access to sex, and some gals has been brainwash that proposin means marriage. Guys are very deceitful.

I keep telling guys, don't engage a lady when you are not ready to get married @least 6months after proposing. Is that so difficult?

I wonder how girls allow themselves to be fooled for so long. You are way above 30 and if you still love him just be patient with him because @ your age you might have very little guys coming to ask your hand in marriage.

Ok! Please take this advice as it has worked perfectly for many ppl. Sell the engagement/enchantment ring to any dealer, use the income U realise to prepare a very delicious meal(LAST SUPPER) for both of U, after the meal, explain the source and dump his sorry bottom remember the saying that "It is better late than never" in Terry G's voice *TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT*!!!

Cheii! So dis is the new tactics ehn!
OP thanks 4 sharing, now I know wat to watch out for!

Having read ur story @op... The answer to ur question is this....

Yes, you are wasting ur time

khadupsie: So what does it mean when a guy propose to a lady o? I believe and know that when a guy gives a lady a ring they say "will you marry me" or will you be my wife" I never heard of can I engage you for donkey years.. so bro explain urself better

wat i means is that proposin does nt mean marriage. Have u nt seen where there is propose and engagement and marriage didnt later take place. Wen a guy propose, dont allow him access to ur kitty until after marriage. Many guys use dis proposin as a covert operation to have access to d gal under g.

abdulkayus: A funny reply on linda ikeji blog goes like this: Engagement is when you propose to a girl you are soon going to marry. Proposing to a girl to scare away guys for some years is WITCHCRAFT

Kool! Then you shldnt have generalised it like that. Not all engagements leads to marriage is Simple enough

abdulkayus:

wat i means is that proposin does nt mean marriage. Have u nt seen where there is propose and engagement and marriage didnt later take place. Wen a guy propose, dont allow him access to ur kitty until after marriage. Many guys use dis proposin as a covert operation to have access to d gal under g.

Y should a guy engaged a lady for 3years ! It is wickedness after having sex with the lady next thing he will quit.I don't believe in long courtship .it is possible that d man has some1 already just using u to warm the bed .some1 said d lady is desperate !oga u re totally wrong most guys use d bait of engagement to see the underwear of ladies ! Engaged the guy in heart to heart talk mayb he has financial problem because this days wedding and TM no b beans especially in some part of Nigeria where bride price cost die ;DY should a guy engaged a lady for 3years ! It is wickedness after having sex with the lady next thing he will quit.I don't believe in long courtship .it is possible that d man has some1 already just using u to warm the bed .some1 said d lady is desperate !oga u re totally wrong most guys use d bait of engagement to see the underwear of ladies ! Engaged the guy in heart to heart talk mayb he has financial problem because this days wedding and TM no b beans especially in some part of Nigeria where bride price cost die

fruityjojo: Cheii! So dis is the new tactics ehn!
OP thanks 4 sharing, now I know wat to watch out for!

U got a nice kissable lips

What happens @ lindaikeji, stays at lindaikeji!!!! Stop bugging us with anonymous problems.



But if its yours, I'd put in a word of advice.

Best reply yet...a subtle attempt to shift traffc from here to madame ikejiz blog

Mazi_Omenuko: What happens @ lindaikeji, stays at lindaikeji!!!! Stop bugging us with anonymous problems.



But if its yours, I'd put in a word of advice.

Womanitarian: U got a nice kissable lips

Hmmm Womanitarian as in Vegetarian? So guessing u eat women! Dead or Alive! Abeg carry ur diet to another.

Nawa oh!
So it means even wen a man engages you,you shud still kip ur options open?

fruityjojo:
Hmmm Womanitarian as in Vegetarian? So guessing u eat women! Dead or Alive! Abeg carry ur diet to another.

If that ring is a gold better sell it and free urself from bondage, if he ask u tell him ur looking for it. Keep searching for a serious one.