1. Listen:
That’s right; when she speaks, she usually
has something to tell you. You might learn
something about the single most important
person in your life. Crazy, I know. Ask
yourself right now: what’s her favorite color,
her shoe size, what does she like least about
her body, what household chore does she
despise, paper or plastic? You should know
this stuff. She tells you all the time. You just
aren’t listening.
When she starts talking about tennis bracelets
in November, she’s trying to help you with
your Christmas shopping, Einstein.
If you actually start listening to her, she will
be so dumbfounded that she’ll say “yes” to
s*x just to see if you’re still listening.
2. Don’t ask don’t tell:
Everybody likes to be surprised and
pampered. What if just once in a while, you,
without your wife’s consent or assistance,
arranged for a babysitter, picked her up at
work and took her out to dinner?
Now she’s stunned. Her defenses are down.
It’s likely you’re getting laid.
3. If you use it, put it up. If you drop it, pick it
up. If you spill it, clean it up:
She’s not your Momma. And, hopefully, your
Momma taught you better.
Clean up after yourself for God’s sake.
Trust me; there is little your wife finds less
sexy than picking your dirty tidy whiteys up
off the bathroom floor. I can say with great
confidence that this is almost universally true
for all women.
Your wife is now confused. She’ll wander all
about the house wondering what you’ve done
with all the messes. When she looks in the
bedroom; now you’ve got her.
4. Bite your tongue (or, “No, those pants do
not make you look fat”):
Nobody likes constant criticism, especially if
it’s from the person they’d most like to please
(that’s probably you). If you continually
browbeat your wife, she feels less sexy and
thinks you’re less sexy as well. You wanna
look more like George Clooney? Quit your
bitching!!
Oh, and the answer to the do these pants
make me look fat question: “of course not
darlin’. But, still, they’re not my favorite. You
really look hot in that red pair.”
5. WWAAD…what would Alan Alda do?:
Think of all the heroes in all the movies
you’ve ever seen. Yeah, the movies where the
guy wins the girl. Do you think the hero’s
gonna sit on his a*s watching the WWF while
the girl of his dreams has to cook his dinner
while sweeping the floor with a screaming
baby balanced on her hip? No, he’s not. He’s
gonna get up and gently take the broom and
mini-you from his girl and tell her, “Honey,
it’s probably been a long day for you, go put
your feet up and let me finish dinner. Oh, and
by the way, here’s the remote.” That’s what
Alan Alda would do.
You wife is now so grateful for this selfless
and heroic act, that like the proverbial damsel
in distress, now rescued, she has no choice
but to submit to your s*xual advances.
Would it really kill ya’ to do a load of laundry
once in a while?
6. Treat her like a thoroughbred; she’ll never
be a nag:
This is the same hottie that had you twisted in
knots lo those many years ago. She still
needs your affirmation. She still needs to feel
attractive. She still needs to feel adored. Her
hair, her eyes, her smile, her legs, her touch,
her mind, her spirit, her perfume, the list of
things you can compliment her on is
limitless. She does not want to have s*x with
anyone that doesn’t desire her. She has some
pride, after all. If you don’t make her feel
desired, there are plenty of other guys out
there who will…me for example.
If you tell her everyday how sexy she is she’ll
begin to feel sexy, and you know what sexy
girls like to do.
7. The most secret weapon of all: No woman
can resist this, so use it wisely. I do not give
this piece of advice lightly for it is powerful
stuff.
Every Monday or Tuesday (it’s good to
change up the day once in a while just so she
doesn’t get complacent) I take a small
amount of time out of my lunch hour and
drive over to the nearest grocery store. They
have a floral boutique there. I buy a single
long stem rose. I take the rose to my wife’s
place of employment and present it to her. Oh,
and don’t forget the little card that goes with
the rose. The card may be even more
important than the flower.
The result of this action is two-fold. One; not
only is the wife thrilled that you are thinking
about her but that you actually made an effort
to show your affection.
Secondly, but of no little consequence, after a
few weeks of this behavior the other women at
your wife’s place of employment will start to
become envious of her. That’s right now your
wife’s co-workers think she’s made a better
choice of life partners than they did. Some of
the women where she works might even snub
her. Your wife will secretly delight in this.
And, suddenly you are a source of pride to
her. Suddenly, she must be smart and sexy
and desirable to have such an attentive and
devoted man. And, every time a woman walks
into her office and makes a snide comment
about your wife always getting roses, she’s
on her way home to rock your world.
Don’t tell anybody I told you.

You need to trick your wife to have sex too?

Smh

Mynd_44: You need to trick your wife to have sex too?

Smh

I wonder oohh... EXcept she is playing away!

OP. Do you have a wife?

THRASH!!!

So because u wan fcu k u go begin dey buy flower every Mondays n tuesday abi? @op u brain correct so..