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Stats: 1061922 members, 1233399 topics. Date: Wednesday, 22 May 2013 at 06:27 AM
|Dating a Married Man: what do Nigerians think? by solo2(m): 2:03pm On Mar 25, 2005|
What would you say about ladies dating married men? Is it right or wrong?
|Re: Dating a Married Man: what do Nigerians think? by Ra(f): 2:38am On Mar 26, 2005|
When I was a bit younger than now, I only saw things in black and white. At such a time I would have assertively condemned any such lady. Now however, when shades of grey appear to exist besides black and white, I say it depends.
Generally speaking, it is morally and spiritually wrong. There are however instances wherein it might be permitted, while not recommended. Take for instance a man married to a woman who is mentally challenged and in a mental institution, he might seek solace and companion from another woman.
Please do not get me wrong, I am by no means permitting it under any circumstance. Spiritually there is absolutely no defence or ground for it. But judging such women without actually knowing the circumstances surrounding such relationships might be too hasty in extremely few cases.
Personally though, I do not recommend it to any woman.
|Re: Dating a Married Man: what do Nigerians think? by Chigszy(f): 5:10pm On Mar 26, 2005|
There is absolute no excuse for a woman to date a married man or for a man to date a married woman or whatt ever! The guy is married for crying out loud! Ok, what if your woman was going out with another guy while you guys are still on? I mean that is absolutely and totally wrong! And one would not find it funny then.
Dating a married man or woman will finally bring chaos to the family, and it is going to break up the family, and the kids are usually the once that have to bear the consequencies. What happened to "till death do us part?" I mean, if you ain't going to keep to that you might as well save everyone from all the drama!!
|Re: Dating a Married Man: what do Nigerians think? by kazey(m): 5:48pm On Mar 27, 2005|
Interesting. Well, dating a married man might be cool to some, an unforgiveable crime to a few, and a taboo to many. The question here tends to link with moralities which guide us toward so called right paths and justified reasoning. Well the point here we need to address and judge from is what really, this dating involves or all about? Is it just a friendly dinner as friends? Or something that would lead to bed?
If that issue is addressed then we would be able to pinpoint, on what is good and what is bad. And therefore a good angle of argument can be launched. I classify hitting the issue from a religious angle really lame. Please let the issue at stake be addressed, and let's remove emotions. Thank you.
|Re: Dating a Married Man: what do Nigerians think? by Chigszy(f): 2:22am On Mar 29, 2005|
Yeah, well, I do agree that the issue of religion is not a key role in the discussion. I mean, different religions have various ways they do their own thing. But but when people say 'dating', it is no longer like a friend to friend association. If friends are going out, well they are hanging out, and not going out on a date. Dating already puts the whole relationship at a different level.
So I still think that it is wrong no matter what context it is viewed from. One of the person is still married and has a family.
|Re: Dating a Married Man: what do Nigerians think? by diakim(m): 12:47pm On Mar 30, 2005|
Our society is polygamous in nature. And from the look of it, we have more women than men. This explains the reason why some women will date a married man, especially if she doesn't mind becoming a second, third or fourth wife, as the case may be.
But as for the man, he knows what he is looking for. If he has a wife at home and is dating other women outside, then that is wrong. It should not be encouraged. If he is separated or divorced and dating other women, maybe he wants to marry another wife. It doesn't matter whether he is a christian or muslim, he may not have the grace to remain like that.
It is also possible for a married man to date women, not for the purpose of sex, but just for friendship or companionship. Maybe he is having problem in his home, or the wife have been sicked for a long time, etc. He just wants the friendship of a woman, somebody who understands.
So, it is better to examine each situation and circumstances separately before raising condemnation or commendation. But I make bold to say that a man that have a wife at home and started looking outside for sex is clearly in the wrong, morally or spiritually speaking.
|Re: Dating a Married Man: what do Nigerians think? by Ash: 8:06am On Mar 31, 2005|
Why for God's gracious sake would you want to take something that doesn't belong to you?
I don't blame girls that do that. Instead, I hold the men responsible. What happend to 'deliver us from every temptation'? Fine, some girls are |bad|, so why not run when you see them ('Jezebels') coming? Please, if you really do love your woman and dont believe the phrase "variety is the spice of life" should apply to every thing in life. You won't fall into their hands if you don't want to.
Yes, some girls were born home breakers, maybe because of their background; broken home or because they just want this "complete man" and share in the joy he is giving someone else. Like Yorubas would say, 'Olojukokoro'(greedy person).
I believe, if you are having problems with your wife, you should go to God in prayers. Talk to him, I'm too sure He'll work things out.
|Re: Dating a Married Man: what do Nigerians think? by dominobaby(f): 9:46am On Mar 31, 2005|
Really, really, i think we should call a spade a spade.
Wen you look at it from different perspectives, you would definitely have varying opinions.
I am looking at it from the xtian angle now whereby it is one man one wife.
A lady dating a married man: wat kind of date is that? Are they just friends or have an intimate relationship? If it is that their relationship in non-platonic then it is absolutely wrong cos I believe as the same lady, wen you get married you would not even want to hear the fact that your husband is dating some other woman! So do unto others what you want to be done to you.
|Re: Dating a Married Man: what do Nigerians think? by Chigszy(f): 12:10am On Apr 01, 2005|
okies i think we have dis all wrong. there is a difference between and i think tht is where we all got it wrong! dating is with the intention tht it would lead to somfin else. if they r just friends then they do not date. when friends go out they r HANGING OUT not DATING. i was justhaving dis conversation wif a friend and i figured tht ppl have got the meaning all wrong. so from dis topic of conversation, the indication is that the man or the woman has got other intention i n mind not just mere hanging out. if i am wrong pls correct me. i am taking a stand on my opinion. unless the person tht started the topic meant dating as otherwise.
|Re: Dating a Married Man: what do Nigerians think? by whizkid(f): 11:48am On Apr 01, 2005|
First of all the answer to the question is , it is wrong for a lady to date a married man and nothing justifies that action. Alrightie! The golden rule states" Do unto others what you want them to do to you" with that I say, let's judge ourselves okay! would you be happy if some woman is dating your husband?
|Re: Dating a Married Man: what do Nigerians think? by kazey(m): 9:32pm On Apr 01, 2005|
Defining "going out" or Dating. Is it the issue? . Well we do have to define it to be able to understand what it is all about. The threads topic if I am not mistaken was on "Dating".
Now for a married man to be dating in wedlock is totally wrong. Dating the married man also is wrong too. There is infact nothing to justify the date, except in a scenario whereby the lady is going to be his second or third or even fourth wife and thats with the consent of his other wives or wife, then that can be a reasonable excuse. Well we live in a world where polygamy is practiced especially in a country like Nigeria, so i guess we cant raise an alarm if we happen to see someone going for a second wife.
When it comes to going out, well its OK. The married man can go out with any lady he wants, providing its "going out" which from my own understanding means just hanging out for a dinner or maybe a visit to a place.
|Re: Dating a Married Man: what do Nigerians think? by Ra(f): 1:02pm On Apr 02, 2005|
Whichever view one decides to adopt, really, it's wrong. What I was trying to say earlier is that some situations are better judged after you've had a close shave or a near experience. I'm not saying I have and I sincerely pray that I never fall that weak but the fact remains that I've come across loads of people of both sexes who found themselves prey. These are not bad people we're talking about, they don’t have horns or any such thing, and quite to the contrary, they're hunks and babes by anyone's standards. That's beside the point. I'm saying no one sets out to hurt their spouses in this manner, well, no one in their right minds. Yet, unfortunately enough, it happens every minute. As we speak, someone's husband is busy trying to find out what colour or designer another woman favours in her choice of underwear. It's disheartening at best, I know, but the cruel fact remains that it happens and our society condones it. Guys, stop sounding like it's an alien idea, it's not right but it's happens just like practically every other thing that obtains in our society. May God help us all. And just for the record, what right or time does a married man/woman have to 'hang out' with someone of the opposite sex? Where is her husband, where are the kids? Once hanging out entails getting dressed up, leaving the house and meeting up with a man/woman without your spouses knowledge, let alone consent, there's fire on the mountain.
|Re: Dating a Married Man: what do Nigerians think? by Seun(m): 2:58pm On Apr 02, 2005|
Ra: As we speak, someone's husband is busy trying to find out what colour or designer another woman favours in her choice of underwear.I suppose someone else's wife is also having her underwear examined by another man.
Ra: I'm saying no one sets out to hurt their spouses in this manner, well, no one in their right minds.Here's how I see it. People set out to have affairs for various reasons, but they figure out that "what you know won't hurt you". Therefore as long as they don't get caught, they think "no problem". Let's face it, it's a matter of integrity. I don't think this 'temptation' thing is hard to resist as such.
|Re: Dating a Married Man: what do Nigerians think? by Seun(m): 7:11pm On Apr 06, 2005|
The ratio of women to men in Nigeria is definitely not 6 to 1! According to Motherland Nigeria, there were 54.61 million women to 55.92 million men in 1998, a ratio of about 98 women to 100 men! So there's no reason for polyamorous men to feel justified.
Single ladies, isn't that wonderful? There are more than enough men to go around!
|Re: Dating a Married Man: what do Nigerians think? by eniolatj(m): 4:22pm On Apr 27, 2005|
Dating a married man is not something good, but nowadays, it has become something of pride among the ladies. In addition, some of them go into this because of money. Therefore I can say one of the factors that is responsible for this is poverty.
|Re: Dating a Married Man: what do Nigerians think? by solo2(m): 4:26pm On Apr 28, 2005|
Brother, I think you are right, those who are doing it are doing it because of money, poverty. But in my view they are better than those on the road into prostitution.
|Re: Dating a Married Man: what do Nigerians think? by Ra(f): 8:32pm On Apr 28, 2005|
I beg to disagree.
When I was a student in UI, it was the in thing to date married men. Infact it was more common and natural than brushing your teeth. Now, if you take a closer look at 90% of the babes into this 'trade', such as it is, they are by far not from poor homes. Most of them are from very comfortable backgrounds. They do it for the money alright but let's not confuse poverty with greed here.
We are all of the popular consensus that however wrong it is, it is common place now for married men and even women (God help us) to have scores of affairs, but it still does not make it right.
|Re: Dating a Married Man: what do Nigerians think? by solo2(m): 3:49pm On Apr 29, 2005|
Bros, when I think about the campus life of the girls, most of them are doing it because of greed. And some are being lured into the act of dating these men because of what they will gain from the men. But some some of the working class ladies are dating married men ether for fun or for security or greed.
|Re: Dating a Married Man: what do Nigerians think? by hope(f): 12:23am On May 12, 2005|
God of mercy, forgive those who date a married man. There is no two ways about it, if a man is not married to you he is not your husband.
I cannot date a married man. Dating a married man you are puting a curse upon yourself; for God's sake this man is not yours and he can't be yours no matter how close you are. You are putting the family in pains; this man will turn his back from his family. He'll pay attention to you alone and this will cause damage to the family.
If you date a married man now, someone else will date your man tommorrow, then you will feel a taste of it.
|Re: Dating a Married Man: what do Nigerians think? by Ra(f): 11:37am On May 12, 2005|
Hey, hope, I completely understand your aversion for the practise. What goes around, as the saying goes, comes around.
|Re: Dating a Married Man: what do Nigerians think? by mosiate(f): 12:49pm On May 27, 2005|
Omo, na the best oh.
As long as you know how to play your cards, there's noting wrong with it.
These married man are more experienced in every area than these young boys. I mean every area: they can spend any amount for you, do anything, and besides that, pamper you.
But mind you, it should be just dating o. Wise up, don't ever think of getting married to them, else you'll smell fire when you get there.
|Re: Dating a Married Man: what do Nigerians think? by CimonJorr(m): 12:56pm On May 27, 2005|
Do we really need to answer this topic?
For those that are single, let them tell me how it feels when years down the line they have marital problems because one silly charlatan (male or female) refuses to leave their spouse alone.
And for those who are married, when the **** hits the fan, I hope they'll be around to enjoy the repercussions and ramifications of their actions..
There's no justification, period. If you want to go that route, why get married?
|Re: Dating a Married Man: what do Nigerians think? by dominobaby(f): 10:09pm On May 27, 2005|
I guess then, one should welcome a young gurl dating her husband with arms wide open
|Re: Dating a Married Man: what do Nigerians think? by Pinky(f): 6:30am On May 28, 2005|
mosiate dearie, wake up from this serious slumber of urs.. would u be happy as a married woman if u know ur husband is dating a young girl elsewhere..c'mon girl..its for real "wat goes around comes around"
there's no card to be played here.. this is simply very wrong
cut the craps, dont date a married man, there re many single guys out there who re richer than married men (if u want to date for money), who can pamper u & do anything for u... its just that we all know most single guys re not level headed.. but the nice ones re still out there o!! waiting for u to jump into their arms..
if u really want rich guys & other qualities.. move with the classy girls.. B4 u say "jack robinson" u re already dating a rich dude
|Re: Dating a Married Man: what do Nigerians think? by hotpikin(f): 7:51am On May 28, 2005|
|Re: Dating a Married Man: what do Nigerians think? by stababy(f): 4:43pm On May 28, 2005|
It is inexcusable for a lady to date a married man, especially young ladies in our higher institutions of learning. Imagine how it would feel for someone to be dating your husband when you know you have what it takes.
Doesn't feel nice abi??
And that man self, wetin be your own? One woman no do you? Abeg keep "randy Thomas" in check oh! Discipline yourself.
|Re: Dating a Married Man: what do Nigerians think? by bell(m): 10:54am On May 29, 2005|
Date a married man? I think that is the height of irresponsiblity on the part of any female!
Agreed, some men can't keep their thing in their trousers, but does any intelligent, right thinking lady have to be the WC into which they pour their excess fluid? Or the machine upon which they realise their intimate urges?
A lady with respect for herself will realise she should not be second fiddle or a play-thing for any man, no matter the reward. What goes around would definitely come around.
|Re: Dating a Married Man: what do Nigerians think? by jummy79(f): 2:39pm On May 30, 2005|
I agree, only I would say it's irresponsible on the part of the both the male and the female.
I also think that men aren't given enough credit for their ability to keep their "thing" in their trousers. As far as I know, they were born with a functioning brain (the one in their heads) too, just like women were. So I think reference to the fact that it's so "difficult" to control your urges is just ridiculous and really is just an excuse for bad behaviour.
I wholeheartedly agree with your final point: it's all about having self respect and knowing that you deserve the best for yourself and that would be someone who can devote all of themself to you.
|Re: Dating a Married Man: what do Nigerians think? by pauly(m): 12:51am On May 31, 2005|
That is not the best way of dating. We have young men and women that fit your standard with all potentials. Why darting married man or woman?
That is why our young boys and girls go for that because it pays. but remember
|Re: Dating a Married Man: what do Nigerians think? by legry(m): 12:29pm On May 31, 2005|
What is all this? We all know this is wrong but it's still done by every where. So what are we debating on here?
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