My fiance was my class mate when i was in secondry sch. but we started the friendship after our s.s. 3. Till he graduated from university last year and he's preparing for NYSC the friendship is leading to marriage we agreed and it has lasted for 7yrs now, i loved him and he loved me, he always tells me the truth but now the problem is, i tavelled last 4month being April ending b4 i came he has pragnanted a girl in which the parent of the girl took the case to police. Infact am totally confused, i dont know where to start.He pleade with the girl to abort it cos he is married but the girl insisted saying that she is even ready to become the second wife provided he is with him. He's pleading me to wait for the girl to deliver that after her delivering, he will send her out. I dont know how to endure it,will i allow them to marry or what will i do.

wat r u still waiting for?what kind of advise do u need?is d answer not obvious or clear enough?

its not every love dat is meant to be,if all love's were meant to be then im very sure everybody will be married to his/her first love

dis is way 2 complicated, am sry i cant help but cry out loud, pray shaa,

ah ah ramp but thatz not fair, she loves him, so u expect er 2 start afresh

Eudora:

ah ah ramp but thatz not fair, she loves him, so u expect er 2 start afresh

my dear,some loves like i said r not meant to be

when a man does not respect the woman then let him go to hell

just because she travelled he has not only slept wt a girl,but also impregnated her?

did the girl force him?even if she did,he should have atleast remembered d girl that has toiled wt him for good 7years

let her move on ,now that its still early ,if they were married this is how he would have disappointed her?

sm people r not meant to be,we all learn everyday,sm learn d hard way,while some d easy way,but it doesnt matter,d key word there is "learn"

sm people have gone through worst situations,so hers is still ok,atleast they r not married

@poster

i wont tell u what to do,but if i were to be in your shoes ,im walking out,even if he said hes going to chase d woman away,hes only chasing her away out of his house and not out of his life,(that is even if he will chase her out of d house)that woman is there already,and has more rights than u because of her child,so my dear its all left to u

uv got a point sha,

@topic
leave the guy

Eudora:

ah ah ramp but thatz not fair, she loves him, so u expect er 2 start afresh

Yes, she should start afresh - she may love him, but he doesn't love her in return.

rampant:

what r u still waiting for?what kind of advise do u need?is d answer not obvious or clear enough?
its not every love that is meant to be,if all love's were meant to be then im very sure everybody will be married to his/her first love

Complicated? It's pretty plain, from where I'm sitting.
This guy doesn't respect his girlfriend - simple.

babyooo:

My fiance was my class mate when i was in secondry sch. but we started the friendship after our s.s. 3. Till he graduated from university last year and he's preparing for NYSC the friendship is leading to marriage we agreed and it has lasted for 7yrs now, i loved him and he loved me, he always tells me the truth but now the problem is, i tavelled last 4month being April ending before i came he has pragnanted a girl.

Babyooo, I'm truly sorry you've been hurt, but this guy can't love you at all, if at your first absence he jumps into bed with another girl.

babyooo:

He's pleading me to wait for the girl to deliver that after her delivering, he will send her out.

Lady, it won't happen - she'll have the baby, but he won't leave her for you.
If he did, it'd be a pretty cold-blooded thing to do.
Besides, would you honestly want to be with such a brutal man? Who is he leaving the other girl to get married to?

babyooo:

Infact am totally confused, i don't know where to start.

Confused? What don't you understand?
Start how you mean to carry on - with a clean slate.

babyooo:

I don't know how to endure it,will i allow them to marry or what will i do.

Lady, you don't need to endure anything, stop beating yourself up over a worthless man.
Let him marry the girl, you don't sound stupid, I think you've got your head screwed on properly.
Move on, and find someone else, who's not a liar and a cheat, you deserve better.

Good luck, whatever you decide.

Leave this guy.

Leave the guy please. What kind of nonsense is that?

@Poster


Walk and don't look back, you deserve better than this.

Leave the guy and move on with life. God has reason(s) 4 everything

Hunny he will never drive her away when she has his first child, that is what they say, when the baby comes they abandon you, your best bet would be to move on with your life cuz if it took 4 months for a man to ruin 7 years or relationship, what makes you think he is someone you can build a future with. if he could cheat on someone he claims to love then he is not worth it. please move on with your life try to put the past behind, i know it will be hard but be happy it happened now rather than when you are married with kids. i guess God is telling you that he is not the right one for you. please take heart and try to move on with your life. do not believe anything he has to say now.

Leave the dude and the situation

You shouldnt even wnat to be with a guy that would open his mouth and say he would throw out the mother of his kid. Didnt he know he was "married" before he slept with her

These are things women ignore and when the guy does the same to you in the future, you start to wonder what caused it. He's obviously not a good person.

sista-jay:

@Poster


Walk and don't look back, you deserve better than this.

If you look back, you'll turn into a pillar of salt.

the I'm gonna go the other way on this one . . .

@poster . . .I'm very sorry that you are being compelled to go thru all this ok, You BF did a WRONG thing by SLEEPING with another girl _{and stupid enough not to use protection} but unlike everyone else here . . .I would advise that you LEAVE HIM ok, you really need to consider this . .FINE he has a child coming . . .Forget all that crap about him being forced to marry the girl . . .its not gonna happen . . . .Fine, she (the pregnant girl) will become his responsibility Pre & 4 some time Post delivery.
I think you should really think it over before you make a hasty decision.

Okija_juju:

If you look back, you'll turn into a pillar of salt.

I dey laff for here o!

I thanks all of you for your advice,may the mercyfull Lord be with you all and may Him grant all your heart desires and fulfill all plans. All your good dreams will accomplished one by one in JESUS NAME.By God's grace am getting myself.
Another one is dis, i told him to stop calling or testing me but he refuse and any time he called i will not get myself again and if you see the message he always test me you cant believe that am not going on with him. I took all his pictures to him and requested for my own but he refused, pls what will i do?

I am afraid, walking away from the guy and starting afresh may hurt you more than what you just experience.

Everyone asked you to start afresh without probing deeper.

I am not going to be inhuman. I will just ask questions before judging. That is if you are real

@ poster

Send her out ke? The parents go even send you out because she born pikin before you.

I sincerely believe that it is better to leave this guy and move on with your life, knowing fully well that with time, say maybe 1-3 years' time, you will get over the pain, the disappointment this guy threw your way, RATHER than to hold on to him, marry him and thereby experiencing a life of painful memories and hurtful reminder that someone else has his first child. My genuine advise is this--- LIFE GOES ON!

Most times, men are not worth dying for. IT IS THE PLAIN TRUTH!!!!!!!!

@ poster
I tell u what, stick with him, y?
1. he is the only man u ve evr known
2. U two have come along way
3. Prayer and Love will heal ur wounds
4. He has been faithful to u till now, untill this mistake which came in form of challenges in relationships
5. Ur next guy might b worse
6. In evry relationship expect the unexpected and pray for the best.

And lastly, one lil peace of advice
A perfect relationship is not all about finding the right partner but being the right partner

The ball is in ur court,

@ rampant

well said.
@ post
u c if i ask u 2 walk out of ur relationshp i wil nt b doin u any gud,because it just lik taking a step 4ward n 3 back ward.so in my opinion i wil ask u 2 hang on and watch what step ur man takes.

your boyfriend is not truthful to you. he started cheating on you before you travelled becuase four months is not enough for full blown pregnancy. think before taking any action, it might be a mistake or he cheats with out you know. if he loves you, then he has to stand on his feet and reject the marriage issue of the other girl but not the child. no consideration. take the child and let the woman go. tell him that.

4 month is not enough?

@ poster leave the man and dont look back

Forget about him. What kind of man impregnates another woman when he has a significant other? Please don't waste your time on this guy, cos he'll probably bring you nothing but heart ache.

If he loved you, he probably wouldn't want to know what's in another ladies skirt. Run before you get stuck[marriage].

outlaws:



If he loved you, he probably wouldn't want to know what's in another ladies skirt. Run before you get stuck[marriage].

well said.

besides I don't see what is confusing here . . .the guy "f**king" cheated on u!!!!

why are u girls always coming across so desperate to marry a guy?
is marriages and weddings the new trend in naija now?

He cheated on you yes idiot! but then how many of them guys are clean? he was only unfurtunate that the other lady was clever enough, boyfriend, fiance, husbands cheat on daily basis but once it doesnt result in pregnancy its coo? I can see some strong feeling from both sides with what you said. Look, that a man cheated (which of course is bad, unGodly and unfair) that does not mean he did not love his g/f or spouse forget about the talk about the guys sleeping with someone because he did not love you. You yourself can say if he loves you or not and when did having a babay for a man makes her his wife?
I'm a jealous type and i am not sure i can stand such rubbish but then if you think you can (judging by what u said which shows u still love d guy) if u thing u can forgive him and continue with him please do if not go ahead and look elsewhere but be sure you really want to go into another relationship o, you may meet a 'saint' who would never have and will never sleep with another woman in his entire life.
I have seen this happen before to a friend's brother everyone knew he was engaged but this stupid came in the picture somehow the girl got pregnant and felt she has gotten the guy from the supposed fiancee, the fiancee refused to leave stayed by her man, the stupid girl had the baby in her father's house and the two love-birds got married left the idiot with shame having to take care of a baby without father head. Luck shone on them they won US lottery and they are together now for about 15 years with 3 kids, they still send money for the upkeep of the child anyway.

So follow yr heart.

No one had said it better. Nice one from Ayo.