Fellow Nairaland,
This is something i need to share with all and need a constructive idea and advice. Please, no joking about this as it involve the stability of my relationship. Thank you as you share your opinion.

It happens that, i usually help this lady who is not fortunate to have a good relationship. I gave her money, properties and moral assistance, all bc i felt i owe humanity and feelings that i should at least put a smile on someone's face. However, she has been asking me to sleep with her which i bluntly refused, one DAY we did it but how and what lead to it i still don't know till today. weeks after she told me she is pregnant and will not want to do any abortion. What really surprised me is that she said the pregnancy is just 1 month and plus old. I have my introduction slated for January 24th 2009. My fiance told me last saturday that she dreamt i impregnate someone i did not say anything in response (NOTE,  this lady happens to know and become a good friend to my fiance ,  a very good friend),

Am at a dilemna, as this girl vowed to displace my relationship with my fiance. I have tried all i could to persuade her to abort but instead she keep avoiding me and prefer to say it to everyone that knows me that i impregnate her and refused to claim responsibility, WHAT A WORLD WE INTO

THE COUNT DOWN IS JANUARY 24TH 2009.
NEED YOUR ADVICE. THANK YOU

See me see wahala oh!

You were providing her all these things because she 'is not fortunate to have a good relationship'??

What right thinking woman will be getting money, properties and all that and will not want to have EVERYTHING to herself? You fell for her trap and slept with her, now she is showing you her true colours. You messed up big time - do not engage in this type of 'assistance' unless you keep things at arm's length.

Now you have no option but to insist on doing a paternity test, finding out if this is your child or not is the most crucial thing. Unfortunately this lady will stop at nothing to keep enjoying all the benefits she has been getting, even if it means ruining your relationship.

Sadly, you don't have a lot of time to resolve this.

If that doesn't work, tell your wife to be and call the bluff of the 'ungrateful' woman. You warmed her bed out of your good heart and she wants to blackmail you?

Hey see issue
guy i pity you oh
singing 2face's no be small thing oh
don't even know where to start from. . .
1. You cheated on your partner,therefore you don't deserve her.
2. All the while youve been playing Santa did you 'fiance' know about it?
3. If your fiance came home with this kind of situation what will your action be?
4. Discuss with your mother, she'll never deceive or mislead you
your case is one hell of a case
Gd luck. . . . try your best not to lose your woman

well, u messed up, like debosky said,what right thinking woman wont want everything for herself?
find out if the issue is really yours, if it is,try to persuade her to abort it,if she refuses,be the first to tell your fiancee,whatever decision your fiance makes accept because quite alright it was a mistake but mistakes have consequences.wish you the best.

Yes you r in more than big trouble!!!
Im not going to waste time tellin you you could have behaved urself because anyone could have done the same thing. In this situation you have only one choice:

1. Tell ur fiance - Either of the two result will come out of this
a: If she very understanding, you'll both go ahead with the introduction as planned and she'll have to accept the child(if its really ur child- pls do a paternity test)
b:She'll f**k both you and the lady up and cancel the introduction - There are different ways she'll do this, but on top of the list are financially and emotionally(you) and physical(the lady)

Goodluck!!!

Exactly what you get for not being able to control your lustful desire, You have a fiance yet slept with another woman. Helping her my foot.

I hope you loose your wonderful fiance to a better man who deserves her, and your stuck with the pathetic woman.

So next time you would look before you leap. 

Tell your parents let them help you solve this,cause i think this is beyond you.

mehn!!  

Be d 4st to tell yur wife-to-be o  

Yu d 1 responsible for d belle jo  . . . . buh insist on a test to confirm sha

Oga o! deeplo ti se ore daran!

First you need to talk to the girl, don't ever talk about abortion with her. make her understand something that did she want you to dump her after she born the baby? talk sense to her and also let her to understand that you will not tell anybody and the relationship will continue. then abortion matter now come in

thanks very much for your advice and contributions. from debosky, steve49ja,MoneyRule,tboy1,ThoniaSlim,arramyjay,Moyola and tmoney11, at the moment.

My parent are already aware and they asked us to meet and find solution as we both can only solve the mystery lurking in there. i tried my best to meet her just to talk some sense into her but she always avoid me, if i call her number she will not pick if i hide it and noticed it my voice she will cut it ,

As for my fiance, she is not a problem, she understand more than any woman in this world that is why no man will take her away from me by GOD's grace. We have been together for 8yrs when there was noting, when we cant afford to eat wat we want, i will never leave her i will do all i can to make her forgive me, not even now that we are living in our own house, built by both of us and business named to our unborn children ( we already know the name to be given each child), let me say it here, i have at no time cheated on her. we men should always pray never to fall in the hand of women are have no immunity against that, we need grace.

Kosi big deal. Tell ur babe about the situation. If she loves you enough to go on with the marriage, fine. If she doesnt, no big deal. B/c In the world of dating and marriage one babe is as good as the next provided you stick with the golden rule: don't sleep with a girl you don't consider pretty enough for marriage.

The child:Of course you have to wait until it is born for paternity (preferably DNA) test. Alternatively you can let the child grow older and see if it looks like you or the previous customer.

May God help you

deeplo:

thanks very much for your advice and contributions. from debosky, steve49ja,MoneyRule,tboy1,ThoniaSlim,arramyjay,Moyola and tmoney11,  at the moment.

My parent are already aware and they asked us to meet and find solution as we both can only solve the mystery lurking in there. i tried my best to meet her just to talk some sense into her but she always avoid me,  if i call her number she will not pick if i hide it and noticed it my voice she will cut it ,  

As for my fiance, she is not a problem, she understand more than any woman in this world that is why no man will take her away from me by GOD's grace. We have been together for 8yrs when there was noting, when we can't afford to eat what we want,  i will never leave her i will do all i can to make her forgive me, not even now that we are living in our own house, built by both of us and business named to our unborn children ( we already know the name to be given each child),  let me say it here,  i have at no time cheated on her. we men should always pray never to fall in the hand of women are have no immunity against that,  we need grace.

Why didn't you think about that when you were about to screw the other girl? Oh i forgot it was your third eye doing the thinking for you.

.

tpia:

Is this a true story?

Someone is this daft in this day and age?

In matters of the heart, wisdom or commonsense does not always take precedence in a man's consideration. The gentleman can be excused.

he aint daft he just made a mistake cmon

deeplo:

thanks very much for your advice and contributions. from debosky, steve49ja,MoneyRule,tboy1,ThoniaSlim,arramyjay,Moyola and tmoney11, at the moment.


As for my fiance, she is not a problem, she understand more than any woman in this world , let me say it here, i have at no time cheated on her.  we men should always pray never to fall in the hand of women are have no immunity against that, we need grace.

of course we do.

Dude,Betrayal of trust after your marriage/future plans would affect,how u relate you admit that or not,,(even if she forgives she'll never forget) it has to do with the human psychology.
if you say you havent cheated what would u call your act of sleeping with another woman when you have a fiance?Helping?

Bros,pele see how useful a piece of condom is,it would have saved u of all these wahala.
no pain no gain,tell ur wife to be,i think she is the only person that can help u out.

Dude:
u messed up so u need to clean it up.

Dont ask her to abort the child, it could cost her life. However, try and make the gravity of the matter known to her. I would tell her bluntly that having a baby for me wont guarantee her any marital ties with me.
I would make it absolutely clear that after birth we shall go in for paternity tests and if i'm the father i will make my regular paternal donations for the child's upkeep.
I would explain things to my fiance and family before they get to hear it from her, and i will make peace with them. . .  If my fiance is strong [like i know she will] she will handle it with maturity, otherwise, she is free to move on.

Life teaches people to be strong, experience is the best teacher. Always bear in mind that u r not the first one to get into this sort of situation. . .  It is a shameful one but u have to hold yourself in one piece. . .  It is not the end of the world!

na so oooo Oro ama so ologbon jo, aso omugo di were

One last thing, when do you think i can tell my fiance as at this moment, i really dont know. I go to work simply bc am the boss and tried as much to hold mysef bc i wouldn't want them to know anything but i cant coordinate well, i get annoyed when am not suppose to be, i leave office just driving around when am suppose to be in the office, pls advice

.

@Poster

Nollywood, Games of the Heart - parts 1, 2, and 3.

I guess sleeping with another woman is not cheating to you  

After all you built over 8 YEARS, you were still silly enough to do something like this   It makes the situation even worse - I wonder how many other women you 'helped' along the years in this way.  

Follow Lexi's advice - be firm and let her know she will get NOTHING from you, except for the baby's upkeep, if it's confirmed that you are the father. She thinks she can get you with this pregnancy - show her you will NOT fall for that trick. For your sake I hope the confidence you have in your fiancee is well placed.

Tell your fiancee NOW - give her time to be angry and get over it (if possible) before 24th January

tpia:


I disagree oh!


Unless he can't afford a condom!

excuse wetin?

anyway, I doubt the story is true sha.

But are you aware, condoms are not 100% reliable? except your among the deceived peeps who actually think it is?

deeplo:

One last thing, when do you think i can tell my fiance as at this moment, i really don't know. I go to work simply bc am the boss and tried as much to hold mysef bc i wouldn't want them to know anything but i can't coordinate well, i get annoyed when am not suppose to be, i leave office just driving around when am suppose to be in the office, please advice

Dude: Like debosky said above, NOW is the time to tell your fiance!
Make sure you tell your family first so they can help stand by u when your fiance flips her top, but make sure that girl doesnt beat u to the race to tell your fiance before u.

One more thing, DONT DO THIS VIA TEXT or on the phone!  She wont find it funny.

I feel sorry for your fiance.

She has been with you for 8 years.  She has invested all that she has into building a relationship with you and looking forward to the day that you will have children.  Even gone to the extent as to pick out their names in advance. She has built her world around you and supported you and been a constant by your side.

She has uplifted you and helped you beyond words and you repay her for her loyalty, support and unconditional love by letting another woman have your[b] FIRST [/b] child.  This is a big deal for women.

I cry for her  

You have put her in a position that I would not put my worse enemy in.

I cry for her  

I have no idea what I would do in her shoes

I cry for her  

Her mother will not be able to console her own child for the heartache that you have caused her.

game_rod:

@Poster

Nollywood, Games of the Heart - parts 1, 2, and 3.

you kidding me?
this is some movie story? ? ?  
cant believe this

Some females r dissing d guy as if no one is infallible especially wn it comes 2 issues lk this!!

Dude you are in serious trouble. I guess what you need to have her understand is that even if she has the baby, you would not have anything to do with her because you love your fiancee. If that doesn't work you have a to go for her jugular by telling your fiancee about what happened and have them talk. Yes it would cause a huge conflict, but at the same time it might work out because the woman would see that she can't black mail you into being with her because the person who you actually love knows about her pregnancy.


[size=6pt][/size] or just hire someone to take her to Somalia and leave her azz in the desert.

steve49ja:

you kidding me?
this is some movie story? ? ?  
can't believe this

He lie, big time. Which fool will sleep with a woman this day and age without a condom? Nollywood, shown on TV, you can buy the movie yourself.

eminemkayc:

Some females r dissing d guy as if no one is infallible especially wn it comes 2 issues lk this!!

I dont understand. . . .

Did he slip and fall and his manliness fell up in the puzzy?

If that happened then by all means this is not his fault and his woman will understand completely.

If you love someone and dont want to hurt them then you can NEVER do something like this.

deeplo:

One last thing, when do you think i can tell my fiance as at this moment, i really don't know.

Tell her as soon as yu can man. . . . She's very understanding like you claim. . . it ain gon b funny if someone else tellz her. .

deeplo:

I go to work simply bc am the boss and tried as much to hold mysef bc i wouldn't want them to know anything but i can't coordinate well, i get annoyed when am not suppose to be, i leave office just driving around when am suppose to be in the office, please advice

Easy man!!!
itz not d end of d world. . . ahn ahn!!
Either you try as much as you can to concentrate on your work or take some dayz off. . .