hmmmmm, I wont turn up like this by God's grace.
Yes, I was turn between happiness and sadness: he made me really serious with my studies because he insisted on first class, I graduated with something close to what he wanted and today, I am in a position most people will kill for. I am indebted to this because he was very very encouraging. But he controlled me and all my male friends didnt like him because sometimes he made me cry so much after i receive his calls, sometimes he even cheated but i forgot about that. He was very stubborn but really i could only see the good part of his stubborness because it paid off in some areas. He is a very dedicated personality to success.
I didnt see the wrong because I loved him. why would I see what is wrong and hang in for 10 years? maybe I was blind but talking about pride, trust me he had it but still anyone can be proud or humble depending on situations. my mum was right but I never allowed her to think she was right. Actually, i stayed in the relationship for 3 years sneaking around after mum warned me not to see him again because i did love this guy. Eventually we broke off and i was the architect and I ave to say it was painful but i believe it is for the best. He was not bad in all ramifications like u asked.... i hope i have been able to answer 90% of your questions. pls help, thanks

2s£xy:


Well, from what I am reading, it seems your mum saw all the 'wrongs' and you didn't.

Let me ask you at this point: Were you happy with him in that 10 years stunt? Did he make you happy?

How come your mum saw the wrongs and you didn't?

When she pin pointed the flaws, was she right or wrong?

You need to let the house know by answering these questions and let it not be that your mum did this for her own selfish reasons, which could in turn hunt you like you are currently experiencing now.

Except you state clearly that the guy was bad in all ramifications, then I see know reason why your mother should be the reason for the breakup. At least if there should be any, it has to be between the two of you, for which I am yet to see.

It's as if your mum caused the divide without any concrete reason.

Saying the dude is proud... Is no good reason in my book.

So, I want to ask you again: was he the proud type? If yes, could you define the kind of pride he has?

I am trying to save you the grace of not finding happiness in the long run because a lot of parents, especially mothers ruin the life of their daughters without weighing the consequences...

I read one time on nairaland: " a thread for single ladies"(you can search for it) where the OP narrated what an elderly man told her.

The man told her that there was a lady he wanted to marry and they loved each other so much BUT the parents objected, especially the mother. He tried everything he could to convince them but the parents refused. He left but several years later, he met the woman and when they saw each other, the woman was in tears crying that the man should have fought for her. He consoled her and told her that he fought but she didn't make effort and she kept mute while the parents were against him.

Questions: the man asked what about the man whom your parents said you would marry? She said they didn't marry and that she had to go marry someone else. So, how is the husband, the man asked. She said he had an accident and she is saddled with the responsibility of taking care of the house.

I do hope you learn something from this.

Goodluck.

kahdeejah: hmmmmm, I wont turn up like this by God's grace.
Yes, I was turn between happiness and sadness: he made me really serious with my studies because he insisted on first class, I graduated with something close to what he wanted and today, I am in a position most people will kill for. I am indebted to this because he was very very encouraging. But he controlled me and all my male friends didnt like him because sometimes he made me cry so much after i receive his calls, sometimes he even cheated but i forgot about that. He was very stubborn but really i could only see the good part of his stubborness because it paid off in some areas. He is a very dedicated personality to success.
I didnt see the wrong because I loved him. why would I see what is wrong and hang in for 10 years? maybe I was blind but talking about pride, trust me he had it but still anyone can be proud or humble depending on situations. my mum was right but I never allowed her to think she was right. Actually, i stayed in the relationship for 3 years sneaking around after mum warned me not to see him again because i did love this guy. Eventually we broke off and i was the architect and I ave to say it was painful but i believe it is for the best. He was not bad in all ramifications like u asked.... i hope i have been able to answer 90% of your questions. pls help, thanks

it's okay. No, you won't end up that way. I just didn't want a situation where your mum had a hand in it.

Anyway, just move on.

Like you have been told, stop comparing people. It's bad.

We are who we are for a reason and no one is perfect. I am pretty sure that when I set eyes on you, there could also be things that could turn me off about your person, too.

Rather focus on the content of the person's character and see what makes him tick.

Also, note that it's better date a friend than just a boyfriend...

op can you give us examples of those 'faults' you found in those men you have met after your ex that 'you cant really live with'?

This could be useful in advising you if you dont mind.