VantagePoint:
Then you should stop at those 4 kids.
Don't tempt God/Providence/Nature.

Hahaha, even without AS i don reach my limit o?

Cant afford more kids. Kids are just too expensive.

It is not advisable for an AS man to get married to an AS woman. Medically,it is not allowed as it leads to high morbidity and mortality rates. That informs why a pastor may not advise intending couple having the same genotype AS to get married. That does not make the pastor a faithless servant of God. It does not also imply or suggest that the pastor is encouraging faithlessness in the Church of Christ. What it means is that the pastor simply applies wisdom in dealing with the Church members or christians. No pastor knows the level of faith of another;only God the Father,the Son,and the Holy Spirit knows every man's faith. In fact,He alone is the author and finisher of our faith,and not the pastor. What a pastor with wisdom can do is to counsel the intending couple about the health implications of genotype SS and AS,and allow their faith to decide for them. Of course,he should surely tell the intending couple the unlimited ability and power of God. He would remind them that with God,all things are possible;and if their faith can sustain them and their children they will find happiness throughout their marriage. Therefore,it is a matter of choice for the intending couple to decide to either get married or separate. In Deuteronomy 30:19,God said, "I call heaven and earth to record this day against you,that I have set before you life and death,blessing and cursing; therefore choose life,that both thou and thy seed(children) may live." So,the choice is the exclusive right of the two who intend to be married together. The Church must as a matter of wisdom make medical test compulsory for every member seeking a life partner. They must conduct all necessary medical tests,including the HIV test,in order to give the best possible form of advice before joining two people in holy matrimony.

D only option now is get a divorce or face a very gruesome marriage. U knw y? Cos evry damn kid u produce has a 1/4 chance of being 'ss' nd trust me, no mata d love btw d couple, dah child would dissolve it wit no string of love left. Dnt let person deceive u o, PREVENTION BETA PASS CURE... Daz if d cure even dey sef...

Mariojane: Don't u guys go to church?

Op u can risk the marriage cos with my little research,u can only give birth to a sickle cell but d problem is d sickle cell can b ur first child. If only there is how to knw if it will b d third u can then give birth to just two kids. The solution is not to risk it cos d luv u hv for d guy will fade when d problem start


I am AA

abeg no dey lie giv pple joor, we got pple in medicine on nairaland too. Evry offspring can b ss depending on its genetic composition.. If dey re out of luck, all children, even if 12, cld b ss nd if dey lucky, all of dem cld be AA.

nerodenero: You can still love another,so,why cause pain for yourself and the children to come?When the wahala start,love go clear.

I kinda agree with you. Some one I dated broke up with me because of this same issue. It took time and I still think about him, but what if we had gone ahead and produced a child with sickle cell? Who knows? Maybe the stress would have ruined the relationship... Or not. You never know.... But why risk it?

The best option is never to get married. But if you believe you can't live without each other and have the money, then go for IVF with pre-implantation genetic diagnosis (PGD). As far as i know, it is not being done in Nigeria yet. Each attempt will cost about 5M. So the best option is really to move on! If you have an SS child, the strain may cause the collapse of the marriage because the quality of life for your family will decline, the wife will spend time in hospital, it may affect her job, the child will certainly not be happy with you! It is just not worth it!

berem: If you are gonna have four kids,one of the kid is going to be a sickler. Two will be carriers and one normal:


AA AS AS SS

Its likely the fourth child will be the sickler but its not in all cases

my uncle has 12children. How come non of them is a sickler?

rutchiekens:

Will u give him the money for bone marrow transplant.

i wont bt he could source it

zemaye:
Most people cannot afford it, that is not a practical approach o jare!

ya u r ryt

Mynd44:
You mean the same God that gave us medical advances?

Yes! u can not carry fire in ur bossom and not be burn

centje: no one is sure which child will be a sickler. The first could be the sickler. All the children could be sicklers. It's just a random event.

I have seem most cases where the sickle cell children starts from the fourth child. Just from my observation though.

Happy sunday dear!

englishmart: my uncle has 12children. How come non of them is a sickler?

that's not possible unless they are not both AS.

IYANGBALI: wake up dis is naija not america

i kno it aint naija,bt tinx happen

DBestDoc:

Sincerely speaking, is that what you would advice your patient?
Is bone marrow transplant a child's play? This is an advice you should give to a Leukemia patient who didn't bring the cancer upon himself and not someone who has clearly seen a ditch and has decided to jump into it.


It's true that he might not give birth to an SS child but it's also true that he can give birth to ALL SS kids. It's a random chance thingy more like gambling with the lives of his unborn and he has to choose wisely for posterity sake.


My 1 cent though!

ok ,u av a point though

@op get out of that relationship. sharp sharp

no matter what option you go for, a mistake in bed may result to an SS child, which may be ur undoing for life.

Genea: i wont bt he could source it

dats like deliberately infecting ursef wit d hiv virus cuz of a rumoured cure,y take all D risk if he can just walk away,honestly I dnt see dis ish as a topic worth debating on,I mean d pain d child goes tru,d stigma,d deformed looks,d incessant drugs,geeez!why? All cuz of some stewpid obsession or love? Its very hard breaking up with d one u love n t takes time to heal up dat I know cuz av gone tru such but t stil wudnt b at equilibrium wit d pains d future holds if @ d long run d gamble backfires,actually d ladies r at d receiving ends here cuz wen d crisis brews up d man can aswell seek for a divorce n marry anoda lady,buh goin back to square one wil b impossible for d lady avin wasted enof yrs n who knows dia myt b complications via her child bearing stages.....dia r lots of pple wit d AA genotype outdia,all u need is patience n a strong will....always feared a scenario like dis since i was a youth n I knew wat t means to b a SS carrier

Mynd44:
Why?

Isn't it funny that the same pastors that preach "Faith" and that "There is no situation that God can't change" are the ones writing this off? Is this a lack of Faith or a limitation of the abilities of "God"?

I believe God gave us the knowledge of medical science for our use and so we can make our lives better. He does not have to show up in our lives, he gave us knowledge so let's use it.
@OP,
IVF and/or Adoption

It is a lot better to have that and marry the person you love and you are happy with than leave that person and be miserable with the person you settle down with

I always have a problem with people equating 'faith' to some magic performing attribute of Christianity or people tempting God by trying to use his words against him.
If they were to have faith, what would they be believing God for? That their children will turn out AA?
I think I see reason with the advice 'if bearing your own children is a priority, otherwise you can go ahead with the relationship and adopt children or any of the many contemporary ways of 'getting children'.

Hmmm................we can't decide for you but we can give you a clue so dat you can conclude it,,,,,,,,,,,#final step to take#@OP "weigh the LOVE and the RISK,if the love out weigh the risk then,the option is YOUR FIRST TWO CHILDREN ARE SAFE HENCE STOP PROCREATION(under Law of PROPERBILITY 50%)"
__________________
May God's great Light shine on you and direct your heart....Amen+

berem: I have seem most cases where the sickle cell children starts from the fourth child. Just from my observation though.

Happy sunday dear!

Well i think you are also seeing a case where it is the first.\

Isiterere: op use your head but be ready to live with the consequence(s) of your action for the rest of your life . Proudly AA; given soccour to AS and SS since1900.
ALL IZZ WELL

Even though i see sarcasim all roung your post i couldnt agree much better. but i will say i do have a different view


@OP

"Men like us do not believe in God not after all we have seen." - Hector (Intelligence s01e05 22:22)

"The world is not a perfect place however we can make it better" - (Intelligence s01e08 )

My advice thus goes as follows.

1. if you love her then marry her and go for it. however be ready to consider ADOPTION, IVF as an option

------------------------------------------------------

inimes: It does not also imply or suggest that the pastor is encouraging faithlessness in the Church of Christ.

What a pastor with wisdom can do is to counsel the intending couple about the health implications of genotype SS and AS,and allow their faith to decide for them. Of course,he should surely tell the intending couple the unlimited ability and power of God.

In[b] Deuteronomy 30:19[/b],God said, "I call heaven and earth to record this day against you,that I have set before you life and death,blessing and cursing; therefore choose life,that both thou and thy seed(children) may live." So,the choice is the exclusive right of the two who intend to be married together. The Church must as a matter of wisdom make medical test compulsory for every member seeking a life partner. They must conduct all necessary medical tests,including the HIV test,in order to give the best possible form of advice before joining two people in holy matrimony.

How IRONIC could it be, when all this pains and suffering are caused by a so-called God of Love (1 John 4:. Please sir i mean no offence but i will like you to adjust your post, i see lies written all over it.

1. Faithlessness : Yes the pastor is encouraging that because he knows there is nothing god or whatever he is called can do.
2. Unlimited ability and power of god? : Why tell the poster more lies? Man God can change nothing. Please give me an account of where god change an SS to AA? where? stop all this god ability or power.

3. Deuteronomy 30:19 : Hmmm you read that passage and believe your god gives people freedom of choice? common. answer this question.

If i promise to give you a good life base on the ground that you wont go to a fiery tale place called Hell fire, is that what you call CHOICE?? please adjust that passage it should be rephrased as Condition and not CHOICE.


--------------------

englishmart: my uncle has 12children. How come non of them is a sickler?

We need proof that your uncle and his wife are AS. Else i mean no offence but this is pure fallacy.

---------------

there is an expensive test/scan to check the genotype of the foetus. if it's SS u terminate until you get an AA or AS. but do you want to go that far for love? as long as it is marriage, love is not enough.

I had the same experience when I wanted to marry, I was in love with an AS gal, but reason told me it's not an option as the fate of any sickle cell child produced from such union will hunt you forever.

I disengaged from the relationship and in less than 6 months God gave me an AA damsel, my wife today and the wisest decision I have ever taken in my life.

Faith in God is also about understanding when some things are not possible or meant for you and your ability not to waste your time on them, only then will the Almighty work his magic in your life!

Youngzedd: [/b]

E go clear 4 their eyes.

In Olamide's voice.

you will never know till u feel the pain. Presently, I'm facing the same situation. I ve what takes to get another lady at anytime I want, but I still feel the pain of trying to break a relationship with the best girl I ve ever known just because of this AS stuff. Prey u shouldn't be in such situation.

Mynd44:
Why?

Isn't it funny that the same pastors that preach "Faith" and that "There is no situation that God can't change" are the ones writing this off? Is this a lack of Faith or a limitation of the abilities of "God"?

I believe God gave us the knowledge of medical science for our use and so we can make our lives better. He does not have to show up in our lives, he gave us knowledge so let's use it.

@OP,
IVF and/or Adoption

It is a lot better to have that and marry the person you love and you are happy with than leave that person and be miserable with the person you settle down with

IVF May solve infertility issues but not cases of hemoglobin incompatibility. Its better safe than sorry. Adoption is not an easy decision to make. Spare urselves the unneccesary trauma and heartaches raising a sickler or thalassemic child. Spare d child some needless pain too.

rutchiekens:

Do not give the devil an opportunity.

U had a wonderful and healthy life as a child but u want to put the faith of your own children on PROBABILTY.

1 John 5:14
There is this passage also, I am the Lord of all flesh, is there anything too hard for me to do?

This topic should not even exist sef... They shud part ways or dey regret ever meeting each other...

Am saying dis cos d percentage of having sicklers as kids is very high... Dis cn lead to innocent children suffering,Ur income wasting,U feeling guilty everyday... So,whts d need? Abeg part ways is d only and best option...

My opinion... Mk Una nor chop me raw!

DjAndroid: I am also facing this situation now. though I am not yet married but we are both AS.

Bro, now that you both know your statuses, why not put a pause option on the relationship before it leads to marriage to avoid entering into the greatest nightmare and regret of your lives and blame it on the devil? Don't be selfish, Have mercy on those offspring.

Just go ahead, get married,and WHATEVER WILL BE WILL BE.

bakingsoda: there is an expensive test/scan to check the genotype of the foetus. if it's SS u terminate until you get an AA or AS. but do you want to go that far for love? as long as it is marriage, love is not enough.

fetuses in d womb have Fetal Hemoglobin HbF. The genes for other hemoglobin types(A,B,C,D,E,G,S, Cantor, zurich, hammersmith, ibadan etc) only manifests after 3 months of extra-uterine life. So i doubt if dat selective abortion is feasible. If d op loves his lover as he claims, he should let her go.

Is better you get over it op,60percent have once been in Ur shoes,am one thou, but life goes on and on.letting go is hard,but the pain and agony is the hardest.

zz

Dont knw y some ppl suddenly turn to fools all in the name of love. Let me ask u this, assuming u r a sickler n ur parents happen to be educated as to v known the consequences of getting married, will u be happy wt them? Tel urself the truth