*

Like James Bond. www.nairaland.com/1788642/octacore-jiayu-g4s-38k-gionee

bugativeron: I am a father who works in another state. Which is about 4hrs drive from where my family of a wife and 2 young children leave at. I try to be home every 2weeks and I speak with my wife like 5 or 6 times in a day this include early in d morning and late at night. But of recent I have noticed a trend in which I specially will make a lovely special dish for the family on sundays or saturday evening. This helps us to bond as a family. While wify and children watch tv I cook for them and serve them. Today it was a special jollof rice with chicken using one of my grand ma recipe. I realised this allow us to spend time together. Guys share your family bonding strategy.

AS A FATHER YOU MIGHT WANT ME TO CLAP FOR YOU.. I WILL NOT. I WILL TELL U SOMETHING CHILDREN AT FORMATIVE YEARS NEED BOTH PARENTS AROUND.I USED TO BE IN THIS POSITION BUT I REALISED THAT ITS NOT ALL ABOUT THE MONEY BUT FAMILY. THATS NUMBER ONE SO I TOLD her TO RELOCATE TO MY PLACE. YES IT MIGHT BE HARD INITIALY BUT AT LONG RUN U WILL SEE THE BENEFITS

JUST FOUR HOURS DRIVE ...TELL HER TO MOVE OR DO U HAVE A CONCUBINE .

tonychristopher:


AS A FATHER YOU MIGHT WANT ME TO CLAP FOR YOU.. I WILL NOT. I WILL TELL U SOMETHING CHILDREN AT FORMATIVE YEARS NEED BOTH PARENTS AROUND.I USED TO BE IN THIS POSITION BUT I REALISED THAT ITS NOT ALL ABOUT THE MONEY BUT FAMILY. THATS NUMBER ONE SO I TOLD her TO RELOCATE TO MY PLACE. YES IT MIGHT BE HARD INITIALY BUT AT LONG RUN U WILL SEE THE BENEFITS

JUST FOUR HOURS DRIVE ...TELL HER TO MOVE OR DO U HAVE A CONCUBINE .

Oga try and understand that no one likes to be far away from his family. I no its hard for u to understand, but keep trying....
@Topic: one good way of bo0nding is sharing stories and jokes and experiences with the kids. Going to the beach or any othere serene atmosphere helps a lot too

Well sorry sir, I feel for you, 'cause I can't imagine visiting my family every two weeks, the kids won't feel the fatherly love they always crave for, you just for their sake, You relocate them.

I plan informal family outings anytime I have two days holiday

I'm yet to b a father tho

NobleG1:

How old are you? 8?

the question should actually be how old are u nobleG1?

can u just get out of this thread already?! killjoy oshi

beeevan:


He took us to the zoo severally and he is very good at sampling weird foreign stuffs in packs at the super mart. There is one he bought and could not figure out how to prepare because everything on it was written in Chinese . He boiled it and it came out stretchy like bubble gum, He fried it and it puffed up and seem edible . We all dived in and started munching away, within 5 hours we were all sick, he had to load us in the car, straight to the family doc.
.

This cracked me and thanks for sharing

NobleG1:

How old are you? 8?

A good father that appreciates his family looks like a kid to you? Your type of mentality is why we've broken homes/marriages. You are still a kid so I wouldn't blame you.

Smartsyn: We watch the James Bond 007 classic together every Sunday..

And I use Top Bond on my sister's lips . she talks too much

oh lawd... lwkm

Well many men do not know the importance of bonding with family. They think it's all about bringing home money. Bring home the whole world and the mother who stays at home to share the world you bring for the children would be considered the greater parent.

If it was a thread complaining about women now, this thread would be 15 pages long. Seeing as real experiences to be shared are thin on ground goes to show that a lot of these men don't understand that what the op has shared is what it takes to be a real man, someone who values his family in thoughts and in action that goes beyond " at am the provider".
For those asking stupid questions, you can all fvck off from this thread. Life is about creating a balance, being away from his family is not something he would choose if there were better options available however he is making the best of the situation and I'm sure his kids and wife love him for this.
My dad wasn't around for long, but when he was, I have memories of dance competitions with him( he claimed he could moonwalk), I always beat him but he never conceded.
We would watch wrestling toether( he was obsessed with it) and also all out favourite cartoons, he was like a big kid.

Its a good one op,me and my wife too are apart,we see every weekend though,I try my best to make her happy whenever we see...hmm it has not been easy but I thank God. Well as for my father I began to feel that real bond when I got married,he always ask for our welfare and he is so concerned about our security.......Life is very funny...All I know is that I will try my possible best to be a good husband and a good Father!

shaybebaby: If it was a thread complaining about women now, this thread would be 15 pages long. Seeing as real experiences to be shared are thin on ground goes to show that a lot of these men don't understand that what the op has shared is what it takes to be a real man, someone who values his family in thoughts and in action that goes beyond " at am the provider".
For those asking stupid questions, you can all fvck off from this thread. Life is about creating a balance, being away from his family is not something he would choose if there were better options available however he is making the best of the situation and I'm sure his kids and wife love him for this.
My dad wasn't around for long, but when he was, I have memories of dance competitions with him( he claimed he could moonwalk), I always beat him but he never conceded.
We would watch wrestling toether( he was obsessed with it) and also all out favourite cartoons, he was like a big kid.

My sister, i read a story on Linda ikeji's blog. She saw a post made by a lady who said that she would never want to marry a man like her father so she posted it on her blog and wanted people to contribute their thoughts. You need to see experiences shared by people under that post. 99% of them had bad things to say about their fathers. Only very few had good stories. I was ashamed for some Nigerian Men. It goes too tell youu that most of our fathers did not take bonding with their wives and children serously. They were more traditional and had the mentality that providing financially only was the only purpose they had in life. I also noticed that most of comments revealed that their mothers were the sole breadwinner and their fathers happened to be either lazy/didnt care about their needs and preferred to spend money on girls outside. Infact, if their fathers had problems with their mothers, they would transfer their aggression to them the children. It would usually occur when their fathers start to keep mistresses outside. Their mothers turned out to be Heads of family, mother and father all in one.

Unfortunately, some modern men are begining to pick that generation's attitude towards family. As you can see from the comments here. Only few men like the Op know what being the Head, father and husband means. Kudos to him o. May God continue to bless him.

@beevan,ur story made me teary.

Sophyrocks:

Awwwwww. This is so touching. Every woman's wish is for a good father figure for her kids.

Thanks sophy .

OP, you are a good man. my dad has been a banker but he reserves the weekend for us, we do watch film together, he carries us on his back and cuts our nails (including my mum's). i was so close to him that i always missed him when i got to school. some days we drink garri and kuli in a big bowl (we all sit around the bowl), he cuts sugar cane into cubes and be giving us till it finishes. that man, i don't joke with him.

beeevan:



Thanks sophy .

You are welcome dear. I love father figures. They exude positivity in the home, a very awesome bond and instill good morals on their kids by being good examples. Only very few men are like that.

Sophyrocks:

You are welcome dear. I love father figures. They exude positivity in the home, a very awesome bond and instill good morals on their kids by being good examples. Only very few men are like that.

Yeah, some men are fathers but can't be husbands.

They re not here now to come and share their exploits. My father was awesome, he made meals before we came back from school. He looses my hair for me on weekends, he takes us on trips. Good fathers are now scarce, God bless u Op for taking care of ur family.

1. Bonding.......works like magic, keeps the family closer and united...... Father, do your job.
2. Be there for your kids
3. Love your wife and adore her, she's your queen. (mothers una to, make una support biko, e no easy eh! to love person no be beans)
4. Lead by example...you're not the worst dad if u don't have money you could at least have values....money is not everything..(quotemenot)
5. Always forgive your kids and wife too.....your pride is your pride but what is it if you have nothing.....
6. Compassion, every kid is a kid, whether yours or not!
7. You're not God! If you were? go make your own world elsewhere, this is God's own biko, all praise is for Him alone.
8. Your awards and titles count for nothing without your legacy of building a home for your kids to come back to...just one is enough...you can have more sha.
9. I don't know why Dad's to me are a nuisance but i still love my Dad (He's annoying though)...i suggest you love yours too.
10. Men don't change! true but i don't think that's a valid statement to hold on to for any reason at all.
11. Women...............please! You're more than what you portray yourselves as now..... don't get carried away.

tonychristopher:


AS A FATHER YOU MIGHT WANT ME TO CLAP FOR YOU.. I WILL NOT. I WILL TELL U SOMETHING CHILDREN AT FORMATIVE YEARS NEED BOTH PARENTS AROUND.I USED TO BE IN THIS POSITION BUT I REALISED THAT ITS NOT ALL ABOUT THE MONEY BUT FAMILY. THATS NUMBER ONE SO I TOLD her TO RELOCATE TO MY PLACE. YES IT MIGHT BE HARD INITIALY BUT AT LONG RUN U WILL SEE THE BENEFITS

JUST FOUR HOURS DRIVE ...TELL HER TO MOVE OR DO U HAVE A CONCUBINE .

There are thousands of Nigerians working in the field in remote locations. Thousands on rigs to bring you the oil that Nigeria sells to pay your salary. Thousands working in remote areas to string up PHCN electricity poles. Thousands in the Army, wading into Sambisa forest to fight Boko Haram. Thousands on remote construction sites to dualize major highways. All fathers of children and husbands to wives. And you sit here with your judgemental attitude, spitting on them because of your own unique situation.

You should feel ashamed for your post.

It's not always about the quantity of time. It's about the QUALITY.
I too live apart from my family due to work...it's not a perfect situation but it's what many people find themselves in. Especially in a bid to generate income to ensure those kids have the best possible upbringing. Families can still bond even when there's distance. There are multiple forms of communication, and you can still communicate effectively over a distance.

kevoh: OP nice one. Definitely going to be stealing some good ideas from this thread!

same here. that is the reason I read the thread. I'm not married yet but I sometimes think of ways I can make my family very happy and this thread is giving more ideas. thanks OP

beeevan:


Yeah, some men are fathers but can't be husbands.

True. Some are good at parenting but not good as husbands. some people have been priviledged to have a good father who is also a good husband to their mothers. I think they should go hand in hand afterall that is expected of a woman too.

Sophyrocks:

True. Some are good at parenting but not good as husbands. some people have been priviledged to have a good father who is also a good husband to their mothers. I think they should go hand in hand afterall that is expected of a woman too.

Very correct!

Sophyrocks:

True. Some are good at parenting but not good as husbands. some people have been priviledged to have a good father who is also a good husband to their mothers. I think they should go hand in hand afterall that is expected of a woman too.

Totally agree with you. The two should not be mutually exclusive as ensuring that your kids grow up in a household with both parents happy with each other sets examples of how they in turn would expect their marriages to be. There are many facets to being a parent as I have discovered myself.
A happy mummy and daddy leads to a happy childhood for the kids and they grow up to be confident. Now kids are very sensitive and pick up bad vibes even when it is not directed at them.
My little man for instance doesn't react when me and hubby have slanging matches but for days after, he's withdrawn and won't interact with us. That's because at those instances, out unhappiness with each other troubles him( he's only two by the way).
We noticed this and this was a wake up call to work on out issues in a better way, I'm happier, daddy is happier and the change in my son is tremendous. You can tell that nothing makes him happier and more secure than when mummy and daddy are making gooey eyes at each other and he gets to butt in. Sometimes, he even arranges us on the sofa to sit together and watch him perform and act cute for us.
In essence, the greatest gift we can give our children( both dads and mums) is time with each other( however little), taking time to look after ourselves as individuals, as part of a couple and also together as a family. There must be a balance and none must be done to the detriment of the other or any other member of the family unit.
Now for all the sicko men on nairaland like that tonychristopher, they are certainly a product of childhoods where their fathers were the examples of what they want to emulate today. To admit that there is more to being a man, husband and father to themselves means they would have to look at their role models critically. Now that would shake them to the core so they close their eyes and continue propagating the ignorance of those that came before them.

NobleG1:

Your father did wrong but two wrongs most times don't make right.
Remember, you only have one father. Reconcile with him now he's still alive. It will make you a better person.

av heard u sir. tenx

shaybebaby:
Totally agree with you. The two should not be mutually exclusive as ensuring that your kids grow up in a household with both parents happy with each other sets examples of how they in turn would expect their marriages to be. There are many facets to being a parent as I have discovered myself.
A happy mummy and daddy leads to a happy childhood for the kids and they grow up to be confident. Now kids are very sensitive and pick up bad vibes even when it is not directed at them.
My little man for instance doesn't react when me and hubby have slanging matches but for days after, he's withdrawn and won't interact with us. That's because at those instances, out unhappiness with each other troubles him( he's only two by the way).
We noticed this and this was a wake up call to work on out issues in a better way, I'm happier, daddy is happier and the change in my son is tremendous. You can tell that nothing makes him happier and more secure than when mummy and daddy are making gooey eyes at each other and he gets to butt in. Sometimes, he even arranges us on the sofa to sit together and watch him perform and act cute for us.
In essence, the greatest gift we can give our children( both dads and mums) is time with each other( however little), taking time to look after ourselves as individuals, as part of a couple and also together as a family. There must be a balance and none must be done to the detriment of the other or any other member of the family unit.
Now for all the sicko men on nairaland like that tonychristopher, they are certainly a product of childhoods where their fathers were the examples of what they want to emulate today. To admit that there is more to being a man, husband and father to themselves means they would have to look at their role models critically. Now that would shake them to the core so they close their eyes and continue propagating the ignorance of those that came before them.

Awww. How cute of your son.


Yes, a lot of these men were not brought up by father figures and so they tend to follow the same paths their fathers took thinking that is what makes them men. They really do not know what it means to be responsible fathers and husbands. Their fathers did not teach them so. There is so much emphasis on females being good wives and mothers. They do not always address the need for men to set good examples simply because they believe men are free to be whatever they like. This belief is responsible for the numerous dysfunctional homes we have. This is why parents should train their Sons to be good husbands and fathers. Well, there are a few exceptions and im glad we have men like the Op.

As for that tonychr1stopher, please dnt pay attention to him o. For im mind, e be better husband as he allows his wife to relocate but that guy bonds with numerous mistresses much more than his wife o. A man who keeps girlfriends outside will not have the time for quality bonding with his wife or see the need for it. The jezebels outside will occupy his mind. Ive read his comments on some threads. He isnt a good father and husband figure. People should not take his comment seriously.

we de boyz were always absconin @ d sight of d man, despite d facts he wasnt staying with us (him in Maiduguri, we d family in lafia) and he only comes 1s in after a month to stay 4a week....a week of fear on us d boys jst because we always wanted to be playing, while my Dad wants us 2b serious with our studies.

bt when he retired n came back home, oboi, come see father-daughters relation. he takes them to school evry day, loose their hair n take them 2d saloon 4a new one, visits them almost evry week in school...the relation is jst gr8t.

despite my being an Architect, at a point, i jst wish my dad was more around me as boy, i mgt have been more wiser. love you dad.