pickabeau1:


it did raise dust even here on NL
let me find the link https://www.nairaland.com/1813653/dear-married-men-powerful-messages#24703016

But remember the dimension for the men centres on loving and cherishing your woman as part of you
However the part of the women centres on one word that some women detest and abhor - submission
A very simple word but which evokes powerful emotions.

on your assertions on 60 percent.. i doubt that
Looking at the tweets.. out of 49 tweets only 6 dealt with sex
Much of the rest deals with respect which is actually very important in a relationship

What were you even raising dust for?
Ok this part keeps cracking me up

Be sensitive to your husband’s physical needs even when you’re tired. You can do all things thro’ Christ who strengthens you.

But i agree with this in it's totality

The successful mathematics in marriage is to give 100% and expect nothing in return.

Good morning

UjSizzle:
What were you even raising dust for?
Ok this part keeps cracking me up



But i agree with this in it's totality


Good morning

People see different things in different ways
We discuss then come to a common point .. That's why there is dust

Morning to you also...

What people need to understand is that the message is for SANE married men and women.
A sane spouse will not take a good husband for granted because he does these things neither would a sane wife. Infact, when a couple is grounded No Pastor needs to write you a list, hence I cannot over empahsis the need and reason for DATING.

Dating is the time and period to know your spouse, work collectively on issues that may become problem, it is not a period to hook a spouse by fire by force or by pretence because "all my mates are marrying".
Marrying the wrong Person would make time stand still as pain and hurt never ends it just keeps transforming so be patient, date if it doesnt work and the person you are with doesnt want to manke an effort dont MANAGE, MOVE ON. Believe me I did a lot and some people were saying nasty things maybe I was cursed, cant I settle down etc. Now I have peace because I knew what I wanted and waited for Him.
I dont need Pastor Rapus list I do any of these for my Husband in a heartbeat and he doesnt disrespect or take it for granted and he does much more than the list for me in a heartbeat.
When the list for men came out a friend sent it to me and asked that I forward to Hubby and my response was "He doesnt need it, he does this and much more"
Marriage is not a competition, it is a union for 2 people ready to make each other happy. If you are with someone who cannot sacrifice any comfort for you and you go ahead and marry them then you will spend all your life plotting and counter plotting, I know because I had relationships, while my friends were grabbing and marrying I was saying NO CHEATING is not a standard I would accept and I was called delusional. Till I met the man who also didnt accept cheating as a standard I refused to settle, I would have prefered to remain single had I not met him.

Create your own standard and stick to it, find someone who shares your values then you wouldnt need a list to treat each other like you are meant too

aisha2: What people need to understand is that the message is for SANE married men and women.
A sane spouse will not take a good husband for granted because he does these things neither would a sane wife. Infact, when a couple is grounded No Pastor needs to write you a list, hence I cannot over empahsis the need and reason for DATING.

Dating is the time and period to know your spouse, work collectively on issues that may become problem, it is not a period to hook a spouse by fire by force or by pretence because "all my mates are marrying".
Marrying the wrong Person would make time stand still as pain and hurt never ends it just keeps transforming so be patient, date if it doesnt work and the person you are with doesnt want to manke an effort dont MANAGE, MOVE ON. Believe me I did a lot and some people were saying nasty things maybe I was cursed, cant I settle down etc. Now I have peace because I knew what I wanted and waited for Him.
I dont need Pastor Rapus list I do any of these for my Husband in a heartbeat and he doesnt disrespect or take it for granted and he does much more than the list for me in a heartbeat.
When the list for men came out a friend sent it to me and asked that I forward to Hubby and my response was "He doesnt need it, he does this and much more"
Marriage is not a competition, it is a union for 2 people ready to make each other happy. If you are with someone who cannot sacrifice any comfort for you and you go ahead and marry them then you will spend all your life plotting and counter plotting, I know because I had relationships, while my friends were grabbing and marrying I was saying NO CHEATING is not a standard I would accept and I was called delusional. Till I met the man who also didnt accept cheating as a standard I refused to settle, I would have prefered to remain single had I not met him.

Create your own standard and stick to it, find someone who shares your values then you wouldnt need a list to treat each other like you are meant too

I agree that such lists are not needed...if parents taught their children the proper values. But look around at sociey today. Do parents look like they even know what values are, to say nothing of proper ones? I think the lists are not out of place because people need to be taught how to be human at some point in their lives. If their parents have failed, perhaps a pastor won't. If he does too, maybe the state will through the police and prison wardens or maybe executioner.

ihedinobi2:
I agree that such lists are not needed...if parents taught their children the proper values. But look around at sociey today. Do parents look like they even know what values are, to say nothing of proper ones? I think the lists are not out of place because people need to be taught how to be human at some point in their lives. If their parents have failed, perhaps a pastor won't. If he does too, maybe the state will through the police and prison wardens or maybe executioner.

I never said the LIST WAS NOT NEEDED, I said if you take your time know what you want and marry for the right reasons you wouldnt need a list, please read and comprehend before attack

Sophyrocks:

Of course yes its an Ego problem. At least we women in this thread agreed with a lot of what was said here in the Op. But compare it with the reaction gotten from Men in the other thread. It was a war zone. You were even the first to counter the pastor. You mockingly called him a pastor for women. Come On!! Dnt pretend.
you disagreed with absolutely everything that was said in that post for married men. Shows Ego will continue to be a Huge problem for you guys. You are all immune to counsel but want women to be counselled. Pffffft.

what i saw on twitter is that the pst got few responses to the #MarriedMen tweet series. But the #MarriedWomen tweet series got overwhelming negative response.

What does that tell you?

craziebone:

what i saw on twitter is that the pst got few responses to the #MarriedMen tweet series. But the #MarriedWomen tweet series got overwhelming negative response.

cococandy: What does that tell you?

it tells us that people (men and women) are ok with the #MarriedMen hence no much anti pastor sentiment there.

But many people especially white ladies were against the pastor's #MerriedWomen tweets. They called him all sorts of names ranging from Misogynist to backward to someone supporting opperession.

aisha2:

I never said the LIST WAS NOT NEEDED, I said if you take your time know what you want and marry for the right reasons you wouldnt need a list, please read and comprehend before attack

That wasn't an attack. I quite admire the fact that you are among the people who know what is right and stuck to it even when it was inconvenient.

Why marriage remains the thesis of a Nigerian woman's life is beyond me.

obowunmi: Why marriage remains the thesis of a Nigerian woman's life is beyond me.

Not only nigerian.. all women

When single,.. they think of it
When married.. they face the realities
When there is no suitor .. they rail against men..

But heck... we need women too

pickabeau1:

Not only nigerian.. all women

When single,.. they think of it
When married.. they face the realities
When there is no suitor .. they rail against men..

But heck... we need women too

co-sign on the last statement

ihedinobi2:
That wasn't an attack. I quite admire the fact that you are among the people who know what is right and stuck to it even when it was inconvenient.

Its fine, just wondered why after all I wrote their it was something I didnt say that you actually picked on.

On waiting for the right thing, no one would be there to suffer with you if you dont do it right so its actually common sense convienent or not

craziebone:

co-sign on the last statement

Why not co-sign on the rest?

aisha2:

Its fine, just wondered why after all I wrote their it was something I didnt say that you actually picked on.

On waiting for the right thing, no one would be there to suffer with you if you dont do it right so its actually common sense convienent or not

I was both buttressing your point about doing what is right as well as moderating it. I wasn't attacking it at all. The moderation was essentially that it is generally insane people who need doses of sanity every now and then even if they attack the dispenser of those doses.

ihedinobi2:
Why not co-sign on the rest?

becos when a man fills his head with such things, it doesnt take him anything to start gender bashing. I make conscious effort to stay away from that.

craziebone:

becos when a man fills his head with such things, it doesnt take him anything to start gender bashing. I make conscious effort to stay away from that.

Very interesting thing to say.

How do you think your current reaction affects men? Have you ever thought how terrible it is to be vulnerable to someone who takes advantage of that vulnerability to hurt you? I bet you have. That is probably why you don't like the public showing of a woman's vulnerability to men.

Both sides have the same problem. They need each other but by the same token can hurt each other in terrifying ways. The battle to gain independence of either is what is destroying homes and whole societies today. Don't you think it's a tragedy?

ihedinobi2:
I was both buttressing your point about doing what is right as well as moderating it. I wasn't attacking it at all. The moderation was essentially that it is generally insane people who need doses of sanity every now and then even if they attack the dispenser of those doses.

Wow, how much does Seun pay for "moderating" other peoples comments these days? Must be some lucurative gig.
Like I WROTE adults should make good choices save themselves from back and forth with "100 things to do and 1000 things not to do"

ihedinobi2:
Very interesting thing to say.

How do you think your current reaction affects men? Have you ever thought how terrible it is to be vulnerable to someone who takes advantage of that vulnerability to hurt you? I bet you have. That is probably why you don't like the public showing of a woman's vulnerability to men.

Both sides have the same problem. They need each other but by the same token can hurt each other in terrifying ways. The battle to gain independence of either is what is destroying homes and whole societies today. Don't you think it's a tragedy?

you are ABSOLUTELY right!

damiso: Nice points both for the women and the men...nice to see points given for BOTH parties and not just one party.

Nashville hello nice to see you around.

My sister, how you dey? Hope family is aight!

Tony Rapu basically repeated the same message he gave men to the women and he is suddenly a villian. I just wonder why this message has become a big issue.

Why are the 'feminists' getting emotional.

We don't need a list of dos and don'ts to make a marriage work.

Too much of these lists are destroying relationships and marriages.

Marriage is so simple, yet we always find ways to make it so complicated.

Genuine love, respect and submission from both parties are the ingredients to successful marriage.

Nashville:

My sister, how you dey? Hope family is aight!

Tony Rapu basically repeated the same message he gave men to the women and he is suddenly a villian. I just wonder why this message has become a big issue.

I dey o and family is very well,thank God for his mercies.hope yours are too?

I went on the #tweetliketonyrapu and it was hilarious That's the thin slope with social media when you say something it's out there and a lot of things are just taken out of context.

damiso:

True sha you have a point...the bias and prejudice is amplified due to anonymity. Thats Life sha if only..

Even the Good book says the heart of man is desperately wicked so I guess Hate will always be in the world.

Yea, you are right

aisha2:

Wow, how much does Seun pay for "moderating" other peoples comments these days? Must be some lucurative gig.
Like I WROTE adults should make good choices save themselves from back and forth with "100 things to do and 1000 things not to do"

I have no bone to pick with you.

craziebone:

you are ABSOLUTELY right!

Well, if I'm right, we are better off stopping the constant race to see who can hurt the other the most and just enjoy being male or female. Being male is not better than being female. Nor is being female better than being male. The envy is pointless.

If you're Christian, then you hold that the woman was created for the man. That is the Christian position. But that fact does not make the woman inferior in quality. If anything, it proves that she is necessary to the man. So why do women need to destroy the very meaning of womanhood? And in doing so destroy the point of manhood as well? Men are the egotistical, undependable, irresponsible lot that some of them are today because their mothers taught them to become that.

That's why I think that Pastor Rapu made a timely move. Perhaps in the midst of all that furor, some people are really reexamining themselves and asking questions. Perhaps men are really asking what it means to be a man and women are really wondering if they were taught what womanhood really is.

We should stop being afraid that men are out to get us if we are women and vice versa and just exult in being man or woman and make sure to play our part without acrimony. In the event that we are taken for granted, we should disengage and move on because we know that we are worth something and people like us do exist who will appreciate that value we carry. No point in being bitter.

True words...ihedinobi2

ihedinobi2:
Well, if I'm right, we are better off stopping the constant race to see who can hurt the other the most and just enjoy being male or female. Being male is not better than being female. Nor is being female better than being male. The envy is pointless.
If you're Christian, then you hold that the woman was created for the man. That is the Christian position. But that fact does not make the woman inferior in quality. If anything, it proves that she is necessary to the man. So why do women need to destroy the very meaning of womanhood? And in doing so destroy the point of manhood as well? Men are the egotistical, undependable, irresponsible lot that some of them are today because their mothers taught them to become that.
That's why I think that Pastor Rapu made a timely move. Perhaps in the midst of all that furor, some people are really reexamining themselves and asking questions. Perhaps men are really asking what it means to be a man and women are really wondering if they were taught what womanhood really is.
We should stop being afraid that men are out to get us if we are women and vice versa and just exult in being man or woman and make sure to play our part without acrimony. In the event that we are taken for granted, we should disengage and move on because we know that we are worth something and people like us do exist who will appreciate that value we carry. No point in being bitter.

Now this I fully agree with.
Everyone should just know thier part and do thier part. If you do 70 percent of the work in a relationship please move on. It is not your job to bribe anyone into loving you by (men) spending your whole income so she can keep up a lifestyle you cant afford. (women): cooking, cleaning and scrubing pretending that you dont see the disrespectful things he is doing all because you just want to "get them" then after marriage transfer and release of pent up aggression starts.

There is SOMEONE for EVERYONE, I say this because against all odds I know, practiced and believed this.

Dont stay with someone who seems to think being with you is a favor. Not all men cheat, not all women are gold diggers, some women dont mind cheating men and some men like gold digging women, let everyone find what they want in a partner what works for them and build their lives and raise healthy kids.
Our races are all different, stop competing even within the sexes and enjoy the beautiful blessings of life.

Life on its own has loads of challenges, being with a bad partner just because you were in a hurry to marry will just make the challenges hell, however being with the right partner will make lifes challenges a lot more bearable.
You get married and have a stillbirth and imagine having a spouse who is not supportive through this hmmmmm it is well.

Life is not a race, marriage is not a race, calm down and do what works for you