Ishilove:
Are you allergic to condoms?

fredabrown: Growing up without a father figure has a profound effect on boys that lasts into manhood. Boys need a father figure to learn how to be a man. Without having this influence in their lives, boys are at risk of growing into men who have problems with behavior, emotional stability, and relationships with both significant others and their own children.

Men who grow up without a father figure also have more problems bonding with their own children, writes Hartwell-Walker. Having never experienced a father-son bond, they are unsure of how to develop that relationship with their own children. Men who had absent fathers are more likely to be absent fathers themselves. These men were also never taught how to have healthy relationships with women and tend to have higher break-up and divorce rates than men who grow up with a father’s influence


A good relationship with his father teaches a son to better solve problems, allowing him, as a man, to deal with everyday stress in more useful ways. According to Schwartz, men who grow up without paternal influence are also more likely to experience depression and anxiety.

The Impact of Fathers on Cognitive Ability and Educational Achievement

Children with involved, caring fathers have better educational outcomes. A number of studies suggest that fathers who are involved, nurturing, and playful with their infants have children with higher IQs, as well as better linguistic and cognitive capacities.9 Toddlers with involved fathers go on to start school with higher levels of academic readiness. They are more patient and can handle the stresses and frustrations associated with schooling more readily than children with less involved fathers.10

The influence of a father's involvement on academic achievement extends into adolescence and young adulthood. Numerous studies find that an active and nurturing style of fathering is associated with better verbal skills, intellectual functioning, and academic achievement among adolescents.11 For instance, a 2001 U.S. Department of Education study found that highly involved biological fathers had children who were 43 percent more likely than other children to earn mostly As and 33 percent less likely than other children to repeat a grade

rozzay: Moda nd son

CoachDX: It's unfortunate that some men are beasts while some ladies are fools. Except for a rape case, every other was a mutual agreement!

Most of these single parents become one when they were teens. . .blame it on their parents. . .lack of good sex education. . .urge to explore. . .peer pressure. . .whatever might have.

I'm presently on the case of a 14years old girl, she got impregnated by a neighbour. The beast knew what has happened, locked up his room and disappeared. All through the months, i was told he didn't show up. The girl gave birth some weeks ago and last Sunday, i had to leave my office for her to breast feed the innocent baby and when she was done. . .i asked her some questions. I found out that:

1) You never can be too sure of your girl/boy-child esp teens.

2) There are always signs that such would happen which the parents/guardian refused to respond to.

3) Most parents thinks sex education is exposing the child or maybe it's unholy to discuss.

4) A teenager will do whatsoever he/she would do even if you break his/her head to put words in there but if you emphasize on the damage, it could help in decision making.

That girl's case, made it the 4th of similar cases. In all, i came to a conclusion that being a single parent is a choice, it's not a matter of how life is unfair or how life is not a bed of roses.

If you blame the guy for disappearing, why did you give in? If you laments that he promised you marriage, why not wait till then or better still use proper protection. There's nothing like "we only tried it the first time". . .as long as the dude pours it in, it's 75% chance of getting pregnant except on a well calculated menses period which i believe most women are not even sure about. Outside wedlock, it's not the route to walk. . .almost everything in your life stops except you're extra-determined.

onyaigo: wow!!!!that is a handsome boy..God bless and keep you both...

Dapso2007: my own story as a single father is a pathetic one, my first love got pregnat for me at 21yrs I was 25yrs then she insisted on abortion but I persuaded her to keep the baby that all will be ok cos I love her though I wasn't working then and as God hav it she delivered a baby Girl very beautiful girl but since I wasn't that rich the mother inlaw did not approved our union, I tried my best for my baby from Nans, Nutrend and pampers I could n't abandone my baby cos I'm an emotional person and since childhood my baby girl is with the mother inlaw , wen she turned 2yrs I enrow her in kindergarten but during this period her mother my suppose wife Got married to a man from her mothers office I requested for custody of my daugther @ 7yrs but the inlaw refused to give me. Each time I visit her she'll insist on following me but she'll not be allowed,she's now 12yrs old in js2 I decided not to file any case against them rather concentrate on my future, the inlaw blocked every process of my closeness to my daughter by keeping her away from calling me , withdrawing handset that I gave her refusing her to come to my family during holidays and I'm now 38yrs working and comfortable but still sigle what do I do ? Pls I need advice.....

freecocoa: I have a very good friend who's a single mum, her very pretty daughter is almost 2 years, it wasn't and still isn't easy for her but we all try to be there for her in any way we can, the most painful thing was watching her baby daddy make preparations for his wedding while she was almost due.

This guy promised her marriage and all, plus she didn't even get pregnant on purpose, whenever she requested a condom he'll say sex wasn't pleasurable that way, she let her guard down, gave her all and when she got pregnant, the whole story changed.

Too many sad memories but her cute girl makes her happy, the only problem now is that she believes no man is worth it anymore(believe me her story sad gan), I keep praying she changes her mind and that the man for her will come.

onyaigo: Anyway...for me sha oooo....it happened when I was a teen,i took in immediately i got disvirgined.....it wasn't funny then....going to school,,,the stigma,,the gossip,,,,breaking my family's heart,,,emotional,,,psychological,,,mental trauma(na die)....thank God I never did an abortion(i for done die of heart attack)....today am a better,,stronger,,prettier,,,classier lady......its been from one blessing to another since then(i can't fit shout).........I have learnt that love ain't sex,,relationship is for the matured in mind,,parents know your kids in and out,make them your best friend.....my advice is,,,no Sex before marriage(u r entitled to ur opinion so don't give me dat look)..,,love is not a feeling but a choice u make,,,,if it is easy getting the right partner we all would have been married by now so chill and be the best you can be(your own dey road)......brb.

rozzay: . Amen sweery, bless u nd ur son too

blackgold7777: Hw old is ur bady?she's four yrs...

Omolehinme: yes,am a graduate

Omolehinme: yes,am a graduate

Amusaopeyemi: I grew up without a father, i'm an only child and I graduated at the age of 20, i'll be serving next month. I'm proud of who i've grown up to be.
My mom was an iron lady tho, she takes no nonsense. Died last year.

ollins: @OP thanks for creating this thread,have been looking for something like this where we can share our stories.
Well in my case,when growing up never did i belive i would be a single dad,but you know how these things can be.
had an excellent education and all that,pry to uni allin lagos.after finishing university started looking for a job but was very difficult getting one,decided to set up my own business which by the way is very succesfull today to which i give thanks to BABAGOD.along the line i met this lady and we started a relationship,one thing led to another and she became pregrant but then man never ready,my business was just starting,to feed sef na big wahala then,she had the baby but things didnt just work out between us,so many things which i dont want to go into details but now that i am more mature now i look back and i belive some faults too lied with me but then all that is water under the bridge now as the mother of my son is with another man now.
my son whom i love so much will be 8 this year,very handsome and inteeligent,whenever i see him i feel no regrets whatsoever.i love him so much.my worry today is where to find a woman who would accept and love my son as her own,but where can one find such a woman?i belive one day sha but for now,me and my boy is one strong team

onyaigo: amen..is a girl tho..

CoachDX: It's unfortunate that some men are beasts while some ladies are fools. Except for a rape case, every other was a mutual agreement!

Most of these single parents become one when they were teens. . .blame it on their parents. . .lack of good sex education. . .urge to explore. . .peer pressure. . .whatever might have.

I'm presently on the case of a 14years old girl, she got impregnated by a neighbour. The beast knew what has happened, locked up his room and disappeared. All through the months, i was told he didn't show up. The girl gave birth some weeks ago and last Sunday, i had to leave my office for her to breast feed the innocent baby and when she was done. . .i asked her some questions. I found out that:

1) You never can be too sure of your girl/boy-child esp teens.

2) There are always signs that such would happen which the parents/guardian refused to respond to.

3) Most parents thinks sex education is exposing the child or maybe it's unholy to discuss.

4) A teenager will do whatsoever he/she would do even if you break his/her head to put words in there but if you emphasize on the damage, it could help in decision making.

That girl's case, made it the 4th of similar cases. In all, i came to a conclusion that being a single parent is a choice, it's not a matter of how life is unfair or how life is not a bed of roses.

If you blame the guy for disappearing, why did you give in? If you laments that he promised you marriage, why not wait till then or better still use proper protection. There's nothing like "we only tried it the first time". . .as long as the dude pours it in, it's 75% chance of getting pregnant except on a well calculated menses period which i believe most women are not even sure about. Outside wedlock, it's not the route to walk. . .almost everything in your life stops except you're extra-determined.

Dapso2007: my own story as a single father is a pathetic one, my first love got pregnat for me at 21yrs I was 25yrs then she insisted on abortion but I persuaded her to keep the baby that all will be ok cos I love her though I wasn't working then and as God hav it she delivered a baby Girl very beautiful girl but since I wasn't that rich the mother inlaw did not approved our union, I tried my best for my baby from Nans, Nutrend and pampers I could n't abandone my baby cos I'm an emotional person and since childhood my baby girl is with the mother inlaw , wen she turned 2yrs I enrow her in kindergarten but during this period her mother my suppose wife Got married to a man from her mothers office I requested for custody of my daugther @ 7yrs but the inlaw refused to give me. Each time I visit her she'll insist on following me but she'll not be allowed,she's now 12yrs old in js2 I decided not to file any case against them rather concentrate on my future, the inlaw blocked every process of my closeness to my daughter by keeping her away from calling me , withdrawing handset that I gave her refusing her to come to my family during holidays and I'm now 38yrs working and comfortable but still sigle what do I do ? Pls I need advice.....

sage2:

May her soul rest in peace, my dear. so unfortunate she did not live to see your lovely and promising kids. But we still give thanks to God for everything.

rozzay: Moda nd son

onyaigo: you should know better sir,,,why would you come to a conclusion just from 4 cases,,,,,smh shaaa..

onyaigo: Anyway...for me sha oooo....it happened when I was a teen,i took in immediately i got disvirgined.....it wasn't funny then....going to school,,,the stigma,,the gossip,,,,breaking my family's heart,,,emotional,,,psychological,,,mental trauma(na die)....thank God I never did an abortion(i for done die of heart attack)....today am a better,,stronger,,prettier,,,classier lady......its been from one blessing to another since then(i can't fit shout).........I have learnt that love ain't sex,,relationship is for the matured in mind,,parents know your kids in and out,make them your best friend.....my advice is,,,no Sex before marriage(u r entitled to ur opinion so don't give me dat look)..,,love is not a feeling but a choice u make,,,,if it is easy getting the right partner we all would have been married by now so chill and be the best you can be(your own dey road)......brb.

Jambsupport: wow. xo xperienced. wot else do u knw abt women?

CoachDX:
Oh thanks!
What else? Maybe they stalk more than men.

Jambsupport: n wots dat supposed to mean?

spicy244: Had mah son wen I was in skul n d dad was just too selfish and not serious. I bet you, raising a child all by yoursef is not easy. Buh I thank God for making mii a gud mum n a best dad for mah son. I'm proud of him anywhere, anytime. The fact still remain that pple see it as a stigma buh as for mii, I don't care. Even prefer to remain ma single mum for life than having one yeye hubby dat wud later make mii choose btw him n mah son.


its bin God all the way. I LOVE ma son n God BLESS him for mii

Youngpo413:


if you love the mama,wetin go stop you from loving the pikin join?smh for some men.