DonOms:


It can be very interesting and informative, yes.
You're welcome.

Tanchu plenty

SaintMog:
I will describe myself as 50/50. I start conversation well. I keep relationship but I hardly visit or go out on socials. Luckily for me, I'm a part time pastor in rccg. My being introverted assist me in study hence I have other commitments. But I'm trying now to up the 50% extro because I have just launched into entrepreneurship.

But sir, I think introversion Is for young people..

DonOms:


Hello Dsholla,

The What'sApp group had often been suggested here but unfortunately, a number of us feel it isn't necessary since many introverts like it private and also because this thread seem adequate enough. However, if you do create such group and announce here, those who do not mind can join.

I agree, you may go ahead and create the group then ask for pepo who will be interested.. ur approach may not work for obvious reasons

Weezybaby:


I agree, you may go ahead and create the group then ask for pepo who will be interested.. ur approach may not work for obvious reasons

Lol @ for obvious reasons. Even some introverts don't know that many other introverts really like space and privacy, and would hardly trade them for anything - even company of fellow unknown introverts.

SkinnyDude:
But sir, I think introversion Is for young people..

The young grow old. A personality trait knows no age.

.

Am new here i have been an introvert all my life a lots of people friends/families thought maybe something is wrong with me.
If i need something i just keep mute, until my parent notice my mood and ask
I hardly talk to my colleagues.
Thats just my personality. I dont know how to start a conversation with girls,
I only stick to my studies, watch movies, play games, and surf the net.
How do i get out of this bondage
Because no matter how i try to something inside me keep pulling i.e i feel uncomfortable, is there anything i can do pls help me

Demmtek:
Am new here i have been an introvert all my life a lots of people friends/families thought maybe something is wrong with me.
If i need something i just keep mute, until my parent notice my mood and ask
I hardly talk to my colleagues.
Thats just my personality. I dont know how to start a conversation with girls,
I only stick to my studies, watch movies, play games, and surf the net.
How do i get out of this bondage
Because no matter how i try to something inside me keep pulling i.e i feel uncomfortable, is there anything i can do pls help me

We're the same bro.
I like to "compensate" for it by being the best at everything I do, that way when boys are singing about clubbing and how you're afraid of people, they'll also revere you for constant outside the box thinking.

Mine is not easy, I'm the firstborn and my height doesn't help me in being discreet. And my use of left hand always makes me center of topics.

If we must have a group chat, let it be telegram and not whatsapp cos you can see previous messages before you entered the group and also files are easier to share on telegram.

I'm 100% introvet my normal thing is from work to house or church for weekly activities and lock myself inside watching films or surfing the Internet sometimes or study my bible. I don't interact with neighbours( don't like people coming to my apartment ). I don't go to party except if it's church thing that I need to officiate from there house. I unwind only by going to olomo rock( a place in abeokuta here)for someone that is familiar with Abeokuta. Now the issue it I need to settle down.Please how can a lady like me get a suitable guy now that have been out school. Can anyone help me in the house with this isssue

[quote author=Dsholla post=58873323]Haylo my introv family! I guess we cld create a whatsapp forum to enable us pour our heartache, memories and experiences for closer monitoring and advices.... more like i cnt relate with any sort of pple except those who understand and knws how I feel

I concur.... Create it n share d link

.

Weezybaby:
How does an introV breakup with a suspected cheat?
I know *suspected* makes it sound cowardly but there are very strong reasons to believe so..
I told her we may need step down to the friendzone cos my ex and I are thinking of another shot. We found out that it must av been silly to go apart in the first place.
That's a lie, but I had suspected she cheated once..kept mute and blamed myself by trying to give her reasons (to d best of my knowledge) not to going Fwd. It still played out again and my issue with confronting her face on is that a back and forth on what is/whats not it will only break my heart ova again and turn distrust to hate.
Advise me please.

I don't think there's a special way introverts break up a relationship so you may not get anyone to tell you how to do that here. However, if you have a relationship issue relating to something about introversion, kind people here will be ready to help with that I believe.

ATK4Joy:
I'm 100% introvet my normal thing is from work to house or church for weekly activities and lock myself inside watching films or surfing the Internet sometimes or study my bible. I don't interact with neighbours( don't like people coming to my apartment ). I don't go to party except if it's church thing that I need to officiate from there house. I unwind only by going to olomo rock( a place in abeokuta here)for someone that is familiar with Abeokuta. Now the issue it I need to settle down.Please how can a lady like me get a suitable guy now that have been out school. Can anyone help me in the house with this isssue

Hello ATK4Joy,

I'd expected that perhaps the females following this thread would have chipped in an idea or two but it seems that's not happening soon.

When it comes to relationship issues, I'm of the opinion that Introvert ladies don't often have the problem of 'no admirers', it's often an issue about 'knowing the right admirer to give a chance.' So how can a lady with your personality get a suitable guy? I think you have made it simpler by being an active member in your church. Society and our culture almost certainly prohibits a woman making a move on the man, so I'm guessing you're not exactly planning to go "get" a guy (as you wrote), it is expected a guy "gets" you instead - tough and unfair world? I know.

As I was saying, start from your church. Be friendlier to them church brothers when they try to have conversations with you. Be a little more relaxed with your neighbours as well - you don't have to allow them into your private life to make friends of them...just friendly talks every now and then. Who knows what could happen from there? My point is, you probably won't know how suitable someone might be if you don't give them a chance to show you.
Also, importantly, don't exactly feel the pressure of the need to 'get' or be 'gotten by' a suitable guy. Just go about your duties, with diligence and friendliness, and like biblical Rebecca, you'll be tending to your sheep upon Olumo Rock one day and the emissary of "Suitable Guy" will find you and when you offer him water, the rest will be history.

Olarewajub:
Yea, thank God for the internet. What do you do when you are embarking on a long journey with strangers?

dude, people see us as aliens .when i was working i barely chat with customers . we just do your business .

when i travel i go with my psp to avoid conversations with people .

its been though bro but very interesting life . . . when you have no worrries about what poeple think .

ATK4Joy:
I'm 100% introvet my normal thing is from work to house or church for weekly activities and lock myself inside watching films or surfing the Internet sometimes or study my bible. I don't interact with neighbours( don't like people coming to my apartment ). I don't go to party except if it's church thing that I need to officiate from there house. I unwind only by going to olomo rock( a place in abeokuta here)for someone that is familiar with Abeokuta. Now the issue it I need to settle down.Please how can a lady like me get a suitable guy now that have been out school. Can anyone help me in the house with this isssue

I'm a little shocked you're still single...introverted ladies tends to get more admirers cause most responsible guys look out for ladies with calm and reserved attitude.

Anyways, you need to be more flexible in your dealings,. Put up a smile and walk up that handsome dude for direction even though you know the exact location you're headed Go out to places like cinema house, beach, stadium and catch some fun, dress (modestly, not revealing)to be noticed.

Lastly, if all of these didn't catch you your prince charming then you can try the online dating,.and if you eventually meet someone you feel connected to pleaseeee take your time to study the person before saying 'I DO'.

[quote author=ATK4Joy post=59014209]I'm 100% introvet my normal thing is from work to house or church for weekly activities and lock myself inside watching films or surfing the Internet sometimes or study my bible. I don't interact with neighbours( don't like people coming to my apartment ). I don't go to party except if it's church thing that I need to officiate from there house. I unwind only by going to olomo rock( a place in abeokuta here)for someone that is familiar with Abeokuta. Now the issue it I need to settle down.Please how can a lady like me get a suitable guy now that have been out school. Can anyone help me in the house with this isssue[/quote) hmmmmm you must be a big babe who loves to cherish nature. Been around olumo way back despite my been destined there by mother earth, that place is q beauty to behold. Now to your talk,you have to improve on your level of inter personal communications.he that needs a friend should first of all be friendly, and you ought to start been friendly from your neighborhood. those are parts of agents of socialization and you cent take that away. you seem already out of school and like getting mature with time in time out so mature friends of like minds , same aspirations and goals should be your targets, put on some aura of great charisma, Behind your self up, give your self some nice treats, start putting smile on your face and learn to put same on people around you too, start From a lil "hi, good morning, how was your night, how's the family".....try complementing few people around you now, "hey, ! that looks great on you"....you are already sewing seeds of great friendships which when sparked off could end in wonderful expectations .it all starts WIth you.Have you read qny book on the principle of 'mirror effect'?"You are a reflection of what you want people to see"!!!

Faheemaz:

I'm a little shocked you're still single...introverted ladies tends to get more admirers cause most responsible guys look out for ladies with calm and reserved attitude.

Anyways, you need to be more flexible in your dealings,. Put up a smile and walk up that handsome dude for direction even though you know the exact location you're headed Go out to places like cinema house, beach, stadium and catch some fun, dress (modestly, not revealing)to be noticed.

Lastly, if all of these didn't catch you your prince charming then you can try the online dating,.and if you eventually meet someone you feel connected to pleaseeee take your time to study the person before saying 'I DO'.

you are very correct with your assertions, in fact, even young men that are intros tend to Catch the fancy of great ladies fast .your truly been flying away from karishikas since ages, countless of fine sisters to choose from as they are ever willing to....but according to falz"God save US from karishika"!

Peeps 

Well, it's so disappointing that most introverts still do not know the difference between shyness and introversion even after the topic has been addressed umpteen times.

Olarewajub:

Peeps 

Well, it's so disappointing that most introverts still do not know the difference between shyness and introversion even after the topic has been addressed umpteen times.

I personally think this confusion problem may be partly due to how the extroverted society has always labelled introversion.

For example, my family and school mates labelled me as "shy" as a child. I wasn't shy. I could face the crowd and talk in a group if I wanted to, but I just never liked to be where there was plenty people and hated talking.
Unfortunately, I accepted what they called me and believed I was shy. It wasn't until I got to Sec. Sch. when I learned about introversion that I figured out I wasn't actually shy but introverted. It was then I began correcting people who called me a shy person (that's if I was in the mood to talk anyway).

My point is, as it is popular among Nigerians, we just label things with words that we know - whether it aptly describes the situation or not. And sadly, everyone just joins the bandwagon. So when an introverted child who is also shy (but called shy alone) overcomes the shyness as he/she grows, they just call it "overcoming introversion."

By the way, it's been a while @Olarewajub

DonOms Thanks for sharing your experience.
I've been around, just following the thread silently.

Olarewajub:
DonOms Thanks for sharing your experience.

I've been around, just following the thread silently.

You're welcome.

Please can anyone help with an articulate on how to overcome shyness, also I am so happy I believe the introvert part of me no longer affect me that much.

Ray1251:
Please can anyone help with an articulate on how to overcome shyness, also I am so happy I believe the introvert part of me no longer affect me that much.

You seem to have dissociated your shyness from your introversion - which you have come to embrace and love. That's the very first step to overcoming shyness. The first best step to self-awareness and actualisation is Know Thyself.

The next thing is to begin to understand reality and embrace it. Examples of these realities are:
1) Accept yourself for who you are and know your limitations.
2) Everybody WILL NOT love you, only some will - live with it.
3) Because of reality 2, BE YOURSELF since it's fruitless to try to impress others or shadow them as it affects confidence.
Discover other realities and live with them.

The final most important step is to BUILD CONFIDENCE. The word "Build" is used so you know it is gradual - a step at a time.
I have personally learned that people use different tools to build confidence but these are perhaps the most used as far as my experience and knowledge goes:

1) Improve language communication/skills. Those who speak a language well are often confident. Take that as fact.

2) Join small groups with common interest as you. Maybe it's a study group, or a choir/drama group in church, a poetry club or a humanitarian movement, they not only improve your knowledge and give fulfilment, they help build confidence.

3) Dress Well. Not overdressed or underdressed but WELL dressed for every occasion.

4) Project confidence. Think and act it, fake it if you can. But do this carefully. Research has shown that the brain can easily be tricked into helping us take up new traits/personalities - use the advantage.

That's pretty much it, I believe. If you can do these, shyness will be a thing of the past in no time.

pinkishgal:
I'm a confirmed introverts, I find it very difficult to mingle with people, I keep to my self most times and I don't get bored. I enjoy my own company, I detest been seen everywhere and any where, i don't have friends cos most times they turn out to be fake...I don't really care what people think of me...so far I can have my peace and space I'm good to go. I enjoy my quietness and solitude.

u just described my exact personality trait . Most persons believed I m too principle but to me I enjoy my own company specially with my books. I don't believe in unnecessary conversations.

Proudly one.

gidjah:
you could be a strong introvert and yet not "socially deficient personality", do some research about this and get more enlightened. I have gone round some strong public personality in this nation who you won't dare imagine are die hard intros,! I can count them ,some are even very close pals.with the level of work of life I have attained (by the mercies of God), you can hardly know I qm an introvert unless you come pretty close with succinct observation.I have over come that socially deficient stage of life , I can now relate, counsel, teach, educate and lead a large crowd of various people who God sends my way per time per time. That you see your neibor coming on the same lane with you and you choose to take another path just to ignore him /her, or you pass through the middle of elders sitting in your fathers compound and you choose to pass in between them and ignore them simply because "you are an introvert"! is that a reason ? introverts are not supposed to be socially deficient in the society , they Are educated and sociable too, very mature in character and can cope with others with 'excessive attitudes ".I am a public speaker, a counselor, but I am also very skewed to the introvert axis of life , I have chosen to get better daily, help others realise their God ordained plans for themselves (wether an intro or qn extro).we all (introverts ) must understand that life doesn't just revolve round US alone, we need to give out love if we desired to beloved too

Thank you for this. I also realised this when I got into d uni. I think I have a whole lot to learn from you

iamnlia:


We're the same bro.
I like to "compensate" for it by being the best at everything I do, that way when boys are singing about clubbing and how you're afraid of people, they'll also revere you for constant outside the box thinking.

Mine is not easy, I'm the firstborn and my height doesn't help me in being discreet. And my use of left hand always makes me center of topics.

.

i like this thread.

.