whitecloth:
it has happened twice in our house that I was in door for two days without coming out, they were now shouting at me to come out, also asking me if am OK, I just like much friend. that's it.
And I've also found the book - ` why you act the ways you do' by Tim lahaye very interesting.

so this dude is also an introvert

buccunmie:
i just enjoy bin on my own and i found it so difficult to mix especially with ladies.....some think am a snub, am sure my pple r jst managing my attitude. atimes i wish am an extrovert tho. i go to my office, do my job n leave...no personal relationship with anyone.....am more comfortable bin alone.

seriously you need to learn how to get along with females

Rukkydelta:
seriously you need to learn how to get along with females

i really love to buh its jst kinda hard atimes. won't mind if u can put me thru tho.

buccunmie:
i really love to buh its jst kinda hard atimes. won't mind if u can put me thru tho.

I can help u

muphasar11:


Pleasure is mine Good morning Have a nice day

stay young if you're rock and rolling. all the best things in life are free.

Since I returned from serving my father land to my uncle's place at Lagos, I've always - at least for the greater part of the day remain indoor. It got to a point that his wife was like, "Uncle, are you okay? Don't u ever get tired of staying indoor?"

I've been there for over a month and their neighbours don't know they have a visitor. I enjoy the company of my phone and at least a novel to read so much than sitting and talking with people.

HaneefahRN:
I'm a reserved kinda person, I'm not overtly introvert though, I do well in public gatherings, I can face the crowd wtout any qualms (I av to cos of my profession), I can talk to strangers if there is a need to in a friendly way, but I'll rather not. I don't like going out, telling me to go somewhere is like a punishment for me, unless I'm in the mood or absolutely necessary, I wld rather coup myself up at home, neck deep in novels, watching cartoon or working on clothes.
I just don't see any reason to talk or keep talking when I dnt need to, I dnt av problem making friends though, but I look around well at my surroundings, studying pple to knw who I can mingle well wt. Wt outsiders I only talk when necessary but wt close friends, I'm a talkative. Although, I'm reserved and dnt get angry easily, I hate being taken granted of and so I dnt take shit from anybody, although I myt keep watching d person sometimes till he or she makes a major flop. On social media, I can obviously express myself well.

Lolz

Let me add some other traits you didn't remember to mention; You don't like being taken for granted,just as u DON'T take people for granted. You cherish sincerity because you are also very faithful and trustworthy too. You are conscientious. You prefer issue-based 'talks' rather than mundane conversations.... When you talk,u could be brutally frank...You're more of a thinker than talker!......

If I got my speculations right, don't ask me how I got to know .

@all. It is not weird being an introvert/melancholy. The day you understand who you are,by appreciating your strengths and weaknesses,u regain a kind of paradise.
We live in a world of showbiz/amusement. We grew up having a distorted view of what being sociable is all about and the media hasn't really helped matters either. If by nature u are not gregarious or outgoing, u are tagged 'unsociable'...If u fail to follow the trend,u are ostracized socially and sometimes psychologically. This has made many Introverts,join the bandwagon,...the end result is that u would be made answerable to other people's weaknesses.

But did you know that,most extroverts admire and are often attracted to introverts?. Why is this so?. Because you are thoughtful,you possess the foresight,the ingenuity,the industry, commitment to responsibilities, candour, above all the Calm and reserved mien all of which u often have in higher degrees than an average extrovert.

In short, Strive to excel at what u do, put in your best..participate in activities that you love to be a part of. It could be sporting activities, showcasing of talents,etc...Don't allow people's opinions stand in your way. Remember,a majority of those who have made great impacts in the world were/are Introverts/Melancholy.

HCF:


Lolz

Let me add some other traits you didn't remember to mention; You don't like being taken for granted,just as u DON'T take people for granted. You cherish sincerity because you are also very faithful and trustworthy too. You are conscientious. You prefer issue-based 'talks' rather than mundane conversations.... When you talk,u could be brutally frank...You're more of a thinker than talker!......

If I got my speculations right, don't ask me how I got to know .

Lolz, U got me, but am I such a gud girl?
Hmmm, now I'm curious. I'll av to overlook ur last paragraph, sorry mister, u can't rouse my curiosity and just slip thru. Oya come and confess how u came abt ur speculations

nnamdiosu:

I can help u

i'll appreciate dat bro

HCF:
@all. It is not weird being an introvert/melancholy. The day you understand who you are,by appreciating your strengths and weaknesses,u regain a kind of paradise. Don't allow people's opinions stand in your way. Remember,a majority of those who have made great impacts in the world were/are Introverts/Melancholy.

some introvert are phlegmatic, hope you know, nice write up and many of your words are on point.

whitecloth:


some introvert are phlegmatic, hope you know, nice write up and many of your words are on point.

Yes, you are right 'some introverts are phlegmatic '.

HaneefahRN:

Lolz, U got me, but am I such a gud girl?
Hmmm, now I'm curious. I'll av to overlook ur last paragraph, sorry mister, u can't rouse my curiosity and just slip thru. Oya come and confess how u came abt ur speculations

Lolz, the traits don't really make u good or bad. It is just who you are. But they are VIRTUES common among Introverts especially Melancholies.

On how I came about it,it is just psychoanalysis. You gave yourself away with the description you gave about your personality.

But, since u asked me to 'confess', here's my confession; I have the same set of traits, so I could easily relate to what you said!!!

buccunmie:

i'll appreciate dat bro

k. but u gat to specifically tell me wat u want me to help u on. conversation starting? socializing etc

nnamdiosu:



stay young if you're rock and rolling. all the best things in life are free.

You've gat everything that you need

HCF:


Lolz

Let me add some other traits you didn't remember to mention; You don't like being taken for granted,just as u DON'T take people for granted. You cherish sincerity because you are also very faithful and trustworthy too. You are conscientious. You prefer issue-based 'talks' rather than mundane conversations.... When you talk,u could be brutally frank...You're more of a thinker than talker!......

If I got my speculations right, don't ask me how I got to know .

This is just Me! The worst part is the part where I'm taken for granted, it hurts like hell which is why I almost blinded my classmate in JSS 2. I thank God I'm beginning to let go of bitterness, I nearly destroyed the girl's life which if I did I wouldn't have forgiven myself.

For now my method is never say YES always, for instance my roommate asked for my laptop to watch movies yesterday and I told her I also need it for a movie (I actually needed it for a movie) so I can't give it out. The normal me wouldn't mind giving it out, I mean it's mine and the movie is there for me to watch any other time but NO you just have to put up some resistance for them to know that hey! Someone is actually in there.

It kind of doesn't feel comfortable being who you are not but people just have to know their boundaries with you and if you don't create one they are ever ready to override you. They will think "after all she's quiet", what they don't get is she's quiet doesn't mean she's Stupid.

HCF:


Lolz, the traits don't really make u good or bad. It is just who you are. But they are VIRTUES common among Introverts especially Melancholies.

On how I came about it,it is just psychoanalysis. You gave yourself away with the description you gave about your personality.

But, since u asked me to 'confess', here's my confession; I have the same set of traits, so I could easily relate to what you said!!!

Cool, but u will agree they are nice virtues not many pple have.
Funny thing is I haven't totally agreed I av a melancholic temperament, don't knw why cos some parts really fits me well apart from the overtly sensitive, organized,etc . I like things in order but not like it's a compulsive thing for me, and I can procastinate alot but not in a way that affects my outcome or do a task right at the min, depends on my mood, I like setting alarms for tasks and stick to it. I dnt mind things not going my way when I see there is a better alternative. And I'm definitely not self-centered nor selfish, frugal,yes but not stingy etc . I think I'm Mel/Phleg.
Lolz, I love the confession part, nice to av someone with similar traits.
So, hmmm, psychoanalysis? Are u a psychologist?

Empressgifted:

This is just Me! The worst part is the part where I'm taken for granted, it hurts like hell which is why I almost blinded my classmate in JSS 2. I thank God I'm beginning to let go of bitterness, I nearly destroyed the girl's life which if I did I wouldn't have forgiven myself.

For now my method is never say YES always, for instance my roommate asked for my laptop to watch movies yesterday and I told her I also need it for a movie (I actually needed it for a movie) so I can't give it out. The normal me wouldn't mind giving it out, I mean it's mine and the movie is there for me to watch any other time but NO you just have to put up some resistance for them to know that hey! Someone is actually in there.

It kind of doesn't feel comfortable being who you are not but people just have to know their boundaries with you and if you don't create one they are ever ready to override you. They will think "after all she's quiet", what they don't get is she's quiet doesn't mean she's Stupid.

Lolz, u made me remember myself back then in boarding house. I think that's the phlegmatic part, not wanting to say NO to pple. I also have the same problem, I don't mind giving my things out, even if I needed it.
I was mother Christmas, I wld give out my provision to pple even when I knew they probably had theirs and were keeping it. Or borrow pple money even when their pocket money is more than mine, wc they might not pay back. When no one wants to take up a task, I find myself volunteering for it, etc. The funny thing is even though I had less, I never want for things and I don't like borrowing from pple.
But one thing I don't like is someone taking my things wtout telling me or not even bothering to (they cld be like, sebi it's Haneefah) that can get me mad and I don't take light to insults, While I was younger I was violent, but now very calm, becos I learnt to overlook some things. When I get angry, the person and everyone who knows me, wld know the person definitely bleeped up big time, and wld castigate the person even b4 hearing anything.
Being quiet doesn't mean one is stupid. Just be urself, and don't be overly sacrificial for pple who aren't worth it, think of urself too. And when someone does somethn u don't like let them know u don't like it and they shldn't try it wt u again.

Empressgifted:

This is just Me! The worst part is the part where I'm taken for granted, it hurts like hell which is why I almost blinded my classmate in JSS 2. I thank God I'm beginning to let go of bitterness, I nearly destroyed the girl's life which if I did I wouldn't have forgiven myself.

For now my method is never say YES always, for instance my roommate asked for my laptop to watch movies yesterday and I told her I also need it for a movie (I actually needed it for a movie) so I can't give it out. The normal me wouldn't mind giving it out, I mean it's mine and the movie is there for me to watch any other time but NO you just have to put up some resistance for them to know that hey! Someone is actually in there.

It kind of doesn't feel comfortable being who you are not but people just have to know their boundaries with you and if you don't create one they are ever ready to override you. They will think "after all she's quiet", what they don't get is she's quiet doesn't mean she's Stupid.

Thank God u didn't make someone go blind o..

But really,I understand u perfectly. You see,oftentimes we come across people who are very exploitative in nature.

They capitalize on your perceived weaknesses to achieve their own goals and usually, melancholies are their victims,because they(Introverts/Melancholies/Phlegmatics) find it difficult saying the two-letter-word, 'NO'.

For instance, Melancholies can go all out to render financial assistance to People even when they themselves are not having enough to cater for their needs...just because they don't want to hurt their 'friends'.

But, are these 'Friends' really 'Friendly'?.... Exploitation(Attempted or successful) from such category of people makes you see who your real friends are...and u would be able to seive friends from mere acquitances pretending to be friends.

In short, real friends wont exploit you because of your perceived 'weakness', they wont make u feel guilty for saying NO, rather, they would genuinely respect ur stance/decision and this would make you feel real good inside.

So, your 'new' method is okay . When next someone requests for something,and sparing such would bring some level of discomfort don't hesitate to say NO..this, u can do bluntly, indirectly or diplomatically, but you must be Sincere....

HaneefahRN:

Cool, but u will agree they are nice virtues not many pple have.
Funny thing is I haven't totally agreed I av a melancholic temperament, don't knw why cos some parts really fits me well apart from the overtly sensitive, organized,etc . I like things in order but not like it's a compulsive thing for me, and I can procastinate alot but not in a way that affects my outcome or do a task right at the min, depends on my mood, I like setting alarms for tasks and stick to it. I dnt mind things not going my way when I see there is a better alternative. And I'm definitely not self-centered nor selfish, frugal,yes but not stingy etc . I think I'm Mel/Phleg.
Lolz, I love the confession part, nice to av someone with similar traits.
So, hmmm, psychoanalysis? Are u a psychologist?

Lolz,....Yes u are quite right!. These Virtues are not so common these days. They are gradually going into extinction,like species of black rhinos....So,u can take pride in being among the few with the golden virtues .

However, I think u are mel/sang. and not mel/phleg. ( though i can't know u more than urself sha.lolz). Let me use one trait of phlegmatics to corroborate my point; Phlegmatics are so peace loving that they don't like arguments, but here you are trying to justify your line of arguement..!

...And this doesn't mean I am a Psychologist, I am NOT o...but I av read quite a number of books on human behaviour...and observing some of those things in people could be quite interesting and revealing!. It makes u understand people,hence there would be little friction between you and others. Its fun sha!

HCF:


Thank God u didn't make someone go blind o..

But really,I understand u perfectly. You see,oftentimes we come across people who are very exploitative in nature.

They capitalize on your perceived weaknesses to achieve their own goals and usually, melancholies are their victims,because they(Introverts/Melancholies/Phlegmatics) find it difficult saying the two-letter-word, 'NO'.

For instance, Melancholies can go all out to render financial assistance to People even when they themselves are not having enough to cater for their needs...just because they don't want to hurt their 'friends'.

But, are these 'Friends' really 'Friendly'?.... Exploitation(Attempted or successful) from such category of people makes you see who your real friends are...and u would be able to seive friends from mere acquitances pretending to be friends.

In short, real friends wont exploit you because of your perceived 'weakness', they wont make u feel guilty for saying NO, rather, they would genuinely respect ur stance/decision and this would make you feel real good inside.

So, your 'new' method is okay . When next someone requests for something,and sparing such would bring some level of discomfort don't hesitate to say NO..this, u can do bluntly, indirectly or diplomatically, but you must be Sincere....

Thanks Dear.
You give some people chance they come back for chances. That won't stop me from helping those that are sincerely in need when I can but offering any form of help at my discomfort is a no no.

HCF:


Lolz,....Yes u are quite right!. These Virtues are not so common these days. They are gradually going into extinction,like species of black rhinos....So,u can take pride in being among the few with the golden virtues .

However, I think u are mel/sang. and not mel/phleg. ( though i can't know u more than urself sha.lolz). Let me use one trait of phlegmatics to corroborate my point; Phlegmatics are so peace loving that they don't like arguments, but here you are trying to justify your line of arguement..!

...And this doesn't mean I am a Psychologist, I am NOT o...but I av read quite a number of books on human behaviour...and observing some of those things in people could be quite interesting and revealing!. It makes u understand people,hence there would be little friction between you and others. Its fun sha!

Lolz, yh, I guess that's what my friends like abt me.
Mel/Sang? That's like combining an introvert and extrovert temperament. I dnt necessarily like arguing but I do esp when I know I'm right, and I can be confrontational too.
That's cool, I want to join ur clique, what books will u recommend? I know it wld be fun and interesting, it'll be like being in on secrets of the human psyche. Like why pple behave the way they do.

HaneefahRN:
what books will u recommend?

Will you try ' why you act the way you do by Tim lahaye

HaneefahRN:

Lolz, yh, I guess that's what my friends like abt me.
Mel/Sang? That's like combining an introvert and extrovert temperament. I dnt necessarily like arguing but I do esp when I know I'm right, and I can be confrontational too.
That's cool, I want to join ur clique, what books will u recommend? I know it wld be fun and interesting, it'll be like being in on secrets of the human psyche. Like why pple behave the way they do.

Ok..Haneefah...you can start with the book ' Why u act the way you do' -Tim LaHaye.

Also, by the same author is the book 'Spirit controlled Temperament'

Personality Patterns by Lana Bateman

Personality Puzzle -Florence and Marita Littauer.

Personality Plus by Florence Littauer.

You can get some of these books online...and other relevant texts too can be read/downloaded online.....

by the time u finish reading at least two, especially 'why u act d way u do' as suggested by whitecloth..u might be convinced that added to melancholic traits u also have traits of a sanguine!

HCF:

Ok..Haneefah...you can start with the book ' Why u act the way you do' -Tim LaHaye.

Also, by the same author is the book 'Spirit controlled Temperament'

Personality Patterns by Lana Bateman

Personality Puzzle -Florence and Marita Littauer.

Personality Plus by Florence Littauer.

You can get some of these books online...and other relevant texts too can be read/downloaded online.....

by the time u finish reading at least two, especially 'why u act d way u do' as suggested by whitecloth..u might be convinced that added to melancholic traits u also have traits of a sanguine!

Thank u so much. I really enjoyed discussing wt u.

whitecloth:
Will you try ' why you act the way you do by Tim lahaye

Thank u sir

HaneefahRN:

Thank u so much. I really enjoyed discussing wt u.

You're welcome...It was fun for me too.

Download[b]QUIET:THE POWER OF INTROVERSION IN A WORLD THAT CANT STOP TALKING[/b]

“An intriguing and potentially life-altering examination of the human psyche that is sure to benefit both introverts and extroverts alike.”
—Kirkus Reviews (starred review)

“Gentle is powerful … Solitude is socially productive … These important counterintuitive ideas are among the many reasons to take Quiet to a quiet corner and absorb its brilliant, thought-provoking message.”
—ROSABETH MOSS KANTER, professor at Harvard Business School, author of Confidence and SuperCorp

“An informative, well-researched book on the power of quietness and the virtues of having a rich inner life. It dispels the myth that you have to be extroverted to be happy and successful.”
—JUDITH ORLOFF, M.D., author of Emotional Freedom

“In this engaging and beautifully written book, Susan Cain makes a powerful case for the wisdom of introspection. She also warns us ably about the downside to our culture’s noisiness, including all that it risks drowning out. Above the din, Susan’s own voice remains a compelling presence—thoughtful, generous, calm, and eloquent. Quiet deserves a very large readership.”
—CHRISTOPHER LANE, author of Shyness: How Normal Behavior Became a Sickness

“Susan Cain’s quest to understand introversion, a beautifully wrought journey from the lab bench to the motivational speaker’s hall, offers convincing evidence for valuing substance over style, steak over sizzle, and qualities that are, in America, often derided. This book is brilliant, profound, full of feeling and brimming with insights.”
—SHERI FINK, M.D., author of War Hospital
“Brilliant, illuminating, empowering! Quiet gives not only a voice, but a path to homecoming for so many who’ve walked through the better part of their lives thinking the way they engage with the world is something in need of fixing.”

Hello
Gud evening all

How do you deal with insecurity and trust as an introvert?




Wish you all a Merry 12 days to xmas

what goes on in here?

feran15:
what goes on in here?

A lot. Are you an introvert?

Olarewajub:
A lot. Are you an introvert?

i guess so... think i qualify by some standards