feran15:



i guess so...
think i qualify by some standards

naijacentric:
ambiverts here anyone

JudgementHammer:
Didn't even know something that concerns me like this exists on NL. Happy I found it sha

Bidexluv:
Hello

Gud evening all


How do you deal with insecurity and trust as an introvert?





Wish you all a Merry 12 days to xmas

Olarewajub:
That's good to know. Do you have difficulties when exchanging pleasantries with friends, elders and strangers, do you think greeting some one is the way of expressing the self respect you have for them or do you feel using greeting as a basis for self respect is over rated?

feran15:


i guess i find greeting friends difficult sometimes... i usually dont know how to do that, but for elders, as long as its not more than good morning and how is this person or that person, I'm okay with it.
greeting as a basis for self respect is not over rated. at least in the case of older people

I totally get your point and thanks for the response.

Olarewajub:
As an introvert, you will have a lot of issues trusting people except for some family members. Well for some of us introverts, we deal with trust issue by not trusting anyone. The reason for this, is that there are only a few people out there that can be trusted. if at all you're are to trust any one, study that individually critically and see if he/she meets with your standard. It is very disastrous to trust the wrong fellow. Many people pretend to care when actually they don't give a damn. Be careful whom you trust.

If i may ask, do you have a best friend?

Bidexluv:

Have very close friends who people around calls my best friends but deep down they may just be close friends.
My trust issues is worst believe me when i say worst.

Trust no one at all except the Supreme Being Up in Heaven .

Bidexluv:

Have very close friends who people around calls my best friends but deep down they may just be close friends.
My trust issues is worst believe me when i say worst.

Trust no one at all except the Supreme Being Up in Heaven .

shegxi:
in d words of tuface "i know u cannot trust nobody but u have to trust someone". Life in itself is a risk, i have learnt to stat trusting people till they mess up. Guess wat? Some havn't messed up yet. Sometimes, its onli faith dat is required.

Olarewajub:
Do you have this uneasiness that some day they might stop being trust worthy?

shegxi:
i dn't. I have come to terms with d fact dat anybody can mess up at any time.

Olarewajub:
Oh i see, no disappointment expected. How do you do this, can i say you are being care free?

shegxi:
care free is nt d right word, of course am very careful. Anybody dat want to disappoint will disappoint whether u worry or nt. Dere are rili no hard and fast rule to it. Just be careful, know ur standards den simply hope for d best.

Olarewajub:
Yea that's right. The definition whom is a friend is quite different from the perspective of an introvert. Many people here will have difficulties if tossed this question; Who is your friend?

shegxi:
in d words of tuface "i know u cannot trust nobody but u have to trust someone". Life in itself is a risk, i have learnt to stat trusting people till they mess up. Guess wat? Some havn't messed up yet. Sometimes, its onli faith dat is required.

Bidexluv:

Dont have a definition for a friend

Olarewajub:
As an introvert, you will have a lot of issues trusting people except for some family members. Well for some of us introverts, we deal with trust issue by not trusting anyone. The reason for this, is that there are only a few people out there that can be trusted. if at all you're are to trust any one, study that individually critically and see if he/she meets with your standard. It is very disastrous to trust the wrong fellow. Many people pretend to care when actually they don't give a damn. Be careful whom you trust.

If i may ask, do you have a best friend?

June24th:


99% true for me... I hardly trust outsiders.. I'll have to really scrutinise u.. Maybe dats y I don't av any close friends.. Though I feel lonely at times

Rukkydelta:
Have anyone of you ever wished to be an extrovert ?

Olarewajub:
Do you mean at certain instances or transforming totally to an extrovert?

Rukkydelta:
at certain instances

Olarewajub:
That will be a no, used to but not anymore not after I've come come to realize who am really are. Thank God for the book Quiet by Susan Cain.

HaneefahRN:

Lolz, u made me remember myself back then in boarding house. I think that's the phlegmatic part, not wanting to say NO to pple. I also have the same problem, I don't mind giving my things out, even if I needed it.
I was mother Christmas, I wld give out my provision to pple even when I knew they probably had theirs and were keeping it. Or borrow pple money even when their pocket money is more than mine, wc they might not pay back. When no one wants to take up a task, I find myself volunteering for it, etc. The funny thing is even though I had less, I never want for things and I don't like borrowing from pple.
But one thing I don't like is someone taking my things wtout telling me or not even bothering to (they cld be like, sebi it's Haneefah) that can get me mad and I don't take light to insults, While I was younger I was violent, but now very calm, becos I learnt to overlook some things. When I get angry, the person and everyone who knows me, wld know the person definitely bleeped up big time, and wld castigate the person even b4 hearing anything.
Being quiet doesn't mean one is stupid. Just be urself, and don't be overly sacrificial for pple who aren't worth it, think of urself too. And when someone does somethn u don't like let them know u don't like it and they shldn't try it wt u again.

Rukkydelta:
good for you

dasdexter:
you just described my whole trait, one thing i have come to realize about humans is that they treat you depending on how you present yourself, once you set your boundaries trust me they will respect it, those who know me knows the good in me, while those who are yet to know, sees me as a snub, when i go to church, I just want to be done and get out, though i had love to stay back and chat, but what exactly are we chatting about, so i just up and leave, it's a routine i hate and love.