Last time I visited home I read of a young, helpless girl who was tricked into dating a cultist who threatened her life when she tried to quit. In her last attempt the shameless man made good his threat and poured acid on her. I was reading out the newspaper story to a neighbor at Lagos when her female visitor looked so sober and said she's in a very similar situation now and tears rolled down her cheek. She said her family was poor. She lived in fear and reached out to people who only gave empty words of advice to pray about it. She tried to quit several times but each time was intimidated into returning to the man, who's much older, richer, and connected with police. She knew her life was in danger and that "A bad friendship can never result in a good marriage" but was too afraid to quit.

I'm a novice in relationships and advised her since police couldn't help her maybe she should get a more powerful friend than the man...but my neighbor chipped in that it won't work in Nigeria; that it must be a gradual process to avoid violent end as I read. Very sad!

1. What practical, feasible steps can you give to young girls to end relationships like this without risking their lives especially if the man is either a dangerous cultist, militant, or violent and richer?

2. If you have ended a relationship like this before, how did you go about it?

Sad,but this happens every day, still,it's the police you go to,for the girl in question to get help,she'll need a lot of confidence and mental strength....if she has the confidence,then she needs a criminal lawyer and the police, gather the strength to identify the boyfriend/cultist who is threatening her,and get him arrested. ...that person might have to sign a refraining order. ..or any other contract that says nothing must happen to her or he'll be held responsible....

The girl just has to look for a police officer that hasn't been 'bought' ,but these situations are very difficult to handle.

Very very simple situation. She can never leave that man as long as she lives the same way the man met her. She needs to change her life style totally to one tthat the man won't like to be seen associated or associating with. The police can't and won't help. Tell her to take a radical Christian look,start going to church very very very regularly, start dressing like the pope mother,anytime she is with the man friends she should be telling them to give their lives to christ and asking them to kneel down for prayers anywhere she sees them. She should even enrol in the bible school ,ask the man to enrol too and things like that,she should wake up in the morning around 4.30am to 5am ,ring loud small church bells around the house and call everyone for 1hr morning devotion.after 2 weeks she should tell the man that God wants to deliver his house from the powers of darkness. Believe me withing one month that man will get fed up and lastly she should be doing loud and noisy night vigils . The man will be the one to tell her that she isn't the woman he met that she has changed and will let her go$.but as long as she still lives the same way the man met her ,she wontt break free tell her to change her life style,totally,completely and radically and the man too will change towards her and push her away

Well she should be diagnosed with a deadly contagious disease....then simply join a xch seeking healing while completely changing her lifestyle following onatisi's example... Simple!

smartchoice: Well she should be diagnosed with a deadly contagious disease.... Simple!

The girl should start pretending n showing signs of ebola, he will run away himself

Tell her to tell the man that her Ex was Shekau.

Onatisi's suggestion.The only practical way.
If she gets so illuminated by Light,darkness will turn away.

thorpido: Onatisi's suggestion.The only practical way.
If she gets so illuminated by Light,darkness will turn away.

thanks bro. If I am dating a lady and suddenly she change to hare krishna worshipping by bringing incense and other indian things into my house I won't think twice to leave her. It is obvious that man still sees her as she was when they met.

onatisi: thanks bro. If I am dating a lady and suddenly she change to hare krishna worshipping by bringing incense and other indian things into my house I won't think twice to leave her. It is obvious that man still sees her as she was when they met.

You're one hell of a 1001 ways to break-up expert....Damn.

it is really simple. let her join Deeper life. go to the worst market in Nigeria, buy oversized skirts, 4yards of head gears different colour. and the most horrible shoes ever worn by human.

if he sees you he will never know it was you. tell him to join you in your new found church. tell him that u are a new creature. old things has passed away bla bla bla...... he will ask u never to set foot in his house.

then change location. so all this movies no dey teach una any thing abi?

Morotov1: You're one hell of a 1001 ways to break-up expert....Damn.

broooooos haba . Na woman teach me ooooo

onatisi: thanks bro. If I am dating a lady and suddenly she change to hare krishna worshipping by bringing incense and other indian things into my house I won't think twice to leave her. It is obvious that man still sees her as she was when they met.

Na so.She doesn't have to struggle with him.
Just change the hair to braids alone,no attachment.Wear drab clothes and when he calls or needs her,she should tell him to come and pick her up in church.Make him look for her around the church and surely he will get tired and pissed off eventually.

If she claim to b a hard core xtian, d man may even bcom very haPpy knowing dat his gf is born again, makin him more obsessed wt ha! If she runs off, ha family wil b @risk of not seein ha again! . Police aren't ur friends always, wat u nid do is bcom a nun.

desirewhet: If she claim to b a hard core xtian, d man may even bcom very haPpy knowing dat his gf is born again, makin him more obsessed wt ha! If she runs off, ha family wil b @risk of not seein ha again! . Police aren't ur friends always, wat u nid do is bcom a nun.

no un religious man can tolerate a religious nuisance in his house or environment.

Genuinely give your life to Christ and become committed to your church/fellowship in school. Start serving in various capacities there.
Tell him of your new status. Bid him bye respectfully but with all seriousness.

Let your pastor/leaders know about the situation. If they are bold and mature , and filled with the Spirit, they'd talk to him and he'll listen.

Learn to pray violently. Violent situations demands violent response.
Just praying and speaking the word about the situation will work just fine.

Police case may or may not escalate things. Don't rule it out though. No violence or verbal abuse from your side. Never.

smartchoice: Well she should be diagnosed with a deadly contagious disease....then simply join a xch seeking healing while completely changing her lifestyle following onatisi's example... Simple!

[size=16pt]THAT'S WHERE EBOLA COMES INTO PLAY [/size]

DeeMain: Genuinely give your life to Christ and become committed to your church/fellowship in school. Start serving in various capacities there.
Tell him of your new status. Bid him bye respectfully but with all seriousness.

Let your pastor/leaders know about the situation. If they are bold and mature , and filled with the Spirit, they'd talk to him and he'll listen.

Learn to pray violently. Violent situations demands violent response.
Just praying and speaking the word about the situation will work just fine.

Police case may or may not escalate things. Don't rule it out though. No violence or verbal abuse from your side. Never.

[size=15pt]nigerians always religious in times of trouble. na wa o ![/size]

lofty900: [size=15pt]nigerians always religious in times of trouble. na wa o ![/size]

We haff heard!

Religious? Naa.Christ-like Christian lifestyle? Yea.

What about a smart option for her from you instead of criticising what you don't understand?

DeeMain:

We haff heard!

Religious? Naa.Christ-like Christian lifestyle? Yea.

What about a smart option for her from you instead of criticising what you don't understand?

religion does not solve every single problem. if only we can understand this, the world will be a better place. by the way it's criticizing. thank u

[quote[b][/b] author=lofty900][/b]religion does not solve every single problem. if only we can understand this, the world will be a better place. by the way it's [b]criticizing. thank u [/quote]

Thanks for ferreting that out. Smart you. You see, criticize and criticise(Britian), actually are two correct spellings of the same word bruv.

In your omni-wisdom, where in my statement did I say it does? Where is your logic? What argument are you addressing?Who's playing the drums you are dancing to?

DeeMain:

Thanks for ferreting that out. Smart you. You see, criticize and criticise(Britian), actually are two correct spellings of the same word bruv.

In your omni-wisdom, where in my statement did I say it does? Where is your logic? What argument are you addressing?Who's playing the drums you are dancing to?

alright, no need 2 fight

lofty900: alright, no need 2 fight

I wonder oo wettin cause fight. No be dem sister ,mother or daughter dey involved,even tthe op sef never visit the thread since he open am . Why ppl go dey fight on top another man matter,I tire ooo

onatisi: I wonder oo wettin cause fight. No be dem sister ,mother or daughter dey involved,even tthe op sef never visit the thread since he open am . Why ppl go dey fight on top another man matter,I tire ooo

i tire ooo my brother

Wished we could get real practical suggestions not as dramatic as some suggestions above. Not everyone enjoys being a 'drama queen'. She could solve one problem and create another.

1. I absolutely support the idea of trying to get his attention off her by changing her lifestyle but how can she do that without creating more drama? But one thing we forget is that this so-called man probably has 'tasted' her before and know how 'sweet' she is. That may be his motivating factor here not really love or care for her.

2. I also beg to disagree with the poster that said most girls who find themselves with cultist did so in search for money, fame, or validation. Cultists are boys and often from good homes, but simply following self-destructive paths. Some of them also need help to get out of it but can't for fear of being killed by their colleagues.

How about reporting to her school chaplain? Isn't this suppose to be one of the duties of school chaplains or are they usually afraid too?

So will the. Chaplin be following her all about? She doesn't want to change and yet she wants freedom . Ok oo goodluck

onatisi: So will the. Chaplin be following her all about? She doesn't want to change and yet she wants freedom . Ok oo goodluck

Great suggestion you have up there. @Op she either do what this bro said or disappear or wait to get dumped/killed.

Amhappy: Great suggestion you have up there. @Op she either do what this bro said or disappear or wait to get dumped/killed.

madam,dem no dey teach persin,the girl will learn with experience .

This may sound funny because a girl is involved, however it's no different from a man who cannot quit a very stressful job with a harassing boss because he has to put food on the table for his family. Usually people in this type of situations feel powerless and helpless. Only outsiders can help them.

onatisi: no un religious man can tolerate a religious nuisance in his house or environment.

Cos u neva jam.....in dis world...anytin does happen

If he's obsessed with her, even if she rub sh*i t on her body, he is going no where. Best thing she can do is slowly and steadily withdraw. Let him get tired and dump her. If she knows what she is doing, she will know how to make him dump her with his ego intact. O pari.