A young female colleague from french-speaking Cameroon is in love with a very decent Nigerian man, educated with a good job. They are making plans to get married before Easter next year. Now the girl's parent (especially her mom) is way in the middle of the whole thing, discouraging her daughter, warning her, and even making threats to her to stay away from any Nigerian man because they can't be trusted. In fact, she vowed no one in her family will date a Nigerian man. These young lovers are completely devastated and running to anyone who could help appease her parents but all is falling on deaf ears.

We Africans complain of racism and discrimination abroad but honestly from what I see, we would have been worse than some of the people we criticize. Look at how we discriminate against people from other tribes, religion, sexual orientation, even people of other social class. Rich parents warn their daughters not to date boys from poor families. Yoruba discriminates against Igbo, Igbo discriminates against Hausa, Hausa discriminates against Igbos, Muslims discriminates against Christians, Pentecostals discriminate against Catholics, other countries discriminate against Nigerians, (just for emphasis) etc. Haba! Some of us Africans are way too full of prejudice and hate. Sometime I wonder if this is why we always have plagues, disease epidemics, wars, massacres, hunger, famine, pogroms, etc despite being very religious and blessed with resources.

Africans, please can we stop prejudices to let blessings flow into the continent? God is love! Stop destroying dreams with prejudices!

Woged2005: A young female colleague from french-speaking Cameroon is in love with a very decent Nigerian man, educated with a good job. They are making plans to get married before Easter next year. Now the girl's parent (especially her mom) is way in the middle of the whole thing, discouraging her daughter, warning her, and even making threats to her to stay away from any Nigerian man because they can't be trusted. In fact, she vowed no one in her family will date a Nigerian man. These young lovers are completely devastated and running to anyone who could help appease her parents but all is falling on deaf ears.

We Africans complain of racism and discrimination abroad but honestly from what I see, we would have been worse than some of the people we criticize. Look at how we discriminate against people from other tribes, religion, sexual orientation, even people of other social class. Rich parents warn their daughters not to date boys from poor families. Yoruba discriminates against Igbo, Igbo discriminates against Hausa, Hausa discriminates against Igbos, Muslims discriminates against Christians, Pentecostals discriminate against Catholics, other countries discriminate against Nigerians, (just for emphasis) etc. Haba! Some of us Africans are way too full of prejudice and hate. Sometime I wonder if this is why we always have plagues, disease epidemics, wars, massacres, hunger, famine, pogroms, etc despite being very religious and blessed with resources.

Africans, please can we stop prejudices to let blessings flow into the continent? God is love! Stop destroying dreams with prejudices!

your colleague is not ready to marry yet or her groom-to-be is a retärd. i don't see how any parent can stop me from marrying a girl i want unless the girl herself wants to be stopped.

coogar:
your colleague is not ready to marry yet or her groom-to-be is a retärd. i don't see how any parent can stop me from marrying a girl i want unless the girl herself wants to be stopped.

I absolutely agree. These are not kids.
And the best way to deal with African parents is to be extremely firm with them.
They will respect themselves afterwards.
The mother still sees her as a child. That is why she can make threats. Which gives me more reason to say the daughter has never challenged her mom before.
Old people are stuck in their ways, if you are waiting for them to change their ways, you will wait a long time.

Hmmm, 'nigerian men cannot be trusted', make I go reason that statement first.

Icherishu:
You are starting a biafran war shei. Abeg where is aunty Efe, bring your mat o. We need to watch this e-fight.

She threw the first punch

Oh please! Let's ditch the misplaced outrage!

There is never any smoke without fire. I get where the girl's mum is coming from as Nigerian men are certainly not whiter than snow. They aren't that far from topping the world's league table of crooks and criminals. However, the problem with her statement is that it's just too sweeping and general(istic?) in nature.

Sure we have some really bad rotten eggs amongst our men folk, but that doesn't mean every single Nigerian man is terrible marriage material.

Ahnie, Oniovo me, don't make it tribal abeg.

Icherishu:
You are starting a biafran war shei. Abeg where is aunty Efe, bring your mat o. We need to watch this e-fight.

you like fight pass your name. Ahannnn





I rebook you in the name of. ........
Receive your deliverance

vicadex07:

She threw the first punch

Then be civil to look past.

Icherishu:
Then be civil to look past.

Tell her first na

coogar:
your colleague is not ready to marry yet or her groom-to-be is a retärd. i don't see how any parent can stop me from marrying a girl i want unless the girl herself wants to be stopped.

Stillfire:
I absolutely agree. These are not kids.
And the best way to deal with African parents is to be extremely firm with them.
They will respect themselves afterwards.
The mother still sees her as a child. That is why she can make threats. Which gives me more reason to say the daughter has never challenged her mom before.
Old people are stuck in their ways, if you are waiting for them to change their ways, you will wait a long time.

Guys do not underestimate or take for granted the blessing of a parent over an intended union. Sometimes when they rant & rave there's some gut feeling at work about that potential spouse we as children have presented and want to marry. Gut feelings are hard to explain but its a strong feeling telling you something is not right even when you can't place your finger on what it is.

Parents often see things which we are unable to, because of that emotion called loved. I've seen some relatives & acquaintances run into some serious gbese because they ignored the blessing of a parent. Remember these people took care of you from infancy to adulthood, no man or woman can ever love you like they do.

The least we can do is honour them and try to win them over where potential spouses are concerned.

sihom:



Guys do not underestimate or take for granted the blessing of a parent over an intended union. Sometimes when they rant & rave there's some gut feeling at work about that potential spouse we as children have presented and want to marry. Gut feelings are hard to explain but its a strong feeling telling you something is not right even when you can't place your finger on what it is.

Parents often see things which we are unable to, because of that emotion called loved. I've seen some relatives & acquaintances run into some serious gbese because they ignored the blessing of a parent. Remember these people took care of you from infancy to adulthood, no man or woman can ever love you like they do.

The least we can do is honour them and try to win them over where potential spouses are concerned.

But prejudice is often based on ignorance, and ignorance is a bad disease. I understand "honor your father and mother" contained in the Bible. So how the two lovers feel doesn't matter in this case? How will you feel if you tried to board a half-empty plane in say Italy, and a hostess walks up and take you to the seat next to the toilet because you are African? You probably would raise hell. We ladies are usually on the receiving end of all this drama especially when your family doesn't want you to be with whom you want to be with, then you marry whom they want and suffer the rest of your life. Can't we use this our over-righteous to solve the myriads of problems plaguing out continent?

Woged2005:
But prejudice is often based on ignorance, and ignorance is a bad disease. I understand "honor your father and mother" contained in the Bible. So how the two lovers feel doesn't matter in this case? How will you feel if you tried to board a half-empty plane in say Italy, and a hostess walks up and take you to the seat next to the toilet because you are African? You probably would raise hell. We ladies are usually on the receiving end of all this drama especially when your family doesn't want you to be with whom you want to be with, then you marry whom they want and suffer the rest of your life. Can't we use this our over-righteous to solve the myriads of problems plaguing out continent?

Please do not misunderstand my point, my point is simple receiving or rather having the blessings of our parents on marriage should be sought after for it brings with it good tidings, I'm not coming at this from the angle of prejudice.

I was responding to the issues raised in Coogar & Stillwaters posts which caught my attention. If you feel your folks don't have a valid reason for withholding their endorsement of a potential spouse feel free to ignore them but I'll rather win them over and try to show them the good sides to a person, than do the whole TO HELL WITH YOU GUYS SAGA, which from personal experience never augurs well for anyone.

Madam Woged2005 I hope I've made myself more clearer because I hate to be misunderstood

sihom:
Guys do not underestimate or take for granted the blessing of a parent over an intended union. Sometimes when they rant & rave there's some gut feeling at work about that potential spouse we as children have presented and want to marry. Gut feelings are hard to explain but its a strong feeling telling you something is not right even when you can't place your finger on what it is.

Parents often see things which we are unable to, because of that emotion called loved. I've seen some relatives & acquaintances run into some serious gbese because they ignored the blessing of a parent. Remember these people took care of you from infancy to adulthood, no man or woman can ever love you like they do.

The least we can do is honour them and try to win them over where potential spouses are concerned.

how unlucky the poor orphans must be then..
everyone of them is doomed in their marriage since there are no parents to bless the union.

you make too much sentiments - if my parents or her parents don't agree with our union, there are plenty of people who can stand in as parents on the day.

hell, i am sure i would be able to find parents for hire here on nairaland with as little as N50,000. is it not to pray & wish us well? what else is there?

So they sell prayers on nl again



you this circus clown, you won't kill me. Anyway I have a deal for you




in case your family $ parents don't approve of your bride, just invite me, I will pray well sotey you go dey wonder whether i be ayo babalola family member
shebi it's to wear gele, iro and buba and eat semo and egusi.leave the rest to me

coogar:

how unlucky the poor orphans must be then..
everyone of them is doomed in their marriage since there are no parents to bless the union.

you make too much sentiments - if my parents or her parents don't agree with our union, there are plenty of people who can stand in as parents on the day.

hell, i am sure i would be able to find parents for hire here on nairaland with as little as N50,000. is it not to pray & wish us well? what else is there?

SAMBARRY:
So they sell prayers on nl again
you this circus clown, you won't kill me. Anyway I have a deal for you

which deal?

in case your family $ parents don't approve of your bride, just invite me, I will pray well sotey you go dey wonder whether i be ayo babalola family member
shebi it's to wear gele, iro and buba and eat semo and egusi.leave the rest to me

i already have 2 people in mind if it ever comes to that. bellong would be hired as the father & tpia would play the role of the mother. according to TBN data, they are the most potent prayer warriors on NL.

Won't it be suspicious if you have father and mother of the groom and there is no siblings of the groom. It is not only parents of the groom that is necessary o

coogar:

which deal?




i already have 2 people in mind if it ever comes to that. bellong would be hired as the father & tpia would play the role of the mother. according to TBN data, they are the most potent prayer warriors on NL.

Plus siblings of the grooms parents sef

coogar:

which deal?




i already have 2 people in mind if it ever comes to that. bellong would be hired as the father & tpia would play the role of the mother. according to TBN data, they are the most potent prayer warriors on NL.

50k wouldn't hire me.

Like Kulyie said, I can help you with the complete package... Siblings, cousins, nieces etc

So coogar bottom line is 50k is too small. Do you know how much they sell gele, standard lace for the parents of the groom and siblings of the grooms parents not to talk of other relatives like cousins, uncles and aunties etc.aso ebi is not something to be joked with.one decent lace alone is 30,000naira for 6yards so calculate it for other family members. I have not even put money for shoe and bag to match



including Bible and money for indian hair and makeup artist and other accessories

bellong:



50k wouldn't hire me.

Like Kulyie said, I can help you with the complete package... Siblings, cousins, nieces etc

for this NL? famili transactions??

na wa ooooo.... i must wake up ooo

bellong:


50k wouldn't hire me.

Like Kulyie said, I can help you with the complete package... Siblings, cousins, nieces etc

oga bellong, name your price!

SAMBARRY: So coogar bottom line is 50k is too small. Do you know how much they sell gele, standard lace for the parents of the groom and siblings of the grooms parents not to talk of other relatives like cousins, uncles and aunties etc.aso ebi is not something to be joked with.one decent lace alone is 30,000 naira for 6yards so calculate it for other family members. I have not even put money for shoe and bag to match
including Bible and money for indian hair and makeup artist and other accessories

so how much will this cost? i want a rough estimate.

The ministry is moving. Nigerian men wahala don reach Cameroon .

On a serious note, until you as an individual stand on your ground, the parents will never let go.
She has to let them know why he is different.

[size=2pt]If my daughter says same thing, I bet you amma take a longgggg vacation, private investigators to dig up the family history. I no wan hear story.

The only exception here is beeevan last son.[/size]

coogar:

oga bellong, name your price!

Negotiation can't be done in advance until when you are ready. Prices are subject to international and current market rate....

May God help you

sihom:



Guys do not underestimate or take for granted the blessing of a parent over an intended union. Sometimes when they rant & rave there's some gut feeling at work about that potential spouse we as children have presented and want to marry. Gut feelings are hard to explain but its a strong feeling telling you something is not right even when you can't place your finger on what it is.

Parents often see things which we are unable to, because of that emotion called loved. I've seen some relatives & acquaintances run into some serious gbese because they ignored the blessing of a parent. Remember these people took care of you from infancy to adulthood, no man or woman can ever love you like they do.

The least we can do is honour them and try to win them over where potential spouses are concerned.

Chillisauce: The ministry is moving. Nigerian men wahala don reach Cameroon .

On a serious note, until you as an individual stand on your ground, the parents will never let go.
She has to let them know why he is different.

[size=2pt]If my daughter says same thing, I bet you amma take a longgggg vacation, private investigators to dig up the family history. I no wan hear story.

The only exception here is beeevan last son.[/size]

Chilli why last? The first is very much eligible

coogar:

oga bellong, name your price!



so how much will this cost? i want a rough estimate.

at least 3 million which will cover other miselenous like hotel bills of the clients, feeding of the guests, and so on and so forth

SAMBARRY: at least 3 million which will cover other miselenous like hotel bills of the clients, feeding of the guests, and so on and so forth

hahahaha
£11,000 because you want to act as my mama? this thing is about N1,000 in oshodi. your price is too steep!

bellong:
Negotiation can't be done in advance until when you are ready. Prices are subject to international and current market rate....

so you can't even guesstimate?

At least 3million will cover all expenses and lgistics.its almost like paying for the whole wedding organisation, logistics etc . You don't need to lift a finger. All you just do is call and say this is how I want this or how I want it to be.


Renting folks from oshodi isn't to good because you don't want to rent illiterates who don't look presentable or will embarrass you at your wedding, rushing for food etc.we will make your money worth it. The ones at oshodi maybe lesser but it will be rowdy and devoid of class . they won't even help you out with the organisation of the whole isshh

coogar:

hahahaha
£11,000 because you want to act as my mama? this thing is about N1,000 in oshodi. your price is too steep!



so you can't even guesstimate?