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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / "The Imperfections Of Marriage!" ~ Pav 2 (2901 Views)
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"The Imperfections Of Marriage!" ~ Pav 2 by bukatyne(f): 3:01pm On Aug 19, 2014 |
I opened this thread previously but derailed it myself "THE IMPERFECTIONS OF MARRIAGE!" ~ PAV Many times God will use the imperfections of your spouse to perfect an imperfection in you. Did you all catch that? Let me say it again. Many times, God will use the imperfections of your spouse to perfect an imperfection in you. Let me explain. https://www.facebook.com/BeTrulyFaithful/photos/a.212819528767214.53317.173463362702831/557547304294433/?type=1&comment_id=736043729778122¬if_t=like Let's discuss 1 Like |
Re: "The Imperfections Of Marriage!" ~ Pav 2 by bukatyne(f): 3:01pm On Aug 19, 2014 |
5minsmadness, over to you |
Re: "The Imperfections Of Marriage!" ~ Pav 2 by 5minsmadness: 3:37pm On Aug 19, 2014 |
Was actually more interested in the 'Nigerian god' issue However, If you have watched the film 'fireproof' it depicts what the OP is trying to explain here perfectly. Iys a film every couple should watch. Marriage is not about trying to correct the fault in your partner - that should have been taken into consideration when you two were dating - marriage is about making yourself better so you partner can enjoy you more. I'm going to be a bit biased here and talk to the ladies a bit since the topic already addressed the man. Some ladies have a tendency to want marriage to be all about themselves, vis: What can the man do for me? What can he provide for me? What is he going to give up for me? When is he coming home early to me? He should treat me like a princess. He should be able to be patient with me. Etc etc. BUT What have you done for the man? What can you provide for him? What will you give up for him? Why should he come home early to you? Do you treat him like a king? Are you forgiving towards him(after all men make most of the mistakes) Marriage should sha be about sacrifice. 4 Likes |
Re: "The Imperfections Of Marriage!" ~ Pav 2 by bukatyne(f): 3:58pm On Aug 19, 2014 |
5minsmadness: Was actually more interested in the 'Nigerian god' issue All derailers... I agree with you. What interested me most in the write up is that it's from the husband and the advice the Holy Spirit is quite very different from what a typical pastor/Iman/elder will give The advice will be suited more towards the wife is bla bla and should learn to be submissive. I wonder if there are different |
Re: "The Imperfections Of Marriage!" ~ Pav 2 by pickabeau1: 6:46pm On Aug 19, 2014 |
who is this pav.. is he a pastor |
Re: "The Imperfections Of Marriage!" ~ Pav 2 by MizMyColi(f): 7:05pm On Aug 19, 2014 |
Eishhhhhh! The truth in this post is quite unsettling. 3 Likes |
Re: "The Imperfections Of Marriage!" ~ Pav 2 by bukatyne(f): 8:29pm On Aug 19, 2014 |
MizMyColi: Eishhhhhh! The truth in this post is quite unsettling. Unsettling? Why? Welcome to the thread |
Re: "The Imperfections Of Marriage!" ~ Pav 2 by bukatyne(f): 8:39pm On Aug 19, 2014 |
pickabeau1: who is this pav.. is he a pastor Yea Short for Pastor Anthonio Vance. He does the facebook stuff with his wife Octavia E. Vance 1 Like |
Re: "The Imperfections Of Marriage!" ~ Pav 2 by bukatyne(f): 8:41pm On Aug 19, 2014 |
@RoyalRoy, Thanks a lot. 1 Like |
Re: "The Imperfections Of Marriage!" ~ Pav 2 by pickabeau1: 8:43pm On Aug 19, 2014 |
this explains a lot in the last thread you/he said something about love taking hurt and hurt until the Spirit convicts the person right? Infinite Forgiveness.. etc What do u think of pro 27.5 bukatyne: |
Re: "The Imperfections Of Marriage!" ~ Pav 2 by bukatyne(f): 8:50pm On Aug 19, 2014 |
pickabeau1: this explains a lot Better is open rebuke than hidden love... What has did got to do with the topic? |
Re: "The Imperfections Of Marriage!" ~ Pav 2 by MizMyColi(f): 8:54pm On Aug 19, 2014 |
bukatyne:There's a spirit in Man. The inspiration of the Almighty gives him understanding. The understanding expressed in the original post is one that resonates with the understanding I've been having lately. Its more like a burden (But you know Abba's burdens are very lightweight). I have this calling to manage relationships. More like a minister of reconciliation. The testimony expressed in the OP is akin to the transformation that occurred in my family. I never believed I could love my Mom and Siblings like I do now. The Laughter in our house feels like its been that way since forever. I was/am the agent of change in our home. I gave it all to God and everyone of us changed. (I'm actually making the story lighter). Now it feels like Abba wants me to do the same, in a marriage relationship this time. On my way back from work, I mused over this post, and I'm asking Dad, Why me, why shouldn't it be the man who wants to change me, why do I have to be the one to bear this, why? why? (I literally did that). Then he drops a line: That he gives the toughest battles to his toughest soldiers. I really wish I could say more. This should suffice 1 Like |
Re: "The Imperfections Of Marriage!" ~ Pav 2 by pickabeau1: 8:55pm On Aug 19, 2014 |
Am i right to say you advocate for a love that takes hurt and hurt until the Spirit convicts the person right? Infinite Forgiveness.. etc is that correct? bukatyne: |
Re: "The Imperfections Of Marriage!" ~ Pav 2 by egopersonified(f): 9:06pm On Aug 19, 2014 |
5minsmadness, I used to be all these you decribed, but I learnt from my husband what love really meant. Imagine after an argument where normally, I have ranted for long, the next thing he says is 'honey, am going out, do you need anything?' and am like this guy no no say we dey quarrel? The one that started getting me embarassed was when I borrow money, I dont pay back but when he borrows, he pays to the last kobo, I stopped collecting it back out of shame. I then learnt how to report him to God when he annoys me instead of lashing out at him, but like the opening post, God always turns it around to me and I found out my attitude began to change. Recently, I dont even see some as faults any more. I'm still not perfect but we have come a looooooooong way. 5 Likes |
Re: "The Imperfections Of Marriage!" ~ Pav 2 by Royver(m): 9:38pm On Aug 19, 2014 |
pickabeau1: this explains a lot Very interesting point. It is better to correct a person[in love] than to hide that person's fault out of love. however I think its a more flexible arrangement of humbling by example that this op tries to give us. And how do you reconcile Prov 27.5 with Matt 7.5? |
Re: "The Imperfections Of Marriage!" ~ Pav 2 by pickabeau1: 10:11pm On Aug 19, 2014 |
You see the light...! For now.. i want to get the POV of the PAV/bukatyne and get how this unlimited forgiveness thing works Royver: |
Re: "The Imperfections Of Marriage!" ~ Pav 2 by bukatyne(f): 10:32pm On Aug 19, 2014 |
egopersonified: 5minsmadness, I used to be all these you decribed, but I learnt from my husband what love really meant. Imagine after an argument where normally, I have ranted for long, the next thing he says is 'honey, am going out, do you need anything?' and am like this guy no no say we dey quarrel? The one that started getting me embarassed was when I borrow money, I dont pay back but when he borrows, he pays to the last kobo, I stopped collecting it back out of shame. I then learnt how to report him to God when he annoys me instead of lashing out at him, but like the opening post, God always turns it around to me and I found out my attitude began to change. Recently, I dont even see some as faults any more. I'm still not perfect but we have come a looooooooong way. You know, some men do not know what it entails to lead their homes. You are lucky you have a rare one beside you. 1 Like |
Re: "The Imperfections Of Marriage!" ~ Pav 2 by bukatyne(f): 10:36pm On Aug 19, 2014 |
MizMyColi: There's a spirit in Man. The inspiration of the Almighty gives him understanding. Hmm It is my turn to say unsettling. Doing marriage/life God's way is hard but easier than doing it the world/culture's way and trying to apply godly principles to it. I pray God gives you the strenght to carry through. |
Re: "The Imperfections Of Marriage!" ~ Pav 2 by MizMyColi(f): 10:38pm On Aug 19, 2014 |
bukatyne:Honestly, yeah. |
Re: "The Imperfections Of Marriage!" ~ Pav 2 by bukatyne(f): 10:43pm On Aug 19, 2014 |
pickabeau1: Am i right to say you advocate for a love that takes hurt and hurt until the Spirit convicts the person right? I advocate we leading lives as Christians for those who are. It is to adapt to your partner's imperfections while you pray for change or adapt. Note it is an imperfection or a flaw in character. I am sure you know I or 2 people who are good but impatient, unapologetic;unforgiving etc. and you will try to relate with them while skirting their ish. Stuffs like abuse, cheating etc. are not imperfections and I am not advocatng anyone should stayput. 1 Like |
Re: "The Imperfections Of Marriage!" ~ Pav 2 by bukatyne(f): 10:51pm On Aug 19, 2014 |
pickabeau1: You see the light...! God said we should forgive 70 x 7 daily and no body can beat that It is more of knowing your partner's flaws and praying for him/her to change + grace to endure while they are changing. If I know that my hubby will always scatter our wardrobe, it will be unwise of me to keep complaining about it: it will be better I change the way I view his scattering our wardrobe while praying for him to change. |
Re: "The Imperfections Of Marriage!" ~ Pav 2 by pickabeau1: 11:00pm On Aug 19, 2014 |
Thanks,... which is why i quoted the second verse which states that letting the personal flaws of someone slide by in the name of love causes more problems... wat do u think? He whom the father loves...he chastises..... Why should unlimited forgiveness be advocated for the hubby and constant strife tolerated for the woman contrary to the fruits of the Spirit? bukatyne: |
Re: "The Imperfections Of Marriage!" ~ Pav 2 by Royver(m): 12:22am On Aug 20, 2014 |
bukatyne:And what are implying by this statement? Your very OP tells you that if you feel you have a difficult husband then you change him by first of all changing yourself. Saying good men are "rare" does not help your point. 2 Likes |
Re: "The Imperfections Of Marriage!" ~ Pav 2 by Royver(m): 12:26am On Aug 20, 2014 |
bukatyne: Once again, whose rule books are you using to draw the line? Where do you define your imperfections from? If your Christ was able to forgive those who crucified him, shouldn't you be able to do same as well? Is it the trivial/small things things in marriage that make a person imperfect but once it gets tough you are justified in leaving? 4 Likes |
Re: "The Imperfections Of Marriage!" ~ Pav 2 by 5minsmadness: 1:01am On Aug 20, 2014 |
bukatyne:Rare how? Are you also saying having a good wife is also rare? Modified... I see someone else has already addressed you on that 2 Likes |
Re: "The Imperfections Of Marriage!" ~ Pav 2 by pickabeau1: 5:28am On Aug 20, 2014 |
Very good point.... Royver: |
Re: "The Imperfections Of Marriage!" ~ Pav 2 by Nobody: 5:45am On Aug 20, 2014 |
bukatyne:So, you're saying that women shouldn't or are under no obligation to tow the path Mr. EgoPers did? |
Re: "The Imperfections Of Marriage!" ~ Pav 2 by Nobody: 5:50am On Aug 20, 2014 |
Royver: Beautiful, I was about pointing that out |
Re: "The Imperfections Of Marriage!" ~ Pav 2 by Nobody: 6:01am On Aug 20, 2014 |
bukatyne:Erm, what are they? |
Re: "The Imperfections Of Marriage!" ~ Pav 2 by Nobody: 6:03am On Aug 20, 2014 |
bukatyne:Hahahaaha. Scattered wardrobes cause family disputes? Buka, please tell me you're joking. 2 Likes |
Re: "The Imperfections Of Marriage!" ~ Pav 2 by Alikaxon(m): 7:09am On Aug 20, 2014 |
egopersonified: 5minsmadness, I used to be all these you decribed, but I learnt from my husband what love really meant. Imagine after an argument where normally, I have ranted for long, the next thing he says is 'honey, am going out, do you need anything?' and am like this guy no no say we dey quarrel? The one that started getting me embarassed was when I borrow money, I dont pay back but when he borrows, he pays to the last kobo, I stopped collecting it back out of shame. I then learnt how to report him to God when he annoys me instead of lashing out at him, but like the opening post, God always turns it around to me and I found out my attitude began to change. Recently, I dont even see some as faults any more. I'm still not perfect but we have come a looooooooong way.He is just like me... You are lucky.. Adore him.. |
Re: "The Imperfections Of Marriage!" ~ Pav 2 by bukatyne(f): 9:46pm On Aug 20, 2014 |
Royver: Considering the fact that a male pastor wrote about his wife's imperfection and how the Holy Spirit told him to handle it to a male audience, I quite do not get your post. Or is this a case of seeing what we want to see as usual? 1 Like |
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