Kachisbarbie:
Lol...very true tho. those ones they stubborn welllll.

Hehehe, very o, when dem born u for that kind noise, I remembr one joke or so my friend told me, he said there's this lady that gave birth in the area of Oshodi, so this new baby cried and cried, that every attemp to make him stop crying failed, so they consulted a Muslim cleric or whatever it's called, after some prayers and other necessary things, the cleric said after a deep sigh, he said, ' the reason this baby is crying is because the first time this child came to the world, he lived in the area of Oshodi, so this particular child came back to the same Oshodi again so this is really getting the child upset, so that's the reason for the wailing.lol

Truth remains that there is no system that works generally, that it worked for mr A doesn't mean it will work for mr B. If beating works on your kids, good. If just talking does the trick, even better. If naughty corner and other forms of funny punishments is ur thing, use it. The most important thing in life is regulation. Just make sure that you never cross the boundaries.

All this pple wey dey say no beating, una neva jam stubborn akpors. What happens if you punish a child and the child bluntly refuses to do the punishment. Mama, when a child begins to use words like "No", "I Won't", "Shut Up Mum" and the kid starts to cuss at. Please that's a signal for codeRED. Buy koboko with the kids name customized on it.

makes me remember when i was a junior in secondary anytime seniors want to flog us for skipping compound work the compound master will tell them "BEAT THEM BUT DON'T WOUND THEM" they will shout and jubilate

I'm a Christian and this is my submission

Proverbs 22:15

Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him


Proverbs 23:13-14

13 Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die.
14 Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.

Proverbs 29:15

The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.

PS: these verses do not in any way support extreme actions, beating till marks & scars are acquired, rubbing pepper on body parts etc

Rod of correction could also refer to verbal correction, after all the book of proverbs contains words of wisdom spoken from a father to a child(David to Solomon)

Beating up a child spices up d child's lyf...BUT u must alwayz ve a GOOD reason 4 such...be careful on how u go abt it bcus dey bcum immune 2 beating nd datz rily DANGEROUS...

well, Balance is all what matters

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chizzy94: I promised myself I was going to make a pact with my kids when I eventually marry and give birth to one that they will never get into trouble for telling me the truth.

Even at that, I still do not support the beating of kids. Why not talk to them?? Show them you love them and they'll love you too and with that, they wouldn't do anything to hurt themselves and their parents. Love is of the utmost importance here and you don't show that with a rod!

beating your kids don't mean you hate them. I am yet to see the grown man who hates his parents cos they whipped his butt. My father died many years ago and as a grown man now, some of my best memories of him was with a cane in his hand. It's part of what makes us Africans. Like I said before, whatever works for a parent is best.

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chizzy94:

Yeah, sure. You're absolutely right but beating them don't just make the cut for me.

Even the biblical 'beating' don't really mean leaving scars on their body or something. They'd one day grow above the cane and that might be a problem.

There were times I erred as a Kid and I wouldn't be beaten but the moment I was talked to, the tears doesn't waste time before it starts rolling out.
That leaves you a memory and memories are everything!

Sure, everything in the world can be easily abused. I don't have kids yet but I take serious exception when teacher beat my nephews and nieces. Sometimes injuring them in the process.
That is not beating, that's abuse, molestation and bully. There are boundaries that shouldn't be crossed even when talking to a child.
Regularity has to be key, Not because a parent has made up his/her mind not to beat a kid, he says really hurtful things to the child that could cause psychological damage.
I think the reason african kids are psychologically stronger then their foreign counterparts is because african parents diversify discipline.

Joshuadon:

IN ONE WORD - SPARE THE ROD ND SPOIL THE KID....

DATS KIND OF A CLICHÈ....BUT DATS D TRUTH...

its ninteen words.if you cant correct a 5 year old kid with probably an age gap of 20-25 years between you without physical abuse then you are more damaged than he/she is.

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pussypounder: my dad wants me to stop posting on nairaland else hes gonna smash my head into the keyboaevfrhebpifvrinehvfrqkmwqkdmjwediefcrji

u well so?

Ofcourse its very possible but some Nigerians are so used to the mentality that if you don't cane a child,such a child will get spoilt.

Different strokes for different folks anyway,its simply a matter of choice for each person.

I don't ve kids yet but I think I will beat my kids moderately.
My sisters 4 year old is a thorn in everybody's flesh. Always climbing and destroying things,sometimes I even feel she's possessed. She frustrates everybody and can beat everyone. Sometimes when I am in their house I do respond to her bad manners by spanking her. My sister and hubby doesn't spank and train their kids. A child that tells the dad and mum that she will slap them,she picks up the belt and beat anybody with it even her own parents. I told my sister to toughen up but the hubby will say no one should touch his kids.
Today my sister was telling me she would take her to church for childrens deliverance during the week.
With what I have seen with my sister's kid I won't give my kids chance to be spoilt. I have made my resolve to toughen up and apply the rod where necessary. They both left so many things to chance when they were so small and now its getting increasingly difficult to correct the child.

Horayce: In the west, kids are generally not beaten,yet they grow up to be responsible and well behaved citizens for the most part; can't say the same for Nigeria with our holier than thou attitudes on raising kids. My siblings and I were not flogged and we turned out ok, it's entirely possible dude.

Do you really mean western kids are well behaved? Hmmmm. Please can you illustrate how you came to this conclusion.

However, consider these two scriptures

1.Rod (beating) and reproof (correction, caution) giveth wisdom and a child left to himself bringeth his Mother shame.

2. Chasten your child while you can and let your heart not rend ( melt) for his cries.

God is the author of man and only He has the true instruction for dealing with him.
Mothers in the house advocating contrary positions beware! It is you that your unchastised child will bring shame.

remsonik: I don't ve kids yet but I think I will beat my kids moderately.
My sisters 4 year old is a thorn in everybody's flesh. Always climbing and destroying things,sometimes I even feel she's possessed. She frustrates everybody and can beat everyone. Sometimes when I am in their house I do respond to her bad manners by spanking her. My sister and hubby doesn't spank and train their kids. A child that tells the dad and mum that she will slap them,she picks up the belt and beat anybody with it even her own parents. I told my sister to toughen up but the hubby will say no one should touch his kids.
Today my sister was telling me she would take her to church for childrens deliverance during the week.
With what I have seen with my sister's kid I won't give my kids chance to be spoilt. I have made my resolve to toughen up and apply the rod where necessary. They both left so many things to chance when they were so small and now its getting increasingly difficult to correct the child.

It is very unfortunate the devil takes the blame for our all laxities. Hope the deliverance works.

Lightening:

Do you really mean western kids are well behaved? Hmmmm. Please can you illustrate how you came to this conclusion.

However, consider these two scriptures

1.Rod (beating) and reproof (correction, caution) giveth wisdom and a child left to himself bringeth his Mother shame.

2. Chasten your child while you can and let your heart not rend ( melt) for his cries.

God is the author of man and only He has the true instruction for dealing with him.
Mothers in the house advocating contrary positions beware! It is you that your unchastised child will bring shame.

Inspite of our religiosity and our penchant for quoting scripture has that translated to us having a fair and orderly society? Are adults and leaders in Nigeria role models of good behavior? Isn't injustice and corruption more rife over here? Are women and minorities treated with dignity and respect? I could go on. Some of these things are darn obvious and hardly need emphasizing.

Op i dont think it is possible cos some kids can make one act on 'involuntary reflex beating'.

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If u don't beat a child when neccesary, u basically spoil d child. Even d holy book BIBLE God's word. Prov 13:24. Just use discretion in doing dat.

Horayce: In the west, kids are generally not beaten,yet they grow up to be responsible and well behaved citizens for the most part; can't say the same for Nigeria with our holier than thou attitudes on raising kids. My siblings and I were not flogged and we turned out ok, it's entirely possible dude.

U want us to believe you are responsible?

teeboo:

Only God knws if dey derive pleasure in making d house look untidy,am experiencing d same thing,my 15months old son can climb anything he nearly fell frm dinning table som days back thank God I was around,he'll empty his box of cloth on d floor,2 them dey're just having fun

hmm.was just tinkn of takn my daughta for psychological evaluation until I read sm of d comments.hyperactive is her second name.she is just 3 and gvs m more work dan 15 children joined togeda.she jumps climbs run hop scatter rearrange u just name it.she likes dishwasher I sometimes questiob her if she was deprived of water her previois life.wash hands like dre was no tomoro.dts gud though but she ova does it.she plays d role of a stylist, carpenter, laundry woman, electrician, even a cook.d list is endless she even made me think twice abt havn anoda baby for now cos I cant imagine having anoda warrior like dt.welll sometyms I spank d shit out of her.but I always try as much ad possible to avoid dt.in all childre are beautiful troubles.

Beat them now,they will come back to thank you.
I still remember dos days wen i used to bedwet,mumcy will flog me and combo it with 'abara',i cry and think she doesn't love me but i thank God now,He healed me from bed-wetting nd i love my mom(i could see her,remember dos experiences and just smile).
'i still dey remember dos days,mumcy go carry cane wan flog me,i would run out of the house'
i would advise you beat and later chat with d kid(teachin him right and wrong) and always tell ur kid 'I love you'.
sweetest mother word-MOTHER.
Please beat them all

Sometimes, they make concentration impossible during church service. I walk the two girls out of church and give thorough beating. When they return, they behave well. You need this kind of action to save yourself from embarrassment

iwakolewa: I believe it's possible not to beat a child if you do not want to,my kids are very hyperactive and they do the naughtiest of things. ...all I do is apply patience and wisdom,many parents do not have the patience to deal with kids especially kids that are ages 18 months to about 8 years...I spanked my 4year old daughter in the presence of my mum one time,and my mum was so upset,nothing wey she no talk that day. ...that I was worse than my kids at stressing her and so I shouldn't beat my kids again,she then took her time to tell me the things I did as a child. ...it was so funny, so I decided that my kids were just being what they are,children. So I'd rather discipline and mete out what I deem to be punishment,like for my almost 5year old daughter, anytime she gets naughty,I make her count 1-200,if she makes mistakes, she'll start again, and it has helped me and her too.....or I tell her to lie down and sleep,na by force sleep o,she hates siestas...once I say,lie down,she'll just say mummy,sorry, I won't do it again

wow..nw I wanna b a father.

"Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him" (Proverbs 22:15).

aolatunde00: I told myself same thing and it's becoming increasingly more difficult to abide by with my 21month old son.
He runs the water dispenser almost everyday completely running it out on the kitchen floor at least once
He goes to his clothes drawer to empty the neatly ironed and folded clothes.
He empties his laundry basket too;at least twice a day
This is minus going to turn off/on wall sockets as soon as no one is around.
He's also pulled a standing wall mirror on himself crashing it in the process and slightly bruising himself.
I have introduced spanking on the bum to caution him
Have I also mentioned he's a pro in climbing any and all things?chairs,dinning tables,centre table,climbs into his own high chair amongst many others?
He needs to be cautioned before he endNgers himself unknowinhlu

I have a son too, similar age as yours doing almost similar things and I have never had to spank him. When he was younger, I tried to define the tone of my voice with him. All I need do now is call his name with my angry tone and he stops. Sometimes, just a stern look at him and he knows he is doing something wrong and stops.

My point is you CAN correct a child at THIS age without spanking. He/she just needs to know when you are joking or serious. At this age they are very manipulative. You have to make sure you are not manipulated by them. Once they know that you cannot be manipulated, they behave.

As for spanking a child, I think that they may deserve it once in a while, when they are much older. By the time they get to their teens or secondary school(whichever comes first) we should be having more talks with less spanking.

These are my thoughts.

Yomieluv: Spanking is good,where necessary,don't leave a bruise.

The heart of a child is strong,only cane soften it.

Am a living example,if not mum's use of cane,I would have gone bad,the thought of the cane always put a strain on my activities at times.

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In addition to this, growing children are strong willed. So, they will end up doing/testing/enjoying their wish to its fullest(no matter the consequence) until a stronger will(or force) appears in the picture. But their is different btw growing children(foundation) and grown up children(lintel). Show me a child that grew without beating and I will show you the hallmark of indiscipline, disobedient and maybe even waywardness. You can compare the rational behaviour of an average Nigerian child with their counterparts in US or UK with anti beating policy. One cool guy can just wake up one morning and decide to pocket a gun to school, and the rest will be news. Beating(to correct and not to punish) and lovely counsel helps a lot in bending growing children to submission.

The whites believe we shouldn't beat,but allow the child to experience life by himself. However, this is African! Its in our values to beat if necessary,but not batter a child. I was dealt with by my dad very well when I was a child and I can't but thank God for my dads disciplinary nature.