I was at a wedding last week and I was surprised when the groom called the bride's immediate elder sister by her first name. This sister is also married with kid and I wondered if that was right. At least he should have addressed her by her child's name.

The so-called sister happens to be very close to me. I had wanted to discuss it with her but don't know if she does see it the way I'm seeing it and I don't want to create enmity between the 2 of them.

To me, as an African man, I think it is bad to address your in-laws by their first names especially the elderly ones even if he/she is not married

Do you think I am wrong?

How do you address your in-laws - elderly ones to your spouse?

in the olden. days- with respect

nowadays- anyhow cos of civilization.

l don't call my in laws by name. l give them nickname.

if any inlaw calls me by name- l wouldn't even answer l will just behave as if l didn't hear. nonsense.

Biliamin: I was at a wedding last week and I was surprised when the groom called the bride's immediate elder sister by her first name. This sister is also married with kid and I wondered if that was right. At least he should have addressed her by her child's name.

The so-called sister happens to be very close to me. I had wanted to discuss it with her but don't know if she does see it the way I'm seeing it and I don't want to create enmity between the 2 of them.

To me, as an African man, I think it is bad to address your in-laws by their first names especially the elderly ones even if he/she is not married

Do you think I am wrong?

How do you address your in-laws - elderly ones to your spouse?

lols

That is their own business & every family have their own ways of doing things.

For all you know, the groom could have been an old friend of the sister. They could have even been mates in school

So long as they are not worried about it, then leave them be; as long everyone respects each other regardless of age.

You mean my girlfriends.'sisters? Ok fine. I have no problem with that cos I as a person can even call a one year old brother baby. its my trait.it's embedded in me like seriously. kindly note that respect is reciprocal.

Sorry, my brain is still booting, because it doesnt really know what to make of this topic.

No offence but I don't think it's your business @ Op. This I must say is a case of using Panadol for another man's headache.

chaircover: That is their own business & every family have their own ways of doing things.

For all you know, the groom could have been an old friend of the sister. They could have even been mates in school

So long as they are not worried about it, then leave them be; as long everyone respects each other regardless of age.

As long as he decided to marry his friend's sister among all women in the world, the friend has automatically become an in law and not a friend again and is expected to be addressed as such.

Zehner: No offence but I don't think it's your business @ Op. This I must say is a case of using Panadol for another man's headache.

Its not... but I just decided to share it here to see if I'm wrong with my thinking or not cos this has ever been my belief/understanding as a Yoruba man

Biliamin:

As long as he decided to marry his friend's sister among all women in the world, the friend has automatically become an in law and not a friend again and is expected to be addressed as such.

and what if the sister personally instructed him address her by her name? you are using panadol for another woman's headache.

Biliamin:

As long as he decided to marry his friend's sister among all women in the world, the friend has automatically become an in law and not a friend again and is expected to be addressed as such.

By whose standards? Yours or theirs.
Each family has its own way of doing things. . . .some families have a daddys cup some dont; some eat fish on Fridays & some dont.

So long as its not you you that they are calling a name you dont like then it really shouldnt bother you. You dont even know if she is OK with it
There is a lot more things to worry about than what a BIL chooses to call his own SIL. If she is not OK with it, then its btween the 2 of them.

coogar:

Coogar!!!!! Long time no see.
Can I say I told you so . . . remember the Oscar arguments we had

You will address him/her the way ur spouse addresses him\her

My hubby is the last child of his mother and he is older than me. That means all his siblings are older than me so i call them what my hubby calls them.
But he has a younger step brother who happens to be me very good friend (same university, same dept, same level). I met hubby after i have know this my friend for almost 10years. It wasn't a match make. I met my hubby independently.

We call each other by our names even till when i started dating my hubby. He didn't have a problem with that. Unfortunately, after our wedding, my friend's mother (my hubby's step mother) warned me not to call her son by his name again because our school friendship or whatever we want to call it had ended and he is now my baba oko (bro-in-law). I had grant her wish (though my friend didn't like it) but our relationship was never the same again..... i had to start calling him ''brother xyz'' and he started using ''e'' for me but we just couldn't flow with it

chaircover:

Coogar!!!!! Long time no see.
Can I say I told you so . . . remember the Oscar arguments we had

what about it?
i said he wasn't guilty of murder, you said he was. the judge said he wasn't.....

i should be saying i told y'all so.....

coogar:

what about it?
i said he wasn't guilty of murder, you said he was. the judge said he wasn't.....

i should be saying i told y'all so.....

We mostly said manslaughter o!
You said he was innocent

chaircover:

We mostly said manslaughter o!
You said he was innocent

cheiiiii - you all said he's guilty of murder. you said he was in a jealous rage & he intentionally shot her....the intent is what is in dispute. everyone knew he pulled the trigger.

i said he's not guilty of murder - that he shot at her thinking it was an intruder. that alone should tell you i meant he's guilty of manslaughter & not murder.

coogar:

cheiiiii - you all said he's guilty of murder. you said he was in a jealous rage & he intentionally shot her....the intent is what is in dispute. everyone knew he pulled the trigger.

i said he's not guilty of murder - that he shot at her thinking it was an intruder. that alone should tell you i meant he's guilty of manslaughter & not murder.

Where is that thread sef

Dont use grammer to bambozle me o!

We said that they probably had an argument and she said something terible to him ase ran off to the bathroom and ina moment of anger he picked up his gun and shot at the door. . . That is Not premeditated murder!

You said it was an intruder from the start and you educated us on how a man can leave his bed without realising that his gf wasnt beside him

I hate people like this poster with passion.

chaircover:
Where is that thread sef

Dont use grammer to bambozle me o!

We said that they probably had an argument and she said something terible to him ase ran off to the bathroom and ina moment of anger he picked up his gun and shot at the door. . . That is Not premeditated murder!

it's premeditated murder or at least second degree murder. he was found NOT guilty of both charges......so you & others were wrong.

You said it was an intruder from the start and you educated us on how a man can leave his bed without realising that his gf wasnt beside him

and that's what the judge said too. even if it was an intruder, it's still illegal for oscar to shoot at him. he should be calling the cops. so he is guilty of manslaughter......not premeditated murder or second degree murder.

you lost, i won.

coogar:

it's premeditated murder or at least second degree murder. he was found NOT guilty of both charges......so you & others were wrong.



and that's what the judge said too. even if it was an intruder, it's still illegal for oscar to shoot at him. he should be calling the cops. so he is guilty of manslaughter......not premeditated murder or second degree murder.

you lost, i won.

Lemme go and find that thread . . .cos now you are twisting the whole thing
Nashville Pickabeau come and rescue me from this coogar

chaircover:

Lemme go and find that thread . . .cos now you are twisting the whole thing
Nashville Pickabeau come and rescue me from this coogar

NL tsunami swallowed the thread.
i said he wasn't guilty of murder....you & others were adamant he was guilty of murder. the judge agreed with my theory that there wasn't enough evidence to convict him of murder(1st or second degree)

you are trying to use ibadan sense for me.....it cannot work. you owe me a big public apology for doubting my vast knowledge in legal matters.

So addressing people by their given name is now a taboo?

Ur own name kwa?

Chei!

Cultural etiketi 101.

Learning new things for future purpose..........

I call my SIL aunty so so and so becos my husband calls her so. I use my sense to call the younger sister aunty too because i know she is older than i am. But the rest of his younger ones, i call them by their names because he didnt tell me their age

Of all things to be thinking about, na wetin person dey call, another person

Jusy requires common sense.
Address the famil members the way your husband or wife addresses them.
Simples

Stillfire: I hate people like this poster with passion.

Lol! Why na?

The desire to meddle and pick warts and holes in other people's businesses is inbred for his ilk. Just read and enjoy his 'rationalization'.

@OP: I call them by their first name(s). Now shoot me.

Na wa o. Different strokes for different folks. i have 5 elder siblings, all of them married and my hubby calls them by their first name. Funny bc i call them sis that or bro that, but they r cool with how my husband addresses them. My husband also have elder siblings and i call the m by their name except d eldest son who is in his forties. !BTW my husband is like a decade older than me o

It wouldn't have been an issue for them since whichever way the groom addressed her must have been based on their preexisting way of relating.

babyme1: Na wa o. Different strokes for different folks. i have 5 elder siblings, all of them married and my hubby calls them by their first name. Funny bc i call them sis that or bro that, but they r cool with how my husband addresses them. My husband also have elder siblings and i call the m by their name except d eldest son who is in his forties. !BTW my husband is like a decade older than me o

Wa o

I have often thot of this ,

My husband is the 5th in a family of six , those older than him call him by our son's name and the younger ones put brother before his name.

But for me na my first name all d way except for the nieces and nephews.

I know I came to the family young but after almost twenty years I for like a little respect. At least use my children name.

Biliamin: I was at a wedding last week and I was surprised when the groom called the bride's immediate elder sister by her first name. This sister is also married with kid and I wondered if that was right. At least he should have addressed her by her child's name.

The so-called sister happens to be very close to me. I had wanted to discuss it with her but don't know if she does see it the way I'm seeing it and I don't want to create enmity between the 2 of them.

To me, as an African man, I think it is bad to address your in-laws by their first names especially the elderly ones even if he/she is not married

Do you think I am wrong?

How do you address your in-laws - elderly ones to your spouse?

Isn't it women that should be concerned about these things?
Please face your work o
Na wa