A happy marriage is not one without ups and downs but IMHO one where both people love and respect each other and accommodate their human frailties.
Nobody is perfect and nobody can claim to be
But imagine for a second you could change something about your spouse
What will that be?

OK let me go first( I wrote this on another thread earlier)

My husband's greatest flaw IMHO is that If he takes someone in confidence and they slip or betray his trust or he has a perception of trust betrayed,he completely switches off that person and there is no going back to the way it was.
Some people mistake it to be arrogance but I know it isn't
I try to shield him by keeping some info I know about people from him so he doesn't judge them too harshly.
He can completely switch off from a group or association once he feels some vibes he's not comfortable with and once his mind is made up,it is made up.
I wish I could change that.

Babymama Lomg time no see

Hmmmmmm your question is a hard one o!
. . . cos If I want him to change some things, It means that I will have to change some things about me too and I don think I am prepared for that

and you call that a flaw?
i thought once beaten thrice shy.....babymama, tell us another flaw of his, this one isn't a flaw at all.

Babymama1:
My husband's greatest flaw IMHO is that If he takes someone in confidence and they slip or betray his trust or he has a perception of trust betrayed,he completely switches off that person and there is no going back to the way it was.

You see why I said I rather let things be & no one should try to change the other
I am exactly the same
You rarely get a second chance with me once youve fecked up
Hubby too tries to keep some peoples nonsense away from me too cos he knows that I wont forget and will keep you at arms length from that point.
I guess its because I dont do "kami kami" with people, so if you do it to me, the relationship changes.

coogar: and you call that a flaw?
i thought once beaten thrice shy.....babymama, tell us another flaw of his, this one isn't a flaw at all.

Are you the same way?
It is a big flaw IMHO
Look at this typical example
We were going to this church and we all loved it,the kids were doing wonderful in the puppet ministry and absolutely loved it

Then hubby noticed some things going on in the church amongst the senior members of the church about some blatant preferential treatments etc that I didn't think was a big deal,then suddenly we had to leave the Church.
My children cried and cried and that wasn't enough to make him change his mind

Babymama1:

Are you the same way?
It is a big flaw IMHO
Look at this typical example
We were going to this church and we all loved it,the kids were doing wonderful in the puppet ministry and absolutely loved it

Then hubby noticed some things going on in the church amongst the senior members of the church about preferential treatments etc that I didn't think was a big deal,then suddenly we had to leave the Church.
My children cried and cried and that wasn't enough to make him change his mind

it's for the greater good!
he did well noticing those things you failed to notice because of the weekly jollof rice you love to eat in that church.

i can't stand the preferential treatment ish in church too. it would pain me to the marrow if my kids get slighted as a result of this. it's better to be safe than sorry.

buy a big bottle of wine for your hubby for making that decision - he's got the gift of foresight.

chaircover:

You see why I said I rather let things be & no one should try to change the other
I am exactly the same
You rarely get a second chance with me once youve fecked up
Hubby too tries to keep some peoples nonsense away from me too cos he knows that I wont forget.
I guess its because I dont do "kami kami" with people, so if you do it to me, thats the end of the relationship.

Wow
I am the protector in my own family in that regard
Some things daddy must not hear
Right now we are in the process of selling a property ,contract has already been signed but he perceived some deceptions from the realtor and he has made up his mind to pull out from the deal and nothing will change his mind
I give people more benefits of the doubt unlike him

Babymama1:

Wow
I am the protector in my own family
Right now we are in the process of selling a property ,contract has already been signed but he perceived some deceptions from the realtor and he has made up his mind to pull out from the deal and nothing will change his mind
I give people more benefits of the doubt unlike him

The elders say its the position the calabash maintains, that determines from which angle it is picked up from.

If someone chooses to pay good with bad, then sorry I dont want that person round me, neither will I give you a second chance to do damage to me and my family.

Dont also forget that every situation is different and people have their reasons for doing things. Your husband must have weighed things up and for him to still be adamant after you have worked on him then there is something serious going on and you are going to have to trust his judgement.

coogar:

it's for the greater good!
he did well noticing those things you failed to notice because of the weekly jollof rice you love to eat in that church.

i can't stand the preferential treatment ish in church too. it would pain me to the marrow if my kids get slighted as a result of this. it's better to be safe than sorry.

buy a big bottle of wine for your hubby for making that decision - he's got the gift of foresight.

Ur crazy
Which church serves jollof rice every week

chaircover:

Ur crazy
Which church serves jollof rice every week

most of them.
someone must celebrate something - christening, birthday, marriage, graduation, job promotion, granted visas, house warming, burial, bazaar, etc

coogar:

it's for the greater good!
he did well noticing those things you failed to notice because of the weekly jollof rice you love to eat in that church.

i can't stand the preferential treatment ish in church too. it would pain me to the marrow if my kids get slighted as a result of this. it's better to be safe than sorry.

buy a big bottle of wine for your hubby for making that decision - he's got the gift of foresight.

You don come again

Babymama, what's your own flaw?

coogar:

most of them.
someone must celebrate something - christening, birthday, marriage, graduation, job promotion, granted visas, house warming, burial, bazaar, etc

Surely not every week haba!
I understand where BM is coming from especially as the kids are settled and happy there, but on the other hand, if they are not practising what they preach, what kind of examples are they giving to these same kids?

BM Your hubby is just very principled and unfotunately you cant pick and choose instances when he will show that trait and when he wont.
That is him and there will be many times when that trait will be of an advantage. You have a man of integrity there. A man who is not afraid to stand for what is right.

Stillfire: Babymama, what's your own flaw?

what else? sunday sunday jollof rice

MY HUBBY hmmm,,She talks seldom,she fit gather two years matter for mind,one good day she will tell u all u hav done in relation to that matter!she can hide any thing from u if she thinks u shouldnt know about such.(just saw something i hav bin workin on, in her posession ,even though she knows i need to see that thing and take decision about the thing).she can be very secretive and this can hurt me so bad.pls let some one (matured and married) give me some advice in relation to this.she is currently on a vacation wit my kid and i told her to examine and evaluate her ways before returnin back else,me no go gree about this excessive attitude of hers.she ended up laughin about this issue even when i told her i am kind of developin a HBP over this matters on ground.she ALSO WILL NEVER SAY I AM SORRY WHEN EVER SHE KNOWS I AM ANGRY

coogar:

it's for the greater good!
he did well noticing those things you failed to notice because of the weekly jollof rice you love to eat in that church.

i can't stand the preferential treatment ish in church too. it would pain me to the marrow if my kids get slighted as a result of this. it's better to be safe than sorry.

buy a big bottle of wine for your hubby for making that decision - he's got the gift of foresight.

This coogar eh

Mine I no know o

edwife:

This coogar eh

that's the truth!
anytime you see any naija woman sticking to a big church steadfastedly.....trust me, it's because of the jollof rice.

come rain, come snow - she will find her way to church by hook or crook on sunday. nothing will stop her, not even a curfew or police warning.

coogar:

that's the truth!
anytime you see any naija woman sticking to a big church steadfastedly.....trust me, it's because of the jollof rice.

come rain, come snow - she will find her way to church by hook or crook on sunday. nothing will stop her, not even a curfew or police warning.

Coogar ,which kind jollof rice that she can't cook herself?

and what will you say about men who stick to a church?

edwife:

Coogar ,which kind jollof rice that she can't cook herself?

and what will you say about men who stick to a church?

Dont mind Coogar o!
I dont know how many churches he has been to where they serve jollof rice every sunday
If anything, its the batchelors who cant cook, who will be interested

The flaws are too numerous to mention.

I'll pass.

edwife:

Coogar ,which kind jollof rice that she can't cook herself?

and what will you say about men who stick to a church?

jollof rice on a sunday can be time-consuming. by sunday, most people are already preparing for work.....to find a well-cooked awoof jollof rice can be very tempting.

men? men are mostly begged to attend churches. 80% of the bachelors you see in church are doing it to win the heart of a particular sister they are trying to catch.

chaircover:

Ur crazy
Which church serves jollof rice every week

Ours was monthly.we had a monthly foodfest at the church and I missed it greatly.come and see food

Babymama1:

Ours was monthly.we had a monthly foodfest at the church and I missed it greatly.come and see food

chaircover & edwife - what did i tell y'all?

chaircover:

Dont mind Coogar o!
I dont know how many churches he has been to where they serve jollof rice every sunday
If anything, its the batchelors who cant cook, who will be interested

Tell him o,they pack two sometimes and drinks ,most of them don't eat in church, the sisters will see them

coogar:

chaircover & edwife - what did i tell y'all?

Coogar will not kill me this evening

Stillfire: Babymama, what's your own flaw?

Hmm
I don't know how the man manages me wallahi
One time he made me angry and I was talking and he refused to respond
Nothing as annoying as that,dead cold silence
I said to myself babymama
How can I punish this man this morning ,that is eh , show him well well
I put his bunch of keys in my handbag and went to work and switched off my phone
Chai
He called me over 25 times whosai
He had to take a taxi to my place of work

edwife:

Coogar ,which kind jollof rice that she can't cook herself?

and what will you say about men who stick to a church?

men who stick to a church are lookin for cute gals and taking note of their next prey

Any way my greatest flaw is that when I get angry,I can say a lot of hurtful things I don't mean that I end up regretting but my anger is very short lived which is a good thing.
I don't bear a grudge for long

emeraldoe: men who stick to a church are lookin for cute gals and taking note of their next prey

Talking from experience?

edwife:

Talking from experience?

nah not at all

Hubby's too trusting, and I always have to say,I told you so