Our first son got engaged with a girl whom he could not finish the marriage rights with the inlaws due to misunderstandings with the mother of the girl. Now, the girl had a baby boy for my brother and decided to follow her mum's advice and left the marriage with the new baby. My question now is

1) Is the new baby the first son of our family?

2) is the girl the first wife in the family?

3) If the girl decides to come back after 10yrs, does she have any right in our family?

4) Should my brother still file for divorce since the marriage rights were not completed in the first place.

I ask because, this I think is a big case in the future. If the new boy is the first son of the family, automacally he is entitled to all his and my fathers assets and it's automatically going to her mother since they are the ones training him at the moment. What can we do minimise this trouble ahead for the next generation (my children and my siblings children). I can actually work harder for my children but imagine losing out my fathers properties to hungry hyeners. Pls any matured person should please say something.

Section 45(1) of the 1999 Constitution states that-paraphrase that no child shall be discriminated because of the circumstances surrounding his birth. So, the child has all the rights as a member of your family. On the issue of marriage, ex nihilo nihi fit- you can't something on nothing and expect it to stand. There was no marriage, so there can be no dissolution.

he could not finish the marriage rights with the inlaws

To what extent did the rights go? Expatiate, for it holds the keys to right answers.

Did he pay her bride price? But there was no signings at registry?

1. Yes, he is the first son
2. No, she's not first wife
3. 10yrs or 10secs, she was never a wife in the family.
4. Your brother can not file for divorce because there was no marriage in the first instance

So long as it was his spermatozoa that fertilized the egg that brought forth the boy, he is your nephew. Maybe until the boy is adopted with a clause legally nullifying your brother's right as his father.

Whatever moral advice you might need will need you to state what culture you are from.

Whether his mother's family like it or not, that child is his father's.

But your family should credit her at least for training the child. Many women will dump the child and leave. You seem to have a stereotyped mentality that she would come begging. Already calling her a hungry hyena is inappropriate. No one knows what 10yrs from now will bring.

This is my limited understanding.

bknight, your response is really intresting, and from you and Yosifperfect the son belongs to my family. I am a typical igbo man and I have to reason like one. The hungry hyena i meant was the mother because, the girl looks like she does not know exactly what she wants. The mum never supported the marriage from day 1 and it's all her game plan to stop the marriage. I am just sorry for brother that's why because, he is not having. I think whenever he make it, the mum will send the girl back. I am not sure if he finally paid the bride price but I will ask him. So...from your response, if I do everything and didn't pay the bride price, the girl is not yet my wife? Let me gist you small, in Igbo land there is what we call LIST....it's a list of items you have to fufil before paying the bride price. My brother collected the list and went back to fufil it. Usually, the two families and the kingsmen negotiate and argue on the list. So, in the cause of the arguments, the process was halted. I am not sure if he finally fufilled the listed items. Asuming he did and didn't pay the bride price, how will the court look at it. Or, is it only the bride price the court recorganises.

actually, d LIST is d bride price, if ur bro fulfilled d List then d woman is in Igbo custom recognised as his wife

nevermind d token money given to d inlaw which they usually return back

my advise is ensure to follow d matter to its logical comclusion now that ur parent and all d parties r alive else it will hunt u n ur family yrs later

hushmail: actually, d LIST is d bride price, if ur bro fulfilled d List then d woman is in Igbo custom recognised as his wife

nevermind d token money given to d inlaw which they usually return back

my advise is ensure to follow d matter to its logical comclusion now that ur parent and all d parties r alive else it will hunt u n ur family yrs later

This is my problem...but what if he did not complete the list? Assuming, he completed the list, I think I will tell my brother to file for divorce. The guy looks like he is no longer thinking with his brains.

mecussey:

This is my problem...but what if he did not complete the list? Assuming, he completed the list, I think I will tell my brother to file for divorce. The guy looks like he is no longer thinking with his brains.

guy u r d one nt thinking

he cant file 4 divorce if they r nt married

better still use d custmary courts to declare d union over

however hurry or it might be late

hushmail:

guy u r d one nt thinking

he cant file 4 divorce if they r nt married

better still use d custmary courts to declare d union over

however hurry or it might be late

You didnt read my post well. Someone said if the list is completed then they are married. I am assuming he completed the list here. I will ask him face to face when I go home. Women are very bad and can be poisonous.