Na like this e take start. (don't mind my pidgin)
When doing my gce some years back, e get this girl Wey come for holiday in my area. Mhen this girl is biutiful aswear. Was looking for a way to chyke her, but I no get liver. E get one of her friend Wey I dey beg make she help me arrange her number but that one dey do like pesin Wey get choco. (u know what I mean). The only thing I got from her was her friends number. As a gentle boy there is no one else I could go to cos me dey form small small.
Anytime this girl they come from centre we dey always look at each other. I con mistake this one for green light. (Oma shey o).
On this fateful day, twas in d evening, wan go but dundun(fried Yam) from the togolese on almost every street. Na so I find one of my guy then doing big boy with one old china phone(those big silvered china phones reigning then) u grab . and me no take my palasa phone (one mtk device ) as we dey talk Na so I sight this girl for queue, she don dey my front since sha and me no know! Mhen God don answer my prayer I said. Was stalking her with my eyes and lost interest in what I wnated to buy. As this girl finish buying her stuff, Na so I tell my guy make him borrow me his phone. He was listening to music thru ear-phone. So he gave me the two attached. Na so I dey waka at this girl back, the song I dey listen to no get meaning to me all my mind was on the girl.
So I got close and said "hi" ehn ehn she replied.
Me: I *stammering* saw u and decided to follow u.
Girl: y are u following me
Me: just want to know ur name that's all.
Girl: y do u wanna know my name.
Me. *vexing* shey I wan use ur name for ritual Ni.*humorously*
Girl:u must be silly for that. I tot u wanted to use it for ritual Ni.*hissed and was walking away.
Me:* follow her and called her name*
Girl: how do u know my name.
Me: thru research. * as I was about gesticulating Na so ear -phone remove* the shiit was so loud mhen (chinko phone u know Na) restored the ear phone but it was stopping, it continued playing out *wahala WO leleyi sha* wanted to remove the battery in frustration but e go fall my hand. So I couldn't understand what I was saying (attention divided) just saying gibberish and heart pounding seriously. And I know she couldn't understand what I was saying anymore. Started praying say make she waka leave . At last prayer was ansad. She hissed and left. As I was about turning back my guy don dey for ma back.
Guy: how was it
Me:*hissed* no mind am Jare. She don start to dey fall small small. Take ur phone I said and I left without even buying anything again. D rest Na story u know.


Share urs. Thnx for reading

i dey come

Who else dont understand this crap

Leetunechi: Who else dont understand this crap

Me!

it was as if d Op was writing French !

You guys should be real. I perfectly understand what the OP wrote and it's funny too.
Probably you guys aren't Nigerians.

Mrval20: You guys should be real. I perfectly understand what the OP wrote and it's funny too.
Probably you guys aren't Nigerians.

not everyone can understand gibberish. the pidgin was so off point I had to scratch my eyes.

Lwkmd...
Theres this my guy "child hood friend" back then wen we dey go fetch water for one place like that. he b get one new girl wey com d house then but he b lik say d girl com spend holiday so na she come dey sell d water give us.nahim my friend hijack d opportunity wan yarn d girl. but as he start,him "john thomas" don stand attention. o boy as d guy start na so d girl eye look am frm head to toe b4 i know d girl come dey stare @ d area of d guy J.T and d guy zip don pull.chei see fuckup.. na so d girl start laugh......as me sef see d guy J.T. o boy! I com dey sorry for d guy ooo......

Baddo101: Lwkmd...
Theres this my guy "child hood friend" back then wen we dey go fetch water for one place like that. he b get one new girl wey com d house then but he b lik say d girl com spend holiday so na she come dey sell d water give us.nahim my friend hijack d opportunity wan yarn d girl. but as he start,him "john thomas" don stand attention. o boy as d guy start na so d girl eye look am frm head to toe b4 i know d girl come dey stare @ d area of d guy J.T and d guy zip don pull.chei see fuckup.. na so d girl start laugh......as me sef see d guy J.T. o boy! I com dey sorry for d guy ooo......

lMao

Hmmm

I had just finished secondary school and one of my bros decided to gift me one babe (as I was always at home,idle), he actually shipped the girl from to my house and left us, I was looking like a sheep, I no sabi how I go chyke am, I come go play titanic dey watch (and gave her fanta), I was quite nervous and I started moving around (entering rooms and coming out as if I was busy), I wasted all the time till the girl left, the next day after I tell my bros, he slap me for head, infact, you go think say I take him kidney, he now described where the girl was living (as there was no phones yet then) I went to the girls house come even invite am na so she tell me say 'to do what? Drink fanta', she tell me say I be slacker say make I forget am. I come go meet my bros again tell am, I receive double of the first slap, in short, I go meet the girl again (with masculinity) tell am say she must to come, say I been get malaria the time she first come, she ended up being my first girl and we dated like 2 years before she went to canada, na so I turn man o, now I be grand master 1

timawoku: I had just finished secondary school and one of my bros decided to gift me one babe (as I was always at home,idle), he actually shipped the girl from to my house and left us, I was looking like a sheep, I no sabi how I go chyke am, I come go play titanic dey watch (and gave her fanta), I was quite nervous and I started moving around (entering rooms and coming out as if I was busy), I wasted all the time till the girl left, the next day after I tell my bros, he slap me for head, infact, you go think say I take him kidney, he now described where the girl was living (as there was no phones yet then) I went to the girls house come even invite am na so she tell me say 'to do what? Drink fanta', she tell me say I be slacker say make I forget am. I come go meet my bros again tell am, I receive double of the first slap, in short, I go meet the girl again (with masculinity) tell am say she must to come, say I been get malaria the time she first come, she ended up being my first girl and we dated like 2 years before she went to canada, na so I turn man o, now I be grand master 1

lwkmdfh

timawoku: I had just finished secondary school and one of my bros decided to gift me one babe (as I was always at home,idle), he actually shipped the girl from to my house and left us, I was looking like a sheep, I no sabi how I go chyke am, I come go play titanic dey watch (and gave her fanta), I was quite nervous and I started moving around (entering rooms and coming out as if I was busy), I wasted all the time till the girl left, the next day after I tell my bros, he slap me for head, infact, you go think say I take him kidney, he now described where the girl was living (as there was no phones yet then) I went to the girls house come even invite am na so she tell me say 'to do what? Drink fanta', she tell me say I be slacker say make I forget am. I come go meet my bros again tell am, I receive double of the first slap, in short, I go meet the girl again (with masculinity) tell am say she must to come, say I been get malaria the time she first come, she ended up being my first girl and we dated like 2 years before she went to canada, na so I turn man o, now I be grand master 1

Now this got me cracked up silly.. Hahahahaha.. I can so picture that entering room unnecessarily scenario.. Lol.. Something similar to that happened to me back in the day... Very nice man... I'm still laughing.. LMAO @ your brother the Slapper

InZA:


Now this got me cracked up silly.. Hahahahaha.. I can so picture that entering room unnecessarily scenario.. Lol.. Something similar to that happened to me back in the day... Very nice man... I'm still laughing.. LMAO @ your brother the Slapper

oya share urs

Oboy, my own worse o. Chai, my first chykin xperience no b here.

I jst dey misyarn dey tel d girl story of hw my mum died. D girl knew i ws confused so she blew out d lamp dat illuminating room.

Na dat 1 con do d magic because na den i get liver tel her evry thing i reharsed.
We ar no longa dating bt we ar gud frnds. We stil joke about dat incident

Long ago before ooh Mpa became a player, he's at a park with his friends, chatting, drinking beer and guffawing
Suddenly, he noticed a girl with her friend in one of dem garden seats silently reading a novel. Na so ooh Mpa leave talk, dey eye the babe so. Both eyes met and there were glances that showed interest.

His friend noticed and brought it to the group's attention whence there was a lot of talk on her. It's then decided that ooh Mpa should approach this babe since he already had a thing for her. Moreso, the chick stole more glances and at same time smiling.

With the alcohol intoxication and group cheers, a once shy ooh Mpa garnered courage, stood up and walked majestically to her. She raised her head when ooh Mpa approached her. On reaching there, he froze and looked impassive as if he were having a blunted affect. After 30 secs of silence, he gathered some words and spoke these words verbatim:

So you can read?

Leetunechi: Who else dont understand this crap

Me too. I didn't bother reading it all up else my brain starts bleeding.

OohMpa: Long ago before ooh Mpa became a player, he's at a park with his friends, chatting, drinking beer and guffawing
Suddenly, he noticed a girl with her friend in one of dem garden seats silently reading a novel. Na so ooh Mpa leave talk, dey eye the babe so. Both eyes met and there were glances that showed interest.

His friend noticed and brought it to the group's attention whence there was a lot of talk on her. It's then decided that ooh Mpa should approach this babe since he already had a thing for her. Moreso, the chick stole more glances and at same time smiling.

With the alcohol intoxication and group cheers, a once shy ooh Mpa garnered courage, stood up and walked majestically to her. She raised her head when ooh Mpa approached her. On reaching there, he froze and looked impassive as if he were having a blunted affect. After 30 mins of silence, he gathered some words and spoke these words verbatim:

So you can read?

wow Bro u be real comedian I swear. Laff sotey me pillow wet.

OohMpa: Long ago before ooh Mpa became a player, he's at a park with his friends, chatting, drinking beer and guffawing
Suddenly, he noticed a girl with her friend in one of dem garden seats silently reading a novel. Na so ooh Mpa leave talk, dey eye the babe so. Both eyes met and there were glances that showed interest.

His friend noticed and brought it to the group's attention whence there was a lot of talk on her. It's then decided that ooh Mpa should approach this babe since he already had a thing for her. Moreso, the chick stole more glances and at same time smiling.

With the alcohol intoxication and group cheers, a once shy ooh Mpa garnered courage, stood up and walked majestically to her. She raised her head when ooh Mpa approached her. On reaching there, he froze and looked impassive as if he were having a blunted affect. After 30 mins of silence, he gathered some words and spoke these words verbatim:

So you can read?

chai

junell:

Me too. I didn't bother reading it all up else my brain starts bleeding.

wicked

i enjoyed your story bro. i can relate mehn. Lol

junell:

Me too. I didn't bother reading it all up else my brain starts bleeding.

guess ur teacher dint teach u comprehension passage in school. And wait till u get admission cos its not too late