Guys might seemed unfazed by a breakup, but if you stare into their eyes, you'll see nothing but pain, longing and a desire to fill the void in their hearts with so many Big Macs. There's a lot of self-doubt, maybe (probably) some crying, a lot of going out with friends, some trash talking, saying some nice things about the person, more trash talking, drinking, binge-watching something, a few weird texts/phone calls to the ex and then finally catharsis. Maybe. Here's what guys really do after you dump them.

1. Strumming Along:

Teach ourselves a sad song on guitar. Our roommates might not have known how many chords were in "Wonderwall" before, but now they do. It's six. Six chords.

2. Dine In:

Create a ring of comfort food around our desk/couch/chair/table. Wherever we've decided to park our sad, unlovable bodies, it looks like we're preparing for some ancient ritual that requires a specific arrangement of Chinese food cartons and pizza boxes on the floor.

3. All Busy-ness:

Stay way too busy. "Hey, it's a great thing she broke up with me! Now I can finally clean my attic/build my own bookcase/start a business/move to Mexico! This is a cry for help someone please talk me out of these long-term plans!"

4. Lay Low:

Avoid bars. We can't go to a bar without drunkenly hitting on women and getting rejected. And we can't handle rejection right now.

5. Ex Marks the Spot:

Talk about our exes way too much. "You know who loved that movie? My ex! Oh, you know who was good at tying shoes? My ex. You know who also needed to eat food to survive? My ex." Everything becomes a reason to bring them up.

6. Play It Again:

Listen to one song over and over. It doesn't have to be a breakup song, but if it reminds us of our ex, we will have it on repeat constantly.

7. Hiding Out:

Avoid restaurants/movie theaters/parks we used to go to with our ex. Have you ever seen a grown man crying by himself in a movie theater? It's because he made the mistake of going to see the new Robocop in the same theater where he and his ex had their first date.

8. Text Troubles:

Spend hours hovering our thumb over "send" on a text to our ex. Eventually, we'll either drink enough whiskey to go through with it, or a good Samaritan will recognize the signs of a dumpee and throw our phone into the woods.

9. Buddy System:

Invite our guy friends over to sit in brooding silence with us. It's better than watching a Top Gear marathon by ourselves. We'll probably also try to offer them something from one of the discarded fast food boxes by our feet, because we're good hosts.

10. Shaving Boycott:

Grow a breakup beard. No one has time to shave when they're plumbing the depths of human emotion. The breakup beard is sad and unkempt, with enough food in it to feed a flock of very tiny birds, like swallows or something.

counter thread

Never felt any of that... In fact, it was good ridance for me!

stop shaving coz i just broke up with my girlfriend? op i become a big time player after a break up justto

Localamos: Never felt any of that... In fact, it was god ridance for me!

Most of those points above not for the average Nigerian...Awon elemi lion

lyk seriously
Nigerian guys dnt do dat. Mayb we get a little too busy n just move on. It ain't a do or die affair

adonbilivit: stop shaving coz i just broke up with my girlfriend? op i become a big time player after a break up justto

You probably never liked the babe...

u want make fp abi op

Sunkyphil: u want make fp abi op

you be wizard oooow

The above are for weaklings. Real dudes go straight to the bar, get themselves drunk and head straight to the next akuna joint where they offload some seeds, which means they're through with the ex, and as soon as they leave the joint, they suddenly realize they've been in a d0ggy-dog world all this while as they get to view and sample ukwu of all shapes and sizes without any pest pestering them.

helphelp:

Most of those points above not for the average Nigerian...Awon elemi lion

lol!

Number 6 is the only thing I do, and I think other nigerians do. If you're talking about boys living overseas then you're good.

A friend told me he couldn't stop playing only time by Enya when his relationship ended

TribalEAST: The above are for weaklings. Real dudes go straight to the bar, get themselves drunk and head straight to the next akuna joint where they offload some seeds, which means they're through with the ex, and as soon as they leave the joint, they suddenly realize they've been in a d0ggy-dog world all this while as they get to view and sample ukwu of all shapes and sizes without any pest pestering them.

Then the points should be 11" and not 10"

Or topic should be "1 thing real dudes do after a break up"

TribalEAST: The above are for weaklings. Real dudes go straight to the bar, get themselves drunk and head straight to the next akuna joint where they offload some seeds, which means they're through with the ex, and as soon as they leave the joint, they suddenly realize they've been in a d0ggy-dog world all this while as they get to view and sample ukwu of all shapes and sizes without any pest pestering them.

so in other words, Real dudes are dudes that visit akuna joint

Monstertrucks: Number 2 is the only thing I do, and I think other nigerians do. If you're talking about boys living overseas then you're good.

Most Naija boys no dey date again na....Once dem spend change see pant...Na on to the next one, break up happens naturally, the babe sef get guys wey dey queue already

Monstertrucks: so in other words, Real dudes are dudes that visit akuna joint

....na ghetto pikin leave am

helphelp:

....na ghetto pikin leave am

lol

It would be silly to do any of these as a guy. I dey mad?


Na for mouth

Monstertrucks: so in other words, Real dudes are dudes that visit akuna joint

helphelp:

....na ghetto pikin leave am

strippers joint is also an akuna joint...Some Females hostels too

I do all dos fins more especially no 6
I used to remember her with BEAUTIFUL IN WHITE by westlife
But I dnt drink nor smoke
Cus is not good for ma health

chimerase2: I do all dos fins more especially no 6
I used to remember her with BEAUTIFUL IN WHITE by westlife
But I dnt drink nor smoke
Cus is not good for ma health

Good you don't smoke and drink.

I have a friend who said he couldn't stop playing only time by Enya when his relationship ended

This thread lacks substance...

sauceEEP: This thread lacks substance...

K

This list don't explain a Naija bruvas.Most times we happy it's over when it's fresh. Then regret it happened when we start missing the trouble of endless calls and texts she gives.

Then again it gives room to all suspended crush with she still in mind till a deal is seal.

mtchew..... those points aint applicable here.......op,so you wake up to type all those crap..... sorry o

Let me occupy this space b4 it enters front page


MOD pls do the needful

Seems like I'm different

naturally: Let occupy this space b4 it enters front page

I drink till that mental part of the brain dat create pictures is dead!