Godmystrength: That is why i try as much as possible not to put my partner in a situation where he will be tested....

Indeed, this is nice coming from a woman.

I like it.

Godmystrength:

That is why i try as much as possible not to put my partner in a situation where he will be tested....

Exactly. You cannot beat a child and ask him/her not to cry.

RAQUEL01:

Another long story for the gods.....
Tis always so amusing reading all kinds of rubbish on nairaland. Make una continue to dey deceive unaselves. Imagine this one saying she will leave a marriage of 21 yrs becos of a one time slap.

The gods may be crazy but I sure as hell ain't!

Hit me...hit the door!

My teachers were the women who came before me AND advised me on a route they should have taken the very first time their hubbies put hands on them.

And you think I didn't listen?

I listened very well and observed very well.

I've lost two friends to domestic violence...victims of murder suicides. The husbands shot them to death and then themselves, leaving a total of 5 orphans behind.

So who's zooming who?

There's nothing like the voices of experience to guide you to the right path.

I speak for myself and no one else.

So glad my long story amused you.

So wonderful you think my stance is rubbish.

However, I do find it quite offensive that you think I'm deceiving myself.

You think I don't know my own mind?

Did you read the part where I stated that my hubby and I are in total agreement about certain boundaries that should NEVER EVER be crossed?

And...just for the record, I feel the same way about cheating. If my husband cheats on me ONCE, the marriage is over. Or should I forgive him and take a chance on catching a STD medicine can't cure?

To each...his or her own.

Divorce doesn't concern me or frighten me. In such circumstances...survival and the emotional health of me and my kids does.

Anyway...it is well.

Carry on!

...a gentle reminder...

https://images.search.yahoo.com/search/images;_ylt=A0SO8xerAxhUeYoAwARXNyoA;_ylu=X3oDMTB0ZnNhNDJjBHNlYwNzYwRjb2xvA2dxMQR2dGlkA1NNRTY1NV8x?_adv_prop=image&fr=yfp-t-250-s&sz=all&va=nigeria+domestic+abuse+victims

bukatyne:

For better for worse..

The worse is cheating and abuse from the husband's end only

Get on with the times

I'm beginning to wonder what worse meant in the clause. If a slap or two, sorry to use that phrase, is enough for a marriage to end then we should be scared. I believe there are other ways to tackle such issues rather than running. If you leave such somewhat stable marriage that has come a long way, save for the slap(s). What do u intend doing next? Stay unmarried? Or get married to another man much later after the divorce?
Assuming you get married again, saying the same for better for worse line. And then if your new husband sleeps with another woman once or has an affair or abused you emotionally but never slapped you or hit you what do you do next? Do you then run away again and then comeup with a new plan?

zboyd:

The gods may be crazy but I sure as hell ain't!

Hit me...hit the door!

My teachers were the women who came before me AND advised me on a route they should have taken the very first time their hubbies put hands on them.

And you think I didn't listen?

I listened very well and observed very well.

I've lost two friends to domestic violence...victims of murder suicides. The husbands shot them to death and then themselves, leaving a total of 5 orphans behind.

So who's zooming who?

There's nothing like the voices of experience to guide you to the right path.

I speak for myself and no one else.

So glad my long story amused you.

So wonderful you think my stance is rubbish.

However, I do find it quite offensive that you think I'm deceiving myself.

You think I don't know my own mind?

Did you read the part where I stated that my hubby and I are in total agreement about certain boundaries that should NEVER EVER be crossed?

And...just for the record, I feel the same way about cheating. If my husband cheats on me ONCE, the marriage is over. Or should I forgive him and take a chance on catching a STD medicine can't cure?

To each...his or her own.

Divorce doesn't concern me or frighten me. In such circumstances...survival and the emotional health of me and my kids does.

Anyway...it is well.

Carry on!

Let me ask you a question. Why did you open this thread? Its obvious you have all the answers you need, all the advice you need, and have made up your mind on what to do given the worse case scenario. Or are you trying to gather emotional support and approval for your decision? We all know what to do in dire circumstances but we didn't open threads for them all.

zboyd:

The gods may be crazy but I sure as hell ain't!

Hit me...hit the door!

My teachers were the women who came before me AND advised me on a route they should have taken the very first time their hubbies put hands on them.

And you think I didn't listen?

I listened very well and observed very well.

I've lost two friends to domestic violence...victims of murder suicides. The husbands shot them to death and then themselves, leaving a total of 5 orphans behind.

So who's zooming who?

There's nothing like the voices of experience to guide you to the right path.

I speak for myself and no one else.

So glad my long story amused you.

So wonderful you think my stance is rubbish.

However, I do find it quite offensive that you think I'm deceiving myself.

You think I don't know my own mind?

Did you read the part where I stated that my hubby and I are in total agreement about certain boundaries that should NEVER EVER be crossed?

And...just for the record, I feel the same way about cheating. If my husband cheats on me ONCE, the marriage is over. Or should I forgive him and take a chance on catching a STD medicine can't cure?

To each...his or her own.

Divorce doesn't concern me or frighten me. In such circumstances...survival and the emotional health of me and my kids does.

Anyway...it is well.

Carry on!

Another tales by moonlight. its obvious from your rantings here you're not married. you dont even know what marriage entails. So sorry for the gullible ones that believes this nonsense you're writing here. Pls extend my greetings to your imaginary husband. bye

DukeNija:

Let me ask you a question. Why did you open this thread? Its obvious you have all the answers you need, all the advice you need, and have made up your mind on what to do given the worse case scenario. Or are you trying to gather emotional support and approval for your decision? We all know what to do in dire circumstances but we didn't open threads for them all.

First, why does anyone open a thread? To gain knowledge. To pass on knowledge. To satisfy curiosity.

Second, some battered women and men need to see things in black and white to verify what they instinctively know, that lack of disrespect and violence aren't part of a good marriage, no matter what they grew up around.

Third, I'M not looking for answers or seeking advice but some members may pick up on something they can use in their own lives.

Fourth, I stated I can only speak for myself, no one else.

Fifth, if I needed any emotional support for any personal decision, I wouldn't turn to an online forum. Neither would I seek approval online from people I don't even know. I don't even seek approval offline. I think for myself. I'm not a member of the sheeple community.

Why are you even questioning me about this scourge of society?

Wouldn't it make more sense for YOU, or any other male poster to open a thread for men asking why some men feel violence is the answer to marital disagreements?

RAQUEL01:
Another tales by moonlight. its obvious from your rantings here you're not married. you dont even know what marriage entails. So sorry for the gullible ones that believes this nonsense you're writing here. Pls extend my greetings to your imaginary husband. bye

Women don't usually lie about being married.

But think whatever you like madam.

I don't have to prove anything to you or anyone else on an online forum.

Or maybe you would find it more believable if I was a single mother who dropped out of high school, had four kids by four different fathers, on welfare, getting food stamps, or living on Section 8 in the projects?

Whether you deem my posting tales by moonlight, ranting, nonsense, and so graciously extend greetings to my "imaginary husband", I still maintain that the day violence enters a relationship or marriage is the day a person should wake up, smell the coffee and not wait around for the coffee pot to boil over. They might not survive the burns.

And while you ruminate on that, think on the numbers of women who would rather sacrifice themselves on the Altar of Matrimony, all in the name of being and staying a Mrs., because they fear being pariahs in a judgmental society.

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