Take a moment to reflect on your own teenage years and all the confusion and angst that accompanied them. Do you remember how difficult it were to fit in, to be understood? Do you recall the intensity of your first love-and that first break-up? What about dealing with your strange, unpredictable body and that feeling of acute self-consciousness and probably pimples? None of these has changed. What is not the same, however, is the world that today's teens have to navigate. The teenage years have always been cruel and difficult, but today they are downright merciless. Young people are facing an onslaught out there, the world has changed dramatically and it is very hard for young people to reach adulthood unscathed. We are living in the fast lane of the information super highway and it shows no sign of slowing down. More teens have access to the world via technology: all they have to do is log on, plug in, download, press play, SMS or use bluetooth. But with unlimited access comes limitless problems.

MEDIA MADNESS: The negative impact the media is having on our children is frightening and undeniable. The media is so influential that it can make a child do something that they would never have thought of doing until they saw it on television or the net. So influential is the media that, in just a few years, it almost completely altered an entire country's concept of beauty. In Fiji, 'You look fat' would have been perceived as a compliment in the past, but following the introduction of western TV and culture, that perception changed dramatically.

The same can also be said of Nigerian teens who have totally embraced the 'Figure 6' concept from western influences.

DRUGS: Most teens are being fed the wrong messages about drugs. Drug dealers are often role models. Jay-Z , 50 Cent, Rick Ross...are seen as former drug dealers now made good. It would be very naive of any parent to think their child a 'saint'. The reality is that most teens are exposed to sex, drugs and alcohol and many of them are experimenting. Most teens who haven't had sex, yet, are often seen as the odd one out. Although experimentation is a quintessential part of being a teen, it can easily get out of hand.

Children who start drinking before 15 are four times more likely to become alcoholics, a recent survey showed.

WHY ARE TEENS DOING THIS? For some its peer pressure, or a 'fun' flirtation with the dark side, for others though, its a genetic predisposition. But another huge factor is family instability.

WHAT PARENTS NEED TO DO. As someone who once passed through this stage, here are a few suggestions for parents.

GET CONNECTED: Parents need to communicate with their kids. Communicate with them and make them feel connected. Eat together, play sports, chat, go on holidays, go to the movies together. These simple routines are immensely beneficial. Parents should also move with the times. Instead of banning their cell phones, start communicating with them vis SMS. Set up a Facebook account, join Whatsapp, BBM. They might even begin thinking of you as vaguely 'cool'.

READ BETWEEN THE LINES: Rather than placing too much emphasis on what your teen is doing, figure out what they are trying to say. Look beyond the actual behaviour and focus on the context in which it occurred.

SET BOUNDARIES: Trying to change a teen's behaviour with punitive measures will only make them resentful and rebellious. I was here and i know too well. Instead, setting of boundaries such as curfews, should be done in a democratic fashion. Although, for some teens, parents need to wield 'the big stick'.

But the biggest, and most important of all is that, EVERY TEENAGER IS DIFFERENT, SO NO PARENT SHOULD EVER GENERALISE ABOUT THEIR CHILD AND SHOULD NEVER ASSUME.

Finally, Neurologists have recently discovered that the teenage brain is actually still growing. Teens are therefore not as matured as originally thought and they are incapable of making well-informed, matured decisions. Parents need to support their teens in every way possible. Let them understand that impulses are hard to fight, but the end result could be disastrous. There is a consequence for every action.

Although it can be painful, exhausting and frustrating, teens are just children who need guidance.