Yesterday, we examined a commonly used cliché ( I WILL DO MY BEST) and how it affects ROMANCE in marriage. Today, we want to examine another cliché that has been woven into our daily language. It is often said that love is blind, this implies that people who are in love rarely notice the enormous flaws in their lovers, a predicament they claim marriage 'resolves'.

However, falling in love is influenced by various reasons, some of which are when the experience some people enjoy in a relationship reaches a particular emotional threshold or matches an expectation they have etc. At this point, the strengths of their lovers are accentuated by a situation psychologists assert is often triggered by hormones such as Oxytocin, also known as the bonding hormone.

After the wedding, when such couples begin their daily lives - earning a living, making tough decisions, raising children, managing in-laws and resolving financial challenges - these feelings may take a hit. This is when they must CHOOSE TO LOVE. At this point, couples begin to notice habits (snoring, forgetfulness, financial carelessness, disorganisation, low level hygiene practices etc) in their spouses which they find irritating and unpleasant. At this juncture, couples must choose to be 'BLIND' to some issues by carefully choosing their battles, otherwise they may find themselves demanding impossible levels of perfection from each other, thereby ruining their marital romance.

As we progress in our marriages, we must learn to address issues (not personalities) because "unconditional love" is not the same as "unconditional condone of unacceptable behaviour".

ASSIGNMENT
Have regular meetings to discuss each other's strengths while addressing issues before they escalate.

Chidi and Victor Akunna
Foundation for Family Affairs

Twitter: @FamilyAffairs05
Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/FamilyAffairs05

Interesting

Have fall in love twice and immediately I see my self getting back on mah feet

But when I grow in love..........

Love is like a poker game, the higher the stakes the better the reward. So, how much are you willing to stake?

True love is real, you just have to understand how to find and keep it. No matter the financial challenge, some people are getting rich the right way.