The only recognised wedding in the bible is TRADITIONAL..the wedding at CANAN was purely traditional and not the so called WHITE weddings( church/court).Court weddin is kinda business like,while church wedding has been turned to shows.Couples no longer pay attention to the spiritual aspect of church wedding,they are much interested in showing up#myweddingistalkofthetown

majekdom2:
only if you truly know the intent of who you are signing it with.

But wait o... Does anybody truly knw the true intent of whom u r getting married to? No matter how many years, one stays wit his or her partner, u won't knw their true intent, except by God's grace, d person with evil intent fucvks up.. We simple pray, watch and hope 2 marry a good partner, that will last wit one for many years 2 come.
Cos if u r looking 4 intent. U go search taya.

Amelian:




Apart military men, whoelse??


And mr majek, I hope u read wat sweetlemon said, abt a first wife bn dumped becos , no legal document 2 support , she's legally married 2 her husband.. She's left behind in nija, while her husband came back, did the needful with another sweet potatoe, then jand back together wit hin brand new wife... Anyways, women, thise who have ears.. Let them ear.
Let no man sweet talk you, into just traditional alone. Be wise.

what he did does not guarantee he cant run away tomorrow or make him responsible. all these talk is because we see all men as responsible. in a case where a man is irresponsible , I bet you would wish you never married him ..... you will gladly walk out..... material gains should not be a factor for our decisions in marriage.

Amelian:



Exactly! What are we saying? Women needs 2 be protected. So many men av woken up one day, madam. Am getting another wife, u better accept her or move out. If she's legal wife, and signed those documents, he can't just push her around like a piece of rag. He can marry a dozen women if he wants traditionaly, naim him prick, naim money. But don't treat d one @ home like trash bin.

The one at home you said ..... he could have several homes. if he refused sleeping home will it solve the problem . I laff in greek.

Amelian:



But wait o... Does anybody truly knw the true intent of whom u r getting married to? No matter how many years, one stays wit his or her partner, u won't knw their true intent, except by God's grace, d person with evil intent fucvks up.. We simple pray, watch and hope 2 marry a good partner, that will last wit one for many years 2 come.
Cos if u r looking 4 intent. U go search taya.

yes , you cannot tell one's intent totally but you can tell one's attitude and behaviour ,this is where wisdom comes to play. tho change is the only permanent thing.

Well, as for me, am doing all..,,court, religious and tradition, do i even have a choice?

Rather unfortunate that love is no basis for unions.

but men and women are guilty here.

Is Good to know that Nigerian Men are finding their Feet, We use to have to many stupid men....

Marriage the fastest means out of poverty and into inheritance for some Nigerian women since 1660 BC

Nothing about love but property

Only property

2sExy1:
ma'am, it is relative. Neither will church or court determine a solid marriage.

It does not matter how/where the marriage is conducted; what matter most is the
love that will keep them.

White wedding/court marriage isn't our custom, but traditional marriage is. We have sold
our rights to the whites, which is what has almost given them the temerity to impose gay/lesbanism
on us.

How about you turn the table around and ask them to wed in your own custom,huh?

In case you never knew, 2 Italians has broken the record when they wedded in the igbo tradition
a few months back. so, you see?


Edit
100 likes and counting. Dies... Wake... Dies... Wake up... Dies...

And first to comment? Vex... Tears shirt, remove trouser... Remove boxers... Begin catwalk '

Your last paragraph got me rolling

Sweetlemon:
They assume ownership of a bride once the bride price has been paid. If the girl is lucky enough they will do traditional wedding but the white or even court wedding will be till further notice. In fact, unless a girl's family are strong Christians who will insist on the complete wedding rites before allowing their daughter move in permanently with man, the man will not think seriously about a formal wedding.

The thing is that most girls are too willing to allow this happen. Unless they pester the man for a court or white wedding, they will wait a long long time, after dropping one or two kids before having this. But their wives don't seem to be very serious about this. I mean, this trend is becoming too rampant nowadays. A good case study is that of P Square duo. (I love P Square and their brides not saying this to hate o) All the other celebs did both trad and white almost immediately after. Yet the P Square family even their brother Jude, are not about taking their brides down the aisle. I know a few girls personally who are doing this.

Ladies please let's be very careful with this issue. A church or at least a court wedding is more solid. With a traditional or just introduction, the man can wake up one morning and throw you out of the house, bring in another woman and there is little or nothing you can do. But when documents have been signed, you get the opportunity to fight for rights to property, fair treatment, etc if you can get a good lawyer. Also, with a certificate, your marriage is recognized anywhere in the world. For instance, without a marriage certificate, your "hubby" living abroad cannot invite you over abroad as it's done in most countries. You will have to go through another route.

Please if you are in this kind of arrangement, use all wisdom available to you to get yourself an official document. The longer you procrastinate, the more difficult it will be for the man to finally tie the knot while you live in his house.

I think I need to make some things clear here. It may seem long but it's very helpful, ignorance of the law is not an excuse. There are two types of marriage recognised under the Nigerian law. Statutory Marriage(popularly called Court Marriage) and Customary Marriage( Islamic marriage is sometimes categorised as customary marriage). Customary marriage is a marriage according to the native law and custom; for it to be valid, it requires the payment of bride price and the handing over of the bride to the groom's family among other things. It is potentially polygamous and that's why the man can marry more than one wife but it is valid and recognised under the Nigerian law. Thus, anybody validly married under customary law(traditional wedding), cannot contract a valid statutory marriage(court marriage) but the man can marry another woman. On the other hand, Statutory marriage is a marriage according to the Marriage Act. It is the union for life of one man and one woman to the exclusion of all others during the subsistence of the marriage. Marrying another wife when married to a person under the statute attracts a punishment of 5years imprisonment. A statutory marriage can be conducted in a Registry, a Licensed place of worship( a church authorised by government for court wedding) or a place stated in a special licence. It is very important to note that mere church blessing does not constitute a Valid statutory marriage(court marriage) nor does it add anything to an existing civil marriage. Therefore, all the preliminaries to the statutory marriage must be done such as giving notice of marriage(publication of banns), obtaining registrar's certificate or special license etc. In other words, the fact that a couple just went to church and the pastor prayed for them does not mean the man cannot marry another wife(i.e ordinary going to church is not tantamount to statutory marriage). The woman must ensure that all the necessary formalities are carried out. However, it is a reality that statutory marriage does not guarantee a monogamous matrimonial life but don't you think it's better to be on the safer side? I would stop here for now but my advice is that it's better to consult a legal expert and conduct a statutory marriage to be on the safer side. I'm will entertain questions.

cococandy:
I know some guys will oppose it. It's normal. No one will fight a sysytem that favors them or gives them upper hand.

It's the fish brained little girls I'm sorry for.
When the man brings in a new wife as the traditional institution allows him or when he dies and the in-laws begin to possess his possessions they'll run to NL and start disturbing us with stories that touch.

Now sound advice is being given too them dem dey mumu themselves.

y e b say, its only the man that Must DIE first?. oh, so the whole documents things is just a preparation for legal battle when the man dies abi? for ur own info, we (men) no go die first again u hear?

100Cents:

You open mouth say me go pursue widow claim her husband property?

YOU SAID IT.

So, you were still able to quote that post within 30 seconds of posting and deleting.....I now understand ur predicament!

tatiana009:


No the other women don't have the same rights as the legally married woman in the eyes of the law. The children will be taken care of but court registry does not recognize 2nd wife and so on so it protects the legally married wife. Yes the best thing is to marry a man that won't marry more than one wife or betray you however many women have been shocked by husbands they trusted and thought they knew well until strange women appear after he dies do it is always best to protect yourself

My dear, there's human law & there's biological/natural law.

As a guy of science I know that nature always trump man-made laws.

Why do you think the lowly, average n high & mighty tend to be unfaithful?

From Baba Onikeke vulcaniser to bankers to J F kennedy & Bill Clinton (a lawyer)?

Because behind all the facade of civilisation, education & sophistication, they ultimately succumb to human/biological urges.

When you consider that about 75% (some would say even more) of people are either physically or emotionally unfaithful, then it's not an aberration but the norm.
Maybe it was normal in the garden of Eden, but monogamy didn't help there either. A second wife might have dissuaded Adam from listening to eve.
Now check this out: divorce rate now stands at 50%, 50% of firstborn kids don't belong to the guy they call dad, 30% of all kids would fail paternity test!

So momogamy has failed woefully. For most people anyway.

FYI: I come from a monogamous home, my grand dad too was monogamous.

jayjagz:
I think I need to make some things clear here. It may seem long but it's very helpful, ignorance of the law is not an excuse. There are two types of marriage recognised under the Nigerian law. Statutory Marriage(popularly called Court Marriage) and Customary Marriage( Islamic marriage is sometimes categorised as customary marriage). Customary marriage is a marriage according to the native law and custom; for it to be valid, it requires the payment of bride price and the handing over of the bride to the groom's family among other things. It is potentially polygamous and that's why the man can marry more than one wife but it is valid and recognised. Thus, anybody validly married under customary law(traditional wedding), cannot contract a valid statutory marriage(court marriage) but the man can marry another woman. On the other hand, Statutory marriage is a marriage according to the Marriage Act. It is the union for life of one man and one woman to the exclusion of all others during the subsistence of the marriage. Marrying another wife when married to a person under the statute attracts a punishment of 5years imprisonment. A statutory marriage can be conducted in A registry, a Licensed place of worship( a church authorised by government for court wedding) or a place stated in a special licence). It is very important to note that mere church blessing does not constitute a Valid statutory marriage(court marriage) not does it add anything to an existing civil marriage. Therefore, all the preliminaries to the statutory marriage must be done such as giving notice of marriage(publication of banns), obtaining registrar's certificate or special license etc. In other words, the fact that a couple just went to church and the pastor prayed for them does not mean the man cannot marry another wife. The woman must ensure that all the steps the formalities are carried out. I would stop here for now but my advice is that it's better to consult a legal expert and conduct a statutory marriage to be on the safer side. I'm will entertain questions.

My question is how many cheating men have gone to jail .... abi none of these men wey dey cheat dey do court marriage. it is only nigerian marriages that preach longsuffering and pain endurance. the western tradition we are bringing in dont preach it...... apparently the OP's aim was to identify with inheritances .... which should not be.

I think the major reason guys "shy" away from all these marriage ceremonies is simply because of the financial burden being incurred during such weddings most times are disastrous. If there was a way around it trust me, most men will take it. And since we africans can't do a ceremony according to budget and our income, we rather wait till we've saved enuf.

majekdom2:
My question is how many cheating men have gone to jail .... abi none of these men wey dey cheat dey do court marriage. it is only nigerian marriages that preach longsuffering and pain endurance. the western tradition we are bringing in dont preach it...... apparently the OP's aim was to identify with inheritances .... which should not be.

.

Mbok, helepu me kwesion dem o.

Last time I checked, adultery is not a crime under Nigerian secular law. Morally uncool, yeah.

Ground for filing for divorce, yeah.

Who needs a court wedding? Olorun omaje. If she no gree, make she gerrout. Her type (and better) plenty for outside. Traditional wedding and (perhaps) a 'white' celebration, and that's it. The day you begin to grow wings and spread your K legs outside, I'll send you back to your parents as amicably as possible, and assume sole financial responsibility for my DNA-certified children. No time for litigational rubbish.

majekdom2:
My question is how many cheating men have gone to jail .... abi none of these men wey dey cheat dey do court marriage. it is only nigerian marriages that preach longsuffering and pain endurance. the western tradition we are bringing in dont preach it...... apparently the OP's aim was to identify with inheritances .... which should not be.

that is a very good question. I raised the question as well in one of my papers in that the law seems to be a decoration. But the question is this: "how many woman have claimed their right in court?" like you said, they believe in long suffering and pain endurance. The court is not a father Christmas and obviously, everyday is not christmas. Therefore, you can't be given what you've not asked for. Concerning inheritance, I believe "we" men are just being unreasonable because the issue of inheritance is also an effect of marriage; if you know you don't want a woman to inherit your property then don't marry her. It's as simple as that but it's visible even to the blind that most men just want to play on the woman's intelligence, use her and go searching for a fresh meat. I stand to be corrected, over 90% of marital problems are caused by men!!! We just use the issue of property or inheritance as a cover-up.

jasper7:
I think the major reason guys "shy" away from all these marriage ceremonies is simply because of the financial burden being incurred during such weddings most times are disastrous. If there was a way around it trust me, most men will take it. And since we africans can't do a ceremony according to budget and our income, we rather wait till we've saved enuf.

another question how many Nigerian women would like to get married the way it is done in china , where thousands of people get married on the same day , place and same manner. these marriages hardly fail .... isnt marriage overrated in Nigeria.

Amelian:



Exactly! What are we saying? Women needs 2 be protected. So many men av woken up one day, madam. Am getting another wife, u better accept her or move out. If she's legal wife, and signed those documents, he can't just push her around like a piece of rag. He can marry a dozen women if he wants traditionaly, naim him prick, naim money. But don't treat d one @ home like trash bin.

,

Uhum.

When madam organise with her boyfriend (who may even be oga's driver) to eliminate oga nko?

Which protection oga get?

Or you think some women are not evil enough to do so?

With court paper in hand, all the wealth (so called protection) is hers, shey?

Ok....the man must have been very bad to her for her to do such thing. Women always have excuses for everything you see.

majekdom2:
another question how many Nigerian women would like to get married the way it is done in china , where thousands of people get married on the same day , place and same manner. these marriages hardly fail .... isnt marriage overrated in Nigeria.

My point exactly, every girl wants a "talk of the town" wedding. Evey girl wants to be featured on bella naija.

Even the poor want to compete with the rich. So... let's wait till the money is there before we have it.

At the end of the day. It's the broke ones that protect "property". property wey them no get before. Maybe, one rickety half plot of land in a swampy area in bayelsa. Lol.

jayjagz:
that is a very good question. I raised the question as well in one of my papers in that the law seems to be a decoration. But the question is this: "how many woman have claimed their right in court?" like you said, they believe in long suffering and pain endurance. The court is not a father Christmas and obviously, everyday is not christmas. Therefore, you can't be given what you've not asked for. Concerning inheritance, I believe "we" men are just being unreasonable because the issue of inheritance is also an effect of marriage; if you know you don't want a woman to inherit your property then don't marry her. It's as simple as that but it's visible even to the blind that most men just want to play on the woman's intelligence, use her and go searching for a fresh meat. I stand to be corrected, over 90% of marital problems are caused by men!!! We just use the issue of property or inheritance as a cover-up.

they may not be able to go to court because they are solely dependent on the hubby , hence financing such cases could be hard .... like someone said , the hubby may provide a customary law that will leave the woman with nothing.
the inheritance stuff makes a man thinks twice. I have been on a thread where some women envisaged aiding their hubby's death because he cheats on them . the inheritances are for the kids not the wife's

Assuming the lady's husband die tommorrow. How will she claim her husband's property if she happen to find herself in a family of trouble makers. I think the marriage certificate is very important.

Amelian:
Some peeps here especially d women supporting the men saying that, what's in a court or church weDding , that requires a legal document 2 proclaim u as his legal wife anywhere in d world, Not only in yur hometown o or amongst family elders. So that as a bonafide wife to d man, u can be part of his life, especially when he has to relocate abroad or other benefits that comes wit it.
I av a cousin, who got married to a man of 3 wives, whom he married traditionally, but married my cousing legally, even do white wedding join. D 3 wives wan die .. But who caused it? So she married 2 d man, and she's d only legal wife, d man has in d court of law, if anything happens. He even made her incharge of all his documents and takes her abroad for trips as his only legal wife. Even though, he's got 3 wives he married. Traditionally, with kids.
Women, use yur brains.. Think, forget sentiments and face reality.

Hmmm! Your cousin is in serious potential trouble, documents or not.

yemivictor:


Hmmm! Your cousin is in serious potential trouble, documents or not.

lols .... young girl wants to chance iya agba .... she never see anything . the cousin matter dey dem iya's pipeline am very sure.

majekdom2:
they may not be able to go to court because they are solely dependent on the hubby , hence financing such cases could be hard .... like someone said , the hubby may provide a customary law that will leave the woman with nothing.
the inheritance stuff makes a man thinks twice. I have been on a thread where some women envisaged aiding their hubby's death because he cheats on them . the inheritances are for the kids not the wife's

That is why we have the Legal Aid Council, NGOs especially those for women like the Women's law Clinic at University of Ibadan etc and some lawyers are ready to do pro bono if the wife has a good case. Although I'm not encouraging aiding their husband's death but you too see what you typed "cheats". I repeat, "we" Men are the major cause of this problem and we only put up useless defence mechanisms.

nonsense, must we copy everything the white man is doing?

jayjagz:
That is why we have the Legal Aid Council, NGOs especially those for women like the Women's law Clinic at University of Ibadan etc and some lawyers are ready to do pro bono if the wife has a good case. Although I'm not encouraging aiding their husband's death but you too see what you typed "cheats". I repeat, "we" Men are the major cause of this problem and we only put up useless defence mechanisms.

am not in support of it ... but the bible encorages divorce in case of adultery.... what am trying to say is the document is very useful for its formalties but we all know not everyone will be interested in the court marriage. especially , the semi illiterates who may not know why this it is important.
we all have got diff views , you may see polygamous as wrong while some other fellow might see it as totaly right. do your research .... do the islamic marriages not last than majority of our christain and court marriages even when it is a case of one man and one woman ?

gogodaye:
@ charistim
Your words of admonition are misplaced...The fable from the OP is what they enjoy hearing & applying....They're so confused..don't know what they want!...can't build homes!....break up the homesteads of others...in their wealth grabbing enterprise....Traditional marriages just like their native names are to be relegated to the stone age..listening to them pouting their shallow views on issues, you're left wondering if they share any positive trait with the rest of humanity..........

A trillion likes for this post. I couldn't have said it better.