Graviton2:

...and pointing out his grammar defects makes you what exactly? Smarter than him?

I have been following this thread for quite some time now, and I must let you know in the most polite terms possible that your incivility is beyond comprehension. I've been noticing your rants on here (Yes, I used that word because no other word would do justice to the garbage you have been spewing on here).

I reserved this response because I figured the title of the thread "Mock the Atheist" sent you mixed signals about what the thread was actually about, but after someone repeatedly told you it was a gag thread and you persisted with your jackassry I must say that I began having trouble understanding whether you were just too stupid to comprehend what a "joke" meant or you were indeed just another attention seeking individual (once again, I mean this very politely).

I'm still uncertain about which of the above categories you fall into but nonetheless, I will spell out my obvious intention if you are still having trouble getting it so far - S.T.O.P. B.E.I.N.G. A.N. A.S.S. Quit derailing the thread, man! if you are really as enlightened as you claim to be then you should have observed that everyone is here for a laugh. If you are one of the many people on NL who find it necessary to validate their existence by making royal fools of themselves, then I beg you to be dignified!

I sincerely hope you take your time to read every word I have typed. Once again let me put it in a simpler context, post a joke or GTFO.

Suum cuique - To each his own.

Peace!

I read this like twice and i really had no clue what it was you meant to say here... if you were trying to portray civility and dignified response, i daresay you failed terribly. As it is well known, this is a public page and not your private website. Please feel free to open up a blog and put your responses there where i will be sure not to trespass. On the other hand, you can click the "report to moderator" link, it exists for a purpose.

logicboy01:



Thanks for derailing this thread with your scientific ignorance.

Scream and shout at evolution all you want, it will not make your imaginary God real

lets compare the evolution theorem with creationist thereom and see which of the two make better sense

davidylan:

I read this like twice and i really had no clue what it was you meant to say here... if you were trying to portray civility and dignified response, i daresay you failed terribly. As it is well known, this is a public page and not your private website. Please feel free to open up a blog and put your responses there where i will be sure not to trespass. On the other hand, you can click the "report to moderator" link, it exists for a purpose.

For some reason, I felt this was exactly what you would say.

Have you bothered to think that the reason you couldn't understand what I meant even after I S.P.E.L.T. it out was perhaps the same reason why you have exhibited a very high level of inadequacy in understanding what a Joke thread is. Think much?

Yes, you might assume I failed terribly in showing you what civility means. Why? I also assumed it was fair to be impolite to you since incivility was more or less your surname - you have been impolite in your approach, impolite in ignoring the purpose of the thread and impolite in forcing your views on people and insulting them when they refuse to accept it...and let's not forget, impolite in justifying the wrong you've been doing.

Does the word "Appropriate" mean anything to you? It probably doesn't from the look of things but I'll say it again since you had some sort of trouble the first time - It's a gag thread, man! If you are trying to win souls for God, stepping on people's feelings won't help you, you are just making yourself an unlikable character. In fact, it will further alienate them from God. Do it appropriately - create a thread or go to one that supports your purpose.

*Btw, I'm a Christian but I'm not ignorant.

timmy2409: Funny how you guys keep posting non-jokes about how this thread is for jokes

Anyway here's a really funny one:

With 93% of its citizens identifying as such, Nigeria is the second most religious country in the world.

Pardon me, just had to say something to that individual.

That was pretty funny.

Apatheist:

Lol. Very funny. I actually laughed!

Graviton2:

For some reason, I felt this was exactly what you would say.

Have you bothered to think that the reason you couldn't understand what I meant even after I S.P.E.L.T. it out was perhaps the same reason why you have exhibited a very high level of inadequacy in understanding what a Joke thread is. Think much?

Yes, you might assume I failed terribly in showing you what civility means. Why? I also assumed it was fair to be impolite to you since incivility was more or less your surname - you have been impolite in your approach, impolite in ignoring the purpose of the thread and impolite in forcing your views on people and insulting them when they refuse to accept it...and let's not forget, impolite in justifying the wrong you've been doing.

Does the word "Appropriate" mean anything to you? It probably doesn't from the look of things but I'll say it again since you had some sort of trouble the first time - It's a gag thread, man! If you are trying to win souls for God, stepping on people's feelings won't help you, you are just making yourself an unlikable character. In fact, it will further alienate them from God. Do it appropriately - create a thread or go to one that supports your purpose.

*Btw, I'm a Christian but I'm not ignorant.

I just love this guy!!

A Rabbi was walking and an arrogant atheist approached him and
declared "I am a atheist and free thinker". To which the Rabbi replied
"Do you think God Cares?"

A Christian lady who lived next door to an atheist

There was a Christian lady who lived next door to an atheist. Every day, when the lady prayed, the atheist guy could hear her. He thought to himself, "She sure is crazy, praying all the time like that. Doesn't she know there isn't a God?"

Many times while she was praying, he would go to her house and harass her, saying "Lady, why do you pray all the time? Don't you know there is no God?" But she kept on praying. One day, she ran out of groceries. As usual, she was praying to the Lord explaining her situation and thanking Him for what He was gonna do. As usual, the atheist heard her praying and thought to himself, "Humph! I'll fix her."

He went to the grocery store, bought a whole bunch of groceries, took them to her house, dropped them off on the front porch, rang the doorbell and then hid in the bushes to see what she would do. When she opened the door and saw the groceries, she began to praise the Lord with all her heart, jumping, singing and shouting everywhere! The atheist then jumped out of the bushes and told her, "You ol' crazy lady, God didn't buy you those groceries, I bought those groceries!" At hearing this, she broke out and started running down the street, shouting and praising the Lord.

When he finally caught her, he asked what her problem was. She said, "I knew the Lord would provide me with some groceries, but I didn't know he was gonna make the devil pay for them!"

An atheist was rowing at the lake, when suddenly the Loch Ness monster attacked and grabbed him from his boat. He panicked and shouted "God help me!", and suddenly, the monster and everything around him just stopped.

A voice from the heavens boomed "You say you don't believe in me, but now you are asking for my help?"

The atheist looked up and said: Well, ten seconds ago I didn't believe in the Loch Ness Monster either!

An Atheist professor would before every lecture give a lil talk about how God does not exist and all of that.
One faithful day, just as he made for the door after a usual lecture style, his last toe came against the door post. In pain he screamed "O my God!" and then came a reply somewhere from the back seat: "Which One?".

Xcapist: An atheist was rowing at the lake, when suddenly the Loch Ness monster attacked and grabbed him from his boat. He panicked and shouted "God help me!", and suddenly, the monster and everything around him just stopped.
A voice from the heavens boomed "You say you don't believe in me, but now you are asking for my help?"
The atheist looked up and said: Well, ten seconds ago I didn't believe in the Loch Ness Monster either!

The version I'm familiar with is;

An atheist was spending a quiet day fishing when suddenly his boat was attacked by the Loch Ness Monster. In one easy flip, the beast tossed him and his boat at least a hundred feet into the air. It then opened it's mouth waiting below to swallow them both.

As the man sailed head over heels and started to fall towards the open jaws of the ferocious beast he cried out, "Oh, my God! Help me!"

Suddenly, the scene froze in place and as the atheist hung in midair a booming voice came out of the clouds and said, "I thought you didn't believe in Me!"

"God, come on, give me a break!" the man pleaded, "Just seconds ago I didn't believe in the Loch Ness Monster either!"

"Well," said God, "now that you are a believer, you must understand that I won't work miracles to snatch you from certain death in the jaws of the monster, but I can change hearts. What would you have me do?"

The atheist thinks for a minute then says, "God, please have the Loch Ness Monster believe in You also.

"God replies, "So be it."

The scene starts in motion again with the atheist falling towards the ravenous jaws of the monster. The Loch Ness Monster folds his claws together and says, "Lord, bless this food You have so graciously provided . . "



Here's another from the underbelly of the internets;

Genie in the Lamp

An atheist buys an Ancient Roman Catholic lamp at an auction, takes it home, and begins to polish it.
Suddenly, a genie appears, and says, "I’ll grant you three wishes, Master."
The atheist says, "I wish I could believe in you."
The genie snaps his fingers, and suddenly the atheist believes in him.
The atheist says, "Wow. I wish all atheists would believe this."
The genie snaps his fingers again, and suddenly atheists all over the world begin to believe in genies.
"What about your third wish?" asks the genie.
"Well," says the atheist, "I wish for a billion dollars."
The genie snaps his fingers for a third time, but nothing happens.
"What’s wrong?" asks the atheist.
The genie shrugs and says, "Just because you believe in me, doesn’t necessarily mean that I really exist."


...though the fact he made them believe by snapping his fingers would mean he (likely) exists. Still funny though, for other reasons

Xcapist:

I just love this guy!!

I see you, bro. Much respect!

Your jokes are too funny!!

Nice one, wiegraf! Lol