mondisweets:
If a man is actually putting in effort and things just genuinely don't seem to be going well for him, i would still stand by him and support. Bu

Sophyrocks:

That is why before you get married, you must have discussed how finances will be handled and must have ascertained whether your partner is the Traditional type or the 21st century/modern type. This is why we court/date. for us to see how compatible we are. if you want equal partnership in your marriage, then it is asumed you have accepted that you and your wife are equal. Nobody is the Head here. you both contribute equally in all finances in the marriage. Therefore, nobody should brag about being the head.

For a woman to leave her parents, stay with you till death, cook, clean the home and take proper motherly care of your children show that she is already a Helpmate/partner in your life. Some of these are things you would do on your own
when you were single but a woman has come
into your life to HELP YOU. For you to use words
such as "subordinate" and 'Master" shows that
you are naturally insecure and threatened by
women who can hold their own. Why do i say so?
Because what comes out of a man's mouth, so
is he and you are already aware that many
women are now significant contributors to
financial responsibilities or even breadwinners of their home as evident in the Op. Therefore, you cannot generalise since you are not a soothsayer to know what goes on in every home, for you to conclude all women do not like to contribute to the marriage. The Bible Never called wives subordinates/slaves at the mercy of their 'Masters' even when their husbands were designated 'Heads'. It called them HELPMATES/COMPLEMENTS. So even when a woman is a full time housewife, she is already a Helpmate to you by making the home and children her business. It is very important you corrrect such thinking

before getting married before you turn yourself to
Hitler in your marriage. Such thinking leads to
domestic abuse. Correct yourself.

Emmalot121: Equality is not in the natural order of things, and the crusade to make everyone equal in every respect (except before the law) is certain to have disastrous consequences.—Murray Rothbard

sandijey:


Equality was never the plan of God. Everything we need to know and how the world should be governed has been written in the bible. We as human beings abused the spirit of free will he has given to us hence any little opportunity we have to downgrade or trample and oppress people, we use it.

God gave men authority over women. I seriously believe that if men did not misuse the fact that they are the head of the home against their wives it will not give birth to this current trend of feminist. Which female doesn't love to be pampered. Sit down at home like a princess. Take care of the home and the children and watch them grow. But men began to make slaves out of their wives. Maltreating them hence the rise of feminism and equal rights thereby altering the original plan of God.

Secondly economic factors. This is another reason why women started working. Just so the both of them can put heads together. Now u see women hustling wiv men for the little jobs that are available. When a man has money, he will feed the whole village. his friends, family, outsiders and we'll wishers will benefit from it but When a woman has money she will buy a human hair and make up. Most guys that are graduates. Look around u. You will see that almost all your female classmate have jobs. And maybe just 5 guys in your class don see job. In fact men haven't seen anything yet and we women don't no what we are up against.

One thing I no and I don't care what ever anybody says. I do not pray or wish it for any man not to be able to provide for his family. I do not also pray that your wife earns more than u. It is a difficult position for a man. The day your wife begins to feed u, the whole world will no. Women love to be pampered. That is how we are wired. If the reverse is what is happening, she can never be happy. some men shouting I want an independent woman always make me laugh. The moment a woman put money down on the table, she has become equal to u and there is no head. She has a right to take decisions as much as u do. You as a man also have to take care of kids and do house hold chores when she is not around. Being the head of the family is a big responsibility. The society has made it so that anybody that has money is who people respect. It is so in the family as well. Responsibility and money are one and the same. Character is not responsibility.

I am very factual. The moment a man and a woman start putting 50-50 in the upkeep of the home then u people have become equal and should share all responsibility equally. If she puts 70 and u put 30. You as a man has reversed the role so u should act as such so that the person who brings the larger share will not be overwhelmed wiv other household problems. If the woman brings everything. My dear. You as d man has d sole responsibility to take care of the home. The major conflict is the men not wanting the role reversal. How can u have authority wiv no money?. They don't want equality and they don't want to assist in the things they regard as a feminine thing forgetting that a woman working 8 to 7 pm is a masculine thing

But Nigerian men today complain of women not being submissive. Arrogant and rude. You say we do not behave like our mothers. How many of our mothers worked?. Many of our mothers stayed wiv their husband's because of their kids and the fact that they had no money of their own despite the maltreatment they got. They had to be submissive at all costs. But You guys want to treat women of this generations who work and earn money the way your father's treated your mothers who did not work. Lmao. Which marriage can stand like that!.

I don't no the future. I just pray I am never put in that position. But if a woman has money and can stand on her own, why would she stay wiv a man she feeds and yet maltreats her.

Ecclesiastes. 7:28. One man among a thousand I have found but a woman among a thousand, I haven't found. "wisdom".....

Kanwulia:



I dey hia o!
Back from work o Jare.
2 more nights to go!
BA wo ni?
Se da da ni?


Ermmmmm? My husband dey work o!
Every woman has the right to choose!
If I you are slaving to feed a man or woman. . . .
It is called CHOICE!

Mondisweets: she just said thats not what she means and you go on and ask the same question again? are u a learner?

carefreewannabe:

The Bible is open to interpretation and not every human being is a Christian.



The misuse of power is ONE of MANY reasons why some women decided that it is better not to depend on their husbands.
Regarding your questions, I am a woman who doesn't like "to sit at home like princess". I have no problem to stay at home for a limited period of time when my children are small BUT there is more to my life and I know many women who think like me. They want to go to school, university, become doctors and save lives, become lawyers and win important lawsuits, be teachers and make a difference every day, become scientists and help the world to become better ....

They know that they have talents and potential that go beyond household chores and they love to make use of them.



The opinion you have of women is striking. My grandmother was one of the few women of her generation to have a serious career. My grandma and grandpa came both from rather poor families. To escape poverty, my grandmother started working too unlike other women who would have a new child every year. She didn't buy hair and make up. She helped the family to prosper. By the time her grandchildren were born, she and grandpa were so comfortable that she was able to stay at home and help her daughters (-in-law) raise their children thus giving them the opportunity to explore their talents outside the home too. All women in my family have been working ever since instead of sitting at home and pretending to be a princess in a castle. I am one of them and I love my job.



If a woman's respect depends on the man's pocket size, then she has the wrong attitude and the wrong values.
My partner is not my head because I have my own, he is my partner. And I have so much respect for him (else we would not be together) that I take his advice extremely seriously. In case he struggles with money at some point in his life, I am there to support him and not to disrespect him.



How a couple divides their family responsibilities is for them to decide.



The truth is that women back in the day worked a lot. Most people were farmers and women did not sit at home like a princess but helped with the harvest, helped feed the animals and helped do whatever needed to be done. And they did it although they had 5,6,7,8 children.




Nobody said so.



Does this actually make sense to you?

Sophyrocks:

Of course yes. How can you be the Head when you are not playing the role? Why are you the Head? His reasons for contributing less than his wife matters a lot. Are the reasons based on circumstances beyond his control(that is understandable) or are they just flimsy reasons or perhaps no reasons at all? I can't repeat myself mehn. The Head of the home is one who provides asides other responsibilities. When you are to provide, you are to take a larger share of/handle major financial responsibilities. If you are not doing that, then you are not the Head. If you are in an equal partnership with your wife in responsibilities, you are not the Head oo. You are both equal. if your wife is playing the role of a Head, then she is the Head. Kpomkwem.

sandijey:


Whatever rocks your boat is your business. I have said my piece. I do not expect anybody to accept my opinion. I gave my 2 cents about what I have seen. And my interpretation of things. If that bible verses does not make sense to u. It makes sense to others. Kapish......

Sophyrocks:

That is why before you get married, you must have discussed how finances will be handled and must have ascertained whether your partner is the Traditional type or the 21st century/modern type. This is why we court/date. for us to see how compatible we are. if you want equal partnership in your marriage, then it is asumed you have accepted that you and your wife are equal. Nobody is the Head here. you both contribute equally in all finances in the marriage. Therefore, nobody should brag about being the head.

For a woman to leave her parents, stay with you till death, cook, clean the home and take proper motherly care of your children show that she is already a Helpmate/partner in your life. Some of these are things you would do on your own when you were single but a woman has come into your life to HELP YOU. For you to use words such as "subordinate" and 'Master" shows that you are naturally insecure and threatened by women who can hold their own. Why do i say so? Because what comes out of a man's mouth, so is he and you are already aware that many women are now significant contributors to financial responsibilities or even breadwinners of their home as evident in the Op. Therefore, you cannot generalise since you are not a soothsayer to know what goes on in every home, for you to conclude all women do not like to contribute to the marriage. The Bible Never called wives subordinates/slaves at the mercy of their 'Masters' even when their husbands were designated 'Heads'. It called them HELPMATES/COMPLEMENTS. So even when a woman is a full time housewife, she is already a Helpmate to you by making the home and children her business. It is very important you corrrect such thinking before getting married before you turn yourself to Hitler in your marriage. Such thinking leads to domestic abuse. Correct yourself.

carefreewannabe:

Just next time speak for yourself and not all or most women and quote properly and not out of context. Thank you.


Are u checking my opinion or my quotes . You tryna take a jab at me. Madam grow up and stop pushing your believes on everybody or talking about how important u think you are. You just quoted me and actually talked out of point. I just don't have that time to start dissecting all what you typed. Everybody is entitled to his or her own opinion. It doesn't have to be shoved into our asses. If it's contrary to your believes give reasons and don't make #tupid remarks because it doesn't tally wiv your own ideas. In your last statement. U talked about your family and yourself. Obviously it's what u are used to seeing in your world. Everybody gives suggestion and opinions based on their experiences in life. Doesn't make it right. In all your post, u never seem to respect peoples opinions. Whatever I put out there is not meant to be right but if u are gonna counter it and then sound sarcastic and rude. I will dish back to u the way u gave me. If u have nothing to say again I suggest u don't quote me again cus we can actually go on and on.

sandijey: Are u checking my opinion or my quotes . You tryna take a jab at me. Madam grow up and stop pushing your believes on everybody or talking about how important u think you are. You just quoted me and actually talked out of point. I just don't have that time to start dissecting all what you typed. Everybody is entitled to his or her own opinion. It doesn't have to be shoved into our asses. If it's contrary to your believes give reasons and don't make #tupid remarks because it doesn't tally wiv your own ideas. In your last statement. U talked about your family and yourself. Obviously it's what u are used to seeing in your world. Everybody gives suggestion and opinions based on their experiences in life. Doesn't make it right. In all your post, u never seem to respect peoples opinions. Whatever I put out there is not meant to be right but if u are gonna counter it and then sound sarcastic and rude. I will dish back to u the way u gave me. If u have nothing to say again I suggest u don't quote me again cus we can actually go on and on.

carefreewannabe:

I gave many reasons when I first quoted you but you say you are too busy to answer them. Yet, you are still here complaining that I don't agree with you when you imply that all women want to sit at home and want to be pampered like a princess and that women who make money spend it all on hair and make up.

For your information, I often agree with people on this forum. I don't have to agree with everybody, though. If you have a problem with people disagreeing with you, don't share your views on a public forum. It is that simple.

sandijey:

If I replied u based on your first reply. I would have typed a whole page. Thank God u no u don't have to agree wiv anybody cus just like u I do not have to agree wiv your assertions. When people disagree wiv me I don't make silly remarks or sound sarcastic just to pass my point cus I am old enough to know that people have different opinions. If u do not no how to disagree wiv people politely then u should not also be on internet.

carefreewannabe:

The Bible is open to interpretation and not every human being is a Christian.



The misuse of power is ONE of MANY reasons why some women decided that it is better not to depend on their husbands.
Regarding your questions, I am a woman who doesn't like "to sit at home like princess". I have no problem to stay at home for a limited period of time when my children are small BUT there is more to my life and I know many women who think like me. They want to go to school, university, become doctors and save lives, become lawyers and win important lawsuits, be teachers and make a difference every day, become scientists and help the world to become better ....

They know that they have talents and potential that go beyond household chores and they love to make use of them.



The opinion you have of women is striking. My grandmother was one of the few women of her generation to have a serious career. My grandma and grandpa came both from rather poor families. To escape poverty, my grandmother started working too unlike other women who would have a new child every year. She didn't buy hair and make up. She helped the family to prosper. By the time her grandchildren were born, she and grandpa were so comfortable that she was able to stay at home and help her daughters (-in-law) raise their children thus giving them the opportunity to explore their talents outside the home too. All women in my family have been working ever since instead of sitting at home and pretending to be a princess in a castle. I am one of them and I love my job.



If a woman's respect depends on the man's pocket size, then she has the wrong attitude and the wrong values.
My partner is not my head because I have my own, he is my partner. And I have so much respect for him (else we would not be together) that I take his advice extremely seriously. In case he struggles with money at some point in his life, I am there to support him and not to disrespect him.



How a couple divides their family responsibilities is for them to decide.



The truth is that women back in the day worked a lot. Most people were farmers and women did not sit at home like a princess but helped with the harvest, helped feed the animals and helped do whatever needed to be done. And they did it although they had 5,6,7,8 children.




Nobody said so.



Does this actually make sense to you?

carefreewannabe:

I gave many reasons when I first quoted you but you say you are too busy to answer them. Yet, you are still here complaining that I don't agree with you when you imply that all women want to sit at home and want to be pampered like a princess and that women who make money spend it all on hair and make up.

For your information, I often agree with people on this forum. I don't have to agree with everybody, though. If you have a problem with people disagreeing with you, don't share your views on a public forum. It is that simple.

crackhaus:
Lol... You are actually the one getting wrong interpretations from her post.
I read her submissions so far, and she has a point. However, I don't think the way you interpreted that bit @emboldened is how she really meant it...I might be wrong though.

By my deduction, I believe what she meant is that at the end of the day, a woman still wants to be pampered and taken care of regardless of how successful she is or how much money in millions & billions she earns...and if you're being honest with yourself, you know this is true.

carefreewannabe:

So? At least we would have had a solid debate, in which MAYBE we both could have learned a thing or two.

My (unintentional) sarcasm is nothing compared to your post, which is an insult to the female folk. I can respect your opinion but I won't accept your generalizations. They concern me, I am also a woman.

2CatWoman: As an african I just find it funny how we justify our values by quoting from a book that was first given to us 200 years ago.

carefreewannabe:

Are you her lawyer?

crackhaus:

By my deduction, I believe what she meant is that at the end of the day, a woman still wants to be pampered and taken care of regardless of how successful she is or how much money in millions & billions she earns...and if you're being honest with yourself, you know this is true.

cococandy: True. But Even a man will want to be pampered sometimes too.
If you say a woman will like to be pampered by her man in terms of material stuff,well yes of course.

By the quoted it would seem like even if a woman makes so much money,she wouldn't want to spend on the family but would rather everyone in the depend on the man.

Wanting to be pampered once in a while doesn't contradict being financially responsible too.

That's why even a man who makes millions will always appreciate when hsi wife does nice stuff for him with her own money.

crackhaus:
Everything with you on NL has to always be about trying to insist men and women think, do, or feel the same things...hence, should act the same.

News flash: I keep telling you...men are women ARE NOT the same. We DO NOT think, act, reason, judge, or make decisions the same way.
Never have, never will!

Compared to women, men don't bother too much over pampering, neither do we make a big deal out of it...if you're being honest with yourself, you know this is true.

Of course a man would appreciate it when he gets pampered by his wife, appreciation is gratitude...the point is a man will not use that to gauge his wife's love, care, and devotion to him. If a woman doesn't buy her man a gift in let's say 1year except only on his birthday, the man doesn't read too much meaning into it.

But a woman will almost always measure her husband's devotion, attention, and love for her by how much he pampers or gives her treats...you know this is true.
Some women have even been known to expect gifts front their husband on their wedding anniversary...imagine that, does the man not need a gift too since two people married that day?
And still when he doesn't get a gift, which is most likely...he doesn't make a fuss over it.

You get it now?

cococandy: He failed to get the point

Which is that even if someone wants to be pampered with gifts and all what not not,it doesn't mean they don't want to be financially responsible when they need to be.
The way the comments were going. Seemed like because women enjoy being pampered,thus we all like to keep our money to ourselves so the man does all the spending.
Maybe you didn't get the reason for the comparison.


You agree that a man will appreciate that if it is done to him(just like I said)
So what else are you talking about?

Does him liking such treatment mean that he wants the woman to do everything by herself? No

Hence it is wrong to assume every woman because she likes pampering won't mind being dependent.


For the rest of your post,I think you meet more generous babes.
What does one call a lady who expects a gfit on their anniversary but doesn't see it fit to give one too?

crackhaus:
Ok!

I believe I've made my point already, before you start going personal.

cococandy: You're not serious.
Personal how?

If I dey vex for you,I go come your house come whip you with koboko.
Not on nairaland

crackhaus:


As long as you bring one bottle each of JD and Henny, and be prepared to meet anyone that will fight you for me while I watch & sip on the drinks.

cococandy: If I'm coming,you'll be smart enough to clear the coast before I arrive.

Because if the babe vex commot,na your loss.
When I whip you finish come carry my handbag waka.....

you'll have to go and woo her all over again

crackhaus:
My loss?
Man shall not live by woman alone oo...