Chillisauce:

They locked up my jobless neighbours brother once when he was going to look for a job. Police just arrived at the area, packaged every male around the vicinity on suspected robbery case. For two days they were looking for the poor guy .
He was later released after paying 15k.

crackhaus: I usually step away to put some distance between myself and a woman whose mouth starts running.

The problem however with this method lies in the fact that one can only walk away so many times until they're in a situation where they can't.
What are we to do then?

Take the case of a kid:
You're watching a movie on TV, this kid keeps going to the TV set to tap his hand on the screen.
You have warned him severally never to do that...sometimes you raised your voice and frowned your face, it worked..the child stepped back.
Unfortunately, another day the child does the same thing...but this time around, as he taps the screen, he keeps looking back at you aware that you're only going to raise your voice and frown.
He already expects the usual reaction, and because of the frequency of it, he has gotten quite used to it...hence, raising your voice and frowning doesn't work anymore.
Now one day you have had enough, he repeats the same thing...but this time, instead of just frowning and raising your voice, you get up, walk towards him and place a light slap (sufficient enough to cause pain but not enough to cause injury) on his cheek...you tell him that you have warned him severally to desist and that the slap is meant to teach him obedience.
The boy is stunned!
He is both surprised and hurt, he cries and tries to get you to pet him...but you don't. Today you're willing to listen to his cries. If there's someone else in the house, the kid turns to them to get sympathy since you're not moved.

You have effectively associated tapping the TV screen to receiving a painful slap on the cheek...only a terribly stubborn child would repeat that stuff in your presence another day.

Sorry for the long post, I intended passing a point and I believe I have.
Some ladies are going to critic my post using the old line, "a full grown woman is not a child that should be slapped."
Well, throwing tantrums and insults around is more of a child's behaviour than it is an adults'.

Okay some may not critic it again cos I've said so, but they'll definitely think it..

AfricanApple: it doesn't matter if u said it(last sentence) I will still talk my mind.

how could you compare an adult u married to a child whose sense has not fully grown or matured
if I get u well, what u are saying is if d wife is stubborn, he should caution her in a painful way but not injurious way.

coogar:

and this is one of the reasons i think nigeria is the best country in the world. don't you find going to the work in the morning & returning in the evening sometimes boring & monotonous?

i think i prefer waking up & not be really sure i will be returning home more exciting. there's a thrill to that & nigeria gives you that everyday of the week.

crackhaus:
I think that maybe by negligent omission or selective reading, you probably missed this bit which is right before the 'last sentence' you angled from:
Well, throwing tantrums and insults around is more of a child's behaviour than it is an adults'.

Do you or do you not agree with this?

Chillisauce:

How u carry know?

mentorandfriend: Op, if I was there that day you laid your hand on that girl, I would have dealt with your idiotic head. Guys for whatever reason that exhibit violent acts to women must really be mad. At our estate sometime ago, I met a guy slapping her girlfriend front and back for not picking his calls the previous day. It was a lonely night. Nobody was in sight. The girl was helpless. I weighed up the guy and told him I'd like to have a word with him. I took him to a corner and taught him discipline. I told the girl to go home to her parents. Beating a lady (your girlfriend, wife or even sister) for any reason at all is the highest form of cowardice.

AfricanApple: nahhh, u got me wrong, I was only saying I will still criticize your write up despite u already said 'some may not critic it again cos I've said so' I just didn't want to repeat d statement


while I agree that throwing insults is Immatured, some do that when their anger has full to the brim and have lost total control. but then why beat in d name of caution. how will u even feel touching your wife, there are other matured ways u can handle her insults other than beating.

crackhaus: Is self-control a quality only men should possess?

cococandy:
No

crackhaus:
First off, I didn't mention anything like beating as a form of caution...read my first post again.

As for the emboldened, so it is understandable when someone is controlled by their anger, loses total control and throws insults...but a person who loses control and because of anger slaps another person for throwing insults is to be viewed as animalistic and immature?

Is the scale of measurement for immaturity in men different from the scale of measurement for immaturity in women?
Is self-control a quality only men should possess?

Shirley07:
You mean if a hefty man/colleague of yours berate and insult you, the next thing you would do is to lash him?
The truth is women beaters are cowards who act like mice when their fellow men are involved in the same scenario. If you want to flex your muscle, flex it with your fellow man.

jacabi: Whatsoever might be the reason, any man that beats his wife is a lunatic.

While we're preaching against physical abuse on women in whatever form or intensity, we should also admonish wives to refrain from antagonizing/pushing their husbands past his emotional threshold...there's only so much a person can take no matter the level of self-control they claim to possess.
It takes just the right amount of built up feelings, anxiety, anger, and the wrong scenario to get anyone to react in a way that even surprises themselves

cococandy: Yes I'm going to criticize it.

But seriously you can [size=15pt]divorce[/size] your wife for emotional abuse.

If she keeps saying hurtful things and doesn't seem to know when to stop.call her on days when both you are very much lovey dovey and TELL her how her words make you feel.

To me this can work better than hitting. Hitting may even dreg up worse words than the ones she provoked you with. Because that's the only way she knows how to fight back.
What are you going to do? Keep hitting until she stops? Like she will.

I won't blame a man who opts for temporary seperation from a wife who's always insulting and mean mouthed.it'll surely teach what she stands to lose if she keeps running her mouth.

JEITO: Age is not maturity, any man that hits his wife for any reason, is immature and not ripe for marriage.

A disgrace to Manhood I must say.

jacabi:
I don't mind. What I hate most, seing between couples is husband beating his wife. Another thing is, after going up and down in the kitchen to prepare what the man will eat, just because of little misunderstanding, the man refuses to eat. In fact if I were God I would hinder some men from getting married. I don't just like it when women are being maltreated.

5minsmadness:
You too like divorce, haba!

The truth (whether the white man likes it or not) is that some women are just plain stubborn and a well placed and memorable SLAP restores them to default settings faster than 5 long years of fruitless dialogue during which time you would have invested and lost so much physically, financially and emotionally.

cococandy: Well...

It's not really black and white.

Saying a man can't be pushed to react will be me lying to myself.

But there's a risk in saying it is understandable.it opens doors for all kinds of misunderstandings about the acceptability of violence.

So to get rid of it or at least to attempt to get rid of it,we must always be clear that we chose not to understand it.
Understanding can lead to acceptance.

That we don't want

AfricanApple: nahhh, u got me wrong, I was only saying I will still criticize your write up despite u already said 'some may not critic it again cos I've said so' I just didn't want to repeat d statement


while I agree that throwing insults is Immatured, some do that when their anger has full to the brim and have lost total control. but then why beat in d name of caution. how will u even feel touching your wife, there are other matured ways u can handle her insults other than beating.

5minsmadness:
Not understanding the reason for the violence in the first place is like pretending the problem does not exist. Look for what provokes the men and curb it and the violence will reduce. We will now know that those who remain are the serial batterers and psychopaths.

crackhaus:
First off, I didn't mention anything like beating as a form of caution...read my first post again.

As for the emboldened, so it is understandable when someone is controlled by their anger, loses total control and throws insults...but a person who loses control and because of anger slaps another person for throwing insults is to be viewed as animalistic and immature?

Is the scale of measurement for immaturity in men different from the scale of measurement for immaturity in women?
Is self-control a quality only men should possess?

cococandy:
Curb what?
The way women talk to their husbands?
But I've already told you it is a recognized offense for which you can be granted a seperation or divorce. It is very legal.

How else do you wish to curb it? Apart from teaching your kids right,there's not much anyone can do about how mannerlessly others speak.

One can't be sent to jail for mouthing off at another person duh! Unless it is a racist or homophobic slur for which they only get to pay a fine.

The best is to get away from that person if you can't bear it. Permanently too if they refuse to change

5minsmadness:
I posted the statement before reading your response. Sorry, o jare.

Age is not maturity, any man that hits his wife for any reason, is immature and not ripe for marriage.

A disgrace to Manhood I must say

Whatsoever might be the reason, any man that beats his wife is a lunatic

5minsmadness:
BullshIT.

JEITO: I take then that you are in support of wife battery

any man that hits his wife for any reason, is immature and not ripe for marriage.

5minsmadness:
You too like divorce, haba!

The truth (whether the white man likes it or not) is that some women are just plain stubborn and a well placed and memorable SLAP restores them to default settings faster than 5 long years of fruitless dialogue during which time you would have invested and lost so much physically, financially and emotionally.

5minsmadness:

Definitely not but making this statement:


Is overgeneralization, and prevents any further discussion on the matter.It is also grossly untrue.

5minsmadness:
Not understanding the reason for the violence in the first place is like pretending the problem does not exist. Look for what provokes the men and curb it and the violence will reduce. We will now know that those who remain are the serial batterers and psychopaths.

5minsmadness:
For example?