This is supposed to promote sesual promiscuity but can we all stop talking about virginity like it is such a big deal. Yes, I said it, virginity is grossly overrated.

Virginity is not a thing, really, it is a social construct meant to make people, especially women, feel badly about their sesuality and sesual experiences. Virginity is a passive-aggressive way of policing other people’s bodies and passing judgement on how they use them.

One problem that people fail to realize about virginity is that there is no hard and fast way of deciding who’s a virgin and who isn’t. Do you really think virginity can be measured or checked?

Many people define loss of virginity in almost the same way – a sesual act where the pennis penetrates the vaggina. But does that mean, then, that a lesbbian who has only been with other women is a virgin? Is a ggay man, who has only ever had anal seex, a virgin? Most people would agree that they aren’t really virgins, even if they’ve never had pennis-in-vaggina-style-intercourse.

How about rape victims? Who decides if they are virgins after the act of being raped? Rape victims usually consider themselves to be virgins because they don’t consider what happened to them to be seex.

Putting these into consideration, how then, do we define virginity?

Some people would say that performing any sesual act constitutes loss of one’s virginity, but that is a definition too broad for word virginity. Kids start experimenting with sesual play and experimentation at a fairly young age (common you know you are guilty), so does it then follow that every child who’s kissed someone of the opposite seex or played “mama and papa” has de facto lost their virginity? I am quite sure this sounds as crazier than ingesting salt to help prevent Ebola.

Another problem is that there is literally no way of knowing if someone is a virgin or not. People might tell you that you can check if a woman’s hymen is broken, but that’s not a reliable indicator at all. A hymen can be broken without any kind of sexual intercourse, through sports or some kind of injury. Hymen can be replaced through reconstructive surgery.

That is not all, hard to believe but not all women are born with hymens. Not all hymens tear during penetrative sex. And yet, we’ve all been sold this idea of torn flesh and blood on sheets as some kind of rite of passage for women.

And that is not the annoying part. The annoying part is how people associate virginity with being a good person. Like seriously? People consider a girl who is a virgin a good person and vice versa. The way some people flaunt the fact that they are virgins makes you wonder when virginity became the standard for measuring morality.

Just because you are a virgin, does not make you a better than the person who isn’t. It is a life choice and while we respect that, it does not give you the avenue to look down on anybody.

It’s like choosing not to smoke and all of a sudden you start to think you are better person than those who choose to smoke. You might live longer but it sure does not make you a better person.

Deciding what makes you a better person encompasses a million things and virginity is definitely not among them.

Finally, why is virginity so damn important to us? We don’t have nouns for who or what we were before we hit any other life milestones – there’s no term to refer to a person before they can walk or talk or read and write – all of which I would argue are more important achievements than getting laid – and yet it’s the sex that we focus on. Why do we put so much more weight on this one small facet of human life than we do on any of the others? Why are we still making a big deal out of who is a virgin and who isn’t?

This is the discussion that we should be having – not the advantages and disadvantages of being a virgin or not, but why we still use this damaging term.

We need to talk about why the idea of virginity continues to hold such sway over our cultural consciousness.

Most importantly, we need to figure out a better way to talk to kids about their bodies and their sexuality, because the way that we’re doing it now clearly isn’t working.

http://giftedgreen.com/2014/blog/2014/09/25/virginity-is-grossly-overrated-opinion/

I don't agree with you at all o...OP.

Arva: I don't agree with you at all o...OP.

What is your opinion?

Welcome to 21st century

Op U r so on point. I lamented this same way on the counter thread '' disadvantages of being a virgin.''
I know so many ladies here will counter wat U wrote, but it goes a long way to only proove how ryt U r.
Virginity is a thing of the heart, it a mindset, its being pure from within.
Even if U want, have over a million hymen blocking Ur h*neypot, its equal to nutin if U hav a bad character or mindset.

Some guys even go as far as ending a relationship wen dey learn dat their babe aint a virgin. U dnt even care to know how she lost it.
Again wat way can we know a guy dat is not a virgin?

thats what am tinking. Check out my signature for cheap datas.

This virgin thing don dey enta anoda level oo.

U so much want a virgin, ryt.?

U got a virgin.

U married a virgin.

And on Ur wedding nyt, am robbers comes to loot Ur wedding present and desides to R*PE Ur Virgin wife, WHAT WILL U DO?

@op please what message are you trying to pass across??....
not to judge pple by their virginity?....
if that is the message I strongly agree with u....but some parts of your post supports premarital sex....or am I getting u wrong?....I need clarification pls

Nobody asked you to lose your virginity. Just stop hating on those who are still virgins.
No one cares about your opinion on how they should use their bodies.

Sumtyms I wonder wat part of d pit of hell des write-ups cum from

@ op, anyhow u lyk or u wan twist am, virginity is not overrated, if u lyk talk of mind or hymen, virginity is not ova rated. If u ask a billion disvirgined girls if de wud av prefered gettin married as virgins, I believe dia response will be as gud as ur guess n mine.

In as much as I may not get married to a virgin cos of d scarcity of d virgin commodity around me, I won't jugde my future wife on her past cos mine isn't so great either, but I will encourage my future daughter to be chaste till marriage mind or hymen.

N please nairalanders letz support d next generation in keepin dia virginity till marriage, how can sum one tell me virginity is ovarated? If u knw u ar not goin to marry a girl, don't disvirgin her.

I encourage female virginity till marriage nite

If some people cherish being virgins and they like virgins, is that your business?

If someone loves to buy brand-new phones, why tell him or her brand-new phones are overrated?

Once again, another hogwash write-up.

Nobody is entitled to stay a virgin. And if one decides to, it's entirely a personal choice of strong conviction which signifies absolute purity of the body and mind.

All being said I don't think having this is or has to be important to everyone. But for me it's important. And honestly, it isn't over-rated at all.

It's just simply amazing when two people maintain purity for each other until their wedding day and I would like to have that one day. It's a big bonus. Having this special connection in marriage is very, very important and special to me. I don't care if you think it's over rated or not.

Virgin this! Virgin that!!....You guys need to stop this...

Different strokes for different folks....It is your life...YOu can decide to live it anyway you want.....As a virgin or as a non-virgin...

All i know is that, marriage is a game of luck....

ifaoni: thats what am tinking. Check out my signature for cheap datas.

u nd dis ur signature gan,

Gloria3389: @op please what message are you trying to pass across??....
not to judge pple by their virginity?....
if that is the message I strongly agree with u....but some parts of your post supports premarital sex....or am I getting u wrong?....I need clarification pls

The post dosent support premarital sex, neither does it condemn it. Just as temigrace said "Different strokes for different folks".
What the post is against is the way people get to make virginity look like a monumental deal. And like you said, the post is strongly against using virginity as an indicator of morality or goodness.

For crying outloud. . . There are psychopaths and sociopaths out there who are virgins

yuncka: This virgin thing don dey enta anoda level oo.

U so much want a virgin, ryt.?

U got a virgin.

U married a virgin.

And on Ur wedding nyt, am robbers comes to loot Ur wedding present and desides to R*PE Ur Virgin wife, WHAT WILL U DO?

This one is evil!

Virginity again?...*yawns*

Life is all bout choice...
Forget bout the fact that virginity is been overrated.... Civilization wiped away everything.
Gone are those days when our parent receives lotta gift from their in-laws cos a complete woman was given to them.
Gone are those days when women who kept their virginity for hubby walks around wid pride...

I read someone's post the other day.. He was actually emphasizing on the fact that he can't marry a virgin cos he love bad girls or he loves experienced ones, that no need to start training or telling her what to do... Abeg those bad girls shey dem carry dog@gy style come from heaven ni abi na as dem born dem, dem sabi touch your toes

I strongly believe virginity is a virtue.

Giftedgreen:

The post dosent support premarital sex, neither does it condemn it. Just as temigrace said "Different strokes for different folks".
What the post is against is the way people get to make virginity look like a monumental deal. And like you said, the post is strongly against using virginity as an indicator of morality or goodness.

For crying outloud. . . There are psychopaths and sociopaths out there who are virgins

hmmmmm....... pondering on that

Giftedgreen: This is supposed to promote sesual promiscuity but can we all stop talking about virginity like it is such a big deal. Yes, I said it, virginity is grossly overrated.

Virginity is not a thing, really, it is a social construct meant to make people, especially women, feel badly about their sesuality and sesual experiences. Virginity is a passive-aggressive way of policing other people’s bodies and passing judgement on how they use them.

One problem that people fail to realize about virginity is that there is no hard and fast way of deciding who’s a virgin and who isn’t. Do you really think virginity can be measured or checked?

Many people define loss of virginity in almost the same way – a sesual act where the pennis penetrates the vaggina. But does that mean, then, that a lesbbian who has only been with other women is a virgin? Is a ggay man, who has only ever had anal seex, a virgin? Most people would agree that they aren’t really virgins, even if they’ve never had pennis-in-vaggina-style-intercourse.

How about rape victims? Who decides if they are virgins after the act of being raped? Rape victims usually consider themselves to be virgins because they don’t consider what happened to them to be seex.

Putting these into consideration, how then, do we define virginity?

Some people would say that performing any sesual act constitutes loss of one’s virginity, but that is a definition too broad for word virginity. Kids start experimenting with sesual play and experimentation at a fairly young age (common you know you are guilty), so does it then follow that every child who’s kissed someone of the opposite seex or played “mama and papa” has de facto lost their virginity? I am quite sure this sounds as crazier than ingesting salt to help prevent Ebola.

Another problem is that there is literally no way of knowing if someone is a virgin or not. People might tell you that you can check if a woman’s hymen is broken, but that’s not a reliable indicator at all. A hymen can be broken without any kind of sexual intercourse, through sports or some kind of injury. Hymen can be replaced through reconstructive surgery.

That is not all, hard to believe but not all women are born with hymens. Not all hymens tear during penetrative sex. And yet, we’ve all been sold this idea of torn flesh and blood on sheets as some kind of rite of passage for women.

And that is not the annoying part. The annoying part is how people associate virginity with being a good person. Like seriously? People consider a girl who is a virgin a good person and vice versa. The way some people flaunt the fact that they are virgins makes you wonder when virginity became the standard for measuring morality.

Just because you are a virgin, does not make you a better than the person who isn’t. It is a life choice and while we respect that, it does not give you the avenue to look down on anybody.

It’s like choosing not to smoke and all of a sudden you start to think you are better person than those who choose to smoke. You might live longer but it sure does not make you a better person.

Deciding what makes you a better person encompasses a million things and virginity is definitely not among them.

Finally, why is virginity so damn important to us? We don’t have nouns for who or what we were before we hit any other life milestones – there’s no term to refer to a person before they can walk or talk or read and write – all of which I would argue are more important achievements than getting laid – and yet it’s the sex that we focus on. Why do we put so much more weight on this one small facet of human life than we do on any of the others? Why are we still making a big deal out of who is a virgin and who isn’t?

This is the discussion that we should be having – not the advantages and disadvantages of being a virgin or not, but why we still use this damaging term.

We need to talk about why the idea of virginity continues to hold such sway over our cultural consciousness.

Most importantly, we need to figure out a better way to talk to kids about their bodies and their sexuality, because the way that we’re doing it now clearly isn’t working.

http://giftedgreen.com/2014/blog/2014/09/25/virginity-is-grossly-overrated-opinion/

BRAVO. Proud of this thread

Henrypraise: Sumtyms I wonder wat part of d pit of hell des write-ups cum from

@ op, anyhow u lyk or u wan twist am, virginity is not overrated, if u lyk talk of mind or hymen, virginity is not ova rated. If u ask a billion disvirgined girls if de wud av prefered gettin married as virgins, I believe dia response will be as gud as ur guess n mine.

In as much as I may not get married to a virgin cos of d scarcity of d virgin commodity around me, I won't jugde my future wife on her past cos mine isn't so great either, but I will encourage my future daughter to be chaste till marriage mind or hymen.

N please nairalanders letz support d next generation in keepin dia virginity till marriage, how can sum one tell me virginity is ovarated? If u knw u ar not goin to marry a girl, don't disvirgin her.

I encourage female virginity till marriage nite

Defo overrated! And hell no i wouldnt want be virgin when marrying

jmoore: If some people cherish being virgins and they like virgins, is that your business?

If someone loves to buy brand-new phones, why tell him or her brand-new phones are overrated?

Once again, another hogwash write-up.

If its not anyone bussiness then why everybody in here is showeling into everybody's throats that virginity is so best thing?! Virgin ?! Nobody gives a f*uck. Keep it to yourself and dont brag about it

voodoo85:

Defo overrated! And hell no i wouldnt want be virgin when marrying

I must appreciate ur direct answer n speakin 4 ursef.

Now giv ur reasons 4 ur answer.

Henrypraise:

I must appreciate ur direct answer n speakin 4 ursef.

Now giv ur reasons 4 ur answer.

Reasons for what? For non virgin marriage?

voodoo85:

Reasons for what? For non virgin marriage?

Yea, d reasons u wud prefer to marry as a non-virgin. Enlighten me pls.

I didn't even read this.
but virginity is overrated!

Henrypraise:

Yea, d reasons u wud prefer to marry as a non-virgin. Enlighten me pls.

ok. First of all, marrying a virgin is basically buying a cat in a bag. Who knows how will be after first night. maybe the person will be total rubbish in bed. you can teach lots of things but some things only nature gives and can't be fought what so ever. for me sex is really important in relationship, and if am not happy in bed am not happy with a relationship. of course i can be with a person but it doesn't mean that i won't have supplements. for u as real christian that shouldn't be a problem because as it said in holy book - sex is only for reproduction, so your husband can be useless in bed since u r getting his semen to make babies and that should be enough for u. another thing is, pain. why i have to ruin my magic day and night with nastiness of blood and not enjoy myself? another thing, if i am virgin, having a first night with my husband and then after some times you realise that your marriage sucks (maybe he is not giving attention or physically/psychologically abusing u, drinking etc) whats than? u regret that u gave your virginity to the wrong man?? plus theres possibility that only your child will disvirgin you because sometimes hymen is so elastic that it only breaks when u giving a birth.

i guess now we know those gurls that are not virgins. by their post u shall know them, dnt really care abt virginity, its not like virgins are angels anyway

voodoo85:

ok. First of all, marrying a virgin is basically buying a cat in a bag. Who knows how will be after first night. maybe the person will be total rubbish in bed. you can teach lots of things but some things only nature gives and can't be fought what so ever. for me sex is really important in relationship, and if am not happy in bed am not happy with a relationship. of course i can be with a person but it doesn't mean that i won't have supplements. for u as real christian that shouldn't be a problem because as it said in holy book - sex is only for reproduction, so your husband can be useless in bed since u r getting his semen to make babies and that should be enough for u. another thing is, pain. why i have to ruin my magic day and night with nastiness of blood and not enjoy myself? another thing, if i am virgin, having a first night with my husband and then after some times you realise that your marriage sucks (maybe he is not giving attention or physically/psychologically abusing u, drinking etc) whats than? u regret that u gave your virginity to the wrong man?? plus theres possibility that only your child will disvirgin you because sometimes hymen is so elastic that it only breaks when u giving a birth.

I want u to relax n read wat u av wrote tomoro mornin. I cudnt pik a valid point from it.

Henrypraise:

I want u to relax n read wat u av wrote tomoro mornin. I cudnt pik a valid point from it.

am gud i don't see any valid point of staying virgin till marriage as well

Not a fan of virginity though, punny na punny, if u not enjoying ur babe get a better di.ck size