You may be married or you may be dating, but the restless confusions feel just the same when you’re drifting apart from each other. You may not know the reasons or even when the drift started, but you can sense it from the unhappiness you feel in love.

Read these 12 reasons to find out why most couples drift apart over time, and chances are, you’ll see your own life in one or more of these reasons. And once you do find out where you or your lover went wrong, you can choose to correct it, or walk away for good.

#1 Non-communication. Communication is by far the single biggest aspect that holds lovers together or tears them apart. Do you still talk to your lover the same way you once did at the start of the relationship?

People change with time, and you may assume you know everything about your lover, but chances are, they’ve changed and they’re not the same person you once met several years ago. When you start to take communication for granted in a relationship, it’s only a matter of time before the inevitable drift takes control of the relationship.

#2 Suppressed emotions. Does your partner ever tell you to dream big, or quit your job and find something better, or anything else that makes you feel small and weak? How do you react to it? Do you communicate with your partner and express just how you feel about their ideas, or do you subtly grind your teeth, roll your eyes and just nod your head to get away from a discussion?

Many couples drift apart, not because they don’t love each other, but because they suppress just how they truly feel about the things their partner says. Your partner would assume they’re communicating with you. And you, on the other hand, would tell yourself that your partner can never understand you. Can a relationship ever work when such confusions play out every single day?

#3 Incompatibility. This could happen over the years, or immediately after the infatuation period. If you start to believe that both of you have nothing in common, you’ll only feel worse over time. And what starts off as a nagging worry may end up leading both of you away in opposite directions.

If you want a relationship to work, it’s always best to test your compatibility at the very beginning of the relationship, instead of trying to trying to sculpt your lover into your idea of the perfect mate over time.



#4 Swollen egos. When both of you fight or have a discussion, do both of you give in now and then for the sake of the partner’s happiness? In a few relationships, ego plays a bigger part than the relationship itself.

If you’d rather give your partner the silent treatment or avoid them instead of trying to make up with them, chances are, your ego is the reason why both of you are drifting apart. Arguments are good for a relationship, but only if they’re used the right way!

#5 Emotional affairs. You spend a lot of time at work. But somewhere along the way, have you started getting really close to a colleague or an old friend of yours *of the opposite sex*? Sometimes, you may never even realize it, but you may be confiding more to a friend than your own spouse or lover.

It may not seem like much now, but there’s a thin between friendship and emotional affairs. And if you’re in an emotional affair, you’re setting your relationship up for doom.

#6 Initiative. In a successful relationship, both partners have to take an active interest in pleasing each other and making the other person happy. When you don’t take initiative in love, both of you may start to take each other for granted, and the relationship would start to stagnate.

Go out on vacations, plan crazy dates, tease each other and have fun. And most importantly, try to create memories every day. It’s the easiest way to take the initiative and show just how much you care.

#7 Life directions. As time goes by, both of you may pursue different interests in life. One of you may want something, while the other lover may want something completely different. For a while, the relationship may still seem happy and perfect.

If you believe your relationship is perfect, even if both of you don’t go out or do anything new, while your partner believes they’re stuck in a suffocating rut, these are differences that can make both of you drift away to the point of no return.

#8 Confrontations. Do you avoid confrontations? Many lovers avoid all kinds of confrontations all the time. They just put up with anything their partner says, and sulk about it behind their partner’s back. If you’re tired of fighting it or discussing anything sensitive with your partner, you’re probably tired of the relationship or have given up on its success already.

#9 Sexual intimacy. Sex is a very important part of romance and love. If you’re not having enough sex, or not trying hard enough to keep the sexual excitement on a high, you’d find yourself bored with your relationship in no time. You may think you’re content with the lack of sexual intimacy, but in reality, that’s because both of you are turning into siblings instead of a romantic couple!

#10 Emotional intimacy. Do you still connect with your partner emotionally? Is your partner the first person you want to share good news with? Do you feel happy just talking to your lover or telling them about your day?

These are little things that don’t seem like much, but they play a big part in holding a relationship together. The lack of emotional intimacy in romance will force one or both of you into an emotional affair or at times, a sexual affair too.

#11 Lack of time for each other. We work really hard these days. And at times, we don’t have more than an hour or two to spend with our lover, what with work and all the hanging out with friends. At first, both of you may miss each other.

But as the months pass by, both of you will learn to live without each other. And before either of you know it, both of you as individuals would be completely capable of leading your own lives without having the other person in it. And once neither of you have the need for the other person, it’s inevitable that both of you will drift away from each other.

#12 Buildup of resentments. Do you ever feel like your partner’s not good enough for you? Disappointments that aren’t discussed always lead to resentments, and over time, these resentments accumulate and convince you that you’re unhappy in the relationship.

These resentments may be small and at times, even too silly to ever mention out loud, but they’d gnaw at you from the inside, and however hard your partner tries, you’d always feel like you’re stuck in a meaningless relationship when you could be so much happier with someone else. Learn to communicate with your lover, and talk about these resentments even if it seems awkward. After all, building these resentments will only force you to drift away from your lover even if they’re crazy about you.

These 12 reasons seem easy to deal with, but almost always, it’s these simple reasons that cause the biggest hurdles in love and force couples to drift apart, even if both of them are still truly in love with each other!

Good luck...!!!

Well said. Just unfortunate that mine have already packed up before you brought this up.

thanks OP, I most save dis relationship

Okay. Noted

deuce7:
Well said. Just unfortunate that mine have already packed up before you brought this up.

it is never too late to take steps to rejuvenate your relationship. How are you sure the next person will be better than your ex? The grass always looks greener on the other side! The problem most times is that we undermine what we have until we lose it....Take that bold step TODAY!!!

Mehn..OP you're right oo....

I find most of these faults in me too

keyke:
thanks OP, I most save dis relationship

you are welcome! You will surely save it. Love is a beautiful thing especially when the right one loves you right! Good luck

freshprincex49:
you are welcome! You will surely save it. Love is a beautiful thing especially when the right one loves you right! Good luck

Amen, tanx

noted

With swollen egos and emotional affairs and too many friendships. I wonder how this lady is gonna make a good relationship..

I detest numbers 4 and 5..

Nice post !
Anyone who desires a blissful married life/relationship must guide against all the 12 reasons why lovers drift apart.

100Cents:
With swollen egos and emotional affairs and too many friendships. I wonder how this lady is gonna make a good relationship..

I detest numbers 4 and 5..

over bloated ego is one of the main reasons why most relationships do not stand the test of time