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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Wife Makes Hurtful Comments (curses?) To Me. What To Do? (18023 Views)
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Re: Wife Makes Hurtful Comments (curses?) To Me. What To Do? by Nobody: 6:12pm On Mar 25, 2015 |
EXACTLY! When I just got married,I use to loose my cool n most times my husband will ignore me.some other times he had to put his foot down n that taught me some manners....don't be too soft, we women can take advantage. BELIEVE ME.
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Re: Wife Makes Hurtful Comments (curses?) To Me. What To Do? by exebi: 5:30am On Apr 06, 2015 |
Here is an update to those who followed and/or contributed to this thread. Things have actually gotten worse. Much worse. I truly do not know what to do. My mind says end the marriage as it is not working and is not likely to work given the obvious signs. My heart is torn by the fact that this would go against the biblical injunction against divorce, be an acknowledgment that I failed in a major life decision, bring much sadness to my parents, friends and loved ones...and bring me shame over my failure. My heart also still wants to believe she can transform back to the woman I thought she was or the woman she used to be. My heart believes if this happens then we can have the wonderful marriage I thought we would have. I am at a complete loss as to how I got into this mess. I though I took steps and prayed against this outcome. I am now becoming paranoid. Wondering if the marriage is under spiritual attack? Wondering if she is now possessed because truly the things she says and does these days are mind boggling - this cannot be the same woman I married. I am even beginning to wonder if the same spiritual attack I suspect on the marriage is what has severely negatively impacted my business. The collapse my business has experienced since this marriage commenced, if I tel you the details you would WEEP FOR ME. Actually my business has been in decline since this relationship started and the decline has been simply catastrophic and hard to explain or fathom. An incredible combination of bad decisions on my part, bad luck, misfortune and strange occurrences adversely impacting the business (bad luck). If not for my love of God, I would have since committed suicide. I am deeply pained and deeply confused. Pray for me. Counsel me. Thank you. |
Re: Wife Makes Hurtful Comments (curses?) To Me. What To Do? by Nobody: 6:01am On Apr 06, 2015 |
Don't give up it can get better. If what you were doing before didn't work maybe you can try something else. Sometimes if you want to change a situation you have to first accept it as it is. No judging it as bad or good just acceptance of all that is in front of you. Accept your wife as she is right now stop trying to change her into who you think she should be. This is not to say tolerate bad behavior but while being firm accept her as she is. I am sorry for your pain and confusion. I feel once you gain clarity the pain will go the confusion has you knotted up you can't see the wood for the trees the most important person in your life is you and you are the only one YOU can change so if there is any change to be done start with yourself the rest I believe will follow. All the best. |
Re: Wife Makes Hurtful Comments (curses?) To Me. What To Do? by kaboninc(m): 12:57pm On Apr 06, 2015 |
Accept gini? If your left hand will cause you to loose your life, biko cut if off and burn it to ashes! Another may not grow but your other body part will make up for it. Amputees are alive today because a rusted arm (or leg) was cut of. Today they've climbed to heights even one with complete human parts has never attained. Life is hope. Being alive is having hope for a better tomorrow. Giving up doesn't necessarily mean giving up. It can mean leaving today to live tomorrow! If a woman, your partner cannot share your dreams, goals, aspirations, lead you on, support you, stand by you, encourage you, motivate you, inspire you, then you've definitely made a huge mistake in marrying her and need to correct it. Too much gentility will lead one to an early grave. You can give her the grace to change but if nothing works, stay away from her and still if nothing works, divorce am. Am not a fan of divorce but am not also a fan of polygamy. Am not a fan of a death trapped marriages. Choose the lesser evil - separation (then divorce) Everybody deserves to be happy, has the right to be at peace and be calm. Any threat to it should be dealt with accordingly. I for sure cannot stand a foul, bad mouthed lady. Gosh!!! And she my wife? Then am a LIVING DEAD! Exebi, you're thinking of divorce and its implications. I hope you should also consider or currently considering your happiness and state of mind. Encouragement, motivation and inspiration are important drivers of the wheel of success. If your wife is not driving you, biko jump to another bus or wait for another. Every bus APPEARS to be on the same journey but so many are already derailed right before they started! God's Grace takes care of us even in our inactions and thoughts - but we shouldn't take it for granted. May God continue to guide you through this difficult time. Also note that for every event, there's always a lesson to learn. Cheers. 2 Likes |
Re: Wife Makes Hurtful Comments (curses?) To Me. What To Do? by exebi: 2:56pm On Apr 06, 2015 |
Kaboninc, Thanks for your counsel. It is hard to disagree with your advice. kaboninc: |
Re: Wife Makes Hurtful Comments (curses?) To Me. What To Do? by kukuruku156(f): 3:01pm On Apr 06, 2015 |
Bros take am easy!! Regardless of how you're feeling, you're not the only one in the situation. Have you tried inviting her out to a private resort and trying to get to the bottom of things? Is there somebody you know she is very close to or defers to that you can table your matter before? The good thing about your situation is there are no kids yet BUT are you sure even though you said both of you agreed not to have kids yet, she doesn't actually feel it's a solo decision of yours. It's very simple, easy and sometimes the cowardly route to take to start insinuating that your woes are because of marriage to her. There are a great deal we don't know about your story. Bring mature people she respects into the matter and please try and maintain some sense of normalcy and engage yourself in things that you personally enjoy doing . Abeg no give yourself hypertension. The closest description of hell is usually a turbulent marriage. |
Re: Wife Makes Hurtful Comments (curses?) To Me. What To Do? by kaboninc(m): 3:28pm On Apr 06, 2015 |
exebi: You're welcome! Always try to smile like this or Trust me, it has a way of soothing the nerves. Maybe some day, you come to understand how things work and why we behave the way we do. But for now, leave that to God. It is well with you. |
Re: Wife Makes Hurtful Comments (curses?) To Me. What To Do? by DukeNija(m): 4:23pm On Apr 06, 2015 |
exebi: Why don't you go for deliverance? Look for a prayerful church and go for deliverance. I will recommend Mfm prayer city for you. I too had a challenge and went there, and honestly my testimony came on the second day of the deliverance. You call yourself a Christian, yet the enemy has crippled your marriage and business. How do you expect to fight back? By lamenting on nairaland? Pls go for serious prayer and fasting. I suspect two things, either its the work of spirit spouses who want to wreck you and destroy your marriage, or there's a direct attack from somewhere, most likely family. Well my mom is a pastor so I've seen many things. I've seen a couple who couldn't stand each other before, the man went for deliverance and instantly, the wife traced him to the venue and with tears they reconciled. Oga, pls don't blame your wife. |
Re: Wife Makes Hurtful Comments (curses?) To Me. What To Do? by exebi: 4:35pm On Apr 06, 2015 |
Bros, I've been praying...I REALLY HAVE! While it appears I am blaming my wife by saying: "Wondering if she is now possessed because truly the things she says and does these days are mind boggling - this cannot be the same woman I married." Do not forget that I also said: "Wondering if the marriage is under spiritual attack?" meaning I leave room for the possibility that we are both under atatck ..or maybe I am under attack. As I said, I am becoming paranoid and this paranoia annoys me. I am not opposed to going for "deliverance"...but one has heard so many things about fake pastors, etc...that I am extremely cautious/wary in that regard. DukeNija: |
Re: Wife Makes Hurtful Comments (curses?) To Me. What To Do? by exebi: 4:36pm On Apr 06, 2015 |
I forgot to say Thanks DukeNija for your brotherly support. |
Re: Wife Makes Hurtful Comments (curses?) To Me. What To Do? by DukeNija(m): 4:45pm On Apr 06, 2015 |
exebi: If at this stage of your life, with all the woes currently betiding you, you are still afraid of fake pastors, then I don't know what else to tell you. I didn't say pray, I said go for deliverance at Mfm prayer city. During the deliverance you' ll have to fast for about 3days. The kind of prayer you'll pray there, them never born that demon or person well make dem no free you. Well, if you want a solution, this is what I have to offer you. Im not going to empathize with you or join the pity wagon. Mfm prayer city is at KM 12, Lagos Ibadan Expressway. If for nothing, your business needs deliverance. |
Re: Wife Makes Hurtful Comments (curses?) To Me. What To Do? by kaboninc(m): 4:54pm On Apr 06, 2015 |
DukeNija: Hmmmmm Sometimes, a short prayer and a huge faith is all you need! |
Re: Wife Makes Hurtful Comments (curses?) To Me. What To Do? by DukeNija(m): 5:01pm On Apr 06, 2015 |
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Re: Wife Makes Hurtful Comments (curses?) To Me. What To Do? by Zikkie(f): 5:06pm On Apr 06, 2015 |
It is well with u, exebi. |
Re: Wife Makes Hurtful Comments (curses?) To Me. What To Do? by mutter(f): 8:24pm On Aug 28, 2015 |
You have it in your hand to turn this marriage around. Your marriage is not under any spiritual attack and neither is your wife responsible. This is simple how it can get in life. There comes a time the bad luck just does not let go. As you are trying to get out of one pit you fall into an even deeper one. Some have even committed suicide or had break downs because it just gets from bad to worse. But this is life. Carry your cross. We all do. I have been there myself it is like a trip to hell . Please don't put pressure on your wife to pray. It has to come from withen her. By praying and living an exemplary life she will start to emulate you . Your wife is fighting g so hard because she is in pain. The truth is you believe she has brought you bad luck and crashed you I don't think any woman can handle that You know the devil plays with our minds I can sit down and think of all the things I hold against my husband. By the time I am through I would be ready to end the marriage I can also sit down and think about all the good things and feel I gave the best man in the world. You see only you are paddling this boat. Turn around and paddle back to the shore and let your wife on the boat. I have this feeling that on the shore there is a very hurt woman waiting for you. Her actions are merely steered by frustration and pain. You seem to give everything a much deeper meaning Y |
Re: Wife Makes Hurtful Comments (curses?) To Me. What To Do? by mutter(f): 8:25pm On Aug 28, 2015 |
You have it in your hand to turn this marriage around. Your marriage is not under any spiritual attack and neither is your wife responsible. This is simple how it can get in life. There comes a time the bad luck just does not let go. A you are trying to get out of one pit you fall into an even deeper one. Some have even committed suicide or had break downs because it just gets from bad to worse. But this is life. Carry your cross. We all do. I have been there myself it is like a trip to hell . Please don't put pressure on your wife to pray. It has to come from withen her. By praying and living an exemplary life she will start to emulate you . Your wife is fighting g so hard because she is in pain. The truth is you believe she has brought you bad luck and crashed you I don't think any woman can handle that You know the devil plays with our minds I can sit down and think of all the things I hold against my husband. By the time I am through I would be ready to end the marriage I can also sit down and think about all the good things and feel I gave the best man in the world. You see only you are paddling this boat. Turn around and paddle back to the shore and let your wife on the boat. I have this feeling that on the shore there is a very hurt woman waiting for you. Her actions are merely steered by frustration and pain. You seem to give everything a much deeper meaning Y |
Re: Wife Makes Hurtful Comments (curses?) To Me. What To Do? by Nobody: 7:39pm On Aug 29, 2015 |
Dont go dabbling into any spiritual anything. Am not saying you shouldnt pray or turn to God with your problems. But remove the mindset that your marriage is under any spiritual attack. If you willing to work on your marriage, set aside your ego. Talk to yourself and outline anything you have ever done wrong to her. Also think of any grudge she might have against you. Why does she keep mentioning that you are frustrated?. Approach her with your thoughts. Dont sound like you are blaming her.. If possible blame yourself and watch her open up.. there is definitely something eating her up and until you find out what it is, it will be had to forge ahead.. Whatever is the problem with her does not justify the name calling anyway. Just try and reason with her on one of her good days.. If things get out of hand, you could fake a business trip or family visit and go away for a few days. By the time you get back you guys might be ready to open up. |
Re: Wife Makes Hurtful Comments (curses?) To Me. What To Do? by janvier27(m): 9:47pm On Aug 29, 2015 |
Dialogue. Ask her clearly if she wants to stay or go. Grant her wish. |
Re: Wife Makes Hurtful Comments (curses?) To Me. What To Do? by Nobody: 6:16am On Feb 12, 2018 |
exebi: You are not married but living single.A good marriage is where you are not judged.Its your sanctuary.That woman belongs to another man.She is not your wife. |
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