Relationship expert, Praise Fowowe outlines the top qualities to look out for in a life partner. Happy reading:

1. Home training: I cannot think divorce because I was brought up not to
think about it. I do not steal and I have never prayed to God to help me
overcome stealing. My father conditioned me not to steal. If I had to
steal, it’s a new skill that I need to develop.I was not wired to have
extra marital affairs and I had to take responsibility for myself not to
do so. If a child has been properly brought up, you can be sure that the
marriage will work. It’s not about speaking in tongues, because some
people speak in tongues and lack home training. That’s why we say
charity begins at home.

2. Values: Values must be compatible. What do you believe in? What
drives you? Are you driven by material things like cars? I did not have
a car when I proposed to my wife. What was in my account was less than
10 thousand naira. All I had was a dream and she was magnanimous
enough to believe in me. My wife has never put any financial burden on
me. Whatever I can provide is what she takes and she never compares
me. What are your values? Are you someone who keeps to your word? Are
you accountable? The 21st century love must not be at first sight but
must hire binoculars to see from afar.

3. Current reality: Apart from values you need to ask, can I marry
this man/woman based on current reality? Some people get married
and hope the person will change; that they will change is hope – it never
works. If he smokes or womanizes can you stick with him? Forget that
God will change him. If he doesn’t change are you okay?

4. Vision: Never marry someone who is not going somewhere with his
life, if the vision is not accurately defined, don’t go in. It’s like
entering a one chance bus. You won’t land in your destination.

5. The question ‘why’: In addition to that vision is the question
“Why?” A guy comes to meet you and says he loves you. Ask him why
me? There are so many other girls and you’ll be shocked that 9 out of 10
can’t answer that question. They will say something like ‘I love your
shape’. He doesn’t love you because he doesn’t know you. That’s why I
don’t believe in love at first sight. You can’t love anyone at first sight
because you don’t know the person. What you’re seeing is the person’s
packaging. My package is not me. When you ask ‘why do you love me?”
and the person says ‘Oh you just have straight legs’ what he is saying
to you invariably is, I don’t want to marry a person, I want to marry a
leg.
Until you know why, don’t deal because it means the guy is going to
mess you up. Every marriage in crisis that I have encountered, doesn’t
know the reason why they got married. You hear some say “I married
her because I wanted someone who could take care of the home and to
cook” so the guy was looking for a housekeeper and cook and not a wife.
People don’t know how to answer the right questions so they mess up. It
is critical and if you understand these things, you can never go wrong.

6. Adopt a family constitution – I also recommend for people to write
their family constitution and to put punitive measures in it before you
marry so that if we had agreed with the constitution before we married,
that if you ever cheat on me and you are caught or you report yourself,
you will first go through HIV screening and all medical tests before we
think of the next step. So when it happens, you will bring out the
constitution. People need to cover themselves but sadly people go
sheepishly into relationships then they get in there and are surprised.
The 21st century trend is to get yourself covered. It’s not a contract
marriage. It’s agreement. Can two walk together except they agree? If
you don’t want me to have extramarital affairs, state what you want
e.g wild sex and friendship, so we can both fulfill our roles. That way we
would build the most desirable families. The most important setting on
earth is your family and it starts with the choice of who to marry. The
reason why Nigeria is collapsing is because the family system has
collapsed. When we build it right and build people right, we won’t have
any problem.

Knowledgeable Nairaland peeps, what your take on these?

That man's messages re always touching, d 1st tym I listened 2 praise fowowe's r'ship sermon, it changed my mentality about relationships.

Is that all