Tufanja

I have an entirely different view of the matter. I don't believe that having numerous partners prevents you from eventually being smitten and sticking to one person. For my own part, I've been in a couple of relationships, tho I'm presently not in one. The fact that you can get over being in love tends to make me wary of it. I think the magic of sexual intimacy is inferior to that of an emotional or intellectual one.

I agree with you that women have more to lose from casual unprotected sex, which I would not advise either. And at least you agree that it is man like to be a "sex being".

All your points are fair, but romantic love is not always a priority.

@undercat

Thinking different is one of the goodies of a free society ;-). It is good to design our own life and world in the way it lives up to our own ideals without prescribing a blueprint for others. But if I taste a good wine, I would enthusiastically offer others to try it as well ;-). It's up to them to decide if they like the taste of it or not ;-).
I think its true that you can have emotional and spiritual connection with someone and that the sexual dimension is often overrated by emphasizing too much on it. With the rush to marriage, the essence of love may be passed by as much as investing in the other dimensions of togetherness, marriage should never be rushed nor considered just in order to have a sort of free pass to sex. I'm pretty much not fancying that approach, it doesn't serve investing in real love and bounding at all.
The golden trinity is when the romantic connection comes in with someone you feel emotional, intellectual and spiritual flowing with on an exceptional level. That's a pretty rare combination. To puzzle that you need time & energy and not too much distractions in short affairs.
About the man's sex drive...well let me not start discussions on that here...I just know that biology is too often used as an excuse and that a big deal is connected to the way one is wired, the exposures, the culture in which one grows up, personal character, weaknesses, every day choices etc... It's not a topic to discuss in the margin ;-). The haters would be waiting to kill me

Tufanja

I plan to try your good wine someday. I'd prefer to come upon it by accident. The surprise should make it sweeter. But of course I could spare the time and energy if I have to.

About a man's sex drive, I think even after accounting for all the things you mentioned, the average guy still has the higher drive. Its just the cross we are burdened with . Haters can only hate, but to be safe where would you rather discuss it?

@undercat

Lol I guess I would prefer to discuss that with some good glass of wine ;-)

Tufanja:
Learning how to love is one of the most beautiful but challenging journey's in life...sleeping with the one you love is a totally different emotional, spiritual en sexual experience than just sleeping around. It is an investment in a unique bounding.

The more often you sleep around, the more you lose your exclusively bounding powers and the easier it becomes to be unfaithful. See it as a sticker, the first time you stick it somewhere it keeps strong, if you take it off and stick it elsewhere it sticks less well, and the more you remove that sticker around the less well it sticks and the easier it is to remove it... So what I want to say, in the end you lose the capacity to connect deeply with one person and commit to love.

I just wonder how people can be satisfied with such superficial sexual experiences. They clearly havent experienced how different it can be otherwise they would never want different and even wouldnt talk about solely self-centered needs... The fruits of people who solely focus on their self-centered needs have proven in every field of life to be everything but tasteful.

I just wish you all the magic of sharing special intimacy with one person who is the world to you. Nothing is more beautiful and powerful in a relationship than having that secret you hold among each other, the expressing of your deepest emotions only between the two of you. How sexy is it when the whole town already have seen your orgasm face?

For me, there should be no different standards between man or woman. It is about the heart, its designed according to the same concept. One thing differs...a woman is the breeding ground of life. When she exposes her body to a man, she is the one taking the biggest risk. Man should think about the question why they are not taking the biggest risk at their side? No wonder a girl asks of you a guarantee that she will not be left behind in misery after a man has used her without love. A woman is much more vulnerable to the risk of getting pregnant, getting an STD and ruining her fertility due to it. Besides, she is more vulnerable to male power, rather physical or mental, which can make it hard for her to stand up for herself in an intimate setting. It is only within a safe setting (literally and figuratively) that she can flower... Women are mums to be...we all know how mum's love is...how committed...it says something about how deeply interwoven sexuality, fertility and love for a woman are... by asking of woman to just sleep around with you...you doing something fundamentally against her nature. You ask of her to become more man-like and split herself into a sex-being and a loving-being... If you want to sleep with a real woman you should never wish that...

If you want to pick women as flowers near the road...instead of chosing one and gardening that one...realise that all those picked flowers will easily wither away...and you will keep replacing them... Why dont do people care for the traces they leave in others...every contact you have with others leaves a print...what print do you want to leave...women who are taken by men time after time...they often have a history of scars you dont know about which make them to think that they can only get love and attention by sleeping with a man...there is a whole lot complex psychology behind this... I doubt if you still would like to grab a girl after you had first studied her deepest life and heart history...

Let's work on a higher and a deeper love.
x

~ Sign of puberty: confusing sex and love or placing them in the wrong order ~

I really enjoyed reading this....I would have specifically quoted some key areas, but honestly the whole post is a "key area"

I've added it to my list of interesting Nairaland reads - posts like this need to be ruminated from time to time.

@ InZa
thanks for the acknowledgements ;-)