humilitypays:
@op, this is way too much. All a man need is a honest, happy lady who believes in him and sees greatness in him at all condition and every other thing will fall into place. You guys are making it appear like all women now are evil, thereby scaring guys away from getting married or trusting ladies, not good pls.

Nigerian ladies remain the best in the whole world

Nigga please!

Elesta:


I'm not much of an obedient or submissive person. U know what they say about first borns. I grew upI telling my siblings what to do,so I'm not used to taking instructions from someone

You my friend, have your work cut out for you. You'll find yourself in dire straits with this trait of yours not only in matters of societal relationships but also in your career.

No boss can condone insubordination from a subordinate (read: dis-obedience and a subliminal display of pride and aloofness) on the job. Do work on this failing of yours (yes, it is a failing, don't ever be deceived into thinking it's a compliment or strength).

4C2215131:


You my friend, have your work cut out for you. You'll find yourself in dire straits with this trait of yours not only in matters of societal relationships but also in your career.

No boss can condone insubordination from a subordinate (read: dis-obedience and a subliminal display of pride and aloofness) on the job. Do work on this failing of yours (yes, it is a failing, don't ever be deceived into thinking it's a compliment or strength).

U might b right but mine isn't to d extreme. I obey my boss at work,its only when it gets too much and if he/she does it in an extremely derogatory way that I become stubborn

Elesta:


U might b right but mine isn't to d extreme. I obey my boss at work,its only when it gets too much and if he/she does it in an extremely derogatory way that I become stubborn

Your boss IS your boss. There are ways you can express your reservation to his/her attitude bar stubbornness. NOBODY yourself inclusive like stubborn people.

In fact by conceding to your bosses demand on the job (not extra work issues) despite his/her uncouth attitude, you end up appearing stronger and wiser thus making him/her look like the idiota he/she really is. So, do work on it. You'll be all the better for it. Trust me, I know.

4C2215131:


Your boss IS your boss. There are ways you can express your reservation to his/her attitude bar stubbornness. NOBODY yourself inclusive like stubborn people.

In fact by conceding to your bosses demand on the job (not extra work issues) despite his/her uncouth attitude, you end up appearing stronger and wiser thus making him/her look like the idiota he/she really is. So, do work on it. You'll be all the better for it. Trust me, I know.

Sounds good. Thanks, but how do I deal wit extra hours?last week I was forced to stay extra hours to do work that is originally his

Elesta:


Sounds good. Thanks, but how do I deal wit extra hours?last week I was forced to stay extra hours to do work that is originally his

Does your firm have a policy with regard to "extra time"?. Again, you used the term "forced". Can you elucidate further with regrads to this. This is so I can advise you better.

Elesta:


Sounds good. Thanks, but how do I deal wit extra hours?last week I was forced to stay extra hours to do work that is originally his

If it's nothing urgent you simply tell him you have plans, grab your bag and say bye - don't even give him a chance to say no. Or if it's not part of your job description you tell him. If he raises hell you remind him of your employment contract - that's why it's there. It states in black and white your duties and your work hours and that is all you are legally obliged to do outside those parameters, it's goodwill.

VickyyB:

It's not hard to do.

You are right. I don't need to be materialistic.
But, any girl who's materialistic shouldn't be blame because you guys objectify our beauty and we objectify your money. Draw-draw

What a short-sighted way of reasoning. If she must be a home keeper, there's no way she shouldn't be materialistic.

Good

Like seriously?

Stùpidity and low self esteem.

In what ways?
It's 50/50. He obeys me and I obey him.

If I am rich, I would be submissive and he will also be submissive.
A man can't make a home without a woman.

Good! A man shouldn't do the same.

Same as men.


10 over 10

Mehn! This "Ego" is too hign...

VickyyB:

It's not hard to do.

You are right. I don't need to be materialistic.
But, any girl who's materialistic shouldn't be blame because you guys objectify our beauty and we objectify your money. Draw-draw

What a short-sighted way of reasoning. If she must be a home keeper, there's no way she shouldn't be materialistic.

Good

Like seriously?

Stùpidity and low self esteem.

In what ways?
It's 50/50. He obeys me and I obey him.

If I am rich, I would be submissive and he will also be submissive.
A man can't make a home without a woman.

Good! A man shouldn't do the same.

Same as men.


10 over 10

Mehn! This "Ego" is too high...

Misogynist2014:
These petty things don't worry me at all. Who cares if she's submissive?

Na so we dey hear.

AmberQueen:
What is scarin' you

Atimes it's scary knowing someone +ve

geniuzio:
I believe relationships should be based on love, trust and mutual respect. It is not an avenue to display power.

Absolutely!

[deleted]

[deleted]

9/10...am sure of that,no one is perfect though.

4C2215131:


At least you're bold and honest enough to tell it like it is, much more than can be said for a whole lot of hypocritical females out there. Let's just hope there won't come a day when...?!

Eh....when what?! Please finish that statement. I'm dying of curiosity......

AmberQueen:
Im good dear... U?

That santa on ur dp tho...lol

you just remember me today? Sinceeeeeee....

Well ive been good.

No mind me jare...

Alot of water passin under d bridge of life & me is just trying to stay afloat.

Good to hear. How's dat Chemistry assignment goin?

daveP:


you just remember me today? Sinceeeeeee....

Well ive been good.

AmberQueen:
No mind me jare...

Alot of water passin under d bridge of life & me is just trying to stay afloat.

Good to hear. How's dat Chemistry assignment goin?

all iz well! You're still in Nigeria?


Yeah ive dissected it halfway-quantum numbers. Tell me youre good in chemistry? Oya come and tutor me small.

Chiadanin:


Eh....when what?! Please finish that statement. I'm dying of curiosity......

You sure know what I'm talking about...you sure do. Just take some time out to think and you'll grasp what I'm trying to intimate. If you still cannot comprehend, then I promise to spell it out to you ( i doubt it'll happen though as you seem like an intellectual, so, I seriously suspect you know where I'm coming from).

4C2215131:


You sure know what I'm talking about...you sure do. Just take some time out to think and you'll grasp what I'm trying to intimate. If you still cannot comprehend, then I promise to spell it out to you ( i doubt it'll happen though as you seem like an intellectual, so, I seriously suspect you know where I'm coming from).

Lol!. Dude (or dudette), ur killing me. Spill it............no clue what ur on about. Ru drunk? No drunk typing yknow. Hehe. Jk.


But really,

Chiadanin:


Lol!. Dude (or dudette), ur killing me. Spill it............no clue what ur on about. Ru drunk? No drunk typing yknow. Hehe. Jk.


But really,

With all due respect Madam, I take exception to your addressing me as possibly being "drunk". Maybe you meant it lightly, just irked me a bit as I don't hit my keyboard for the fun of it...if I have nothing to contribute to a post by way of a philosophical contribution, healthy debate or a witty comment, I stay my hands and hold my peace.

Again, I never meant to play the mind game this whole reparte is turning out to be so, my apologies for not being overly lucid with respect to my earlier post.

Yeah am still in Nigeria...

Uh oh! I dn't know a thn about chemistry...

Was an art student. Sowii

daveP:
all iz well! You're still in Nigeria?


Yeah ive dissected it halfway-quantum numbers. Tell me youre good in chemistry? Oya come and tutor me small.

4C2215131:


Does your firm have a policy with regard to "extra time"?. Again, you used the term "forced". Can you elucidate further with regrads to this. This is so I can advise you better.

He imposed it on me, its normally rotated within d team.But its originally his job.If u refuse to do it,its seen as insubordination,but its not under my job description

DieeDiee:


If it's nothing urgent you simply tell him you have plans, grab your bag and say bye - don't even give him a chance to say no. Or if it's not part of your job description you tell him. If he raises hell you remind him of your employment contract - that's why it's there. It states in black and white your duties and your work hours and that is all you are legally obliged to do outside those parameters, it's goodwill.

He imposed it on me, its normally rotated within d team.But its originally his job.If u refuse to do it,its seen as insubordination,but its not under my job description

Elesta:


He imposed it on me, its normally rotated within d team.But its originally his job.If u refuse to do it,its seen as insubordination,but its not under my job description

It really depends on your labour laws and how well they protect employees as well as your company policy then but if it's not in your contract or job description or it doesn't have bearing on your duties then you should be able to say no straight out. I've done it before and I said it to my company director, I even told him to watch me walk out. We both knew he couldn't force me to stay and if he tried to make my life miserable after that I would just take him to labour court but like I said it depends on your labour laws.

The only problem now is because you and your colleagues allowed it to happen if you turn back now you will seem like you are being difficult but you should still be within your legal rights to say no. Your manager is abusing his power. The second alternative is to lay complaint with HR if you have the department but I suggest you first talk to him in private and remind him it's not your job. If he becomes mean or is dismissive then take it to HR or his superior but bear in mind he'll probably hate you and try to get back at you.

DieeDiee:


It really depends on your labour laws and how well they protect employees as well as your company policy then but if it's not in your contract or job description or it doesn't have bearing on your duties then you should be able to say no straight out. I've done it before and I said it to my company director, I even told him to watch me walk out. We both knew he couldn't force me to stay and if he tried to make my life miserable after that I would just take him to labour court but like I said it depends on your labour laws.

The only problem now is because you and your colleagues allowed it to happen if you turn back now you will seem like you are being difficult but you should still be within your legal rights to say no. Your manager is abusing his power. The second alternative is to lay complaint with HR if you have the department but I suggest you first talk to him in private and remind him it's not your job. If he becomes mean or is dismissive then take it to HR or his superior but bear in mind he'll probably hate you and try to get back at you.

Mehhhn u are so on point,like u know exactly how d matter is. My colleagues accepted it because everyone is afraid of their job,because of the uncertainty of d job itself. It's not easy,thanks a lot for ur help

4C2215131:


With all due respect Madam, I take exception to your addressing me as possibly being "drunk". Maybe you meant it lightly, just irked me a bit as I don't hit my keyboard for the fun of it.. being overly lucid with respect to my earst.

I am very sorry it came across that way. Clearly a misunderstanding. That "drunk"comment was said lightheartedly.

No offence meant. Please dont take my comments that seriously.

Can we shake on it then ? Friends?

U ll find such a lady in d grave!

Chiadanin:


Thats' whats' up. Thank you. Yknow, I get that a lot even in person.

I do keep it real-

nice meeting you, cheers!

BellaBambina:
so while the supposed "wife material" is meant to posses these qualities, what qualities should the "ideal man" posses? Would he just sit around, feed fat and lord over a human being made by God? Most men are ridiculous, only a few are reasonable and matured! Funny enough, I ve realised that its poor, idle and jobless men (e-go-beta-committee) that cry and wail for respect and submission. A reasonable woman knows when she sees a man with self-confidence, discipline and maturity. Men are not to be worshipped, only God deserves worship. Men are mere mortals made by our Divine creator out of dust. Nobody goes to the beyond with wealth, respect and pride. We leave empty-handed, just like we were born same.
Stop living in lala-land Mr OP. Get real, it will do you a world of good.
Once a man plays his divinely ordained part well (the head of the home), a good woman knows how to reciprocate.
Men: the woman is not your servant even if you paid her bride price.
Women: no man is a pushover.
Everyone: Do unto others what you would prefer they do to you. Fear God!

Word!

bushdoc9919:


You don't want a wife, my good man, you want a goddess.

And there is no such thing as a human goddess.

Sorry.....but you will get the wife you need, not the wife of your dreams.

Modified

We all want perfect women(including yours truly....single male), but the issue is there is no such thing as the perfect woman. Human beings are too imperfect. We lie, we stink, we are lazy, we have weaknesses, and we have habits that disgust others.

But one thing I tell meself is that I hope that I am not too vacuous to settle down with a girl with the idea that she has to be perfect. Because when she turns out not to be perfect.....wahala dey.

As I said OP.....you do not want a wife....you want a human goddess. Unfortunately, they don't exist. So, while advising you not to search for second best., I advice you not to search for the Ideal....because the Ideal does not exist.

OP.....pray, and hope for a wife.....not a perfect being. Mankind and womankind are not perfect. (Unless you want to wait till the year 2700 ad.....when we would have beautiful and perfect androids....who will be tailor made for your every need.....at least till they break down ...or take over the world!).

Addition

OP....I presume you are a Christian....recall that you are going into marriage for servant-hood , not so that you can be served....in the same way that Christ served the Church by laying down His life for our eternal salvation.

I thank you.