My Mum was pregnant when she married my Dad and I hate to think that he probably married her because she was pregnant. I want someone to marry me because he loves me and wants to be with me for the rest of his life not because I'm pregnant. If you dig deep, most men who marry pregnant women do so just because she is pregnant not because they really want to marry her.

if two people were planning to get married, and get married earlier because the woman got pregnant, does that change things?

Na wa ooo. Only God knows the truth.
It seems 98% of the ladies in the house are virgins, 99.9% don't support pre-marital sex.
The Lord almighty knows our individual mind. For me, I had done it before and may likely do it again if I find a lady that I truly love and truly loves me in return.
If she gets pregnant before our wedding, fine and if she doesn't, still good, the most important thing is that we get married when we are ready for it.
Meanwhile, is not compulsory that my woman should be pregnant before marriage, afterall I am not getting married to her because of babies, if marriages are for making babies only, I would rather prefer not to marry. I would rather look for a beautiful lady to bear one for me and after 1 yr I pay her off.

allonym:

if two people were planning to get married, and get married earlier because the woman got pregnant, does that change things?

What if they weren't planning to get married before?

then that is your problem. I was just saying that there can be circumstances where a pregnacy forced a couple to get married, however, the pregnacy is not the reason they got married, it just reset their date.

Pregnancy before wedding should not be a prerequisite for Marriage. Only God that gives babies. What happened if after getting pregnant prior marriage and just after the wedding the woman lost the pregnancy and could no longer conceive again? Would the man abandoned her for not being able to bear children?

Yes O (Nigerian mentality)

...yawn

Yawn!!..........Indeed.

though i was pregnant when i got married,i do not agree with that skul of thot. i believe we should abstain. though it is difficult,the dividends are always better. do not get me wrong, i have no regrets marrying my husband,we're having a great time. but the truth needs to be said. men who want there fiancee to get pregnant before marriage are selfish.

i believe in getting married first before you get pregnant. that what i believe.

as this is a test for the man to know if the woman is fertile, also it's a test where a woman can be assured of the virility of the man. you see there's nothing worse than a marriage where there are issues like this: a sterile man or even worse impotent. but if we want to avoid these things why can't we just have medical tests for some check up.

It happens, but I personally think it's not right, especially in christianity.

Very well said IAH.

In our present day society, we have lost our intergrity, to cover up for that, we always insist that we "try it out" before buying. we run a pre-paid system in everything we do (TelePhone, school fees, petrol, supermarket, Cybercafe etc). That monster is now in the marriage institution.
why would you even think that having a baby before marriage (Pre-paid) will guaranty you a happy marriage?. dont be fooled. If he loves you as he claims he should be able to wait (Post-paid).

Word!

it seems to me that in the past, there was a lot more integrity on the part of the male in relationships with women. Since fertility was (still is) a major issue with Nigerians, the women getting pregant before marriage was probably a compromise that worked - however, it depended on the man ONLY taking the step to find out if the woman was fertile ONCE he had decided he would marry her if she was.

However, today's world is different. Not every guy has "pure" intentions and many women still hold on to past traditions or allow themselves to be fooled.

One of the strangest phrases I've heard people say - and so I assume they think it - is: "if me and person A are in love, then I don't have to worry about X". Sure, I understand you are in love, and you believe the other person is in love with you. Still, there are actions which should not be undertaken without fully considering all possible outcomes, no matter what the circumstance. Getting pregnant before getting married is one of them.

No man can try dt with me no pregnancy no married never, dt mean d only thing he want from me is kids or wht. Pregnancy is after married no premarital sex. only if I get pregnant unexpected and d more my guy is okay i will just go 4 d married plan., no need of abortion . the more his okay.

Only if d person is still in lover games don't play around

good question from angelaz.

realy depends on the kind of family you come from or should i say your back ground if u dont belive in sex before marrige you problaby wont be getting pregnant before marrige and the idea of making sure the woman gives birth before you marry her is really sick....... but hey u cant blame some guys afterall you see women who may have lost their womb going into marrige with out telling their husbands

Getting Pregnant before marriage is like giving a woman condition for the marraige. whereas Marriage is and should be founded on good intentions to live and to love because both wanted each other truly. If in the course of a relationship/preparation for marriage one gets pregnant,
it should be welcomed but not to be a condition for the marriage.

What if you get pregnant and after the marriage you have a miscarriage? Would the marriage end? No. What about the one that gets pregnant, delivers and the child dies? These are probable occcurences so a man shouldnt wait until the woman becomes pregnant before he marries her. plsssssss is wrong for the relationship.

Na wa o for this kain talk.

Recently i had that my younger brother (37yrs) just kicked out his fiancee because she did not get pregnant within the last 4months of 2005. They have been dating for 2 years and i guess they must have chopped the forbidden fruit.

Men, i was angry and called him in Lagos (Lagos boys are always trying to be smart) to rebuke him strongly. He totally refused to take the girl back. He said age is no more on his side and he couldn't afford to be messed arround for too long by the girl.

Another case is an older cousin of mine. Very rich guy who married a pretty lady from Ebute Metta. I remember that the wedding reception was held at the National Arts Thearter in Lagos. After a few months of marriage, it was discovered that the lady did not have a womb. My cousin was devastated and had to be coming to my house to cry everyday. Of course that marriage crashed and this my big cousin has not openned his heart to another woman since that time.

MAY GOD HELP ALL OF US.

what if the man is infertile. Then unless the woman sleeps with another man, or is artificially inseminated, she will not have a child, no matter how hard they try.

Pregnant before marriage? Ooops! what would the child refered to, Thats an illegitimate offspring of unmarried parents, Bastard?.

Get married and get pregnant!, not the other way round? or you dont believe in youself!

apparently its ok to be a bastard in nigeria, . or is it?

i think its absolutely irresponsible for any man to ask that a girl get pregnant before he marries her. so what if she doesn't get pregnant, does the love suddenly disappear?

[font=Lucida Sans Unicode]You guys have said it all. Don't know what to say again,
But i agree that there should not pregnancy before marriage, because it is a sin.[/font]
getting pregnant is not he sin, pre marital sex is

I think the topic is a 2 edged sword. But anyway, if u choose to look at it as wrong. What If the lady got pregnant before marriage, and after the wedding has a miscarriage, and after the miscarriage is finding it difficult to get pregnant? What will you think about that? :-

so?

My Mum was pregnant when she married my Dad and I hate to think that he probably married her because she was pregnant. I want someone to marry me because he loves me and wants to be with me for the rest of his life not because I'm pregnant. If you dig deep, most men who marry pregnant women do so just because she is pregnant not because they really want to marry her.

i totally agreee.

there are important issues to understand people, even if the wife gets pregnant and all that whats to say the kid wont die afetr they get married and they wont ever have any other child?! so what happens then? marriage must not ever be about having or not having children. children are a blessing no doubt. but not the focus of marriage.

Olu Abuja:

Na wa o for this kain talk.

Recently i had that my younger brother (37yrs) just kicked out his fiancee because she did not get pregnant within the last 4months of 2005. They have been dating for 2 years and i guess they must have chopped the forbidden fruit.

Men, i was angry and called him in Lagos (Lagos boys are always trying to be smart) to rebuke him strongly. He totally refused to take the girl back. He said age is no more on his side and he couldn't afford to be messed arround for too long by the girl.

Another case is an older cousin of mine. Very rich guy who married a pretty lady from Ebute Metta. I remember that the wedding reception was held at the National Arts Thearter in Lagos. After a few months of marriage, it was discovered that the lady did not have a womb. My cousin was devastated and had to be coming to my house to cry everyday. Of course that marriage crashed and this my big cousin has not openned his heart to another woman since that time.

MAY GOD HELP ALL OF US.

Olu thank God you are married o. If you are not, what would you have done? Gone with ur Jnr or what? This is really a case of confusion break bone.

As for me, no tasting o. There is nothing to taste. Do U all want to know what my lady used to say? "Dis thing is for you 4ever, so U've got to wait for the time you can have it all to urself!

If she can't get pregnant for me after then, I will leave everything to God.

A Pastor's wife was barren for over 10 years of marriage. I was in their church when she was encouraging other women with one problem or the other. That was November but just some few weeks, she was giving testimony of her taking in to the delight of everybody.

Been barren or infertile or sterile or whatever biological or scientific name you want, is not the end of the world.

some does like it,to get pregnanat frist

Na wa oh!

No she shouldn't.

No she shouldn't, but she could.

After all, she was not raped. The sex was done with consent of both parties,a nd aimed towards a goal. If not, they should have gone for the condom.

I know that some couples resort to pregnancy before marriage as the only way of getting the families to fully approve of their marriage. Works well with parents that ask for heaven and earth as bride price.

However, if pregnancy can be averted, then it sounds better. But I don't think it's a crime. Some men would not go to the altar unless the woman is confirmed pregnant (even though the church frowns at it).

No, I think a woman should get married BEFORE getting pregnant.