50 reasons why a woman really DOES need a man! The list by Jane Gordon, who is on her own
for the first time in 30 years, is irreverent, poignant and very funny... Jane once believed 'a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle' But living on her own has changed her mind Now found plenty of reasons why life is better with a man in the house

Like millions of young women today there was a
time when I was convinced that there was nothing
a man could do that I couldn't do better.
I even had a framed cartoon of Irina Dunn's
famous feminist phrase, 'A woman needs a man
like a fish needs a bicycle', hanging on my study
wall.

I might still hold such sexist views if, for the first
time in 30 years, I hadn't had to face the reality of
living without a man.
But I was wrong. Six months after moving —
alone — into an idyllic country cottage, I am
slowly coming to realise that there are, in fact,
plenty of things I need a man for. And no, not
that.
So, with apologies to Elizabeth Barrett Browning,
let me count the ways that this woman needs a
man.
1) To zip — and unzip — tricky party dresses.
2) It is a cliche for women to say that all their
husbands are good for is 'putting out the rubbish'
- but they've got a point. The combination of
wheelie bins and fortnightly collections means I
need a man to push my monstrous bin down the
gravel path to the road.
3) I have yet to hang a picture in my home. I
need a man who can work an electric drill and
knows what a rawlplug is.
4) I desperately need a man to hog my remote
control and stop me rotting my brain on reality
drivel such as The Real Housewives Of New
Jersey, Ladies Of London and Made In Chelsea.
5) I need a man to tell me what I want to hear
when I ask him, 'do I look good in this?' Even
when I know that the answer — 'gorgeous' — is a
total lie.
6) I need a man to change the halogen lights in
my bathroom where I have been showering by
torchlight for four weeks.

7) You tell me how a 5ft 5in, 8st woman is meant
to lug a 6ft Christmas tree home, stand the damn
thing up and then put a star on top? I need a man
for Christmas (but not necessarily for life).
It turns out I am the one who makes all the
mess, loses the keys and the mobile phone
charger. I need a man to blame.
9) I need a man to scratch that hard-to-reach
itchy spot in the middle of my back.
10) I need a man to watch horror films with me
and say (in the way I used to resent): 'Why are
you frightened? This rubbish is about as scary as
Scooby Doo.'

11) For walking the dog — in the rain.
12) For picking up dog poo — in any weather.
13) I need a man to explain to me what goes in
the green recycling wheelie, what can go in the
grey general waste wheelie, and what to put in the
small kerbside food- waste caddy.
14) It's always my turn to drive now. I need a
man to share the allocated driving duties.
15) Likewise, it's always me who has to fill up the
car with petrol.
16) I need a man to force me to open those nasty
brown envelopes and fill in my tax return.
17) I have spent the past fortnight making bacon
butties and brewing tea for my houseful of
builders. I need a man to say: 'Try the cafe up the
road', because I am too frightened to refuse them.
18) My new cottage is so dark outside at night
that last week coming home from a party
(completely sober) I fell, spraining my ankle. I
need a man with a torch to hold my hand and
walk me to my door.
19) All my life I have suffered from icy feet, and
hot-water bottles are hopeless because they are
cold at 3am when you need them the most. I
need a man to keep my feet warm at night (no
funny business, mind).
20) I love a log fire at Christmas but, no matter
how many firelighters I use, it smoulders and
goes out. I need a man to bring the wood in and
build a roaring fire every night.

21) Last month, I had to call out an emergency
plumber who charged me £100 for something I
always used to get done for free. I need a man
who knows his way around a ballcock (and to
deal with rip-off tradesmen).
22) At least three times a week my cat comes
through her flap with a live rodent in her mouth. I
need a man capable of putting said rodent out of
its — and my — misery and to take out all the
bodies.
23) After six months of manoeuvring my Fiat 500
down muddy country lanes it's now difficult to tell
what colour it is. I have a phobia about those
mechanical car-washes and I don't think you can
call out the AA to clean your car, so I need a man
to keep my white car white.
24) Every man I've ever known was convinced
women were incapable of loading a dishwasher
properly, something I didn't kick up a feminist
fuss about. Now I'm in charge it doesn't drain
properly and nothing comes out clean. I need a
man to take back control of the dishwasher.
25) I need a man with strong shoulders to cry on
and say 'it's only a film, the dog didn't really die,'
the next time I sob my heart out over Marley And
Me.
26) It took me six months to notice that I have a
giant loft big enough to take all that 'stuff' that I
put into storage when I moved. I need a strong
man (who'd have found it on day one) to fill the
loft and save me £150 a month.
27) Oh, how I miss being able to get all that
bitching and moaning off my chest, safe in the
knowledge that my ex isn't listening to a word I'm
saying. Yes, I need a man to NOT listen to me
(and talking to myself doesn't count).
28) I never buy socks for myself and on the few
occasions when I needed a pair I used to sneak
them from his drawers. I need a man to steal/
borrow socks from.
29) I need a man who knows the difference
between a Phillips and a Igbo screwdriver and
save me from self-assembly hell.
30) It is impossible to pull off wellies on your
own.

31) I need a man to carve the turkey and set light
to the Christmas pudding.
32) Recently my nephew gave me a lift to a family
party and I was really touched by the gallant way
that he rushed to open the passenger door for
me. I complimented him on his manners but he
laughed and explained that he had to open the
door from the outside because of child locks. I
need a man to remind me that the age of chivalry
really is dead (or prove it isn't).
33) I'd forgotten how many times I lied about my
ex being sick, ill or working late to get out of
doing things. I need a man as my excuse for not
going to Christmas drinks with the scary couple at
No 10.
34) Now I'm alone I have become worryingly
addicted to playing Candy Crush on my iPad. I
need a man who will make me delete the Candy
Crush app (or, better still, play it with me).
35) I need a man who knows which of the dozen
cables at the back of my TV he needs to fiddle
with when the 'no signal' message comes on
screen.
36) Now that I don't have to justify everything I
buy I am hugely overdrawn. I need a man to tell
me that 'clothes don't make the woman' and to
confiscate my credit card.
37) Despite my previous love of scented candles,
infusers and room sprays I now find them too
sickly sweet. I need a man to fill the house with
raw, woody — sometimes objectionable —
masculine odours that I didn't realise I would
miss.
38) My ex used to exasperate me by turning off
the lights. But now I no longer live in semi-
darkness and have to pay the huge EDF bill that
arrived today, I have to admit I need a man to go
round the house and turn off the lights.
39) Now I am living alone my bathroom is as
soulless as a hotel en suite. I need a man to
leave shaving foam over the mirror, toe-nail
clippings in the bath and the loo seat up.
40) With no male bathroom presence I can't
sneakily use his razor to shave my legs with and
have to remember to buy my own. I need a man
to put up with me blunting the blade of his
Gillette.

41) Living on my own has taken all the fun out of
food. I need a man to say 'what shall we have for
dinner tonight?' and to sit at the table with me
and talk and laugh.
42) I know it's pathetic but I can't face going to
the cinema alone and my female friends only want
to see romantic comedies. I need a man who
hates girlie movies to sit next to me in the
cinema.
43) The best part of going to a dinner party was
the wicked post-mortem that occurred in the car
on the way home. Now there is no 'best part'
because I leave alone.
Fiery debate on whether women need men
44) My new range oven has a 48-page 'quick-
start' manual that I can't decipher. I need a man
to explain in laywoman's language how to turn it
on.
45) My lack of spatial awareness has always been
a problem and resulted in several near-death
parking experiences. I need a man to guide me
into tight spots and push me out of ditches.
46) How am I going to toast New Year if I can't
budge a cork out of a champagne bottle without a
spanner? I need a man to get the cork out with
just his bare hands — and share a drink with me.
47) You hear some strange, scary noises in the
country at night. I need a man to calmly explain
that it's just the floorboards settling and not a
crazed axe man coming to kill me.
48) For ten days I have been suffering from a sore
throat and cold that has made me worry that it
might actually be terminal. I need a man to make
me Lemsip and tell me: 'Don't worry darling, it's
just woman-flu.'
49) We really are the weaker sex — and the
shorter one. I need a man with the strength to
open a jar of cranberry sauce with one hand and
the height to reach the top shelf in the kitchen
with the other.
50) And finally, I really need a man so that I can
seek his opinion on things — and then do the
exact opposite of what he says.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2878252/50-reasons-woman-really-DOES-need-man-list-Jane-Gordon-time-30-years-irreverent-poignant-funny.html

You need a Male Servant and not a man.

hii

50 too much na haba... Next thing we see.. 862 reasons why ladies shud remain single

50?

50 is too much.
The woman must be lazy!

50 is too small, why not make it 200?

make I die if I read all this finish

Make I hear say I read all these stuff!
















You for set mcq as you write am finish nah!

lafflaff123:
You need a Male Servant and not a man.

from what i'm seeing what she wants/needs is a man slave....and she is a very selfish person maybe that's why she is single. what kind of guy would want a lady like this one......

lafflaff123:
You need a Male Servant and not a man.

All she listed are what most husbands commonly do but not all in a day.

icedbeatz:


from what i'm seeing what she wants/needs is a man slave....and she is a very selfish person maybe that's why she is single. what kind of guy would want a lady like this one......

I think these are minor tasks and most wouldn't take time. If she needs a man to wash her dishes or sweep the house, then we may say she needs a house help.

for me i think there is just one reason to figure out here.. "And the lord God said, it is not good that the man should be alone; i will make him an help meet for him" Genesis 2:18