Hi, I'd like some advice please. I'm a unattractive middle aged white woman living in China. Since I've been here I've met MANY west African men and have dated a couple of Nigerian men. So far my experience with them is they are great talkers but basically can't be trusted to tell the truth about almost anything. My trouble is I'm very attracted to these men (who wouldn't be) but need to know are all Nigerian men like this or have I just been very unlucky?

Ozlove:

Hi, I'd like some advice please. I'm a unattractive middle aged white woman living in China. Since I've been here I've met MANY west African men and have dated a couple of Nigerian men. So far my experience with them is they are great talkers but basically can't be trusted to tell the truth about almost anything. My trouble is I'm very attracted to these men (who wouldn't be) but need to know are all Nigerian men like this or have I just been very unlucky?

What kind of question is that? Do you actually expect us to tell you ALL Nigerian men are dishonest? Maybe you are just attracted to the lowlives. I'd advise you to take a second look at yourself!!

My dear there are some good Nigerian men out there ^{they are rare but they are out there}. Maybe you are meeting the wrong men. Why emphasise your attractiveness? Seems like you have low self esteem hun, maybe you should work on that before entering a relationship

^^^ good point

I'm not highlighting my attractiveness, I'm being honest. I'm not good looking and these men are HOT! I'm not a fool and these guys seem to have all read the same play manual. You get almost the same lines out of all of them. Guess I just want to be reassured that I'm not fighting a losing battle. Even the men tell me themselves that you can't trust Nigerian men except for themselves of course.

My dear even we Nigerian women feel like they all have secret meeting where they meet and map out their game plan . Having said that, you say you feel its too good to be true and the old saying that says "if it feel too good to be true, it probably is" is right. A woman has great instincts and if you feel something is not right dont stay. You dont need a man to validate you or make you feel happy except of course you have self esteem issues.

if u in the men shoes will go for unattractive oyinbo woman that happen if the man is up to something let us be honest with ourselves

Ozlove:

Hi, I'd like some advice please. I'm a unattractive middle aged white woman living in China. Since I've been here I've met MANY west African men and have dated a couple of Nigerian men. So far my experience with them is they are great talkers but basically can't be trusted to tell the truth about almost anything. My trouble is I'm very attracted to these men (who wouldn't be) but need to know are all Nigerian men like this or have I just been very unlucky?

Ozlove:

I'm not highlighting my attractiveness, I'm being honest. I'm not good looking and these men are HOT! I'm not a fool and these guys seem to have all read the same play manual. You get almost the same lines out of all of them. Guess I just want to be reassured that I'm not fighting a losing battle. Even the men tell me themselves that you can't trust Nigerian men except for themselves of course.

you need to work on ur self esteem and insecurity. No one is unattractive and no one is Hot, . . . . . its a thing of the mind, individual choices and taste.
u are pretty in ur own way. and until u understand that u would always be a victim of men. . . . .nigerians or non-nigerians.

You're right. But until you've lived in China it's hard to understand. A woman has needs and I'm afraid I don't find Chinese men attractive and no white man will look at me when there's a billion gorgeous young Chinese girls to choose from. For me it's just an added bonus that Nigerian men are superb to look at and hook up with, I'm just trying to work out the emotional side of it.

I can see you judged by your looks just like you judge others! You love based on the colour of their skin! Or are you just settling for what you feel is only in your reach?

Ozlove:

You're right. But until you've lived in China it's hard to understand. A woman has needs and I'm afraid I don't find Chinese men attractive and no white man will look at me when there's a billion gorgeous young Chinese girls to choose from. For me it's just an added bonus that Nigerian men are superb to look at and hook up with, I'm just trying to work out the emotional side of it.

what type of a man do u want? . . . . .  .until u define what u want, u would always be a victim of someone else.

I don't care what colour people are, but come on, you know black people are the most attractive race in the world!

Ozlove:

I don't care what colour people are, but come on, you know black people are the most attractive race in the world!

thats ur opinion. I am attracted to a woman's brains and not her breast/arse. . . . that does not mean I check out their brains when I go clubbing.

My point is. . . . if u want a black guy, go for one. u are beautiful in ur own way, . . it takes a good search to find a good product. . .good luck.

I have no idea what game you ladies are talking about, i guess we guys are pretty much the same when we are players, as for me i'm just getting out of my shell, so i'm still a shy and sensitive person and a single 24yr old

Ujujoan:

I can see you judged by your looks just like you judge others! You love based on the colour of their skin! Or are you just settling for what you feel is only in your reach?

I think this might be the case in this scenario.

@POSTER.

Would you still date black guys if you were "attractive"

Absolutely. Everytime I see my current boyfriend without his clothes on, I forget all his shit. Most times he doesn't even have to go that far, just his smile has me going weak. What can I do?

MEN we are the same all over the world, just compare your native experience to the Nigeria experience and you will get what you are looking for.

Blapo, that's not true. My experiences with Australian men are nothing like my experiences with African men. Different cultures and up bringing make for very different people. Why do you think I'm here trying to understand better? Do you really think the average Aussie has any idea what it's like to grow up in Africa? I've been learning over the last few years from the African men I've dated, but I've still only seen the tip of the iceberg. The desperation to get something better for themselves and their families is not something you see a lot of in Aus. I want to improve my relationship, that's why I'm here.

I think I understand what you're getting at Ozlove, you could give me a call and we talk (no hidden agenda) and i'll help you understand more, i'm Seun or you call me Peter 08080588026

assobroker:

I think I understand what you're getting at Ozlove, you could give me a call and we talk (no hidden agenda) and i'll help you understand more, i'm Seun or you call me Peter 08080588026

Thanks sweetie, but the last thing I need is a 24 yo making my life more complicated. Besides, I live in China so it's too expensive to call.

thanks for noticing our sweet sometimes annoying naija men out there
there are still some well sugared loveable once out there
just know what exactly you want from them and what they want from you too
that way you will be able to differ the bad apple from the good once
BEST OF LUCK THO

Ozlove:

Thanks sweetie, but the last thing I need is a 24 yo making my life more complicated. Besides, I live in China so it's too expensive to call.

ozlove, better stop your rubbish

loleeta199:

ozlove, better stop your rubbish

What rubbish? I'm being honest. Didn't know that was rubbish.

@Ozlove

All I know is that Nigerian (lets say african) men endure more in relationship than other men of the world. Well, u may think u are unattractive, but if u were not attractive to them I don't think they would have asked you out, Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.

Now we're getting somewhere. What do u mean 'African men endure more in a relationship'? Please help me understand. This isn't about me and my self esteem, I just want to have a better understanding.

i think u should look for someone who loves you for who you are weather white or black

Nigerian (lets say african) men endure more in relationship than other men of the world

for where?

tpia,
Prove me wrong na

funsosweet:

@Ozlove

All I know is that Nigerian (lets say african) men endure more in relationship than other men of the world. Well, u may think u are unattractive, but if u were not attractive to them I don't think they would have asked you out, Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.

i laugh in spanish at the bolded words

yme,
If u feel otherwise, prove me wrong

funsosweet:

yme,
If u feel otherwise, prove me wrong

of course you and i know you are wrong

y me:

of course you and i know you are wrong

I still maintain my stand; I am not wrong. chikena!