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16 Lessons I Learnt After Losing My Virginity At 16 By Anna Kemarch - Romance - Nairaland

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16 Lessons I Learnt After Losing My Virginity At 16 By Anna Kemarch by makhez019(m): 10:34pm On Jan 01, 2015
“I am sixteen and have already lost my virginity. I truly regret that my first time was with a guy that I didn’t care that much about. Since that first night he expects sex on every date. When I don’t feel like it, we end up in an argument. I don’t think this guy is in love with me, and I know deep down that I am not in love with him either. This makes me feel cheap. I realize now that this is a very big step in a girl’s life. After you have done it, things are never the same. It changes everything.” Since then I have been involved with other guys and I have learnt a few of lessons. Here are a some:

1. Many teenage girls sleep with guys because they are trying to find love, to find self-worth. But the catch is that the more guys they sleep with, the less self-worth they had.

2. Many girls think that if they really care about guys, sex will bring them closer together. Indeed, sex creates a bond. However, 80 percent of the time, the physical intimacy of first sexual relationship won’t last more than six months.

3. Couples who want what is best for their relationship or future marriage will have the patience to wait.

4. Most of the time, when a girl gives away her virginity, she assumes the relationship will last forever.But study of more than 10,000 women shows that when a girl loses her virginity at that age at 14, she’ll probably have about thirteen more lifetime sexual partners.

5. Teen sex frequently causes tension within families because of the dishonesty that usually accompanies the hidden intimacies. Relationships with friends are often strained, and when things turn sour, the gossip and social problems often become unbearable.

6. Everyone talks about how hard it is to say no to sex, but no one tells you how hard it is when you say yes.

7. It is dangerous for a teenage girl to be sexually active. Because a teenage girl’s reproductive system is still immature, she is very susceptible to sexually transmitted diseases

8. In fact, early sexual activity is the number one risk factor for cervical cancer, and the second is multiple sexual partners. A girl’s body, like her heart, is not designed to handle multiple sexual partners.

9.While a girl might plan on sleeping with only one guy, she could be exposing herself to the STDs of hundreds of people through a single act of intercourse. Here’s how: Scientists studied the sexual activity of a public high school of about one thousand students. About half (573) of the students had been sexually active, and most of them had only been with one partner. However, when the scientists tracked the web of sexual activity among the students, it was discovered that more than half of the sexually active teens—without knowing it—were linked together in a network of 288 partners within the school! So if a girl slept with a guy from this school, theoretically she could be in bed with one-fourth of the entire student body.

10.The emotional side effects of premarital sex are also damaging to a young woman. One of the most common consequences of teenage sexual activity is depression. Girls who are sexually active are more than three times as likely to be depressed as girls who are abstinent. In fact, the condition has become so predictable that the American Journal of Preventive Medicine recommends to doctors: “[Girls who are engaging in] sexual intercourse should be screened for depression, and provided with anticipatory guidance about the mental health risks of these behaviors.”Even if a girl experiments with sex once, research shows an increased risk of depression. Also, consider the fact that the rate of suicide attempts for sexually active girls (aged twelve to sixteen) is six times higher than the rate for virgins. Tragically, these girls do not realize the purity, hope, and forgiveness that they can find in Christ.

11. Unfortunately, many young women search for meaning only in relationships with guys, instead of with God. It is not uncommon for a girl to have sex in order to make a guy like her more or to encourage him to stay with her. She may compromise her standards because she is afraid of never being loved. Once he leaves her, though, an emotional divorce takes place. A person’s heart is not made to be that close to a person and then separated.

12. Since teenage sexual relationships rarely last, the girl’s sense of self-worth is often damaged. She may conclude that if she looked better, he would have stayed longer. This mentality can lead to harmful practices, such as eating disorders. Or the disappointment she feels may drive her into a state of self-hatred. Some young women even begin to hurt their own bodies in an attempt to numb the emotional pain. Such practices never solve the problems, though. If she wants to be loved, she needs to begin by loving herself.

13. In her heart, a girl who has been used knows it. However, she may immediately jump into another sexual relationship to escape the hurt. If she tries to boost her self-esteem by giving guys what they want, then her self-worth often ends up depending upon those kinds of relationships. Her development as a woman is stunted because without chastity she does not know how to express affection, appreciation, or attraction for a guy without implying something sexual. She may even conclude that a guy does not love her unless he makes sexual advances toward her. She knows that sex exists without intimacy, but she may forget that intimacy can exist without sex. A girl on this track usually feels accepted initially, but that acceptance lasts only as long as the physical pleasure.

14. Such a lifestyle will also take its toll on her ability to bond. Here’s why: Sharing the gift of sex is like putting a piece of tape on another person’s arm. The first bond is strong, and it hurts to remove it. Shift the tape to another person’s arm, and the bond will still work, but it will be easier to remove. Each time this is done, part of each person remains with the tape. Soon it is easy to remove because the residue from the various arms interferes with the tape’s ability to stick.

15. The same is true in relationships, because neurologists have discovered that previous sexual experiences can interfere with one’s ability to bond with future partners. This does not mean that if a person is not a virgin on the wedding night, he or she will be unable to bond with a spouse. It simply means that when we follow God’s plan, we have the most abundant life possible. But when we turn from his designs and break his commandments, often we are the ones who feel broken afterward.

16 Spiritual. Sin cuts us off from God, and this is the most serious consequence of premarital sex. After going too far, many of us know all too well the cloud of guilt that weighs on our hearts. The solution is not to kill our conscience but to follow it to freedom. It is calling us, not condemning us. Provided we repent, God will be there to welcome us home and let us start over (see John 8 and Luke 15).

What this all means is that our bodies, our hearts, our relationships, and our souls are not made for premarital sex. We are made for enduring love

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Re: 16 Lessons I Learnt After Losing My Virginity At 16 By Anna Kemarch by DahtzFestjayz: 10:43pm On Jan 01, 2015
Informative piece. Thanks Op for bringing up here. FTP pls

1 Like

Re: 16 Lessons I Learnt After Losing My Virginity At 16 By Anna Kemarch by Jboy8844(m): 10:45pm On Jan 01, 2015
This is suppose to be posted by a lady!

1 Like

Re: 16 Lessons I Learnt After Losing My Virginity At 16 By Anna Kemarch by Dammytrager(m): 10:45pm On Jan 01, 2015
Nice write up, waiting for the disflowered girls to come and comment grin
Re: 16 Lessons I Learnt After Losing My Virginity At 16 By Anna Kemarch by yorex2011: 11:08pm On Jan 01, 2015
Very nicely said
Re: 16 Lessons I Learnt After Losing My Virginity At 16 By Anna Kemarch by missdebs(f): 12:26am On Jan 02, 2015
Jboy8844:
This is suppose to be posted by a lady!
shey guys cant like to be virgins again ni....nice piece @ op
Re: 16 Lessons I Learnt After Losing My Virginity At 16 By Anna Kemarch by Taleeysun(f): 1:03am On Jan 02, 2015
Re: 16 Lessons I Learnt After Losing My Virginity At 16 By Anna Kemarch by Nastydroid(m): 1:24am On Jan 02, 2015
I smell fp
Re: 16 Lessons I Learnt After Losing My Virginity At 16 By Anna Kemarch by Preciouswesley(m): 2:38am On Jan 02, 2015
Virginity is a virtue joor.. 1 dat dose dat still are,shud hold on to.. #teamplatonicrelationshiptillmarriage
Re: 16 Lessons I Learnt After Losing My Virginity At 16 By Anna Kemarch by Medunah: 3:26am On Jan 02, 2015
Well said
Re: 16 Lessons I Learnt After Losing My Virginity At 16 By Anna Kemarch by Nobody: 3:27am On Jan 02, 2015
cool to be one 23.....virginity is cool
Re: 16 Lessons I Learnt After Losing My Virginity At 16 By Anna Kemarch by Awho(m): 4:12am On Jan 02, 2015
missdebs:
shey guys cant like to be virgins again ni....nice piece @ op

lol..
Re: 16 Lessons I Learnt After Losing My Virginity At 16 By Anna Kemarch by Maxcollins042(m): 5:35am On Jan 02, 2015
Hmmm.....so una later carry this una virginity topic enter 2015,more grease on una phalenges
Re: 16 Lessons I Learnt After Losing My Virginity At 16 By Anna Kemarch by tuoyoojo(m): 6:17am On Jan 02, 2015
One of the best write ups I have seen. A lot of teenage premarital sex is borne out of low self esteem and a desire to feel "among".

the media hasn't helped at all cuz if u watch most of our musically video, whether overtly or covertly,sex is the main theme.

They glorify sex n make it seem as though if u aint having sex, den u r doomed!

3 Likes

Re: 16 Lessons I Learnt After Losing My Virginity At 16 By Anna Kemarch by Nobody: 6:39am On Jan 02, 2015
Very informative..

The way these teenagers sleep about is worrisome.

I was surprised when. I heard JSS 2 students discussing about boyfriends. I was like WTF,I punished them that day. the guys that hunt underage should be castrated.

If only they know,and learn this.
Re: 16 Lessons I Learnt After Losing My Virginity At 16 By Anna Kemarch by Haywhymido(m): 7:04am On Jan 02, 2015
Dis relationship tin i tire o. Wetin jss students knw abt love? Dat is gross infatuation
Re: 16 Lessons I Learnt After Losing My Virginity At 16 By Anna Kemarch by harrwix(m): 7:44am On Jan 02, 2015
interesting
Re: 16 Lessons I Learnt After Losing My Virginity At 16 By Anna Kemarch by vizier007(m): 7:59am On Jan 02, 2015
its human nature, girls just need the right guidance and the right set of people during their teenage years..
Re: 16 Lessons I Learnt After Losing My Virginity At 16 By Anna Kemarch by Rexphobia(m): 8:03am On Jan 02, 2015
Virginity is like your HIV status, it's you business. What's my own with ur Virginity bs?
Re: 16 Lessons I Learnt After Losing My Virginity At 16 By Anna Kemarch by didactic70: 8:06am On Jan 02, 2015
Virginity is a virtue that should be kept whether male or female.We are better off with it until maturity.
Re: 16 Lessons I Learnt After Losing My Virginity At 16 By Anna Kemarch by rsleeky(f): 8:12am On Jan 02, 2015
Nice write-up......tanks for d post....love stuffs like dis....I hope sm peeps learn from this
Re: 16 Lessons I Learnt After Losing My Virginity At 16 By Anna Kemarch by dechandel(f): 8:18am On Jan 02, 2015
The most painful part is the fake "i love you" after the whole sh*t
Being young n naive, the girl will be too weak to act on her convictions.
And the cherry keeps popping. And then you realise after a very long time. That guys are wicked.. Who send you message??
Re: 16 Lessons I Learnt After Losing My Virginity At 16 By Anna Kemarch by winner95(m): 8:32am On Jan 02, 2015
Very interesting. . I love the write-ups. @ least we can boast of someone who truly confessed her flaws in the process of trying to save others!
Nice job....
Re: 16 Lessons I Learnt After Losing My Virginity At 16 By Anna Kemarch by crudemoney: 8:34am On Jan 02, 2015
this z nice











I just wish it ll make first page
Re: 16 Lessons I Learnt After Losing My Virginity At 16 By Anna Kemarch by Deshannel(m): 8:49am On Jan 02, 2015
dechandel:
The most painful part is the fake "i love you" after the whole sh*t
Being young n naive, the girl will be too weak to act on her convictions.
And the cherry keeps popping. And then you realise after a very long time. That guys are wicked.. Who send you message??

Don't blame the guys for satisfying the cherry owners curiosity.
Re: 16 Lessons I Learnt After Losing My Virginity At 16 By Anna Kemarch by dechandel(f): 8:52am On Jan 02, 2015
Deshannel:


Don't blame the guys for satisfying the cherry owners curiosity.
Hence my last question tongue
Re: 16 Lessons I Learnt After Losing My Virginity At 16 By Anna Kemarch by PHAYOL81: 8:54am On Jan 02, 2015
Yt there will still b sombdy who's hopng his gal doesnt c diz because of d sex benefits he gets.SINS R MADE PRECIOUS IN D SIGHT OF D DOER SO HE MIGHT CONTINUE ON D TREND TILL DISTRUCTN VISIT.#Dats Satan 4 U#
Hope sombdy learns anyway.
Re: 16 Lessons I Learnt After Losing My Virginity At 16 By Anna Kemarch by Kylekent59: 9:28am On Jan 02, 2015
Am a virgin when it comes to anus
wow!!! Hit like if u are d same
Re: 16 Lessons I Learnt After Losing My Virginity At 16 By Anna Kemarch by Kenneth205(m): 9:50am On Jan 02, 2015
Nice
Re: 16 Lessons I Learnt After Losing My Virginity At 16 By Anna Kemarch by naijaboiy: 9:51am On Jan 02, 2015
LoL,,i won't pretend
Re: 16 Lessons I Learnt After Losing My Virginity At 16 By Anna Kemarch by Mercykayy(m): 9:51am On Jan 02, 2015
I
Re: 16 Lessons I Learnt After Losing My Virginity At 16 By Anna Kemarch by siegfried99(m): 10:09am On Jan 02, 2015
Hmmm tongue

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