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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Deceived Into Marriage, Used And Dumped (44021 Views)
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Re: Deceived Into Marriage, Used And Dumped by Nobody: 7:18pm On Jan 02, 2015 |
devour129:its of no use to be insultive. Your advice is a very good one and for the fact i said she pitied the man does not mean am in support of that. like i stated earlier she made some mistakes too. |
Re: Deceived Into Marriage, Used And Dumped by Nobody: 7:20pm On Jan 02, 2015 |
You are just the best carefreewannabe,theres nothing bad the lady has done,the man only lied to her,deceived her and reck her emotionally,i married a divorcee too and i dnt even request for divorced certificate that nairalanders are crucifying her for,am enjoying my marriage as if the man never married before,so people should just stop abusing her,counsel her and pray for a better future for her. carefreewannabe: 1 Like |
Re: Deceived Into Marriage, Used And Dumped by mechanics(m): 7:20pm On Jan 02, 2015 |
Ishilove:wow, dats a painful experience, u made a big mistake by nt asking more information abt ur husband in his place of wrk, dats why its adviceable b4 we get married dat we need to knw more abt d would be partner, my advice 4 u is to pray to God 4 someone dat wil marry u, but to me u made a big mistake mayb u tot dat he's a comfortable man u went ahead, i guess u ave even met guys dat came ur path n u ignore dem, why did u nt seek ur pastor's advice b4 venturing into dat relationship, d deed has been done so u ave to pick up d pieces of ur life afresh, just turn to God n He wil see u thru. |
Re: Deceived Into Marriage, Used And Dumped by Nobody: 7:21pm On Jan 02, 2015 |
devour129:its of no use to be insultive. Your advice is a very good one and for the fact i said she pitied the man doesn't mean am in support of that. like i stated earlier she made some mistakes too. Marriage should be based on love and not pity,i know that well. |
Re: Deceived Into Marriage, Used And Dumped by Fourwinds: 7:21pm On Jan 02, 2015 |
nebukadnezzari:i always tell girls to trend softly because dis greed dey have can put dem into a poo |
Re: Deceived Into Marriage, Used And Dumped by eneres: 7:23pm On Jan 02, 2015 |
jaybee3:harsh but true. The truth is always bitter. |
Re: Deceived Into Marriage, Used And Dumped by Fourwinds: 7:26pm On Jan 02, 2015 |
byvan:female beings be contented and peace. Che!! What about dat single bobo wel dey toast u, u know fast forward he own but na anoda person owe u fast forward. |
Re: Deceived Into Marriage, Used And Dumped by Fourwinds: 7:33pm On Jan 02, 2015 |
Amjustme:Abeg no vex say she shiit for church. She is asking for how to clean d pooo |
Re: Deceived Into Marriage, Used And Dumped by Ezemu(m): 7:34pm On Jan 02, 2015 |
You are partially to blame. You should have done your homework. 1 Like |
Re: Deceived Into Marriage, Used And Dumped by Homguy(m): 7:34pm On Jan 02, 2015 |
reminds me of my ex girl friend. she told me a friend she met a month ago just proposed to her over WhatsApp, he's based in the USA, married with two kids but told her he got divorced recently, hence his proposal. they had been chatting every single day or so,she said.. I asked her what her reply to him was ,and she said, she was offended he proposed to her on WhatsApp and she tried to preach to convince him that divorce was not good. I was flabbergasted. I asked her if she told him she was in a serious relationship, but she said no. why? she said "I will tell him at the right time". I was agitated. fast forwards, 2 days later my girl friend called me,sent me a long bbm message that she'd given her life to Christ and hence was calling off our relationship. I was like, how do they relate? she said she felt it in her spirit. I let go. I hope she doesn't fall for the same age old card married men play to lay single desperate ladies. need I mention she is 25 ,pushing 26. from my experience, I dont feel pity for her. she probably left a young guy to marry him then. or was she single through those years? the women folk they'll never learn. 3 Likes |
Re: Deceived Into Marriage, Used And Dumped by aspirebig: 7:38pm On Jan 02, 2015 |
It sounds like a home video story. Guy,babes,love is not blind o. Before you marry,don't rush ooo,do your background checks very well,pray very well. Try to know the real members of the family you are going into,do small history checks. |
Re: Deceived Into Marriage, Used And Dumped by chibanj(m): 7:38pm On Jan 02, 2015 |
U girls deserve it most times. If dis mata is bin investigated u will find out dat u abandoned ur loving boy friend to follow dis idiotic man, now ur paying 4 it. 1 Like |
Re: Deceived Into Marriage, Used And Dumped by Fourwinds: 7:41pm On Jan 02, 2015 |
Wendy80:eyaaa. Dats one of d blind girls wen make guys dey abuse girls. Even ur advice no change am. A dog dat is going to perish will never hear d whistle of d owner 1 Like |
Re: Deceived Into Marriage, Used And Dumped by Nobody: 7:42pm On Jan 02, 2015 |
there is more to this story, I don't belief they even wed, maybe they just collabo. |
Re: Deceived Into Marriage, Used And Dumped by Fourwinds: 7:48pm On Jan 02, 2015 |
sholikay:yes true. She is reaping hers now because she coverted anoda woman's husband but d man's harvest is also coming |
Re: Deceived Into Marriage, Used And Dumped by easy4beno(m): 7:49pm On Jan 02, 2015 |
abbey621: Bro..I understand your points clearly and I think the way forward is what should be suggested to her, as I did on the page 4 of this thread.. and still to me your claims are not logical enough..reasons below..: 1. So does it mean that she should be the one to fall into such trap of being deceived? If she had said no I'm sure she would have saved her head and be happier today, every woman should wise up..if she was wise enough she wouldn't have fallen for that bait..its very simple..he's married, don't go near married men..this is the kind of result you may end up getting.. 2. You need to re-read the story all over again..she only did her IT for few weeks at the man's or boss's office..and they grew close which is normal..and immediately after completing the IT..she left..and they met again somehow..to tell you he didn't use any form of office threat or force on her.. 3. Well being a friend, developing feelings and going into marriage are different things, what you should understand is that life is too delicate to pity someone for marriage..enough with sentiments..to me that's doing things for the very wrong reason and we both know that once the foundation is destroyed..there's apparently nothing anybody can do about it.. 1 Like |
Re: Deceived Into Marriage, Used And Dumped by baby124: 7:52pm On Jan 02, 2015 |
Nollywood story. However I will say make sure you use all your power to fight for a good life for your kids, if this story is true. He obviously does not care about you so don't even bother about that aspect. Take your family to his family and come to an agreement of a suitable upkeep he must pay plus being there in his kids life. He's a sick man at 50 to pull such stunts. Make sure your kids do not lose out. And then move on with your life. I think though that you conveniently refused to ask questions so that you do not lose him. Did you never meet his family, go to his house? Spend nights with him at home? Go to his place of work? Opening your eyes wide and asking questions does not make you a bad woman or un-marriageable. It just makes you a wise and cautious one. Funny that you could actually be the one with his biological kids. Maybe him and wifey are unsuitable biologically or she played away out of desperation. It could also be they went fetish or God punished them for impatience |
Re: Deceived Into Marriage, Used And Dumped by iampartyboy(m): 7:53pm On Jan 02, 2015 |
Ishilove: KAI, u too dey watch naija film 1 Like |
Re: Deceived Into Marriage, Used And Dumped by Ishilove: 7:56pm On Jan 02, 2015 |
iampartyboy: |
Re: Deceived Into Marriage, Used And Dumped by abbey621(m): 7:58pm On Jan 02, 2015 |
easy4beno: If human beings were perfect we wouldn't have any problems would we? Based on my own personal experiences, I know that matters of the heart can be very tricky, no one is perfect. Anyone could fall into similar circumstances so I suggest not blaming her too much. Yes you are right she needs a solution not more people antagonizing her. 1 Like |
Re: Deceived Into Marriage, Used And Dumped by Lekerhymes(m): 8:00pm On Jan 02, 2015 |
Ishilove:You have been watching yoruba movies all your life I swear. |
Re: Deceived Into Marriage, Used And Dumped by iampartyboy(m): 8:00pm On Jan 02, 2015 |
Ishilove: Wait!!! u nor get boyfriend before u meet d oga boss? Why u break up with your bf kuz say u see oga wey hold bar? chaiii, naija babe's una with una chicken brain *sips my bullet* |
Re: Deceived Into Marriage, Used And Dumped by Fourwinds: 8:09pm On Jan 02, 2015 |
abbey621:as much as we were not dere u inclusive. She did her IT dere. Do u know whether d Slot for IT was given as favour for marriage? Even with d status of d man? I once asked a girl out, do u know what she told me? Dat anyone dat guarantee her placement for IT she will date d person. I asked her several questions concerning her reasoning. She kept insisting on dat conditions. Now supposing i have such power to fix her up. What do think will be happening. U cannt defend d actions of girls sometimes because d way dey act keep u wondering |
Re: Deceived Into Marriage, Used And Dumped by abbey621(m): 8:16pm On Jan 02, 2015 |
Fourwinds: The bolded statement does not make sense to me. If you read the description well, the guy was married when they met and she only did her I.T there for a few weeks. You can't blame someone based on assumptions, like you said we were not there so anybody condemning her should keep quiet! 1 Like |
Re: Deceived Into Marriage, Used And Dumped by Fourwinds: 8:20pm On Jan 02, 2015 |
dondiggy:once d money is coming she sees nothing wrong and d man dey chop her pkekus too. 1 Like |
Re: Deceived Into Marriage, Used And Dumped by Fourwinds: 8:26pm On Jan 02, 2015 |
abbey621:fine knowing dat he is married is enough to keep her distance. Is she a divorce'. So y going for divorcee. As a Christian, it is forbidden to marry a man or a woman whose partner is still alive. Can u see y marriages should be taken seriously. It is not four years course or part-time job |
Re: Deceived Into Marriage, Used And Dumped by Drone007: 8:29pm On Jan 02, 2015 |
MizMyColi: Good writing. One of the best I've seen on Nairaland. Smart analysis, too. Kudos! 2 Likes |
Re: Deceived Into Marriage, Used And Dumped by abbey621(m): 8:31pm On Jan 02, 2015 |
Fourwinds: Please try to think before you write, I know you are intelligent enough to know that not everybody is a Christian. Furthermore she did not date him while he was married, they met after one year and he told her that he was now single, he confided in her that he was having marital problems and his wife wanted a separation, so it is very believable, he even went thru the process of involving his family, so a normal woman has no reason to doubt. Please try not to criticize without first examining all the points! |
Re: Deceived Into Marriage, Used And Dumped by ImpactWorld(m): 8:38pm On Jan 02, 2015 |
@ those of you saying the lady did no wrong, I disagree. And no, this is not a blame game ;but then it is stated so that others can learn. Here are my deductions: 1. She hasn't told the whole truth. Like someone pointed out, she coveted the man and didn't ask questions because she wanted him-he was her boss and he was rich. They probably didn't do an "open" marriage. 2. She was close to her boss who was married (and rich) during her IT. I believe they were involved in some way during that period (see 1 above). 3.He was married for 10 years. Lack of children is not enough reason to leave his wife. So technically, she found it okay for the man to leave his wife. Now, what makes her think they will have children together? Same as above. 4. If the whole story is told, I believe she actually "worked hard" to put herself in the man's life, what some call "snatching" him from his wife. So, in summary, she coveted another woman's husband and was blinded by his wealth. But then, I might be wrong... 1 Like |
Re: Deceived Into Marriage, Used And Dumped by Fourwinds: 8:38pm On Jan 02, 2015 |
carefreewannabe:so d prophet dat told King David how he snatched his subordinate's wife(bathsabad), God will punish him rite. Or John the Baptist who told King Herod what he did by taking anoda man's wife is judging Herod rite and God will punish John the Baptist for saying it out. Is dat what u are saying 1 Like |
Re: Deceived Into Marriage, Used And Dumped by emiye(m): 8:41pm On Jan 02, 2015 |
Abegiiiii, Olojukokoro !! 1 Like |
Re: Deceived Into Marriage, Used And Dumped by theunusualmoon(m): 8:47pm On Jan 02, 2015 |
He is about 50......you are about 30........you met him 8 yrs ago(you were 22). And somehow the only man you ended up falling in love with was not that guy in final year in your department(you were on IT.weren't you) You also didnt fall in love with that 27 yr old guy that was still working as a teacher pending the time he gets a good job neither did you fall in love with a job seeker but you fell in love with your boss who is about 20 yrs older than you, has a good car, a good apartment and as at that time could have been taken for an impotent man . Sorry DEAR. 2 Likes |
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