aisha2:


Shitty advice, even if you commit suicide he has already married her. Dont make any desperate move to keep him he is not a pigeon he is a human with a brain and should know right and wrong he chose wrong

smartigo:



I don't think this is fair and right to the father of her child. She will only become a depository for hatred. Lady, learn to forgive.

Findingtruth,you have d option to divorce him, sue him or stay and make him responsible for your unborn child. The choice is yours.

In life, when faced with worse situations, rash decisions are inimical in the long run. God give u the wisdom.

freecocoa:
What are you talking about? So you'd be comfortable to allow someone as evil as this man raise your child? What do you think he would instill in that child?

sawyersam:
@op. First I think you need to move out of that house before he harms you seeing u already know the truth. After having your baby, get a lawyer to file a divorce for you. HE IS WICKED!!!!

IDEApro:


I emerge from reality. The truth is always bitter and leaves a sour disposition but it is good to humanity it is told.

The reason for African wives by our brothers in diaspora is to have home kids they will fall back to and not necessarily marrying them for love.

Joel3:
na person livelyhood una just dey spoil so.

ShIo? Most people here will do worst. Coming to public to shout one thing one thing. one will wonder the type of comment here and believe nigerians are good people. How come will have 90 % corrupt and bad people? fake internet life.

At the poster,

take health. Now you find out the truth yourself. You knw what best and good for you to do. But beware of pms. I knw nigerians will want to send you pms. But don't replied anyone outside here.


At to the mod. Do not put this on the front page. It will only result to more complicating issue and childish.

You knw what she is already going through now with the comment she read here.

profGinger:
Some pple re just adding up to murder this relationship.

findingtruth:
Hello all
I am new here and in need of some good advice. In nov 2013 i married my Nigerian husband (i am American). I have been very good to him and given him anything he has needed to survive and prosper. Saying i love him dearly is an understatement. As i love my husband as if he were part of me. We have had some issues mostly because of cultural differences.
I financially supported him for 8 months while his paperwork was processing to allow him to work here in the USA. Eventually his paperwork went through. He obtained employment but just 3 weeks later quit his job to return to Nigeria for his sister's wedding. I agreed to this because i understood the importance it had and i understood that his father was deceased and he is the oldest son. I understood there was a role he needed to fulfill to his family. I didn't like the idea that after months of assuming complete financially responsibility for our home i would have to continue longer nor the idea of him leaving for 3 weeks but i supported not just our bills but helped him finance his trip.
His trip almost destroyed our marriage as many things went wrong while he was gone. I had reached a point i had considered divorcing him but then i found out i am pregnant. He came back home and our life has went on.
Now 5 months later i found pictures of him and a woman. The comments told me they were getting married. Now i know for sure his sister got married when he traveled and i know for sure these pictures are him.
I have confronted and he has explained that he didn't marry the girl but only done an introduction thing to be able to pass from a boy to a man. However i found these pictures on Facebook from the girls page. Many things he is saying don't add up to the details of the pictures and situation but at the same time because of culture differences i know that there could be things i simply don't understand.
For days i have not slept ate worked nothing. The photos shocked me and upset me enough to go into preterm labor but fortunately i was given medication that has stopped labor for now. But this issue is driving me mad as i can't understand it. I don't know what to believe or who to believe. I have looked at my options and i can either divorce him or remain married. Either way if he didn't marry her or did he has cheated and defiled our marriage.
What do i do? How do i know what's true? How can i can restore peace of mind and happiness? How do i find truth? How do i know if he married her?

findingtruth:
I am not real close to his family mostly due to distant. However he had introduced me to all of his family via skype and his sister that does live here we have a relationship.
He is from edo... Benin city
Yes he works but i am unsure if he has sent money home but i know he has not for sure for a couple months as i hold his bank card.
But in the pictures people were congratulating and blessing the marriage. His reason for this is because they assumed they would marry.
He has offered to cut all communication with all friends and family except his mother if i will not divorce him. He has called his mother over this issue in front of me. She wanted to speak to me but i refused to because well what woman calls themselves a Christian and praises god but then assists in something like this? But i could hear her say she is not your wife.
He also called the girl in front of me and wanted to know why she would use his last name and post the pictures. He offered me to speak with her but i figured for what i can't prove that's who was even on the phone....

findingtruth:
I am not real close to his family mostly due to distant. However he had introduced me to all of his family via skype and his sister that does live here we have a relationship.
He is from edo... Benin city
Yes he works but i am unsure if he has sent money home but i know he has not for sure for a couple months as i hold his bank card.
But in the pictures people were congratulating and blessing the marriage. His reason for this is because they assumed they would marry.
He has offered to cut all communication with all friends and family except his mother if i will not divorce him. He has called his mother over this issue in front of me. She wanted to speak to me but i refused to because well what woman calls themselves a Christian and praises god but then assists in something like this? But i could hear her say she is not your wife.
He also called the girl in front of me and wanted to know why she would use his last name and post the pictures. He offered me to speak with her but i figured for what i can't prove that's who was even on the phone....

findingtruth:
I sincerely appreciate the advice. I am not quit sure what to say as i was hoping that some how there would be truth for what he was telling me.

mutter:
finding the truth -

The whole truth is that you met a man that was in a difficult condition. He came to America to fend for himself and his family. This man was in love with a woman and promised her to come back and marry him one day. You do not even know that in some cases the women save up to help the man go. They say no to other suitors waiting waiting for their loved ones.
Then what did you do?
You say you loved him yet you took advantage of his situation, because you knew you had very strong bargaining power.
...and you thus gave him that condition to leave the girl.
Ask yourself the truth COULD you have done that with a guy that had his papers wit such confidence NO!
Then after you agreed that he should let it sizzle off- YOU CALLED THE GIRL! and told her you were the wife. DO you think an african woman feels no love and no pain. Do you know if the woman has had a child for him.

If you want to be fair and tell the truth. You went into a party expecting that the other woman must give way because you have the American power. Is that Love.
Please seen too much of this.
Not to worry African men can be polygamous and so you can share him, there is no problem if you love him.
Congratulations on the baby and the best of luck.
The man is nothing so good looking and has such a big fishing net.

mutter:
finding the truth -

The whole truth is that you met a man that was in a difficult condition. He came to America to fend for himself and his family. This man was in love with a woman and promised her to come back and marry him one day. You do not even know that in some cases the women save up to help the man go. They say no to other suitors waiting waiting for their loved ones.
Then what did you do?
You say you loved him yet you took advantage of his situation, because you knew you had very strong bargaining power.
...and you thus gave him that condition to leave the girl.
Ask yourself the truth COULD you have done that with a guy that had his papers wit such confidence NO!
Then after you agreed that he should let it sizzle off- YOU CALLED THE GIRL! and told her you were the wife. DO you think an african woman feels no love and no pain. Do you know if the woman has had a child for him.

If you want to be fair and tell the truth. You went into a party expecting that the other woman must give way because you have the American power. Is that Love.
Please seen too much of this.
Not to worry African men can be polygamous and so you can share him, there is no problem if you love him.
Congratulations on the baby and the best of luck.
The man is nothing so good looking and has such a big fishing net.

mutter:
finding the truth -

The whole truth is that you met a man that was in a difficult condition. He came to America to fend for himself and his family. This man was in love with a woman and promised her to come back and marry him one day. You do not even know that in some cases the women save up to help the man go. They say no to other suitors waiting waiting for their loved ones.
Then what did you do?
You say you loved him yet you took advantage of his situation, because you knew you had very strong bargaining power.
...and you thus gave him that condition to leave the girl.
Ask yourself the truth COULD you have done that with a guy that had his papers wit such confidence NO!
Then after you agreed that he should let it sizzle off- YOU CALLED THE GIRL! and told her you were the wife. DO you think an african woman feels no love and no pain. Do you know if the woman has had a child for him.

If you want to be fair and tell the truth. You went into a party expecting that the other woman must give way because you have the American power. Is that Love.
Please seen too much of this.
Not to worry African men can be polygamous and so you can share him, there is no problem if you love him.
Congratulations on the baby and the best of luck.
The man is nothing so good looking and has such a big fishing net.

BluIvy:


As passed off as I am having been close to someone who almost experienced the same thing, I believe this reply comes from Esther or the guy sister. If its Esther she is sharing her own side of the story and her pain.

BUT, why would anyone work hard fund a man to go to destroy another woman's life for her own survival and still cry victim?

You are a wicked soul woman. May all that is coming to you keep you up all night till it reaches you.

Blood sucking monster! You do not care even if heart ache kills this woman and her unborn child? Bloody vampires!

findingtruth:
Are these actual wedding photos or an introduction

goofyone:
Let's take it the story is true, but the advice on here are just plain damning. Even though the poster is trying to be careful and calculated about all of this while still trying to get herself together, everyone just seems to be on about revenge. "Divorce his sorry a.s.ss", "report to the authorities", "make him pay!!". You can almost hear them screaming at the other end, like they'd really just give up someone they've "accidentally" fallen in love with.
Take it easy peeps. The poster is all emotional and needs some sane advice.

Otuabaroku:



^ You may not understand actions perpetrated by people like this do to genuine good Nigerians. This is one of the reason some took it personal on what he did.

Again any person with a little conscience will be very appalled by this action irrespective of nationality.
In short this action is evil, wicked and callous to the highest degree.

goofyone:


I understand your point. However, those who comment here would probably do less if in the OP's shoes. It'd have been much better if their advice took my realistic turns, something the OP can actually use. No doubt, we are appalled by this and so would any sane person, Nigerian or not. At the same time, encouraging the OP to go for the guy's jugular can't really help her emotions right now. Besides, isn't a kid involved already?

BluIvy:


Rubbish what's left for the OP to do in this situation? Lace his food with poison? Why cry out when people give the realistic and justified divorce advice?

Or what's your advice? She must stay with him continue to support him?

1. after chucking away a hard earned job,
2. conned the woman to give him more financial assistance after she had fed him for all this time
3. Used the money to marry another woman inflicting unimaginable pain on his ATM wife?
4. Continue to lie about taking this woman for a fool?

This could only mean one thing, the guy is not done until he extracts every penny and cents from this woman. Talk about paying for your own destruction and road to hell.

Now please tell us what exactly should people here be saying to this woman? Prolong her pain by saying he is your baby daddy? When clearly daddy doesn't give two F***cks about the baby or the woman. Daddy is only looking out for number one, himself.

Please this guys family is already helping to prolong this woman's pain, no one here is willing to do the same.