Naijasinglegirl:
I can do better? Hello? When did you hire me to become your online clown?

God bless u oo NSG! If u no get d joke y not S*T*F*U?

Naijasinglegirl:
who says no to free drinks? Not me biko

you must be labelled most wanted,do u know the number of charges that cold be levied against you?
Illegal possession of officers quarter keys
2 falsification of mobile number thereby dragging innocent person
to your deceit
3 toying with the emotion of officer through a game of deceit
4 rubbishing the image of the officer on the platform of the civilian... Can add urs

bebe la hot[color=#990000][/color]

Naijasinglegirl:
I met a policeman on Monday.
I had stood for over 10 minutes trying to cross the highway before an elderly policeman came to my rescue. He flagged down all incoming vehicles for me to cross safely. I thanked him and proceeded to walk away but he asked for my name & place of origin.
When I told him, he came up with a fable of how his grandma's sister-in-law nephew is my uncle brother cousin.
Typical Nigerian behaviour of tracing your family ancestry to theirs when they need your attention. *sigh*

Then he pointed at a bar and told me to sit out with my 'village person' briefly.
I stuttered on how I needed to be home in 10 minutes and all he did was take one look at me and another at his cellotaped patched gun strut around his shoulders.
Who wan die? I quietly followed him.

We sat by the window.
He told me to order a drink and I timidly requested for pineapple fayrouz for fear that he might arrest me if I order a fancy champagne and ibo. For where?
Then he told me some unfunny jokes and I had to let out a fake laughter for fear that he might shoot me if I don't find him funny.
To sum up how miserable I was, his mode of communication was unadulterated pidgin.
When he noticed I was twiddling with my straw nervously, he gave me that crafty, 'relax, the police is your friend' look.

"Baby girl as you never chop here, shebi you go follow me go house go cook soup for us?"
"Sir I can't oh. I have a slight fever and I feel drowsy." I replied, flabbergasted at his request.
"Drowsy drowsy...drowsy." He murmured repeatedly. "Na why you for drink stout instead of this yeye sugar water so the drowsy go just commot."

"What I mean is, I feel sleepy." I said.
He walked briskly to the window and pointed towards the left.
"You see that catholic church. You go go my house go sleep. E no far from here. Just waka straight, enter that compound opposite that catholic church, ask for chairman house. Na me be the area commander for this side."
He looked me in the eyes and smirked. "As you don become my girl, nobody fit make trouble with you for this town."
Na so!
One hawker passed with a bucket of buns.
"Egg roll dey pass oh!" He exclaimed. " You go chop am with your mineral?"
"Thank you." I said sincerely.
I couldn't laugh.
Apparently, the only way I could break-up with my new romantic boyfriend was to play along. I told him to give me an hour so I could go over to my house, drop my bags and come over to his for a nap.
His face lightened up.
He brought out a hideous walkie talkie phone and told me to input my phone number. One of those Hollywood 'Jack Bauer, do you copy' alcatel gadgets.
I took his, typed mined in his walkie talkie but replaced the last digit with 4. My apologies to the unlucky person.
He produced a bunch of keys and twirled out a spare for me.
"Panadol dey for table for sitting room if the fever still dey do you. Shebi you go wait till I come house? I go come meet you around that kind 6. "
"6 ke? Ah Oga Police don't you have armed robbers to shoot? Don't you have roadblocks to mount?" Those where my thoughts but I didn't voice them out.
I nodded in affirmation and left.

I'm still with his key. I have no intentions of ever passing his lane and I'm lucky where I live is quite a distance.
Here is to hoping I don't find my photo in one of those wanted posters.
If that is how local a relationship with a man in uniform is, abeg abeg abeg I no want.

Try Defenders so romantic and caring

Naijasinglegirl:
I met a policeman on Monday.
I had stood for over 10 minutes trying to cross the highway before an elderly policeman came to my rescue. He flagged down all incoming vehicles for me to cross safely. I thanked him and proceeded to walk away but he asked for my name & place of origin.
When I told him, he came up with a fable of how his grandma's sister-in-law nephew is my uncle brother cousin.
Typical Nigerian behaviour of tracing your family ancestry to theirs when they need your attention. *sigh*

Then he pointed at a bar and told me to sit out with my 'village person' briefly.
I stuttered on how I needed to be home in 10 minutes and all he did was take one look at me and another at his cellotaped patched gun strut around his shoulders.
Who wan die? I quietly followed him.

We sat by the window.
He told me to order a drink and I timidly requested for pineapple fayrouz for fear that he might arrest me if I order a fancy champagne and ibo. For where?
Then he told me some unfunny jokes and I had to let out a fake laughter for fear that he might shoot me if I don't find him funny.
To sum up how miserable I was, his mode of communication was unadulterated pidgin.
When he noticed I was twiddling with my straw nervously, he gave me that crafty, 'relax, the police is your friend' look.

"Baby girl as you never chop here, shebi you go follow me go house go cook soup for us?"
"Sir I can't oh. I have a slight fever and I feel drowsy." I replied, flabbergasted at his request.
"Drowsy drowsy...drowsy." He murmured repeatedly. "Na why you for drink stout instead of this yeye sugar water so the drowsy go just commot."

"What I mean is, I feel sleepy." I said.
He walked briskly to the window and pointed towards the left.
"You see that catholic church. You go go my house go sleep. E no far from here. Just waka straight, enter that compound opposite that catholic church, ask for chairman house. Na me be the area commander for this side."
He looked me in the eyes and smirked. "As you don become my girl, nobody fit make trouble with you for this town."
Na so!
One hawker passed with a bucket of buns.
"Egg roll dey pass oh!" He exclaimed. " You go chop am with your mineral?"
"Thank you." I said sincerely.
I couldn't laugh.
Apparently, the only way I could break-up with my new romantic boyfriend was to play along. I told him to give me an hour so I could go over to my house, drop my bags and come over to his for a nap.
His face lightened up.
He brought out a hideous walkie talkie phone and told me to input my phone number. One of those Hollywood 'Jack Bauer, do you copy' alcatel gadgets.
I took his, typed mined in his walkie talkie but replaced the last digit with 4. My apologies to the unlucky person.
He produced a bunch of keys and twirled out a spare for me.
"Panadol dey for table for sitting room if the fever still dey do you. Shebi you go wait till I come house? I go come meet you around that kind 6. "
"6 ke? Ah Oga Police don't you have armed robbers to shoot? Don't you have roadblocks to mount?" Those where my thoughts but I didn't voice them out.
I nodded in affirmation and left.

I'm still with his key. I have no intentions of ever passing his lane and I'm lucky where I live is quite a distance.
Here is to hoping I don't find my photo in one of those wanted posters.
If that is how local a relationship with a man in uniform is, abeg abeg abeg I no want.

Try Defenders so romantic and caring

Well u missed out because he would have been ur defender and protector.....

Jobyruz:
you must be labelled most wanted,do u know the number of charges that cold be levied against you?
Illegal possession of officers quarter keys
2 falsification of mobile number thereby dragging innocent person
to your deceit
3 toying with the emotion of officer through a game of deceit
4 rubbishing the image of the officer on the platform of the civilian... Can add urs

Refusing to collect 'egg roll' from a police officer!
LMAO!!!

You are a lucky girl.

Police men, policewomen and police spies are now the most notorious for sexual harassment and exploitation in Nigeria. It used to be more common among millitary men but the police and their spies have taken over now.

There are so many cases of sexual harassment and rape by police men and women and police spies that never come out to public knowledge because the victims are threatened with imprisonment if they leak the secret.

Even within the police the men and women of the force date each other and their are terrible reports of senior male police officers bedding many female officers at the same time just because the females want promotion to higher ranks.

Sometimes such police ladies get so messed up by their fellow police men that they eventually will never get men to marry them. This is the reason why there are so many unmarried women in the Nigerian police. This has never come out to public knowledge because it is kept very secret like other massive fraud in the Nigerian police force.

Here in Abuja it is particularly common to see married police men park police vehicles particularly the jeeps and SUV along the road and strike a pose to impress and toast gullible women with their government given vehicle and phones. They spend money extorted from road blocks on these ladies and are ready to fight and even kill other male rivals.

If you have ever seen a Nigerian police officer drinking beer in a hotel, smoking igbo and romancing prostitutes then you will know how worthless they are. This habit of many police men is what drives them to extort money at checkpoints.

Many police men now recruit their girlfriends and family members to spy on Nigerians for the police. Most Police men keep many girl friends and concubines that they regularly have sex with. In exchange for the regular sex they get from these women they turn these ladies into police spies and share money looted at checkpoints with them. They become protectors to this ladies and will do their bidding anytime. They will arrest innocent men and women that offend these ladies and imprison them for no justifiable reason.

I once had a police officer living very close to my apartment and I was shocked at the number of girlfriends that he had. Any time he receives a female visitor for the night the rumblings from the sex going on in his flat and the moanings of the ladies keep me awake in the night. All the girls he sleeps with are police spies and some of them are even female police officers.

The police women and female police spies are worse than the police men and male police spies. They are particularly notorious for their pride and arrogance.

If you as a civilian man date a police woman or female police spy and the relationship fails for any reason then you are in serious trouble. If she is at fault you are in trouble. If you are at fault you are in double trouble.

She will cook up false allegations and spurious offences and wrap them around you without your knowledge.

Then the worse, she will team up with her male colleagues to proclaim you a criminal and add you to the crime database without even telling you anything. You will suddenly become a criminal without having committed any offences.

Please note that you may not be aware that she is a police spy or police woman because many of them disguise.

You will apply for a job and attend an interview for the job only to be disqualified because when background check was done on you your name was found in the criminal database.

Years after the relationship has ended you may be walking along the road someday and a police car will stop beside you and police men will jump out, capture you and go throw you in jail for an offence you know nothing about. You will remain there without trial for years and your family will look everywhere for you and goto to the police only to hear that you are in jail or worse you have been tortured to death or shot dead mistaken for a thief or rapist. Many young men and women have met their untimely end in this way.

The Nigerian Police has killed more innocent people extrajudicially than Boko Haram. They even boast about it.

Everyday across the country hundreds of innocent men and women are murdered secretly by police and their spies because of personal offences that have nothing to do with Nigerian law. Most extra judicial killings by Nigerian police do not come to public knowledge. Such people are simply declared as missing and the police will never tell the truth about their whereabout.

Wow, very interesting and funny. Just once reading your post will keep a guy around you, I wonder how many guy will be falling over your sense of humor and intelligent.

,u sound like u need a new guy tho.

Another funny piece.

The Policeman no know say slippers get size?