Selfishness is a disease.
You cannot talk to your boyfriend of 4years,yet you can write an epistle here
Who is deceiving who??
Being an introvert implies u aren't sociable not that you're dumb.
I love you isn't that hard ..... get over yourself.


Make an effort. .. or go get professional help.

Haba!

You can try texting or messaging him more often until you find your voice. Texting "I love you" is allowed.

bebe2:
Dont u have opinions? Or gist frm daily encounters dat u can share with him?

Relationships can get boring if its only one person dat is providing d entertainment.

Try to loosen up, do new things even if u think its outside ur norm.

Ehhhhh, after four yrs still bf?
I beg sing dat Beyonce song for am oo

Abi introverts no dey sing

Lmao...well,some pple last that long before they 'put a ring on it'....u need to get out of ur shell o

....my genuine advice is to try as much as possible to be responsive to his conversations (I am not a talkative myself...my boyfriend z worse while I noticed this I also noticed he showed interest which helped me to talk more abt wat has happened, wat z happening, future plans) madam it z a relationship oooo....2way thing,if u let a guy of 4years that u dint profess ur love to,or close to yet he still sticks wif u to leave u...then u v caused it urself....i ll try to give u hints sha...down below

Ok? So I want to give you hints...don't c some of it as bad girl hints sha
1. I sincerely op u r not among d girls that tie wrapper around the house? cos since u don't go out wif him I want to assume he visits u?.try to invest in shorts(not bumshorts o!! Mi o je gbese) like decent ones that a top/ camisole can fit perfectly. PLS. Look good for d boo!!!!
2. Start from the morning (Goodmorning love,any pet name u like, or call his name in full...Trust me it z very calming) then try as much as possible to feed him details, I want to assume things happen to u, u c pictures, ur friends gist u somfin funny, u discussed something wif a family member.
3. Start from taking walks around when he comes to visit, visit places then..(it z a gradual process) like zoos, supermarkets, cinemas...if u want to go to d market, invite him to accompany u. I think he d appreciate it.
4. Try to make a note of things u want to talk about on a paper... then talk about these things...elaborate like u r explaining to a kid,u get? I don't mean u ll make the boo look stupid o!!
5. Buy him gifts for no reason, to appreciate him(omo!!! 4years isn't easy) doesn't v to expensive. For instance u can buy a polo shirt, set of singlet, pack of boxers, perfume, shades...none of these z up to 4k/5k
6. Try to tell him, u love him, u miss him, u r looking forward to seeing him, (not all in one sentence o) practice in front of a mirror if u r scared.
7. I don't believe in pre marital sex so if u r not ok wif it I totally understand but pls don't push him away if he leans in for a peck...peck him on d cheek just to show affection.
8. I kno guys 2 of em actually dating my close friends both for 5years nd no sex, d 5th year they both couldn't take it anymore(d guys) twas like they had a meeting. Still haggling on d issue...love conquers all but pls try to determine if u can't live without him....note I said 'cant'... meaning u really REALLY love him o. so u won't b wasting ur time

classicB:
I once created a thread about introvert and extrovert in love, seeking for opinions of my fellow NL members on how to cope but I didn't get any.
Firstly I know it's not all guys that can date a chronic introverted girl like me, a boring home girl. So am really lucky to have a faithful guy like my bf, we will be 4years soon.
The problem now is he has been complaining so much that am boring I cnt change that, it's not my fault. He does most of the talking in d relationship and get bored by the time I stop replying him. I am not this romantic or adventurous extrovert type of a person, I love him so much but I haven't been able to show him tru my actions.
I dnt kiss him, tell him 'i love u' to his face, go outing with him and so on.
I want to improve but I dnt know how, if we get to break up cos of my introverted nature am sure the next bf will leave me cos of that too. Please my fellow introverts how have u been coping in ur relationship with an extrovert? And I need the extrovert ladies to give me tips on how to be more romantic and outspoken I cnt afford to lose a cool and faithful bf cos of this.
I dnt like this introverted nature self.

What are you interested in? Is there anything you are passionate about? What are your hobbies?

carefreewannabe:


What are you interested in? Is there anything you are passionate about? What are your hobbies?

I am so much interested in my future and I really do not have hobbies

detutu1:
Ok? So I want to give you hints...don't c some of it as bad girl hints sha
1. I sincerely op u r not among d girls that tie wrapper around the house? cos since u don't go out wif him I want to assume he visits u?.try to invest in shorts(not bumshorts o!! Mi o je gbese) like decent ones that a top/ camisole can fit perfectly. PLS. Look good for d boo!!!!
2. Start from the morning (Goodmorning love,any pet name u like, or call his name in full...Trust me it z very calming) then try as much as possible to feed him details, I want to assume things happen to u, u c pictures, ur friends gist u somfin funny, u discussed something wif a family member.
3. Start from taking walks around when he comes to visit, visit places then..(it z a gradual process) like zoos, supermarkets, cinemas...if u want to go to d market, invite him to accompany u. I think he d appreciate it.
4. Try to make a note of things u want to talk about on a paper... then talk about these things...elaborate like u r explaining to a kid,u get? I don't mean u ll make the boo look stupid o!!
5. Buy him gifts for no reason, to appreciate him(omo!!! 4years isn't easy) doesn't v to expensive. For instance u can buy a polo shirt, set of singlet, pack of boxers, perfume, shades...none of these z up to 4k/5k
6. Try to tell him, u love him, u miss him, u r looking forward to seeing him, (not all in one sentence o) practice in front of a mirror if u r scared.
7. I don't believe in pre marital sex so if u r not ok wif it I totally understand but pls don't push him away if he leans in for a peck...peck him on d cheek just to show affection.
8. I kno guys 2 of em actually dating my close friends both for 5years nd no sex, d 5th year they both couldn't take it anymore(d guys) twas like they had a meeting. Still haggling on d issue...love conquers all but pls try to determine if u can't live without him....note I said 'cant'... meaning u really REALLY love him o. so u won't b wasting ur time

Thank u

classicB:

I am so much interested in my future and I really do not have hobbies

Everyone is interested in their future, nothing special. It's a pity you have no hobbies. The problem is not that you are an introvert. The problem is that you seem to have a boring life, that you don't seem to be interested in anything (music, literature, art, politics, movies, sport etc.) and that you consequently have no hobbies. That's why you have nothing to talk about and that's why you are boring. Are you not bored with yourself?

Sorry if it sounds harsh, it's not meant to actually. I am just trying to help and I think it requires honesty.

classicB:

Thank u

u r welcome

Awwww. I feel bad for you. An introvert is an introvert but I think that you should take sometime and study your husband and he too should take his time studying you so that you guys can come up with a system that will work for just the two of you. I don't see you as boring but I think you should find something that interests you. Something you can be passionate about. You say you are excited aboutplanning your future. Find something related to that that you and your husband could plan and work on together. Maybe you guys can spin that into something you could enjoy together. Also, you might not be an expressive person but everything becomes a habit when you keep doing it. That is the definition of habit. So tell him you love him. If you have to set an alarm to tell him then so be it. Give him a kiss after your prayers at night. Initiate sex. Just keep doing it until it becomes normal to you. I think your husband is being hard on you because having a boring spouse is not the worst thing that could happen but since he has told you what his issue might be then I think you should step out of your shell a little bit.

soulglo:
Awwww. I feel bad for you. An introvert is an introvert but I think that you should take sometime and study your husband and he too should take his time studying you so that you guys can come up with a system that will work for just the two of you. I don't see you as boring but I think you should find something that interests you. Something you can be passionate about. You say you are excited aboutplanning your future. Find something related to that that you and your husband could plan and work on together. Maybe you guys can spin that into something you could enjoy together. Also, you might not be an expressive person but everything becomes a habit when you keep doing it. That is the definition of habit. So tell him you love him. If you have to set an alarm to tell him then so be it. Give him a kiss after your prayers at night. Initiate sex. Just keep doing it until it becomes normal to you. I think your husband is being hard on you because having a boring spouse is not the worst thing that could happen but since he has told you what his issue might be then I think you should step out of your shell a little bit.

Who is her husband?

crackhaus:

Who is her husband?

It's a 4 year relationship. Wow. I don't know about this but if you have been with someone for 4 years and are not married and he has these serious issues with the very definition of you then maybe it's time to reevaluate.

soulglo:


It's a 4 year relationship. Wow. I don't know about this but if you have been with someone for 4 years and are not married and he has these serious issues with the very definition of you then maybe it's time to reevaluate.

I think so too.

I am an introvert but the things I do...

People will be surprised.

OP maybe you are just boring..try to be more interesting and spontaneous around him.

4 years?! mehn...by this time you should be doing make up on his face and taking pictures
painting his toe nails
shaving his eyebrows while he is asleep
Just have fun.
Plan outings to places he will like...you know him best. You know what he likes doing
watch sports with him if he is a sports fan. for good measure you could just support the opposite team so you can argue and have some laughs
buy the latest video game and the both of you play it together
Spontaneously dance for him....you can even dance on his body
Go to a gaming center...play snooker, go paintballing...
You could also give him some drama, tease him, make him laugh
just basically have fun!
On Fridays after work you both can just go the park, sit, buy pizza and talk.
And then you could write him little letters and drop off at places he is sure to see them...like his pockets or wallet. I prefer this to the normal boring text messages and pinging.

CoCoLav:


I think so too.

I am an introvert but the things I do...

People will be surprised.

OP maybe you are just boring..try to be more interesting and spontaneous around him.

4 years?! mehn...by this time you should be doing make up on his face and taking pictures
painting his toe nails
shaving his eyebrows while he is asleep
Just have fun.
Plan outings to places he will like...you know him best. You know what he likes doing
watch sports with him if he is a sports fan. for good measure you could just support the opposite team so you can argue and have some laughs
buy the latest video game and the both of you play it together
Spontaneously dance for him....you can even dance on his body
Go to a gaming center...play snooker, go paintballing...
You could also give him some drama, tease him, make him laugh
just basically have fun!
On Fridays after work you both can just go the park, sit, buy pizza and talk.
And then you could write him little letters and drop off at places he is sure to see them...like his pockets or wallet. I prefer this to the normal boring text messages and pinging.

Thank you. I just learnt some things from you now.

CoCoLav:


I think so too.

I am an introvert but the things I do...

People will be surprised.

OP maybe you are just boring..try to be more interesting and spontaneous around him.

4 years?! mehn...by this time you should be doing make up on his face and taking pictures
painting his toe nails
shaving his eyebrows while he is asleep
Just have fun.
Plan outings to places he will like...you know him best. You know what he likes doing
watch sports with him if he is a sports fan. for good measure you could just support the opposite team so you can argue and have some laughs
buy the latest video game and the both of you play it together
Spontaneously dance for him....you can even dance on his body
Go to a gaming center...play snooker, go paintballing...
You could also give him some drama, tease him, make him laugh
just basically have fun!
On Fridays after work you both can just go the park, sit, buy pizza and talk.
And then you could write him little letters and drop off at places he is sure to see them...like his pockets or wallet. I prefer this to the normal boring text messages and pinging.

Wow!

I have to be very candid with you - your being an introvert is not the issue.
You know people always need to have excuses and that is what you are doing now.

Your friend knows the kind of person you are and that is what attracted him to you.
Do not bother trying to make radical changes. Change does not come over night but here some tips.

- He talks allot! Cool people who talk allot love the sound of their voice. They prefer talking to good listeners not to talkers.
The problem here is not that you a not talking but you are not listening and showing interest. Most introverts are very good listeners.
So if you are not listening you too find him boring.

You don`t kiss etc. That is your right, so far you are not doing it with someone else A woman has a right to keep herself the way she wants before marriage.
However there are ways too say I love you, like a card, a letter, am sms. Small gestures, cooking a nice meal and , and and ...So many actions that say the same thing.
With time you will get to being more vocal.
Nothing wrong with not going out and having hobbies. If it makes you happly -but remember that you need to be somewhat social when the kids arrive and they need to do more than just schooling- extra curricular activities.
So if you do not have the same interests as your BF give him the freedom to go after his hobbies and interests. He loves football you don`t. Then you need to let him go watch football with his friends and not complain when he is gone.
I think the problem is not being introverted but not showing enough interest.
A partner is not something you love and put in the showcase to admire.

Anaskie:
Wow!

veave:



Thank you. I just learnt some things from you now.

You are welcome.

Your problem is half solved as u can open up here. Now when with your guy, look at him and tell him u love him, give him a kiss and start any gist that comes to ur mind, show him smiless

classicB:
I once created a thread about introvert and extrovert in love, seeking for opinions of my fellow NL members on how to cope but I didn't get any.
Firstly I know it's not all guys that can date a chronic introverted girl like me, a boring home girl. So am really lucky to have a faithful guy like my bf, we will be 4years soon.
The problem now is he has been complaining so much that am boring I cnt change that, it's not my fault. He does most of the talking in d relationship and get bored by the time I stop replying him. I am not this romantic or adventurous extrovert type of a person, I love him so much but I haven't been able to show him tru my actions.
I dnt kiss him, tell him 'i love u' to his face, go outing with him and so on.
I want to improve but I dnt know how, if we get to break up cos of my introverted nature am sure the next bf will leave me cos of that too. Please my fellow introverts how have u been coping in ur relationship with an extrovert? And I need the extrovert ladies to give me tips on how to be more romantic and outspoken I cnt afford to lose a cool and faithful bf cos of this.
I dnt like this introverted nature self.

My dear, u're not alone. I used to be an extremely introverted person and trust me, I paid dearly for it in relationship, business, opportunities etc. I felt associating with extroverts would do d trick but it didn't.

1 book did help me and I'll recommend it to u:

"Talk your way to the top" by Kevin Hogan!

U don't av to read at once but slowly and practice consistently.

U'll learn how ppl think, interact etc as well as how to spark up a conversation etc.

#my 1kobo advise

CoCoLav:


I think so too.

I am an introvert but the things I do...

People will be surprised.

OP maybe you are just boring..try to be more interesting and spontaneous around him.

4 years?! mehn...by this time you should be doing make up on his face and taking pictures
painting his toe nails
shaving his eyebrows while he is asleep
Just have fun.
Plan outings to places he will like...you know him best. You know what he likes doing
watch sports with him if he is a sports fan. for good measure you could just support the opposite team so you can argue and have some laughs
buy the latest video game and the both of you play it together
Spontaneously dance for him....you can even dance on his body
Go to a gaming center...play snooker, go paintballing...
You could also give him some drama, tease him, make him laugh
just basically have fun!
On Fridays after work you both can just go the park, sit, buy pizza and talk.
And then you could write him little letters and drop off at places he is sure to see them...like his pockets or wallet. I prefer this to the normal boring text messages and pinging.

Nice one... Love doctor

classicB:
I once created a thread about introvert and extrovert in love, seeking for opinions of my fellow NL members on how to cope but I didn't get any.
Firstly I know it's not all guys that can date a chronic introverted girl like me, a boring home girl. So am really lucky to have a faithful guy like my bf, we will be 4years soon.
The problem now is he has been complaining so much that am boring I cnt change that, it's not my fault. He does most of the talking in d relationship and get bored by the time I stop replying him. I am not this romantic or adventurous extrovert type of a person, I love him so much but I haven't been able to show him tru my actions.
I dnt kiss him, tell him 'i love u' to his face, go outing with him and so on.
I want to improve but I dnt know how, if we get to break up cos of my introverted nature am sure the next bf will leave me cos of that too. Please my fellow introverts how have u been coping in ur relationship with an extrovert? And I need the extrovert ladies to give me tips on how to be more romantic and outspoken I cnt afford to lose a cool and faithful bf cos of this.
I dnt like this introverted nature self.

OP I was an introvert. It was difficult coping at first but am more extroverted now. Even tho I seldom hang out with male friends, I lack words when am with a girl especially if she's not the boring type.

Now that I relate well with people, I find it frustrating when I come across boring ladies so now I know what people went thru trying to relate with me in the past.

Some people might curse social network and the internet, but I feel it helped me a bit in trying to relate well with people especially females. Same way you post on here, chat with people here, same way you chat on bbm, whatsapp, etc, that's how you ought to try relating in real life. Try being naughty on chats, do same real life.

By the way, I know you chat like this, OK, yes, hmmm, no, why, oh, never, lol, etc. That's not how to chat. If you don't know what to say at that particular time, think up something and type, might take you like two mins or more, but its better you say something than the boring stuff I listed. You can always say things like lol, yes, OK, etc but back them up with a message. Whenever am chatting with a girl/lady and she gives me just yes, no, lol, almost all the time, I just delete her from my contact. Sometimes, when one runs out of steam while chatting, that person could use some sentences/phrases like, "please tell me more", this is pretty funny, are you really serious about it or its one of your normal jokes", "baby you are high on something, lol", "you deserve a hot kiss for this", "what is your best sex style, you will get loads of it tomorrow for making my day (this will apply if am not speaking with a virgin tho )", etc.

Also, make friends real life and relate with them more frequently.. Don't always wait for your man to bring up discussions, what happened to jokes? What happened to biting his lips gently while kissing him, what happened to telling him how much you love his smile, how much you love his body structure, how much you want him in you, how much you always want his lips locked in yours, what happened to pressing his balls hard (don't do this one tho. ), etc.

Also, let him know you want to be more flexible but also need him to help you work on yourself. Incase you need someone to help you work on you, you can contact me and make sure you fine sha... , lol...

Best of luck!

Elantraceey


Come and see your sister


Oya come and seat down and take notes.

MarvellousGod:
Nice one... Love doctor

I wish o

CoCoLav:


I think so too.

I am an introvert but the things I do...

People will be surprised.

OP maybe you are just boring..try to be more interesting and spontaneous around him.

4 years?! mehn...by this time you should be doing make up on his face and taking pictures
painting his toe nails
shaving his eyebrows while he is asleep
Just have fun.
Plan outings to places he will like...you know him best. You know what he likes doing
watch sports with him if he is a sports fan. for good measure you could just support the opposite team so you can argue and have some laughs
buy the latest video game and the both of you play it together
Spontaneously dance for him....you can even dance on his body
Go to a gaming center...play snooker, go paintballing...
You could also give him some drama, tease him, make him laugh
just basically have fun!
On Fridays after work you both can just go the park, sit, buy pizza and talk.
And then you could write him little letters and drop off at places he is sure to see them...like his pockets or wallet. I prefer this to the normal boring text messages and pinging.

Chaiiiiiii

Your boyfriend/husband will just be knocking his head on the ground everymorning, saying "Thank you o my father in heaven for this slice of heaven you have given me in cocaluv"

I'm kinda like an ambivert, but most times I can be introverted because I'm a Melancholic, but just like you said, I can get ssssssooooo animated many times, get teasing, playful and all that, I also talk well and that balances up my introvert-ish need to be quiet atimes, because I find myself wanting to let someone know that I'm "worded"

In summary sha, thanks for all your points, even though no be my wahala dey this thread, I still learnt a lot.

InZA:



Chaiiiiiii

Your boyfriend/husband will just be knocking his head on the ground everymorning, saying "Thank you o my father in heaven for this slice of heaven you have given me in cocaluv"

I'm kinda like an ambivert, but most times I can be introverted because I'm a Melancholic, but just like you said, I can get ssssssooooo animated many times, get teasing, playful and all that, I also talk well and that balances up my introvert-ish need to be quiet atimes, because I find myself wanting to let someone know that I'm "worded"

In summary sha, thanks for all your points, even though no be my wahala dey this thread, I still learnt a lot.

You are welcome.

Lol @Boyfriend/Husband knocking head on the ground.
Please I won't want him to have coco oo (Pun fully intended)

hmmmmm am an introvert too and i so much cherish being lonely but wen am with someone i love am always free and playful. i can't count the number i kiss or say i love u. At op you need to check yourself.The guy is really trying.

my advice see a relationship expert and a psychologist. You have to work on yourself

CoCoLav:


I think so too.

I am an introvert but the things I do...

People will be surprised.

OP maybe you are just boring..try to be more interesting and spontaneous around him.

4 years?! mehn...by this time you should be doing make up on his face and taking pictures
painting his toe nails
shaving his eyebrows while he is asleep
Just have fun.
Plan outings to places he will like...you know him best. You know what he likes doing
watch sports with him if he is a sports fan. for good measure you could just support the opposite team so you can argue and have some laughs
buy the latest video game and the both of you play it together
Spontaneously dance for him....you can even dance on his body
Go to a gaming center...play snooker, go paintballing...
You could also give him some drama, tease him, make him laugh
just basically have fun!
On Fridays after work you both can just go the park, sit, buy pizza and talk.
And then you could write him little letters and drop off at places he is sure to see them...like his pockets or wallet. I prefer this to the normal boring text messages and pinging.

u really be cocolav
u sabi love matter ehn
where u cum dey wen I bin dey find love

InZA:
Elantraceey


Come and see your sister


Oya come and seat down and take notes.

why you con bend mouth?

She knows what to do jare, she only need to adjust herself that's all, i used to be worse than her.

elantraceey:
why you con bend mouth?

She knows what to do jare, she only need to adjust herself that's all, i used to be worse than her.

am only here to read your comment