Na wa oh, so your husbands friend can decide that no one will disrespect his fling but your husband can let them disrespect his lawful wife in her house and even ask that she should apologise hmmmm.

Na wa oh. You owe non of the louts any apology arrant nonsense

Am not particular about the kitchen iss but as a guest people should be more polite.
However, I understand the lady's point of view, she may have wanted a peaceful weekend but the boyfriend possibly wanted a cheaper option hence her aggression and maybe woman of the house had probably been giving her condescending looks and all hence her reaction.

Anyway, if I were you I would be more concerned with my husband not standing up for me than anything else

delishpot:


Maybe the girlfriend could have appologized? If I come your end and use your thing thinking say we be padi, and you vex say you nor like. As a person who wants peace I will say sorry nor vex. I did not know. Not to start a fight with you. That is how a good guest should behave. The friend took it too far. He behaved like an ass. One thing I happy about the friend is that he stood by his woman. Even if she was not his wife. He stood by her but the hubby na otu. He should have settled with his friend and ignored the women. Wetin be all this sef? He will scatter his home ontop a side chick sha. Na wa o.

First, you become a girlfriend before becoming a wife.
Secondly, depending on how you reacted seeing me in your kitchen . If you saw me in your kitchen, then started raising your voice, calling me names , I might react differently like fvck it..

My point is. They are your guest. Treat them with respect. Would you have treated her the same way if you knew she was married to him. Probably no

Chillisauce:


First, you become a girlfriend before becoming a wife.
Secondly, depending on how you reacted seeing me in your kitchen . If you saw me in your kitchen, then started raising your voice, calling me names , I might react differently like fvck it..

My point is. They are your guest. Treat them with respect. Would you have treated her the same way if you knew she was married to him. Probably no

Well, the point here is what the side chick did was wrong. That man better beware sha. She is not cool headed and sure will create more enemies for him in future. Right now it seems she is winning and he is smilling. All I know is that a good girl or guest will not respond back the way she did. Yes madam may have frowned cos she prolly knew the mans main chick and as such women will be women and frown at the "snatcher" but I doubt that the wife just entered the kitchen and started yelling. Evem if she entered and frowned a simple sorry from the chick will do the trick. I believe a good girl cant turn bad over night. She will try to make peace first and if all effort fails she will quietly move on unless attacked.
Like I said sha, I blame the husband. what respect will that woman have in her own home after this small fight?
Now I guess the chick will come visiting again and demand for the master bedroom and send madan sleeping in the sofa.

delishpot:


Well, the point here is what the side chick did was wrong. That man better beware sha. She is not cool headed and sure will create more enemies for him in future. Right now it seems she is winning and he is smilling. All I know is that a good girl or guest will not respond back the way she did. Yes madam may have frowned cos she prolly knew the mans main chick and as such women will be women and frown at the "snatcher" but I doubt that the wife just entered the kitchen and started yelling. Evem if she entered and frowned a simple sorry will do. I believe a good girl cant turn bad over night. She will try to makebpeace first and if all effort fails she will quietly move on unless attacked.

Pls help me understand, where was it written that the girl was a side chick?

Main or side chick is beside the point. Whether na back chick, it doesn't stop you from treating people with respect.

As long as you accepted them as your guest , make them be at home .

Or next time, there is nothing wrong in saying no.

aisha2:
Na wa oh, so your husbands friend can decide that no one will disrespect his fling but your husband can let them disrespect his lawful wife in her house and even ask that she should apologise hmmmm.

Na wa oh. You owe non of the louts any apology arrant nonsense

Am not particular about the kitchen iss but as a guest people should be more polite.
However, I understand the lady's point of view, she may have wanted a peaceful weekend but the boyfriend possibly wanted a cheaper option hence her aggression and maybe woman of the house had probably been giving her condescending looks and all hence her reaction.

Anyway, if I were you I would be more concerned with my husband not standing up for me than anything else

It is how you carry your property that people will help you carry it.

bukatyne:


It is how you carry your property that people will help you carry it.

If I were a man,and I had that kind of a wife. I will be very embarrassed .
Next time, she can as well lock her kitchen .
Or her pots

Chillisauce:


Pls help me understand, where was it written that the girl was a side chick?

Main or side chick is beside the point. Whether na back chick, it doesn't stop you from treating people with respect.

As long as you accepted them as your guest , make them be at home .

Or next time, there is nothing wrong in saying no.

Me I think the lady has self esteem oh for his friend to vex on her behalf and demand an apology is a lot oh. Even if she is side chick it shows he has more value for her than madams own husband has for madam.

Chillisauce:


Pls help me understand, where was it written that the girl was a side chick?

Main or side chick is beside the point. Whether na back chick, it doesn't stop you from treating people with respect.

As long as you accepted them as your guest , make them be at home .

Or next time, there is nothing wrong in saying no.

better. She should say no next time. Just that her hubby will not listen to her. Damn he will evem ask her to wash their butts if shit gets to that.

Its her house. If she vex o, shout o what ever, the deed has been done. The girl was ready for a fight. She must have been planning that if that womab trys her, she will show her back. That my dear, is a red flag.

aisha2:


Me I think the lady has self esteem oh for his friend to vex on her behalf and demand an apology is a lot oh. Even if she is side chick it shows he has more value for her than madams own husband has for madam.

Gbam. Exactly what I have been saying.

aisha2:


Me I think the lady has self esteem oh for his friend to vex on her behalf and demand an apology is a lot oh. Even if she is side chick it shows he has more value for her than madams own husband has for madam.

Madam na Bush woman.
The husband had already told her about the guest, why would she now start dragging kitchen with the guest.

So the guest should wait for her to wake up by 8 o'clock before she eats something. On top Wetin na. Wey hunger dey catch her
As a guest I could have endured but not everyone can. What if the guest has ulcer and needed to make a quick fix for herself and wouldn't want to wake up madam

Chillisauce:


If I were a man,and I had that kind of a wife. I will be very embarrassed .
Next time, she can as well lock her kitchen .
Or her pots

The guest mega messed up.

I can't imagine sleeping over in someone's house and I carry my too cray legs to the kitchen, open people's pots and foodstuffs and start cooking.

What am I cooking?

In my extended family, you do not enter the kitchen of your married brother uninvited except you say with them...

Let's be real...

Imagine wifey had a female friend who brought her bobo and the next day, bobo enters hubby's car that he quickly wants to get something.... The story will not be like this.

I am not even concerned if the girl is a side/main/only chick

delishpot:


Comming from a woman sha? Its a shame a woman like you will support what that LovePeddler did.
She is evil and does not deserve any respect from the owner of the home. If she was a good girl as you claimed she would not have attacked the madam but just say I am sorry I was hungry and did not want to wake you up. Please dont be offended.and off the stove and leave the kitchen. The bobo will see his babe is not happy and will have a talk with his pal or she later have a talk with the woman of the house to clear the air. If the madam of the house is still taking it personal, then they can move out for sanity sake. That is how you know decsent girls and can tell them from the raz ones.
A good girl will lay low and try to befriend the wife of her mans friend so as to be able to ask her some questions the men will not reveal about their pals. That girl is a LovePeddler and should be treated as such.. She had no regard for her bf and sure had none for the wife of her bfs pal.
I suspect you are just like that girl. I suspect you have entered the kitchen of a benefactor and even taken over her soup pot in her own home. I blame the women wrapers that hang out with your kind of women.
Your type will not even let their husbands sister enter their kitchen and will surely not let their mother inlaws cross the dinning area when they come to visit yet you are quick to judge another woma who asked a simple question in her home and got rejection and enimity in return.
I hope you are not a cheap push over desperate to find a husband sha. Cos I cant believe a married woman will open her mouth to say what you just said. This is why women cant unite. One I better pass you will surely come and prove to be perfect woman. See how the men united? See hiw the bf of the LovePeddler stood by his woman? And was even expecting an appology from another mans wife to his side chick I pray you marry that type of man, that will use you to serve his friends And their babes. And if you are married( which I doubt) I pray your husband will change and become like that guy.

Na condition make crayfish bend sha. Dem suppose flog that 'husband" sef.

@ bold, the lady is not wise...

delishpot:


better. She should say no next time. Just that her hubby will not listen to her. Damn he will evem ask her to wash their butts if shit gets to that.

Its her house. If she vex o, shout o what ever, the deed has been done. The girl was ready for a fight. She must have been planning that if that womab trys her, she will show her back. That my dear, is a red flag.

Why won't her husband listen to her if she had a valid reason. That why I don't like this master and slave type marriage . You two are supposed to make a decision and stick with it. You compromise a lot of things. 2 days will not kill madam. Haba.

Being the owner of a house doesn't give you the right to disrespect someone especially when you invited the person to your house. Fini

bukatyne:


The guest mega messed up.

I can't imagine sleeping over in someone's house and I carry my too cray legs to the kitchen, open people's pots and foodstuffs and start cooking.

What am I cooking?

In my extended family, you do not enter the kitchen of your married brother uninvited except you say with them...

Let's be real...

Imagine wifey had a female friend who brought her bobo and the next day, bobo enters hubby's car that he quickly wants to get something.... The story will not be like this.

I am not even concerned if the girl is a side/main/only chick

That is you. Car and kitchen are two different things. Kitchen is part of the house where the guest was invited to stay put. Let them be your guest. So if she wanted to eat something in the middle of the night, she should have woken madam up.anyway, I guess diff folks.

My guest can eat whatever they like as long as they don't disturb my sleep. in fact over here, we say good night before going to bed. Like that if they guest is leaving by 5am, he doesn't need to wake us up. I value my sleep time.

Chillisauce:


Why won't her husband listen to her if she had a valid reason. That why I don't like this master and slave type marriage . You two are supposed to make a decision and stick with it. You compromise a lot of things. 2 days will not kill madam. Haba.

Being the owner of a house doesn't give you the right to disrespect someone especially when you invited the person to your house. Fini

She did not invite her. She invited only the guy. The guy brought extra luggage.
Lets assume she yelled, my point is, the girl did wrong by entering another womans kitchen. I feel every woman has her meal plan and has what she is saving for later etc. A good guest will ask if she can use the kitchen not just jump into it. You sef, reason am nau? Lets say your dads pal brings his woman and first thing in the morning she jump enter kitchen? Ah ah, she is Nigerian na not oyinbo. Abeg lets face facts here and stop patronizing that babe jor.
The blame I will put on the wife is, you know you have guests why not wake up early to entertain them or tell them what they can have incase they wake up before you? That is where madam may have messed up. But the girls abd especially the boyfriends reaction was bad.
How hunger catch th reach sef? Worse cines to worse they can go buy some food outside if madam doesnt wake up early.
Unless this OP is not saying hiw angry she got?

Chillisauce:


That is you. Car and kitchen are two different things. Kitchen is part of the house where the guest was invited to stay put. Let them be your guest. So if she wanted to eat something in the middle of the night, she should have woken madam up.anyway, I guess diff folks.

My guest can eat whatever they like as long as they don't disturb my sleep. in fact over here, we say good night before going to bed. Like that if they guest is leaving by 5am, he doesn't need to wake us up. I value my sleep time.

I guess we have different perspective or experiences...

I do not know anyone related to me either that would try such...

If I was single & my mother heard such, I'm in deep shit.

Just how a host should respect her guest, a guest should also respect her host and not exceed decent boundaries

bukatyne:


The guest mega messed up.

I can't imagine sleeping over in someone's house and I carry my too cray legs to the kitchen, open people's pots and foodstuffs and start cooking.

What am I cooking?

In my extended family, you do not enter the kitchen of your married brother uninvited except you say with them...

Let's be real...

Imagine wifey had a female friend who brought her bobo and the next day, bobo enters hubby's car that he quickly wants to get something.... The story will not be like this.

I am not even concerned if the girl is a side/main/only chick

Well for me no big deal about kitchen its somewhere anyone can enter and get food abeg. All I would have expected from guest is to politely answer madam and both would have joked and laughed over it. Some women like stress, me I no fit all that protocol and wahala, I tell you feel free, see where everything is no just disturb my sleep na my own be that.

But perhaps girl was rude because madam was hostile from the beginning but I like girl somehow she no dey carry nonsense and so the man too no dey carry her play. If she didn't have strong stand with the man the girl for do eye service kneel down beg self, these is how babes should be no eye service from start tomorrow if he marries her the standard is already set no one will disrespect her and oga will allow

Chillisauce:


Madam na Bush woman.
The husband had already told her about the guest, why would she now start dragging kitchen with the guest.

So the guest should wait for her to wake up by 8 o'clock before she eats something. On top Wetin na. Wey hunger dey catch her
As a guest I could have endured but not everyone can. What if the guest has ulcer and needed to make a quick fix for herself and wouldn't want to wake up madam

Lol@bold

The direct result of schooling women into thinking their lives revolve around the kitchen.
This OP didn't try sha, I expected her to be a lot more mature than the girl.


_{If you're a guest in my house, you're welcome to use the kitchen and pantry and help yourself to the freezer as you like.
Will even provide you bathroom essentials and house robe to keep warm and comfy}

Admittedly the girl was quite rude in her response in the kitchen and I support OP for not apologizing to her since she had already gone way out of line by that comment:

All of that fiasco could have been avoided by the OP in the first place by telling the girl she's free to use the house and make herself at home.
That's how good hostesses act.

aisha2:


Well for me no big deal about kitchen its somewhere anyone can enter and get food abeg. All I would have expected from guest is to politely answer madam and both would have joked and laughed over it. Some women like stress, me I no fit all that protocol and wahala, I tell you feel free, see where everything is no just disturb my sleep na my own be that.

But perhaps girl was rude because madam was hostile from the beginning but I like girl somehow she no dey carry nonsense and so the man too no dey carry her play. If she didn't have strong stand with the man the girl for do eye service kneel down beg self, these is how babes should be no eye service from start tomorrow if he marries her the standard is already set no one will disrespect her and oga will allow

Exactly. That was what I noticed. Her man stood by her. Wether good or bad he supported his babe. OPs hubby on the other hand, I no get his own reasoning sha.
Next time that babe show face for OPs home, I am sure OP will be greeting her with a a bowl of warm water and rose petals and a warm massage Courtesy OPs hubby
You go fear levels

this space is not available....

its my cooking space....

equivalent to her kitchen...

no stranger allowed without a written permission....not even the moderators..

sign

seun's younger cousin

@ bold I don't agree. It is not that big a deal.

delishpot:



She did not invite her. She invited only the guy. The guy brought extra luggage.
Lets assume she yelled, my point is, the girl did wrong by entering another womans kitchen. I feel every woman has her meal plan and has what she is saving for later etc. A good guest will ask if she can use the kitchen not just jump into it. You sef, reason am nau? Lets say your dads pal brings his woman and first thing in the morning she jump enter kitchen? Ah ah, she is Nigerian na not oyinbo. Abeg lets face facts here and stop patronizing that babe jor.
The blame I will put on the wife is, you know you have guests why not wake up early to entertain them or tell them what they can have incase they wake up before you? That is where madam may have messed up. But the girls abd especially the boyfriends reaction was bad.
How hunger catch th reach sef? Worse cines to worse they can go buy some food outside if madam doesnt wake up early.
Unless this OP is not saying hiw angry she got?

Lmao...I don't understand how anyone can find nothing wrong with the way the visitor acted.

Madam of the house may have overreacted, but what kind of person replies her hostess in this way?

Then she throw these words at me, 'I don't blame u. I blame Cassidy who refused we lodge in a hotel'.

This response alone is enough to show any clear thinking person that this girl has a big problem with her manners, simple!

aisha2:


Well for me no big deal about kitchen its somewhere anyone can enter and get food abeg. All I would have expected from guest is to politely answer madam and both would have joked and laughed over it. Some women like stress, me I no fit all that protocol and wahala, I tell you feel free, see where everything is no just disturb my sleep na my own be that.

But perhaps girl was rude because madam was hostile from the beginning but I like girl somehow she no dey carry nonsense and so the man too no dey carry her play. If she didn't have strong stand with the man the girl for do eye service kneel down beg self, these is how babes should be no eye service from start tomorrow if he marries her the standard is already set no one will disrespect her and oga will allow

Anyone can get food from the kitchen however with consent

Let's be real: Can you and hubby visit his friend you have never met and enter the kitchen the next morning to fix yourself a meal without prior notice to your host?

cococandy:
@ bold I don't agree. It is not that big a deal.

Well, it is to many women. That you see no biggie in it doesnt mean its the norm. She is not her friend. You build some kind of trust and friendship or acceptance level before you do such without your host expressly giving the go ahead.
A guest should respect boundries. If the host says feel free o, take what ever o, dont wait for me. its a diff ball game,
I as an Africa man, will wait or go buy food if my host is sleeping late(Unless it guy without babe). Maybe my host will wake up and say why did you not go to the fridge and eat something nau? But if it is not stated as such, I will never open a host's fridge when he has a babe around Never.

bukatyne:


Anyone can get food from the kitchen however with consent

Let's be real: Can you and hubby visit his friend you have never met and enter the kitchen the next morning to fix yourself a meal without prior notice to your host?

Like I said, if you come to my house I let you know where everything is and go to bed. I don't expect you to wait for me to wake up first before you eat or wake me up to ask my permission to eat. I know a lot of women have the kitchen drama. What is the worst that can happen if someone enters the almighty kitchen to get something to eat? Will the house burn down? Will somebody die? What exactly is the fuss about kitchens?

aisha2:


Like I said, if you come to my house I let you know where everything is and go to bed. I don't expect you to wait for me to wake up first before you eat or wake me up to ask my permission to eat. I know a lot of women have the kitchen drama. What is the worst that can happen if someone enters the almighty kitchen to get something to eat? Will the house burn down? Will somebody die? What exactly is the fuss about kitchens?

I meant if you could wake up in head straight to your host's kitchen without notice...

To me, it is passing of boundaries...

I can never try that as a guest and I am sure none of my guests will be tactless enough to try it.

If I want to be helpful to a host, I will pick up the broom and sweep or do the dishes and ask the host what I should prepare for breakfast/lunch/dinner if applicable and if my host declines my help, I will hang around in the kitchen and help her do dishes or simply gist.

If the lady was a relative, it is still manageable not a complete stranger!

The myth of " your kitchen is your power" has been passed on for so long. My own power is not in the kitchen oh, I have so many other issues on my mind to be doing the " my kitchen is my world iss"

bukatyne:


I meant if you could wake up in head straight to your host's kitchen without notice...

To me, it is passing of boundaries...

I can never try that as a guest and I am sure none of my guests will be tactless enough to try it.

If I want to be helpful to a host, I will pick up the broom and sweep or do the dishes and ask the host what I should prepare for breakfast/lunch/dinner if applicable and if my host declines my help, I will hang around in the kitchen and help her do dishes or simply gist.

If the lady was a relative, it is still manageable not a complete stranger!

Again my question whats so top secret about the kitchen?

Anyway like I said most women are sensitive about their kitchen for whatever purpose I am not.

[b]how to be a good hostess:

1) be prepared: always have extra fresh clean towels and clean sheets kept for emergency visitors. A few bathroom essentials like sanitary towels,shampoo and bubble bath/shower gel in small containers on the standby.

2) don't make your guests feel like intruders: you can do this by welcoming them in with a smile (a smile always works). Tell them right away to feel at home. Helps dispel any coldness from the beginning.

3) make your home visitor friendly: tell them to help themselves to the kitchen,fridge and pantry and ask if they need any help with anything.

4)be ready to sacrifice a little: say you have unexpected guests and you have only 4eggs left in the fridge, you can be gracious and let them have it if that's what they want for breakfast. It won't kill you. Just makes your home more appealing because you guests feel treasured.

5)be clear on house rules: if you have house rules like ; no smoking in the house or a shoes-off policy, make them aware of it in the most polite way possible.

6) finally when you have an ogbanje guest like the one that visited this OP, wear your patience armor and be prepared to dash off to your room to say a silent Hail Mary in order to calm down and avoid slapping her rude mouth thereby ruining your own day and that of your husband too.

[/b]

Source: a secret place of mine


In summary, Our owerri people say ' uyo wu uyo ma gi'

The house belongs to all of us.you're welcome

delishpot:


Well, it is to many women. That you see no biggie in it doesnt mean its the norm. She is not her friend. You build some kind of trust and friendship or acceptance level before you do such without your host expressly giving the go ahead.
A guest should respect boundries. If the host says feel free o, take what ever o, dont wait for me. its a diff ball game,
I as an Africa man, will wait or go buy food if my host is sleeping late(Unless it guy without babe). Maybe my host will wake up and say why did you not go to the fridge and eat something nau? But if it is not stated as such, I will never open a host's fridge when he has a babe around Never.

yea. How to be a good guest is different from how to be a good host.

I'd probably do the same like you if I were a guest because I won't want to take my host for granted but wouldn't it be nicer if my host let me know from the beginning that it is ok to use the house?

aisha2:


Again my question whats so top secret about the kitchen?

Anyway like I said most women are sensitive about their kitchen for whatever purpose I am not.

@ Bold:

For me, no top secret about my kitchen however, there are boundaries and decorum

I ain't sensitive about my kitchen either.

Since going to the kitchen is such a taboo, I don't have a live in maid if so it means if they want water they must call me, if they want a snack they must call me, if they are hungry they must call me.
I would be worn out now, when I go to work they must wait for me to get back first before they eat or drink?