In Nigeria being a firstborn child comes with so many responsibilities. You are expected to set good examples for your younger siblings, as you come of age you have to help your parents bear the family burden. From my observation, most firstborns live to fulfil their parents dreams. They hardly live their dreams. They always find themselves trying to be the perfect child.

For me,I will say most firstborns see their position as a burden.

What's your opinion?
Is being the firstborn child a burden?
what should be the ideal upbringing for a first child?
should a firstborn live his parents dream?

it depend. If your family is poor=burden. If your family ís rich=blessing.

Not in all cases.

Yes, especially if ur parents are poor

I think it's more than just having poor parents.

What of rich parents that impose their dreams on firstborns?

Lateralmaths:
I think it's more than just having poor parents.

What of rich parents that impose their dreams on firstborns?

Rich dreams

being the first boy is a great challenge especially if ur family is not wealthy and u lose ur dad at a young age and ur oda relatives are not cooperative. also bin d first boy makes u the arrow head of d family and u are the target of spiritual and dibolical attacks. thats why some first born boys are made useless in life.

chuksey1:
being the first boy is a great challenge especially if ur family is not wealthy and u lose ur dad at a young age and ur oda relatives are not cooperative. also bin d first boy makes u the arrow head of d family and u are the target of spiritual and dibolical attacks. thats why some first born boys are made useless in life.

like seriously

REGARDLESS OF THE FINANCIAL BACKGROUND,CULTURAL STRUCTURE ,AND RELIGION,ITS ALWAYS A TOUGH BURDEN

chuksey1:
being the first boy is a great challenge especially if ur family is not wealthy and u lose ur dad at a young age and ur oda relatives are not cooperative. also bin d first boy makes u the arrow head of d family and u are the target of spiritual and dibolical attacks. thats why some first born boys are made useless in life.

Exactly my mind.

When a first born is a male child and unfortunately the family loses the dad, all eyes turns to the first born to manage their affairs and stitch it together for everyone.

So first born sons always have a major burden to take care of atyms

Has never been so with me, my Dad wanted me to be a doctor made all efforts of me accepting the course i refused and i did Economics. he said Oya do ICAN, for where that one ma i no gree. for my younger ones he pays for their school fees and do things he should do as a father, the only time i come in is when my younger ones come to me that they need LITTLE money as per elder bro na. and our last born each time i go out with her i dare not pass near or go with her to a supermarket. well maybe for now as my both parents are still living they are taken care of the family issue till when they are no more then i can take charge. am living my own dreams for now.

Not a burden but a call to duty.

psucc:
Not a burden but a call to duty.

lol call to duty ke? that's burden jor

benuejosh:
Has never been so with me, my Dad wanted me to be a doctor made all efforts of me accepting the course i refused and i did Economics. he said Oya do ICAN, for where that one ma i no gree. for my younger ones he pays for their school fees and do things he should do as a father, the only time i come in is when my younger ones come to me that they need LITTLE money as per elder bro na. and our last born each time i go out with her i dare not pass near or go with her to a supermarket. well maybe for now as my both parents are still living they are taken care of the family issue till when they are no more then i can take charge. am living my own dreams for now.

good for you.

Mathematical:
REGARDLESS OF THE FINANCIAL BACKGROUND,CULTURAL STRUCTURE ,AND RELIGION,ITS ALWAYS A TOUGH BURDEN

I agree with you.

BTW are you a mathematician?

[b]first born are always given certain measure, line to cross, coz You're the eldest. Like the popular Yoruba adage (eshin iwaju ni teyin wo sare )meaning setting a perfect example for the siblings, that's a measure.am born into an average family circle where things aint that bouyant, its always like You're bn punished buh reverse is the case,
And I can’t let it be a negative impact. That’s enough reason to worry about what I’m doing, whether it’s the right thing or not, blah blah. Seriously speaking, I DISLIKE IT! As if I don’t have enough to worry about already! I can’t take a single decision without thinking more than twice about it. Yes, I don’t want to hurt my parents. But I wish they wouldn’t expect so much from me, that they would just let me explore life and live it, even if it means falling down or failing once in a while. With all these expectations, there’s too much on my mind. And there are times when I wish I could just do something to take it all off my head! I’m going through a similar phase right now. And it sucks,
In a hilarious twist of fate, you were taught at a very young age that you would have a great deal to do with your siblings’ upbringing, as those poor, poor children would look up to you as their greatest role models. Sigh..You were blamed for everything because even if you weren’t the one at fault, “you are older and you should know better.”You never know just how much to tell them and how much to hold back because in your eyes they are still these innocent little kids that don’t want to hear anything..
[/b]

benuejosh:
Has never been so with me, my Dad wanted me to be a doctor made all efforts of me accepting the course i refused and i did Economics. he said Oya do ICAN, for where that one ma i no gree. for my younger ones he pays for their school fees and do things he should do as a father, the only time i come in is when my younger ones come to me that they need LITTLE money as per elder bro na. and our last born each time i go out with her i dare not pass near or go with her to a supermarket. well maybe for now as my both parents are still living they are taken care of the family issue till when they are no more then i can take charge. am living my own dreams for now.

Good for you bro!
I wonder what it's like to be the last born.
Ours enjoy lots of perks but I can't switch places with her.

Lateralmaths:
I agree with you.

BTW are you a mathematician?

AM NOT, THAT MONIKER MEANS LOT,ITS BEYOND MATHES REASONS

Its always tough but cant say its a burden though trust me luck is not always on their side. And nothing frustrates more than the unending struggle to live up to expectation whether ur parents is there or not or relations complying or not u always battle to set the goals which is never happening ur way

Brandnew2:

Good for you bro!
I wonder what it's like to be the last born.
Ours enjoy lots of perks but I can't switch places with her.

lol. they are the babies of the family.

Mathematical:
[b]first born are always given certain measure, line to cross, coz You're the eldest. Like the popular Yoruba adage (eshin iwaju ni teyin wo sare )meaning setting a perfect example for the siblings, that's a measure.am born into an average family circle where things aint that bouyant, its always like You're bn punished buh reverse is the case,
And I can’t let it be a negative impact. That’s enough reason to worry about what I’m doing, whether it’s the right thing or not, blah blah. Seriously speaking, I DISLIKE IT! As if I don’t have enough to worry about already! I can’t take a single decision without thinking more than twice about it. Yes, I don’t want to hurt my parents. But I wish they wouldn’t expect so much from me, that they would just let me explore life and live it, even if it means falling down or failing once in a while. With all these expectations, there’s too much on my mind. And there are times when I wish I could just do something to take it all off my head! I’m going through a similar phase right now. And it sucks,
In a hilarious twist of fate, you were taught at a very young age that you would have a great deal to do with your siblings’ upbringing, as those poor, poor children would look up to you as their greatest role models. Sigh..You were blamed for everything because even if you weren’t the one at fault, “you are older and you should know better.”You never know just how much to tell them and how much to hold back because in your eyes they are still these innocent little kids that don’t want to hear anything..
[/b]

exactly.

ChikezieU:
Its always tough but cant say its a burden though trust me luck is not always on their side. And nothing frustrates more than the unending struggle to live up to expectation whether ur parents is there or not or relations complying or not u always battle to set the goals which is never happening ur way

I disagree that luck is not always on their side.

Lateralmaths:
I disagree that luck is not always on their side.

now whats ur target as a first son, what are ur responsibilities, how do u hope to acheive that whats the results like. What are the things u risked or sacrificed. See if u r very lucky u acheive 45%. Being wealthy does not encompass money alone as its not even a responsibily for being a first son despite needing the "money" to propel others

ChikezieU:
now whats ur target as a first son, what are ur responsibilities, how do u hope to acheive that whats the results like. What are the things u risked or sacrificed. See if u r very lucky u acheive 45%. Being wealthy does not encompass money alone as its not even a responsibily for being a first son despite needing the "money" to propel others

hmmm

Lateralmaths:
exactly.

Yeap

Has never been a burden for me.

OP, u're so so right, I'm writing this 4rm experience. My dad retired, but he's not prudent with money so he lost all his money, luckily 4 him I'm d only investment he had by sending me 2 school & nw I'm working. U can imagine d pressure, my mum is a civil servant & her salary isn't much @ all. I have 3 siblings, 2 are in d uni, one studying medicine, d oda studying law & one is currently doing pre-degree. Sincerely I don't have savings, I spend money b4 it even gets 2 my hand. I try 2 give my sisters good amt as pocket money so dey will not feel inferior in school. Wen dey come home, I see d things dey buy 4 dem selves I'm happy dey always look better dan myself, dis is apart 4rm feeding o! I also feed d house, pay 4 utilities and send money 2 my mum @ times wen she's in need. My broda's predegree gulped abt 200k, which I had 2 carve out of my purse. Dats just predegree&not even admission. I have sacrificed a lot, even my friends dat earn less dan me are living better. I can't even say hw much I earn cos I don't even look it. Thank God @ least I don't pay rent. I can hardly go 4 events cos if I go, I'll spend so much on buying dresses and shoes. Its quite complicated, but all d same I thank God, cos he didn't allow my family 2 be beggers. Sometimes I think abt it& I get so angry @ my dad& I tell myself, "I don't have kids& I'm doing dis, when I have what will I do". It is well with us first borns, I have plans 2 further my educatn, but I have 2 wait till @ least my 2 sisters start working b4 I proceed, so dey can support my broda thru skool& I can take a break @ least. 2 God be d glory dey're both in final year, so by August latest dey'll be thru.

Simply put in summary:

"It is not easy to be a first born"...but we all keep hoping for a better tomorrow

Mathematical, dahmie2013

You are not alone.

dahmie2013:
OP, u're so so right, I'm writing this 4rm experience. My dad retired, but he's not prudent with money so he lost all his money, luckily 4 him I'm d only investment he had by sending me 2 school & nw I'm working. U can imagine d pressure, my mum is a civil servant & her salary isn't much @ all. I have 3 siblings, 2 are in d uni, one studying medicine, d oda studying law & one is currently doing pre-degree. Sincerely I don't have savings, I spend money b4 it even gets 2 my hand. I try 2 give my sisters good amt as pocket money so dey will not feel inferior in school. Wen dey come home, I see d things dey buy 4 dem selves I'm happy dey always look better dan myself, dis is apart 4rm feeding o! I also feed d house, pay 4 utilities and send money 2 my mum @ times wen she's in need. My broda's predegree gulped abt 200k, which I had 2 carve out of my purse. Dats just predegree&not even admission. I have sacrificed a lot, even my friends dat earn less dan me are living better. I can't even say hw much I earn cos I don't even look it. Thank God @ least I don't pay rent. I can hardly go 4 events cos if I go, I'll spend so much on buying dresses and shoes. Its quite complicated, but all d same I thank God, cos he didn't allow my family 2 be beggers. Sometimes I think abt it& I get so angry @ my dad& I tell myself, "I don't have kids& I'm doing dis, when I have what will I do". It is well with us first borns, I have plans 2 further my educatn, but I have 2 wait till @ least my 2 sisters start working b4 I proceed, so dey can support my broda thru skool& I can take a break @ least. 2 God be d glory dey're both in final year, so by August latest dey'll be thru.

very touching tale.God is ya strength..I guess you're not married yet..coz ya wife wouldn't have supported such

Only in poor homes!

Mehn! I really dnt av issues abt catering for any1 cos my parents got dat covered and i used to give dem money or vuy them stuffs but ryt nw,tinz aint so good and yeah d struggle of being d 1st is fvcked up.too many expectations but thank God say my home no be d 1 when 1st son go come begin cater for odas.but being 1st na struggle joor